This world is rough, we must be strong enough to live on. And children didn't ask anyone to be born in this world by themselves. Parents made it happens. And it's parents' responsibility to raise their children with love and affection, so that children understand that they are loved, that they are matter, that they are there in the middle of the family as a gift. But sometimes, parents forgot that children has their own thoughts, their own souls, their own dreams. Parents can give good advice to their children and encourage them to do their best, but the final decision of the dreams lies in their own hands.
And parents sometimes didn't know, that the worst thing to be heard from them is "I'm disappointed in you."
Namjoon was one of those children that couldn't decide his own will, his own dreams, his own desire because of his parents. Because of his father. Namjoon spent his childhood and adolescence trying to please his father. Mr Kim was a perfectionist and he expected Namjoon to have the same high standards and to be perfect. And Namjoon failed. And that led him into depression. And it getting worse after his mother passed away.
Namjoon was never had any desire to become a heir of KIM & Co nor to continue the family business. His desire was to become a musician.
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"Seokjin didn't come to visit you?" Hyosang rubbed his temple, had a conversation with the person in the other line. A bit headache as he reached another folder and read the files inside. Well, he had so many to prepare for the seminar and he had a hectic schedule in the hospital. He nodded and shrugged whenever the other person answered him. "Assignment? He got schedule to assist Professor Lee next month. He didn't tell me about another schedule this month." He flipped another page of the file.
"Well, it's okay if he is busy. It's just somehow weird he didn't answer my video call... We are still texting though." He responded as he read the file. "Ehh? What? He didn't answer yours as well?" Then he laughed when the other person in the other line joked around about Seokjin finally got a boyfriend but the man was somehow possessive. "Yeah, who knows. He didn't tell me, but let's see the surprise." He laughed more. "Sure. See you two months from now, Jungkookie."
He ended the conversation and continue to read. But something got him full with thoughts. Is Seokjin really okay? It's okay for him if Seokjin really busy with university projects, or even got a boyfriend, they had this talk before he went to Sweden. But what if Seokjin hiding something from them.
"I wonder if Seokjinie already make a move as I told him and that Kim bloody Namjoon accepted his feelings." He smiled bitterly. "Well, that young Kim hot genius looked a bit possessive though. Judging from his appearance." He laughed to cheer himself up.
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"Namjoon!" Bomi waved her hand when Namjoon entered the coffee shop. Yoongi was beside her. The two used to meet in the campus cafetaria to discuss the material for Sweden seminar, but that day Namjoon asked them to meet in his favorite coffee shop. "What took you so long?"
"Yeah, what took you so long? You are wasting my precious time." Yoongi clicked his tongue.
Namjoon took a seat and ordered a cup of iced americano along with some menus for lunch when the waitress came to the table. "Sorry, I drove from the old mansion it took an hour driving."
"The old mansion?" Bomi knitted her eyebrows. "Are you live there now?"
"Well, I stay there mostly in the weekend..."
"Aww something is fishy." Bomi laughed and teased the man. "Do you secretly hide someone there? Your lover that your father won't accept because he or she is not in the same level with your family?"
Namjoon laughed and sneered. "I better to keep my lover in my apartment than to keep him in the old mansion."
"So?" Bomi asked for the detail situation.
"Well... The old mansion was the place where I spent my childhood to take care of my mother when her condition got worse and worse every single days. And I miss her... I miss her every single days, and... It's become harder after Hoseokie..."
There, Bomi couldn't ask for more question. To talk about Namjoon's mother and Hoseok could be more triggered than to talk about him as the heir of KIM & Co.
"Okay..." Yoongi cleared his throat as he understood the situation. And Bomi just sipped her chamomile tea. They ordered lunch earlier but asked the waitress to serve their meals when Namjoon arrived. "Well, we are actually wanted to have some friendly lunch and warm small talk like we used to..." He looked hesitate.
"Go ahead..."
"And we wanted to make sure that you are okay."
Namjoon received his americano and enjoyed it. "I'm good." He answered nonchalantly. "Don't you see?"
Yoongi took a glance into the young lady beside him before replied the man. "Then, we are happy to hear that from you."
"Come on guys, I'm not a kid that you have to worry anymore. And I'm here for having some fun. Not to hear some lectures."
"Sure..." Yoongi didn't want to spoil the mood and they needed Namjoon to stay, they wanted to confirm some certain thing about the man's habit. They wanted to make sure the man is really okay.
"Ohh, my lemon chicken and salad!" Bomi chirped to calm the heat as the waitress came to their table with their ordered meals. The waitress put a plate of chicken curry for Yoongi and a plate of pasta for Namjoon. "Pasta?" She raised her left eyebrow. "It's the last menu you gonna choose and there are available menu of your favorites you can order, why in the world so suddenly pasta?"
