I decided to put you all out of your cliffhanger misery :3
Caution: Heavy, heavy chapter up ahead 😥
* * *
A lot of parents will do everything for their kids except let them be themselves
* * *
Unable to sit and be still, Sage hopped from his bed and paced his room, gnawing at his nails. With accelerated breathing and an abnormal tightness in his chest, time itself seemed to be on slow motion, the hand taking forever to strike four-thirty, the hour Cecilia usually came home.
Except, that evening Sage wanted anything but that. The feeling of impending dread doubled every time he thought of her coming home and hearing the news. Seconds away from breaking out in a panicked frenzy, he closed his eyes and forced himself to take deep breaths.
The calm only served as a medium for his brain to track back, to about two hours ago.
Getting caught in Xander's room by Anna. Whether they were just chilling on the bed or caught all over each other like they were, that fact was that Sage shouldn't have even been in Xander's room in the first place — hell, he shouldn't have even been in their house in the first place.
Sure, both Anna and Sage's mother were friends, but the point remained that Xander was rude to Anna and Xavier, and Cecilia wasn't Xander's favorite person either.
The catalyst of Sage's anxiety wasn't the mortifying ordeal of getting caught in and of itself, nor due to how calm Anna was about the entire situation, but the fact that Anna promised to tell Cecilia everything she'd witnessed.
But tell her when? It didn't have to be immediately, right? It could be the day after, next week or even next month, right?
C-calm down.
He felt as if he would combust from his nerves, and it wasn't a good feeling at all. Both he and Xander were going to get in trouble. Big, big, trouble. Maybe not so much Xander, but Sage?
Maybe if he'd told Cecilia much earlier that he liked boys, it wouldn't be as intense? What if he was caught in such a compromising position with another guy (one she approved of), or a girl, even? Would it be any different?
Those questions were left unanswered, falling in the dark recess of Sage's mind in the instance he heard a car pull to a spot in the driveway. His heart lurched and became stuck in his chest as he darted for the window, fingers crossed that it was anyone besides his mother.
Sure enough, a blond woman emerged from the car, slamming the door shut. She struggled with carrying four grocery bags to the front door, and even though Sage wanted to help her as he always did, he knew that he couldn't bear her looking at him then without breaking down.
Not even a minute later, there was a knock at the door. Sage's room door.
He was pretty sure his heart stopped breathing completely, as his fingertips turned to ice; numb and cold. A horrid case of nausea and dizziness tag-team grappled him all of a sudden, but yet his body still managed to uproot him from that spot and float over to the door like a specter. Cold sweat trickled down his back as his wet hands hovered over the doorknob for what felt like forever.
He adjusted the hood of his hoodie again to conceal the crimson bruise Xander left on his neck. With one last deep breath, he made to open the door, but an abrupt bang made him jump five feet high instead, a shriek jolting from him spontaneously.
"Donut, I know you're inside. Open the door, hm?"
She sounds calm.
Too calm.
Was it possible that she hadn't heard? Then, could Sage probably tell her first?
After gulping the lump of anxiety in his throat one last time, the blond boy pulled the door open. At the other side of the threshold stood none other than Cecilia, who stormed into the room without wasting a second. Her eyes circled the room before rounding, falling on her son, where they remained.
Her lips were set in a firm line and her eyes didn't look judgmental or angry, so that was a good sign. Still, Sage knew that she knew.
Cecilia absolutely never headed up to his room immediately upon returning home.
The woman turned away from her son for a split second, inhaling deeply. "Is it true?"
Sage froze completely. His mouth opened to respond to her, but nothing came out, so he napped it back closed, dropping his watery gaze to the ground.
"I was in the middle of marking papers when I received a call from Anna Love, hm? Saying that you were engaged in some particularly age-inappropriate, indecent acts with her son, Alexander," Cecilia spoke, knocking the air out of Sage with each word. "Is that true?" she asked for the second time, enunciating her words much carefully that time, slower and more absolute.
Sage wanted to lie. He wanted to run away and disappear. He wanted to do anything besides tell the truth in such a candid moment, but what was the point?
She knew.
Her unreadable gaze bored right through him, pinning him to the wall, daring him to lie.
