Sang
With the weekend almost to an end, I was quite reluctant to go back to school, knowing a long week was ahead of me. Mostly, I busied myself around the house, tidying up here and there as Dad watched the game on tv and drank his beer. He'd been quiet all day and it worried me a bit, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop. Even Marie was home and quiet, as strange as that was. I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth, though.
As I debated on what to make for dinner, a resounding knock at the door brought me out of my musings. I looked up and peeked out of the kitchen just as Dad pulled the door open.
"We're not interested in whatever you're selling, go bother someone else." Dad had every intention of slamming the door closed but a hand shot out and stopped it.
All I saw was a shiny Rolex and white cufflinks before a smooth, baritone voice spoke. "Mr. Sorenson, I will only take a moment of your time, if you will."
Dad frowned and I could tell he was already annoyed by the man at the door, but he was fighting to appear as dignified as he could. People up and down the lane already thought less of Dad, I worried this salesman would just make things worse. I wanted to tell him to leave and not antagonize my dad further but I was rooted to the spot, hoping beyond hope nothing happened.
With bated breath, I watched as Dad went outside, closing the door behind him. By this time, Marie had come down, lingering on the last step as she looked towards the door.
"Who is that?" she asked, crossing her arms.
"I think it's a salesman." I shrugged, because I had no idea since Dad hadn't kept the door open that much. He hated it when we answered the door and a stranger was there. Everyone he saw was suspicious and a threat. It made being at home feel that much more like a prison.
Marie rolled her eyes, sighing. She went over to the nearby window, the one that looked out into the front. She peeked through the curtains and though I was reluctant to eavesdrop, I followed behind her curiously.
From this angle, we couldn't see much and the salesman had his back to us. But I could tell he was tall, very tall. He towered over Dad's five foot ten frame easily. He wore a grey suit, with his hair slicked back and that silver Rolex on his right wrist. I could just make out a pair of black frames but otherwise, I couldn't make out his face. He felt familiar, though.
"Haven't we seen him before?" Marie asked, but it sounded more like a rhetorical question. "I swear he goes to our school, as a teacher or something, right?"
I frowned. I didn't know many teachers at school who wore suits daily. Especially at Ashley Waters High. Maybe a tie, but even that much was rare. Only Mr. Hendricks bothered to dress up but I wondered if that was because he was the principal.
"Wow, Dad has such a bitch face on. Like, way to scare people away." She shook her head and moved away from the window, bored now that her curiosity was sated. "I'll be upstairs. Do you need help with dinner?"
I blinked, momentarily surprised. The curtain fell back in place as I moved away while Marie stood near the stairs with her arms crossed again. It was a rare day Marie helped out with dinner or even left the confines of her room at all. Mostly, she hid to avoid Dad since they always argued whenever they were around each other for too long.
"I...sure, you can help if you want. I'm not sure what I'm making yet. Do you have any ideas?" I tried to keep the excitement out of my voice, but the slight smile Marie deigned me matched the one on my face.
"You're not making dinner," Dad interrupted as he came back into the house, a cigarette between his lips. He pulled a lighter from his pocket as Marie scowled and began her ascent upstairs. "We're having dinner across the street, with our neighbors. And that means you too, Marie."
"What? Seriously?! I'm not having dinner over there! None of our neighbors even like us in the first place!" she exclaimed, annoyance written clear across her face.
Dad took a long drag, blowing the smoke out as he moved into the living room where an ashtray sat on the coffee table. I wrinkled my nose, detesting cigarette smoke and the smell that permeated the air.
"I don't give a shit what you want, they've invited us. Plus, that was your vice-principal, who works at your school." Dad went around the room, collecting his beer bottles and cans he'd left lying around. This sudden change of attitude was really worrying me now, a wave of anxiety hit me all at once.
And then it suddenly occurred to me. Oh god, no. Not Kota and Nathan. Was that man their father or something? The vice-principal? I didn't think they were related, seeing as how different they looked, but then adoption was wholly possible too. Why did they want us over for dinner so bad? Why did Dad suddenly agree? And so easily? He treated them pretty badly but they still wanted us over for dinner?
