Sam
We dropped Gabe and Castiel off at their house and drove home in relative silence. "Are you okay, Sammy?" Dean asked, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.
"I'm fine," I muttered, stepping out of the car as soon as we stopped to avoid the conversation.
"You don't seem fine."
"It doesn't matter. There's nothing either of us could do about it," I whispered, barely audible to even myself.
"Tell me what's wrong, Sammy," he prodded as I stumbled into the bathroom to wash the pie out of my hair.
"Don't call me Sammy," I muttered, brushing my fingers through my hair. Dean didn't say anything, just leaned against the door frame, arms crossed. "I think I like Gabriel."
"Awesome." Dean smirked, pushing off the door frame to let me leave.
"Not. It's not."
"Why not?"
I shrugged, crawling under the blankets and leaned over to my desk lamp. "You heard what he said earlier," I mumbled, trying not to seem too hurt about it, even if I was. "We could never be together."
I flicked the light off and kept my back to Dean, signaling the end of the conversation.
Dean sighed and closed the door quietly behind him, shaking his head as he left.
I closed my eyes, trying to make myself sleep to keep the tears at bay.
~~~
I stumbled into the band room, noisy as ever, and laughed when I startled a kid. "Sorry," I wheezed as I made my way towards the lockers in the back.
After tripping over students and dodging instruments, I made it to my locker and cursed whatever demon I managed to piss off. My locker was locked and I didn't have the combination, so I had to, once again, make my way through the throng of students to get to the teacher's office.
Of course, I couldn't manage to unlock my locker in time, so I was the only one still getting ready when class actually started.
I put my saxophone together and rushed o my seat just in time to tune, which I, surprisingly, didn't need to fix. Soon after, we started playing our music. We didn't get far into the piece before Balthazar stopped us to go section by section for measures 20-25.
I barely paid attention until he got to the trumpets. He had them play it one by one to get the rhythm down, because they were having a terribly rough time doing it together, and when he got to Gabe, I couldn't help but sit and listen in complete awe. The man was a master at the trumpet, his fingers flying through the fingerings, his notes soaring through the now silent room.
When he finished playing the measures, there were a few people applauding. Gabriel blushed bright red, which was a good color on him, and thanked them. Balthazar shook his head with a quiet chuckle and explained to the other trumpets that they should sound like that while playing, which caused Gabriel to blush even more.
Gabriel muttered a quiet thanks and looked my way, locking eyes with me. I quickly turned away fro him, looking elsewhere, only to spot Charlie elbowing a laughing Dean. I couldn't help but wonder what that was all about.
The rest of the class period flew by rather quickly and I made my way towards Gabe, but he was pulled to the side by Balthazar. I overheard him asking if Gabriel wanted to move up a band, but he politely declined.
My heart fluttered and I tried to remind myself that I wasn't the reason he was staying. He was probably staying to hang out with Charlie more, or with his brother.
Gabriel smiled as he left the office and high-fived me. "That was amazing, man. Why didn't you move up?" I asked.
"I like my schedule the way that it is, and I like the people in this class."
"You don't know anyone in here," I pointed out.
"I know you, Cas, Dean, and Charlie. That's enough of a reason to make me stay." Gabriel smiled, a big, toothy smile and I couldn't help the blush rising to my cheeks.
"Aw. How cute," I joked, bumping him with my shoulder to hide the blush as we headed towards out next classes.
"Shut up." Gabe laughed, elbowing me back.
In second hour, we went to go get our pictures taken for our IDs and in third hour we got our laptops. When I had first found out that the school was providing us with laptops a few years ago, I had been completely shocked. There was no way that they would trust us enough to let us have them, but they did.
I sat down at lunch, feeling exhausted for some reason I couldn't pinpoint. I ran my hands through my hair as I pulled out lunch.
Gabriel plopped down next to me and snatched my juice, refusing to give it back for a solid few minutes, giggling when I tried to grab it out of his hand.
Cas walked by and snatched the drink out of his hand, tossing it back to me. "Quit teasing him, Gabe," Cas scolded playfully.
"It's fine, Cas. He was just messing around."
Gabriel merely rolled his eyes at the both of us. "I know. I was poking fun at him for flirting with you," Cas stated.
"I wasn't flirting!" Gabe protested, face flushed in embarrassment and despite how much the words stung, I couldn't help chuckling at their banter.
"Are we talking about Sam and Gabe" They are so cute," Charlie squealed as she sat down to my left.
"Yes," Cas shouted while Gabe yelled 'no,' lightly smacking Cas on the back of the head which caused Charlie to laugh even harder.
Cas and Gabe bickered with one another as Dean talked to Jess about the upcoming dance. Charlie blinked at me and I straightened in my seat, trying to appear as though nothing was wrong.
"What's up with you?" she inquired, popping a fry into her mouth. I opened my mouth to tell her that nothing was wrong, only to be cut off by her. "Don't you dare say nothing, or that you're fine. You're not. I can tell."
I spluttered for a second before sighing, my entire body deflating. "I like Gabriel."
"I do too. What's wrong with that?" Charlie asked, trying to appear nonchalant, but I've known her long enough to pick up on the slight differences in her intonation. She was being cautious for some reason.
"No. I mean," I paused, debating whether or not I should actually say something to her about it. "I really like him."
"Oh," Charlie muttered, eyebrows furrowing. "Oh! That's amazing!"
":He said nothing could ever happen between us," I muttered sadly.
"Why would he..." she paused, brows furrowing further. "That makes a lot of sense. I'm sorry, Sam," she murmured apologetically.
"It doesn't matter. Thank you, though." I wondered what she figured out. What made a lot of sense?
Charlie looked at me sympathetically, but I shrugged it off. "Boys, will you two please sit down," Jess pleaded, fed up with their banter.
Gabe chuckled and sat down, bumping his leg against mine. I awkwardly shuffled my leg, assuming he didn't mean to bump it. A flicker of emotion passed across Gabe's face and had I not known better, I would have thought he looked hurt.
Gabriel looked away from me, head down and I stared at him.
"What made you choose to play saxophone?" Cas asked, tearing me from my thoughts.
"I just love the way it sounds," I explained excitedly. "I also love Jazz and saxophones are a huge part of that."
"I suppose," Cas muttered.
"How was your date last night?" Charlie asked, attempting to break up the awkward silence we had fallen into.
"It was great! Sam and Gabe were dragged along because Gabe was kicked out b Anna. The owners were amazing and we had a food fight with the pie," Dean explained.
"Yeah, and we had to stay behind to clean it up," Cas muttered.
"It was still fun though, and we owed it to the because not only did we make a mess, but we got a tour last minute. The tour guide was one of the owners because everyone had already left," I pointed out.
"I suppose you're right," Cas sighed.
"Well, that's sweet of them. To allow you in even though it was really late," Jess cooed.
"We should go there for a date some time. I really want to meet these owners, and it seems fun," Charlie suggested, looking to Jessica for approval. Jess nodded slightly, finding it a great idea.
"I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. If you go with a friend, make sure hey know you aren't a couple, though. They made that mistake when we went," Gabe suggested.
All of my breath left me as though I had been punched in the gut and my stomach dropped somewhere in the vicinity of my feet.
The thought of dating me was so repulsing that he had to bring it up to prevent others from experiencing it.
I could feel the tape and staples holding me together start to rip out of my heart, leaving it a beaten, bloody pulp.