"Y-yes."
Cecilia blinked at his response, as though it came as a big surprise. Her eyes stayed on her nervous son, who adjusted his hood and cleared his throat to alleviate the awkwardness.
It didn't work.
Suddenly, Cecilia stepped forth and grabbed his chin, twisting his head at the same time she yanked away the fabric of hoodie obscuring the neck he tried so hard to hide.
Sage would have jumped away, but frozen, Cecilia had already seen and analyzed the tell-tale mark on his neck. She peered at it without a word, not a single trace of anger to be seen mingling with her features.
Sage was both confused and terrified. How was he supposed to react? What was he to expect?
She stepped away and pursed her lips before setting them back into a hard like, briefly nodding to show she understood. "Okay," she clicked her tongue. "I need to sit down." and just like that, she left the room, leaving the door open as an indication that Sage was to follow. He knew Cecilia. It was far from over, but he didn't know how exactly she would handle the situation.
For that, he didn't know what terrified him more.
Sage's bed looked so inviting at that moment, but he knew that curling there and bawling his eyes out would do no good, and sooner or later Cecilia would return for him. Therefore, he convinced himself that it was okay thus far, so Cecilia must at least understood the situation even though she may not necessarily be accepting of it.
Either way, Sage gave himself a small pep-talk before leaving his room and descending the stairs. He looked around the room to get some idea of where she could have gone. His instincts came forth and guided him in the direction of the study, where the door hung ajar for him to enter. Before he did, though, he heard small sobs sounding from the room.
Cecilia absolutely never cried. Not since Gage's death.
"M-mom?" he softly called, stepping in the doorway. Sure enough, Cecilia was inside, sitting behind the desk with hands covering her face. When she moved them away, Sage could see a deluge of tears staining her cheeks, ruining her mascara, face red from crying.
She didn't stop.
In fact, a fresh batch of tears burst out, and she released a loud sob before covering her face again.
Helplessly, Sage stood there.
Feeling more afraid than he ever had in his entire life, yet so useless. Like a big disappointment.
His eyes welled with tears too, but he managed to bite his lip and hold them in for the sake of both of them.
"It can't be true. Not my donut," she whispered to herself through the tears as she then rocked back and forth. Suddenly, her angry green eyes snapped up to meet her son's, locking him there. "Where did I go wrong as a parent, hm, Sage? I gave you everything you could ever want. I go to church and praise God every single Sunday. Why would God let something like this befall you?" she blurted before another barrage of tears gripped her, overwhelming her. Sage's cheeks were wet too, notifying him that he was crying too.
"Mom—"
"Just go back to your room, Sage," she told him as she stood, ushering him out of the room. She slammed the door in his face but Sage stood there, frozen in place. He heard Cecilia fall against the door and slid down to the base, more sobs sounding from her.
Sage didn't leave his room that night, bit even for dinner, and Cecilia never once called him down nor stopped by.
Needless to say, Sage didn't get much sleep that night.
* * *
"T-thanks, R-Randall," Sage told his friend as he opened the door of his friend's Trax, stepping out. "I-I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Randall repeated, puzzled. "Sage, it's a Monday. Taste Buds call, you know."
Sag shook his head, stepping away. His eyes flit to the driveway of his house, where he noticed Cecilia's Spark parked there. She came home earlier that day. "I-I don't think I can come today, Ran."
"Why not?"
Sage glanced down at his feet, chewing on his lips. Randall sighed.
"Is everything okay? You're acting weird all day today." Randall prodded, to which Sage shook his head. "That bastard Carlos didn't lay a hand on you, did he? Because so help me God, I'll—"
"I-it's not that! I-I just ... my mom wants me to do something today." Sage quickly countered, which seemed to do just the trick. Randall still seemed a little skeptical, but after long his face softened, and he flashed Sage a toothy grin. "B-bye."
Randall waved back, and seconds later he took off down the street, turning the corner, vanishing from sight. Though Sage felt horrible about not telling Randall the truth about why he was acting 'weird' that day, he knew it was for the best. Not only was it a family issue, but Randall had been ecstatic that day from his time with Carter. Sage didn't want to ruin Randall's mood over his screw up.