Marie stomped her way upstairs, cursing Dad all the while. "I'm not fucking going, I'll be at Danielle's!"
"Thanks for fucking asking!" he yelled up at her, his face growing an angry shade of red.
Marie's reply was to slam her door shut very loudly and blast her music just as loud. I winced, wishing once again that they'd stop arguing because all the fighting in the house was just so tiring. Being the middleman between two people who clearly hated each other was hard, it was exhausting.
"Fucking brat, she never listens to me. Why the fuck am I here then?" Dad spoke aloud. He stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray and left it on the coffee table, probably for later since I knew he was running out already.
It was probably best not to antagonize Dad further so I turned, ready to make my slow ascent upstairs to change.
"Sang, make sure you dress nice. That's your Vice Principal we're having dinner with. Did you know he lived across the street with those other brats?" Dad asked me as he crossed the room, throwing the last of his beer in the trash.
"I...no. I don't see him around school very often." And it was true, I didn't see him around much, or at all really. The first and only time I saw the Vice Principal was probably at orientation. It clicked then, why Marie said he looked familiar.
His last name was Blackbourne, I remembered faintly. I couldn't seem to recall his first name but I knew he was fairly young, probably the youngest Vice Principal I've seen. I frowned, wondering where Marie had been at orientation to have seen him since I saw hide nor hair of her then.
"Well just hurry up and get ready. Be presentable and tell your damn sister she's not going over to her friends, she's grounded."
My shoulders slumped and as I finally made my way upstairs, where Marie's too-loud music was, I braced myself for the inevitable. I could already tell how this one would end.
Knocking was a moot point so I grabbed the butter knife we kept in the bathroom, since the doors in this house broke constantly. Marie always locked her door, but it was quite easy to unlock it from the outside.
Marie's music stopped suddenly, just as I got the door unlocked. Startled, I stepped back as she stormed through, a duffle bag slung around her. Her hair was done up and she changed her clothes to something more comfortable.
"Marie, I...Dad said you're grounded. Are you really going over to Danielle's still?"
She rolled her eyes. "Of course I am, it's better than being here in this shithole. I don't give a fuck what Dad says, it's not like he really cares anyway. Just let me know how dinner goes, yeah?"
With that, Marie ran down the stairs and slammed the front door closed. I could hear Dad cursing downstairs again and I wondered dimly how dinner was going to go with him all angry. Dinner was rarely a pleasant affair with Dad, if at all.
Walking over to Kota and Nathan's house was...awkward. I trailed after Dad nervously, fiddling with my glasses and making sure the frames were on straight. My hands shook constantly and sure enough, sweat began pooling in my palms. It seemed fruitless to wipe them on my pants.
"Will you stop fucking doing that? Leave your damn glasses alone and what the hell are you wearing?" Dad bit out, scowling at my shirt.
I winced and said nothing, crowding in on myself. Dad was never a fan of anything I was into. But my Ravenclaw T-shirt was as nondescript as possible. Only the house symbol was on the back and my black jacket hid most of it. I even pulled out the newest pair of jeans I had. They weren't as faded as my others and these were a bit baggier than what I normally wore but I thought I looked relatively fine. Presentable, even. I'd managed to pull my hair into a neat bun and the bags under my eyes weren't as noticeable. I didn't think my outfit was that flashy and the shirt was a navy blue, so it matched my jeans quite well. It was simple and I liked being surrounded by things that comforted me.
Dad shook his head at me as we approached the door. In the driveway, there was a maroon Toyota Corolla but Kota and Nathan's green sedan was missing. We stood at the door, Dad standing slightly in front of me as I lingered awkwardly behind him. "Next time, put on clothes that actually fit you. And when we get in there, don't say anything. We'll eat and I'll make an excuse to get us out of there."
I bit my lip to stop the scathing remark from tumbling out of me. Of course he expected me to go along with anything he said or did. What choice did I have? It seemed wrong and rude, but I didn't have the nerve to tell him otherwise. What was the point of accepting a dinner invite you had no intention of staying for?