Namjoon took a mouthfull pasta. "Not that I hate it. Just not my favorite..."
"Mkay. Whatever..." Bomi enjoyed her own meals. "How was your dad, btw?"
Namjoon just shrugged his shoulders.
Yoongi made a sign to the young lady to ask more because they needed to know what the man would do after the graduation.
"Let's say your dad is fine." Bomi continued. "So, what's your plan then? Ready to take over KIM & Co, or wanna go for vacation first? Or anything else?"
"Or maybe we could go for vacation together to Sweden and North Europe?" Yoongi suggested. "Me and Bomi can reschedule our agenda after the seminar, so we can fooling around after it. How?"
"That's nice!!" Bomi so excited with the idea. "Let's go, Namjoon!!"
"Sounds boring."
"Geez..." Bomi sneered. "We won't know until we experience it ourselves. Come on. I insist!"
"Gimme some appealing reason."
"Ugh. Who knows you meet someone and falling in love there."
"Nice try, Bomi. But, not appealing enough."
"Who knows you get inspirations to write songs there..." Yoongi added.
Namjoon put down his fork. "My dad would hate it."
"Yah. You can be the filial son your dad asked you to be. And doing musics at the same time."
"It's not that simple, Yoongs. To be well known musician and doing musics are different. I won't have time to perform on the stage the moment I took the family companies."
"You would never know. Just try it first. We can do it together."
"How?" Namjoon pierced his beads on the older man. "Without Hoseokie---"
"There... There... You are still live in the past." Yoongi clicked his tongue. "Do you think Hoseokie gonna be impressed with you mourning his death like there is no future for us? He will be sad for sure." Yoongi said. "Cheer up a bit. He will be happy to see us continue our life."
"You guys don't know how to be me..."
"Then let us to know..." Yoongi and Bomi said in unison.
"Share with us so we can help..." Bomi reached out Namjoon's hand. "You have us, please talk whenever you feel burdened..." She said as she exposed the man's arm that covered with grey buttoned long sleeves. Because that's what she and Yoongi wanted to confirm.
And Yoongi rubbed his face roughly when the arm was totally exposed. "Can we order some dessert?" He asked Bomi. "Let's continue to talk later."
Bomi bit her lower lip and took a glance to the pale skin man, before she released her grip from Namjoon's arm and asked the waitress to order more.
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Seokjin was blankly staring the carnations garden outside, with the help of the dim lightening, when he heard the piano melodies been played from the room downstairs. It was around 6.49PM almost dinner time. Seokjin didn't know much about classical music, he couldn't tell which one is Bach, Chopin, Beethoven, nor Mozart's masterpiece. But he could tell the beautiful melodies were from a movie he watched when he was younger. It's Victor's Piano Solo and The Piano Duet from Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. It's beautifully stabbed him right to the heart. Beautiful yet anguish at the same moment.
But he wondered who played the piano? Namjoon? If it was the man, why he played such melodies. Tim Burton had so many masterpieces with beautiful yet dark soundtrack, as the movie itself. And amongst those masterpieces, why Corpse Bride? More over when the man was into hiphop culture. Well, everyone has the right to play any instrument they like for any different genre they know. Seokjin just wanted to know why Namjoon played it.
A creaked sound from the door distracted him. Bomin came with tiny table he recognized. So, he would have a dinner with Namjoon? But sure not a romantic one, just like the afternoon tea they had before.
"Hyung?" Bomin greeted the older as he put the table beside the bed.
"Hey..." Seokjin answered with genuine smile plastered on his face and got his attention back on the carnations garden. Staring the beautiful flowers and drowned into the beautiful melodies, felt a bit sleepy. He taken aback when the melodies ended.
"Was that Namjoon?" He asked the young lad.
"What?"
"The piano melodies that been played just now. Was that Namjoon who played it?"
"Ohh that... Yeah it was Namjoon hyung who played it..." Bomin settled the table with white tablecloth and took the chair from study table. "Beautiful, right?" He smiled bitterly. "Will be more beautiful if he didn't treat you like this."
Seokjin shifted away from the window and sat on the mattress. "I don't even know why he is so persistently blaming me for his beloved friend's death. Did you know why?"
Bomin couldn't answer the question. Because he didn't know.
"I properly met Hoseok once, and had some friendly conversations with him. But we didn't talk about feelings, he didn't even mention it. Instead, he mentioned about Namjoon and asked me what I think about people called him Kim hot genius. But really, Hoseok didn't confess nor say anything related his feelings towards me. So why Namjoon..." Seokjin couldn't continue his words.