The blond stood in the driveway for a few moments, gathering his wits about him. That morning, Cecilia provided breakfast and dropped him to school like she usually did, but they didn't talk like they normally would. Sure, she asked him a few formal questions about school, to which he answered, but it was crystal clear that she was avoiding the elephant in the room.
To say it was tense would be the biggest understatement in the entire world.
Regardless, he knew he had to go home. They had to deal with the situation at some point.
Opening the front door, Sage first saw Cecilia by the island. Upon seeing her son, she lowered the glass of orange juice from her lips and gave him a very tight smile.
Sage's shoulders relaxed at that. A little.
"H-hi, mom." he greeted as he kicked his converse off and entered the living room. About to dodge the awkward tension and head to his room, Cecilia put a hiatus to that plan when she gestured for him to come over, which he reluctantly did. She encouraged him to sit, and he did that too.
"Have some juice, hm?"
"O-okay."
His hands trembled as he poured the orange juice from the glass jug into the vacant glass cut, carefully so that he wouldn't spill. He lifted the glass to his lips and took a small sip, barely managing to bring it down whilst in his state of acute nervous.
"So, donut," she calmly begins. She forced another smile. "I was meaning to ask what you envisioned your life to be. So?" she gestured for him to go on.
Sage didn't know how to respond. His sense of logic wholeheartedly wandered from him.
W-where is she going with this?
He quickly took another sip of his orange juice, trying to regulate his thoughts and pulsing heartbeat. "I-I want ... I want to be a doctor." he stuttered. "A-and I want to live in an urban area."
"How about marriage? Children? How about a family?"
"I-I don't know," Sage confessed, lowering his head again.
"Just like how you're confused about what kind of a partner you desire, correct?" she asked, to which there was no response. With a sigh, she reached across the table, grabbing her son's cold hands. He'd flinched at the sudden contact, but Cecilia's firm grip didn't let up nor allow him to pull away. "You must be so confused right now, hm, donut? Okay, let me tell you a story."
"You see, before I met your father, I was a little curious too," she began. Something that seemed like disgust briefly flashed through her features before she quickly masked them and continued. "I've never told you this, but I tried kissing girls — and it wasn't my fondest moment at all. You know what I realized, donut?"
She stopped talking, prompting Sage to speak by squeezing his hands. He pressed his lips into a thin line, avoiding her eyes." I don't know, mom."
"Then I'll tell you. I realized it was disgusting, donut. And wrong." she concluded. "Highly unnatural, do you understand what I'm saying?"
Very reluctantly, Sage nodded.
"Thankfully, it was just a phase. And I was over it from there. Just know that what you're feeling is unnatural, but the good part is that it's just a phase. It'll pass in a week or two, hm?"
Shaking his head, Sage snatched his hands away. "I-it's not a phase, m-mom. I-I really like him."
Bad move.
Cecilia's entire demeanor darkened as the cloud of Sage's words fell over her head and planted themselves in her mind. Sitting up straighter in the chair, her eyes blazed with fire, like green diamond gems ready to combust under the pressure. "No son, you don't," she spat, patronizingly. "And you will not."
Her eyes impaled a thousand knives in his skin, and the air between them suddenly became icy and solidified, making it hard to breathe. Sage flinched, withering back under the pressure, his body visibly quivering from fear.
She opened her to say something but instead, she snapped it shut and closed her eyes, pausing and let out a slow, controlled breath in an attempt to loosen her body's tension. After inhaling and exhaling for the fifth time, she opened her eyes to look at her son, and she smiled. "Okay, son, I'm just going to pretend as if you didn't say that, hm? And don't you dare open your mouth if I don't permit you to." she gestured for Sage to give her his hand again, which he did, chills racing down his spine. He flinched again and tried recoiling as her ice-cold hands grasped his, but Cecilia's hold was firm. "How old are you, donut?"
Was that a rhetorical question?
Sage's mouth remained clamped shut. "I asked you a question, darling. Answer me."
"I'm f-f-fift—"
"Right, right," Cecilia cut him off. "And that boy is how old? Eighteen, correct?" she didn't allow him to answer before she followed up with, "Do you know what is supposed to happen now?"