I said nothing and found the cracks in the pavement super interesting as the door opened. Light spilled out into the evening, illuminating a pair of neon yellow socks in house slippers.
A familiar voice answered the door as the smell of garlic and herbs drifted out of the house. It smelled so inviting. "Ah! Mr. Sorenson, right on time! Dinner is almost ready, so come right in."
Dad stiffened, his back going ramrod straight. "And who are you? I wasn't aware so many of you lived here."
Curious, I peeked around Dad's frame and quite literally gaped openly at the sight of my health aide standing there in the doorway. What were the odds of that happening?
Dr. Green beamed and when he saw me gaping at him, I swear his smile got bigger. I might be seeing things, though.
"Forgive my colleagues poor manners, Mr. Sorenson. This is Sean Green, he is the guardian of one of the boys that live here. Kota, I believe you know him as. I hope you don't mind, he'll be joining us for dinner." A sharp, commanding voice spoke from behind Dr. Green. His tall frame filled the doorway and it was then that I finally got my first glimpse of my Vice Principal. Immediately, I recognized him. I wondered why it didn't click before but I'd seen him at orientation, dressed to the nines in the same grey suit he wore now. Except this time, he was sans the jacket and maroon tie.
I shifted on my feet nervously as Dad seemingly eyed the two. I swear I could see a tick forming at the corner of his head.
Dr. Green scoffed, laughing. "Honestly, Owen, I was trying to be more welcoming to our guests. Please, Mr. Sorenson, come inside."
We were ushered in and told to leave our shoes at the door, where Dr. Green handed us a pair of white slippers. It still had that newly bought smell to it, like they've never been used. Dad eyed them strangely; he didn't even use house slippers in his own house, never mind a strangers. He seemed very out of his element as he grudgingly put them on and I wondered why he even agreed to a dinner in the first place.
Mr. Blackbourne nodded at me as we went past the living room, where he'd discarded his jacket. I wondered how he'd look with the sleeves rolled up and the first couple of buttons undone? My face grew hot and I tried to put it out of my mind. It was an image that I couldn't quite picture; my Vice Principal was the epitome of perfection. His black spectacles framed his grey eyes, where a few locks of brown hair brushed his forehead. They were mostly slicked back and out of his face, and against his pale skin, he looked breathtakingly handsome. He was so flawless, it hurt.
I had to look away from his piercing gaze, even as Dr. Green waved us into the dining room with a smile.
"I hope you two don't mind something simple; Owen and I couldn't decide what to make so we settled on a pasta. And If you'd like to wash up, the bathroom is that way." Dr. Green pointed down the hall we passed by but we followed him into the dining room where the food was already set out.
I didn't think Dad would leave me alone with two men, especially not my health aide and vice principal. He eyed them warily and sat down without a word at the small oak table. It only seated four so we were in close proximity from each other. Dr. Green and I were across each other leaving my Dad and Mr. Blackbourne to face off. I swallowed nervously, shoving my hands under my thighs in an effort not to pick at my glasses. Dad was right, it was a bad habit I couldn't shake, but my nerves sent me into a panic.
Mr. Blackbourne's presence was almost suffocating in its intensity and sitting next to him was more than a little awkward. I would have much rather have been seated next to Dr. Green. As it was, my dad was like a bomb waiting to go off. This wasn't going to end well.
There was water set and a pitcher of juice that Dr. Green set down in front of me. Mr. Blackbourne passed a plate to me and I took it with a thanks before handing my dad a plate. It was a creamy dish, with grilled chicken and mushrooms. A bowl of salad sat in the center with ranch dressing and a vinaigrette to the side. Mr. Blackbourne handed me a small plate and scooped some salad for me. Dad continued eyeing them suspiciously and anyone with two eyes could see the tension pouring off him.
I took my fork with shaky hands and decided that my plate was far more interesting than seeing my dad act like a jerk. This was a bad idea, I thought once again.
"Where are your boys?" Dad asked after a beat of silence. All you could hear were the clanking of silverware and I swear the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
"Sleeping over at a friends house," Dr. Green said as he wiped his mouth. "By the way, Sang, they both say hi and will see you at school."
