Hey guys!
I just wanted to tell you that I will be on the road most of the day tomorrow, so I may not be able to update tomorrow. I will try my best to get a new chapter up, though.
Irrelevant fact: I sprained my wrist while writing this chapter. Fun.
Don't come after Y/n in this chapter, because I'm pretty sure a few of you will disagree with her actions...I advise you to put yourselves in her shoes before judging too harshly.
This chapter is absolute garbage.
I love you.
You're my confetti.
Enjoy!
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Your e/c eyes were distant and cold as you stared at the man in front of you, expression unreadable and stoic.
Yoongi couldn't stop himself from swallowing hard at the look you were currently giving as you peered at him over the book that currently rested in your hands.
He was no stranger to your glares and hard looks, but something about the way you looked at him made him feel...weak...saddened.
Maybe it was because he knew that the situation had changed between the two of you. Maybe it was because he was completely vulnerable now...He could no longer hide behind his facade of nonchalance or annoyance...
You knew everything.
And that changed everything.
Yoongi had been trying to find the courage to speak to you all day...
He was a nervous wreck and he even considered backing out and just avoiding you for the rest of his life... But that was simply out of the question.
He needed you in his life.
Even if it meant he would have to go through this humiliating moment.
When night had fallen over the enchanted kingdom, Yoongi set out to find you.
He knew you were a night owl and that you usually enjoyed being up while everyone else slept. You relished in the silence and peace that the night time brought..
After a few minutes of searching, Yoongi finally managed to stumble upon you in the library, a book in your hands and a blanket on your legs to protect you from the cold weather outside.
Your eyes instantly snapped up to him as he entered, which caused him to freeze in his spot, his words catching in his throat.
It was obvious that you didn't want to see him or even be in his presence, but Yoongi knew that it was now or never...He needed to talk to you...
The black-haired man took a small step towards your sitting figure, his eyes never leaving you.
"Y/n..." He dragged out softly. "I think we should talk."
You sighed, annoyance taking over you as you slammed the book in your hands closed.
"I have nothing to say to you, Yoongi." You spat out.
In retrospect, you probably could've handled the situation better, but whenever you looked at him, his cruel words rang through your head repeatedly. He had crossed a line.
Jin telling you about his brother's feelings didn't change anything.
You were not going to simply forget about what he had said, no matter how much he cared about you.
Yoongi frowned deeply as you stood up, walking towards the exit of the room.
His eyes widened slightly before his hand was shooting out to grip your upper arm, stopping you in your tracks.
You froze as his skin met yours, cold eyes moving to his hand that currently held you in place.
"Let go of me." You growled.
Yoongi swallowed, his head shaking slowly.
"N-No." He muttered. "We need to talk. I know that Jin told you that I-"
"Stop." You interrupted, pulling your arm away from him. "That doesn't change anything, Yoongi."
He sighed, running a hand through his raven locks as he moved his gaze to the floor.
"I know." He stated. "I screwed up. I messed up your entire life and I don't deserve to be forgiven for that...I could never ask you to forgive me for the things I've done to you....But I am asking you to talk to me. We need this-"
You laughed coldly, cutting him.
"No. You need this." You corrected. "You want to feel better. You want me to tell you that just because you like me I'm suddenly okay with everything you did. Well, I'm not...And if I'm being honest, I don't think I can ever be okay with it."
He bit his lip, eyes squeezing shut as he struggled to contain himself.
"I know that you hate me." He started softly. "And I don't blame you...But I can't just go around acting like I don't have feelings for you, Y/n...I can't just suddenly stop seeing you. You are an important part of my life and you shutting me out like this...It's killing me."
Your jaw clenched in unkempt anger at his words, nostrils flaring as you pointed an accusing finger at him.
"I don't care." You snapped. "I know I probably sound like a terrible person. I know that I should probably be a better, bigger person. But the tragic truth is that I don't care. I don't care that you're hurting because of me. I don't care that I'm "important" to you..."
Yoongi's eyes widened, a lump forming in his throat at your words.
"Y/n..."
Your name rolled off his tongue in a soft, pleading voice, numerous emotions filling his eyes as he stared at you.
"D-Don't say my name like that." You stuttered out, heart growing heavy. "You don't get to say it like that, Yoongi. You don't get to act like this-like you love me...after everything that you've done. I don't believe-I can't believe that you love me...After everything you put me through...You don't hurt people you love!"
The young sailor shot forward, his hands gripping yours tightly as he stared at you with sad eyes.
"You're right!" He exclaimed. "I shouldn't have let her hurt you. I should've stopped her. I should've defended you. I should've protected you instead of protecting myself! I should have stopped running away. I should have told you how I felt...But I didn't. I didn't and I will regret that for the rest of my life...I'm not expecting you to forgive me...I'm not even expecting you to return my feelings....but I need to have you in my life...even if it's just a glance at you from across the room. Even if it's just the lingering scent of vanilla that follows you...I can make it...I just need those small things...The things that mean you're near..."
Your eyes were wide at his confession, heart plummeting to your stomach.
The walls seemed to be slowly closing in on you as your eyes locked onto his.
This man had ruined your life in numerous ways. He had made you feel useless and powerless and weak...He didn't care that you were hurting. He didn't care that his words scarred you. He only cared about himself. He only wanted to protect himself...
You weren't cruel.
You could clearly hear the desperation and longing in Yoongi's voice...And that made you pity him...Which was surprising.
You weren't a perfect person and you knew that forgiving him...would be the hardest thing you would ever do in your entire life...and you knew that you shouldn't even be considering it...but the way he looked at you made your heart sink..
You had never seen him so raw-so vulnerable and helpless..
You could see your younger self reflected in his eyes. All the fear of rejection and the anxiety that the tense silence brought...You saw it all and that made you frown.
"What do you want from me?" You whispered out.
Yoongi's head perked up at your quiet tone, his hands gently squeezing yours as he moved closer to you.
"Nothing." He answered honestly. "I just-I'm going to become a better person and I-I want to be able to rebuild our relationship...f-from the ground up."
You blinked in surprise.
Yoongi bit his lip before continuing, his gaze moving to your hands as he hesitantly intertwined his fingers with yours.
"Y-You deserve the universe." He breathed. "A-And, right now, all I have is a small cup of stars...but I promise...I won't stop until I'm able to give you the Milky Way."
Your heart softened against your will at his words, expression falling slightly.
"How do I know you're not lying?" You whispered.
A smile tugged on the lips of the young sailor's lips.
"You don't." He stated honestly. "Words mean nothing....so let me how you through my actions...I'll be better...for you."
"I plan on holding you to that." You deadpanned.
He smiled.
"Good." He said. "I'll need you to make an honest man out of me."
You nodded, pulling your hands away from his grip.
"This is your last chance." You mumbled.
He hummed.
"That's fair." He popped. "If I ever hurt you again,
I'll chop off my own hand and feed it to a crocodile."