Sage stared at her with wide eyes, his entire body wracking with nerves, making him sick to his stomach.
Cecilia smiled. "That's rape, and I should be pressing charges. And I would have, had it not been for my relationship with his mother; and she's dealing with him as we speak," she formally explained to her son. "Now, I'm sure he doesn't want a criminal record so early in his life for sexually harassing a minor, hm?"
Cecilia fell quiet for a couple of seconds, her facial expression switching between shades of anger and disgust, all simultaneously. "Look, donut, even if you chose a ... boy," she cleared her throat as she stumbled over the phrase, but resumed nevertheless. "Then why would you choose one that is rude to everyone, abuses girls and drugs and has tattoos?"
Sage felt himself melting with every lie she spewed about Xander. He's not like that.
Xander isn't like that at all.
"No," Cecilia suddenly recanted, and again, her entire face darkened. "My son will not be a ... a homosexual, sodomite man, hm? Love isn't possible between two men, only lust. Filthy lust. And I know you know that."
Sage's eyes pooled with hot tears and as he lowered his head so Cecilia wouldn't see, some fell into his lap.
"And that boy forcing you into premarital sex is absolutely disgusting and unforgivable. You won't turn out like your father, donut." she blurted, causing Sage to glance up immediately. Regret was etched across her face at the words that slipped and she tried to take them back, but it was already out. Her eyes welled with tears.
My ... father?
"M-mom—"
"I said don't talk unless I give you permission!" Cecilia shrieked all of a sudden. Unforeseen, his head snapped back with the force of the blow and caused him to sickeningly reel back as he almost toppled over. He didn't register it at first, but at the explosion of acute pain his cheekbone and the taste of blood in his mouth, he discerned what had happened.
Cecilia indeed slapped him; something she never did throughout Sage's fifteen years of life. The feeling was so foreign and so overwhelming, Sage didn't know whether he teared up because of the hit itself or the lethal blow to his heart.
Cecilia pulled her son in a tight hug, clinging to him as she broke down. "He corrupted you, Sage. But mommy will fix you right back up, okay sweetie? We'll fix it together." she sobbed. "I'm sorry for being a terrible mother."
She continued whispering words of solace to him. "I should have taken you to church with me every Sunday. You've been away for so long, no wonder why these demons possessed you. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, honey."
After what seemed like forever, Cecilia released her son and stepped away, wiping away her tears. She disregarded the slit in her son's lip from where she backhanded him and reached up, lovingly stroking his hair. "Gage would be so disappointed in you, donut, but with all this poisoning homosexual nonsense you see in the media, it's okay. It's okay to be confused, but this isn't healthy. We're going to fix this without him, hm?"
Sage remained quiet, biting back the urge to break out in tears. He couldn't even look his mother in the eye anymore.
Yet, Cecilia pushed. "Are we going to fix this, donut?"
What was there to be fixed?
Liking a boy wasn't a disease or something that meant that the devil was possessing him or anything. He liked Xander very much and that was just it; similar to anybody else being in love.
But he knew he couldn't express that to his mother.
He knew that because she was his mother, it was best that he listened to her, regardless of his personal belief.
So he nodded to show his agreement to her statement.
A faint smile transformed Cecilia's face. "Good. Now Sage Tommaso Tremaine, be the good fifteen-year-old I raised you to be and go to your room, hm? I have to schedule a meeting for us to go see Pastor Goodward and discuss this."
Sage didn't have to be told twice. His eyes stung from the tears as he ripped himself away from his mother and climbed the stairs in record time. All for the idea of diving into his bed and never getting up again, his plans were put on hiatus when he stepped in his room and saw a girl sitting on his bed.
She stopped swinging her feet under the bed as he barged in the room, and her face brightened upon seeing him. Unplugging her earphones, she shot to her feet.
"F-Felt?"
"Sa-kun! Sagey bear! It's been forever!" she squealed as she lunged at him and wrapped her arms around his neck in a chokehold. "Yay, Sagey bear! Sagey bear!" she chanted.