I froze and glanced at my dad who paused in his chewing. I gulped nervously but smiled at Dr. Green. I couldn't speak even if I wanted too. I was too frozen to do anything but eat.
After an agonizing minute, Dad resumed chewing and took another bite of his food. "I didn't know you guys were friends." Dad glanced at me, anger in his eyes. He was annoyed, I could tell.
"Ah...I just see them in passing sometimes. We don't have any classes together." I amended truthfully. There wasn't much else I could say; either Dad believed me or chewed me out for it later.
I took a bite of my pasta to distract myself from the awkward silence. After a bit of eating, conversation around the table began to go more smoothly. We exchanged pleasantries and got through the usual "how have you been, what have you been up to" introductions. Dad was mostly pleasant through it all because the questions were harmful enough and usually not directed at me. And Dad was good at giving one word answers or deflecting. Until the flow of conversation began shifting in my direction.
"So, how have your classes been, Sang? Settling in well enough I hope?" Dr. Green asked with a smile.
"She's doing just fine, right?" Dad glanced at me, leveling me with a stare I knew all too well. This wasn't a question, it was a demand and I was forced to comply.
Instead of answering, I nodded my head and went back to my pasta. It was surprisingly good and even if this night ended badly at least the food was delicious. I winced, slumping in my seat.
"So," Dad started, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Sean, how does someone as young as yourself get to be a health aide. Is this a permanent thing?"
Of all the things to ask him! I cut my stare to Dad and felt more than a little ashamed at how rude he was being. He may have tried to phrase it nicely but even I knew what he was getting at. Resolutely, I shifted my gaze firmly on my food but couldn't resist a peek at Dr. Green. Mr. Blackbourne had been quiet throughout the meal, only speaking sparsely here and there. He never addressed me, only to ask for something that was clearly out of his reach but Dad always beat me to it. Briefly, I wondered when the other shoe was going to drop.
Thankfully, if Dr. Green heard the animosity in my dad's voice, he didn't say or show it bothered him. "Definitely not a permanent thing but I needed the experience. Mrs. Martin was kind enough to allow me to intern under her."
"So you plan on being a doctor then? Kind of young to be a doctor though, do people just hand these jobs out to anyone?" Dad laughed, but the sound was empty and more than a little awkward.
Dr. Green smiled as he chewed his food and laughed. I felt sorry for him either way. There was a silver of a smile on his face that I couldn't decipher what he was thinking. And Mr. Blackbourne's poker face was just as puzzling. Once again, my pasta seemed infinitely more interesting than watching my dad make a fool of himself.
"Miss Sorenson, tell me, what do you plan on doing after you finish school?" Mr. Blackbourne asked after another awkward beat of silence. It was the first time he's actually addressed me without including my dad in it and the question took me by surprise.
I swallowed uneasily, making a point not to glance over at my dad. "Um...I...well, I hadn't given it much thought. I think I might --"
"She's going to a college nearby, right?" Dad said more than asked as he cut into his chicken. I glanced at him briefly, seeing the annoyance in eyes before shooting what I hoped was a reassuring smile at Mr. Blackbourne.
"The nearby college has a good...art program. It might...be better for me to stay closer to home, anyway." I amended quietly, my head down. Resolutely, I looked anywhere but at my plate though I felt stares from all sides of me.
The tension in the room skyrocketed and I wanted nothing more than for the floor to swallow me up.
"Don't be in such a rush to decide, Miss Sorenson. If you find yourself indecisive, try everything. You are young, it's far too early for you to be decided on a set path. Just make sure it's what you want and not what someone else expects of you." Mr. Blackbournes words pierced right through me. I looked up at him in surprise, feeling my dad's dead weight stare upon him.
I bristled a bit at his reply, because he hardly knew me and here he was, telling my dad to basically 'shove off'. I...wasn't sure what to say or think; I nodded at him and tried to smile like I was grateful but the truth of his statement hit me like a ton of bricks. All at once, I suddenly didn't want to be here, sitting with my health aide and vice principal. I felt the inexplicable urge to prove myself but I wasn't sure why.
Talk around the table ceased and as Dr. Green took the dishes away, Dad stood, wiping his mouth.