Sage couldn't find the strength to push her off, and judging by how much squeals she emitted, he knew that he wouldn't be able to get a word out either. Felt sprung away as Cecilia appeared in the hallway. "Hi again, Mrs. Tremaine."
Cecilia released a watery laugh as she swiped at her tears, and for the first time in days, Sage saw a genuine smile light up his mother's face. "Hi, darling. Please, call me Cecilia."
"Okay, Cecilia!" Felt chirped before adorning her attention back to Sage, where she suddenly fell quiet. Her cheeks flushed pink as she batted her eyelashes at him. "Sa-kun, your mother told me. Why didn't you tell me you liked me sooner? I..." she trailed off, selecting her words carefully. "I've always liked you too, didn't you know? I read that one article on WikiHow about how to make your crush notice you, but you didn't! I was waiting for you to ask me out all this time!"
L ... Like?
Sage's chest tightened to the point where he almost wasn't able to breathe properly. He faced his mother, who smiled lovingly at the two of them, egging on the whole act.
"Of course! Sage always spoke about you, it took me a while before I realized that he fancied you, darling," Cecilia chuckled. She padded over to her son, where she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Isn't that true, donut? Don't you like Malika here?"
Her eyes pinned him to the spot like earlier, and when he didn't talk for a while, he could feel the atmosphere tensing again until he couldn't bear it.
No, I-I don't like her.
Felt was just a friend to him. Despite her oodles of overflowing weird, she was one of the first people that actually made him feel like a normal person, hence why he felt the need to gush about it to his mother.
Nevertheless, whilst squeezing his shoulder, Cecilia's eyes were a red flag, warning him; daring him to say anything but yes.
"Um ... y-yes," Sage whispered with his eyes to the floor. Felt breathed a sigh of relief before stepping forth again, wrapping him in a long, intimate embrace. She pulled away shortly after and smacked a wet kiss against Sage's cheek, one he fought hard to not wipe away in the presence of his mother.
Cecilia's eyes gleamed with adoration as she took in the sight of what was taking place before her. She cried merely at the beautiful sight, but she forced herself to be strong. "Yes, he does, see? You didn't believe me."
Felt's thin lips stretched into a wide grin, exposing teeth. "Thank you."
"Oh, no! Don't thank me. Thank my little donut here. In fact, he'll even be taking you to the movies tomorrow after school."
* * *
To say it was tense in the Love's household would be an understatement.
And what's more was that Xander was purposefully avoiding Anna to save himself from having to hear any lecture whatsoever. He was so pissed, even he couldn't get his wild emotions under control nor relax, regardless of how many cigarettes or weed he smoked.
His fingers twirled around the unopened razor blade in his hands; his addiction. It was the only way he would be able to bleed out the toxic hatred that throttled him and he knew it. Still, he couldn't help but hesitate. He promised Carter that he'd stop.
But could he, really?
How did everything fall to pieces just like that? Of course, he just had to be miserable, right? After days of spending time with Sage and putting his mind at ease, Anna just had to ruin it. She always did, sticking her nose where it wasn't welcomed and shattering his minute sense of serenity and happiness. Just like with his mother, and now Sage.
After she barged in on them in such a compromising position, she first acted by yelling at Xander then proceeded to grab Sage's arm and rip him away. She chastised both of them whilst barring Sage from Xander like he was a perverted predator that would pounce on the boy. At that time, Xander, being as annoyed as he was, barely managed to keep his flaring, ugly temper in check, for Sage's sake.
First of all, how dare she barge in his room?
Second of all, what the fück was her problem? She walked in on two people enjoying each other's company and she acted by throwing a fit and separating them? She should have excused herself and left like a decent person, but of course not.
It wasn't even the fact that she caught him bugged him —after all, it wasn't the first time Anna barged in on him with someone — but because of the fact that she caught him with Sage. Xander's snowflake was embarrassed beyond comprehension, unable to put up any sort of resistance when Anna towed him along with her like some sort of disobedient puppy on a leash.
And of course, like the worthless person Xander knew himself to be, he couldn't do anything to help Sage, who seemed paralyzed through it all.
Just like he didn't help his mother.
"Fück!"