"You talk to all your students like that?" Dad asked as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. "I mean, your kind of young yourself."
Mr. Blackbourne finished his plate as cleanly as he dressed and set his utensils down quietly. "Indeed, I encourage all young adults to take every opportunity to make informed decisions that can and will alter their future. They should be encouraged to make their own mistakes and be able to learn from them, not have their parents press their beliefs on them. Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Sorenson?" The biting remark was not lost on me but Mr. Blackbourne phrased it in such a way that I wasn't sure whether we were still talking about me or not.
The look on my father's face though, was probably worth it but I knew I was going to hear it once we got home.
"So, dessert anyone?" Dr. Green stood and smiled at the three of us as if a showdown wasn't about to go down. I quite admired his ability to 'grin and bear it', so to speak.
Unfortunately, my dad looked about ready to blow. It was high time we left before I potentially got kicked out of school. I didn't think that was a possibility but it was awkward enough being here that anything was possible at this point.
"No, we should head out. Sang has school and I'm sure you two are quite busy yourselves so we'll see ourselves out," Dad announced as he grabbed his jacket and made his way to the door. I said nothing as I followed him, purposely avoiding eye contact with Mr. Blackbourne as he saw us out.
"Miss Sorenson, we'll see you at school tomorrow." Mr. Blackbourne was curt as he addressed me and I couldn't read his expression even if I wanted too. His face was a blank mask, giving no indication that the dinner had been a complete and utter disaster.
Dad was suspiciously quiet as we walked across the street but I smiled weakly and waved back at Dr. Green who bid me goodnight.
Inside, I was a wreck and Mr. Blackbournes words echoed on repeat in my head. Why did he bother me so much? I wasn't sure, but he gave off this sophisticated air like he just knew everything or maybe he was just a very blunt person. I didn't know, but it left a lasting impression on me.
That night, Dad was silent and immediately went up to his room without another word. I expected some kind of backlash from him but he ignored me completely and locked himself in his room.
Puzzled, I didn't question it. I went upstairs and lost myself in the rolling hills of Rohan, content on imagining handsome horse lords instead of intimidating vice principals.
Sometime in the night, I woke unexpectedly, jarred suddenly from sleep. The room swam and I reached blindly for my glasses as darkness remained all around me. There was something wet on my underwear and when I pulled the sheets off, I realized with dismay that my period had finally come. The large blood stain was unmistakable and I groaned at the thought of having to clean all my bedsheets now. I slumped over tiredly, cursing shark week.
As I gathered my stuff to shower and tip-toed quietly to the bathroom, I noticed Dad's bedroom light was on and his door was cracked just a smidge. I was intent on ignoring it, half-asleep as it was and too annoyed to be bothered with why Dad was awake at twelve midnight when he began lightly shouting at someone.
Startled, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and crept to his door. No surprise, there were beer cans all over the place and he had a cigarette in hand while the other had a phone pressed to his ear.
"You helped me before, I just need one more favor." He paced back and forth, alternating between taking a drag from his cigarette and a nearby beer can. "I don't fucking care how busy you are -- this is what you do, right? Look into these guys for me and get me their information. I'll pay you back as soon as I can get the money."
I blinked and rubbed my eyes, unsure what I was hearing and half believing I was still asleep. I was confused and yet felt that the conversation wasn't meant for my ears. Who was Dad talking to at this time? And what was he talking about?
Dad stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray by his bed, discarding his beer can by his feet as he sat leaning against his thighs. He looked tired in that pose, like the world had torn him down one too many times.
"Five fucking hundred?! No -- okay, fine. Shit. Yes, I'll get the damn money so just get me what I fucking need." He hung up with a curse and stood, approaching the door.
I ran to the bathroom, closing the door silently as Dad's strange midnight conversation lingered in my head. It seemed strange and I had the funniest feeling that I was missing something but it was far too late at night to ponder such things. I shook my head, sure I was dreaming or hallucinating.
With blood dripping between my thighs, I did my business and chalked everything up to all the late night reading. Note to self: no more books before bed. And definitely no late night hot chocolate runs either.