Rage blurred Xander's vision, choking him, completely fogging his train of rational thoughts. He needed to draw blood, somehow.
And that's what he did.
Xander swallowed harshly as he pressed bundles of tissue to his butchered, stinging thighs and wrists. He discarded the bloodied toilet paper and took a shower, ignoring how much they stang as water repeatedly cascaded over them. As per usual, the pain was worth it. As he braced against the wall in the shower and allowed the hot water to scald into his skin, he felt his thoughts returning to him in catastrophic waves.
After tending to his self-inflicted wounds, he left the bathroom and headed to the kitchen for something to eat. He hadn't eaten anything besides a biscuit in two days —since the incident — and it was starting to take a toll on his health as it always did. He knew that Sage wouldn't like it if he didn't eat something, so he did.
After gathering together random ingredients from the fridge, he sat at the island and whipped up a quick bowl of cereal and cracked open a can of soda. He thought he was home alone, but when Anna strolled into the kitchen with a handful of groceries, he realized that he wasn't.
Most likely she stayed home to keep an eye on him.
Xander's hands tightened around the spoon, aggressively shoving another spoonful of cereal in his mouth. He lost his appetite the second he laid eyes on Anna, who stood at the other side of the island shaking her head.
"Didn't you go to school today, Alexander?"
Vanessa flashed before his eyes. Xander swallowed harshly.
Don't snap.
He ignored her existence, point-blank.
"I got off work early today. I decided to check in on you."
Xander didn't say anything. This time his anger prompted him to stand and leave before he lashed out, so shoving the bowl away, he did just that, tossing the full can of soda in the bin.
"Just what were you doing with that little boy, Alexander?"
Xander knew he shouldn't have responded, but he would be damned before he missed the opportunity to piss Anna off one last time. "I was jerking him off, wasn't that fücking obvious?"
And as he anticipated, it worked. Irritation flashed in her face as her cheeks flowed from embarrassment. "And you intended to have sex with him afterward?"
Xander rolled his eyes.
"And what demon possessed you in thinking that it would be wise to target Cecilia's son?"
The use of 'demon' and 'target' in the same sentence were an interesting duo indeed. Xander cocked an eyebrow, crossing his arms.
"Whatever. I'll have you know that's considered statutory rape, Alexander. And that's the law. It doesn't matter whether or not you knew Sage is fifteen," Anna explained. "Cecilia is going to press charges."
Xander didn't know why he found that so hilarious. He cackled, non-plussed. "Let her, then. Do I look like someone that gives a fück, Anna?"
Anna was clearly about to shout, but she changed her mind and shook her head, deciding that the insolent boy wasn't worth her time. Her face twitched. "You could get up to eight years in prison, and you laugh?"
"You will stay away from him, Alexander."
Again, Xander didn't respond, only stared her dead in the eyes. "Alexander," she calmly said. "I'm talking to you."
Xander clenched his fist as another bolt of anger seared through him as Anna called him by his first name. "Why should I care, Anna? You're all about taking everyone I love from me, aren't you? Go right ahead then; throw a fücking party while you're at it. Have me rot in prison. See if I care."
That succeeded in snapping Anna's last string of patience. "That's enough!" she yelled, he voice booming around the room, catching Xander off-guard for a second. "It's one thing for you to be disrespectful and not eat to 'punish' us for some sort, but now you're getting out of control, Alexander.
"You know we don't judge, but we draw the line when you decided it's wise to fool around with little boys. All this time, Xavier and I waited for you to carry home a nice girl, but here you are, hounding after Cecilia's fifteen-year-old son for Pete's sake!" she continued to scream at him. "Getting yourself slapped with a criminal record at this stage in life for rape will have the whole family wash their hands of you. Don't you care?!"
Xander moved, taking heavy steps as he closed the distance. He leaned down and very slowly said, "Eu não me importo."
"Translate to English!" she demanded. Xander condescendingly gazed down at her for a minute before he rolled his eyes, walking off. The livid woman chased after him. "You stop right there, young man! You may hate me for a death I didn't cause, but I advise you to remember who is the head of this household and your legal guardians until you become an adult. You ought to show respect and stop moping around here like a deadbeat junkie. We do not harbour hoodlums here!
"And as if it's not bad enough, you've now turned into a gay pedophile. That's preposterous — do you and Xavier even share the same blood? It's absolutely shameful for you to carry the name of the Love's! You're a disgrace!"
Xander snapped.
"Yeah? Says the bïtch who fücks her sister's 'husband'? I wonder if sucking his dïck outside of marriage wasn't disgusting," Xander hissed. "You act like you're holy and higher than everyone when in reality, you're nothing but a conniving little slut—"
The sound of a slap echoed throughout the room.
Xander's hand grazed his stinging cheek. Fuming, his eyes swung back to Anna's.
"I'll have you know that I'm a good wife to Xavier! Better than Vanessa was and would ever be! And as for you, bastard child, my sister should have aborted you when she had the chance."
She wanted to break Xander, the cold, unfeeling, unapologetic rude boy that didn't care about anything. And she did, time and time again, but Xander would never allow her to see how badly her words affected him, because they did. They really did.
"You won't get anywhere in life with that attitude, crying over spilled milk and throwing stupid temper tantrums instead of solving the problem."
"With a mouth and attitude like that, no one will ever love you, Alexander; best believe. You ought to heed my words."
"Did Vanessa really give birth to you?"
"You should be more like your father."
Her words stung; like they always. They poisoned, electrified and pierced, deeper than Xander would ever admit.
With the rising tide in his chest and his inability to conjure any sort of response from then forth, Xander did the just thing.
He stormed out.
He stopped at the doorway, and on second thought, he whirled back to Anna. He stalked over to her and grabbed the wrist of the hand she used to slap him. He shoved her back and she yelped as his fingernails dug into her flesh, seconds away from drawing blood. "Listen to me, a'right?" Xander began, voice dangerously low. "If you ever put your filthy hand on me again, I'll—"
Xavier walked in. "Alexander!" he exclaimed. Immediately upon taking the situation in, the man dropped his briefcase and bolted forth, putting a wide berth between his wife and his son. "What on earth do you think you're doing?!"
People protect what they love.
And as both Xavier and Anna stared at him in terror, like he was a monster, Xander realized;
They didn't love him.
Not even his own father.
They didn't care about his perspective, his wellbeing, his school life, nothing.
Never once since Vanessa died, and never again would. All Xavier cared about was his precious wife, his job, and getting drunk at the bar with friends.
What was the point of staying there then?
With a million daggers lodged deep into his heart, Xander left the room. Not only was he close to tearing up, but he also couldn't bear being in the same space with the two persons he hated most in the entire world. The two persons that ruined his life, time and time again.
He fished in his pocket for his phone but instead came up with the card they left in his room a month ago and another everyone had received in a general gathering for seniors.
The contact for a licensed therapist and another for the suicide crisis prevention lifeline.
Xander stared at the latter for long, but eventually, he crushed and ripped both cards to pierces, randomly tossing them aside, because in reality, it doesn't get better.
It never did, at least not in Xander's case. And it probably never would.
Finally locating his phone, he flipped it out of his pocket. The phone buzzed, and a message briefly appeared on the screen just then.
Wanna go grab drinks?
Instead of texting back, Xander called the number.
The one number out of a hundred contacts, out of a thousand friends on Facebook; the only person he could call and talk to.
"Yellow?" his friend's goofy voice sounded from the other line.
It was no secret that Xander hated showing vulnerability to anyone, feeling as though he had to keep up the tough, unbothered exterior for fear of coming off as weak or 'pansy', but at that point, it was close to impossible not to.
He was a wreck.
He couldn't even bring himself to care whether or not Carter judged him then and there, much less find the strength to lift a blunt to his lips. Thus, ignoring how his voice cracked like glass, he choked out,
"Come fücking get me ... please."
Because at that point, had Xander gotten in his own car, he didn't know what he'd end up doing.
* * *
I don't know who I want to give a meaningful hug to more...Sage or Xander. Vote for hugs for both of them!
What are your thoughts of what Cecilia did? What are your thoughts of what went down between Xander and Anna?
And how do you think Sage and Xander's relationship will be impacted by this?