Bomin followed Seokjin to sit on the mattress and held the older's hands. "I know nothing about the reason behind his cruelness towards you, hyung." Bomin didn't look into the other's beads, he way conflicted between his agreement with Namjoon for Jaehyun's sake and feeling guilty by Seokjin's condition. "But I can tell you that he was nice and caring person before his mother passed away. He was kind. A genius with warm personality and far from..." The young lad looked into the chains that chained Seokjin's ankle.
"Far from this madness?"
Bomin nodded. "He became cold and mean after his mother passed away. His father didn't treat him any better as a son. His father just wanted him to be a perfect heir who had responsibility to continue the KIM & Co."
"I know how it feels." Seokjin smiled bitterly. He and Namjoon had this poor similarity. "It's hard to be filial son. But maybe I am more lucky than him, because my parents just wanted me to become an architect, and marry Hyosang my childhood friend, though I have this certain person I love. And it's not Hyosang. But at least, I got enough love and affection." He ruffled Bomin's hair, treated the young lad like he did to Jungkook. "I will try to---"
Seokjin couldn't finish his sentence because Namjoon suddenly appeared on the room and made Bomin jumped from the mattress and stood awkwardly.
"I will prepare the dinner soon, hyung." Bomin said to Namjoon. "A minute..." Then he left in a rush.
Namjoon didn't give any response to Bomin and walked heading the large trellised window, and Seokjin's sight followed the man. Namjoon just stood up on the windowsill, looking outside. What else if it's not the carnations garden. The cockloft was actually the best place inside the house to get the best view of the garden. The cockloft was Namjoon's old bedroom. He used to stay there, it was the place he had some rest after taking care of his mother until the day he couldn't met the person who loved him the most, ever again.
The man shut his eyes closed and drowned on his own thoughts, leaving Seokjin wondering alone what kind of hardtime the man had been through. Must be hard to lost a mother and a best friend, with burdened responsibility as a perfect son and perfect heir of a monstrous company in South Korea. At a moment, Seokjin understood. Namjoon seemed tough outside, but actually shattered pieces inside. People said that Namjoon got everything everyone wanted to ask. Brains, good look, wealth. But they didn't know what actually happened to the man. He wasn't perfect as they thought. He wasn't fortunate as they said.
"I..." Seokjin cleared his throat, wanted to create good atmosphere. And it succeed to make Namjoon opened his eyes. "I heard you played the piano. It was beautiful."
Namjoon just looking at him with flat expression.
"It was Victor's Piano Solo and The Piano Duet, right?" Seokjin waited for some reaction. "Do you like Tim Burton's?"
A moment of silence.
"It was my mom. She loved Tim Burton's and we often watched movies together."
Flat and cold. But it made Seokjin wanted to jump and yell and hug the man. It's hard to believe that Namjoon answered him for such question without any flare up nor anger tone.
"Ahh, I see. That's lovely..." Seokjin smiled. "I used to watch Ghibli movies with my mom when I was younger. My favorite was Princess Mononoke..."
Namjoon turned his head back to look the scenery outside, staring the carnations garden. "But you still have your mom..."
Seokjin felt the guilt after it. Wrong topic, he wasn't sensible. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."
Thankfully Bomin came with the dinner. The young lad arranged the plates and glasses, with a bottle of red wine and of course white and pink carnations on the vase. It took a moment and they were there in silence.
"Have a nice dinner, hyung..." Bomin said and left the two.
Seokjin didn't move from his spot, still sat on the mattress. Last time when they had afternoon tea, the table been settled in front of the couch and he sat on the chair, but this time the table been settled beside the bed near the window and Namjoon probably would sit on the chair, so he stayed on the mattress. Well, he was right. A little.
Namjoon took one of the large napkin from the table and approached the pretty guy. What else the man would do if it's not gonna tie Seokjin's hands on the back.
"Is this necessary?" Seokjin couldn't deny that he hated it. Well, who didn't hate to be treated like that.
"Very much necessary." Namjoon answered as he tied the soft hands.
One thing that Seokjin should be ashamed as a person who had been kidnapped was feeling calm as he inhaled the spesific scent of Namjoon, who kidnapped and treated him bad. The mix of bitter orange and pepperwood of Namjoon's perfume that blended with the man's sweat, it's relaxing. But the calm feelings over Namjoon's pheromones only began to happened for the last two weeks. Since the drunk man fell asleep on his bed that night. The calm and relax feelings over Namjoon's pheromones, it didn't happen before that night.
Right after done the tie, Namjoon brushed Seokjin's bangs and put a hairpin there.
"Huh?" Was the only word came from Seokjin's mouth. His sight followed the man as he questioning what more weird surprises would the man do. And he gasped when the man took something from his pocket coat and put it on the table. Turned out to be a small cutter.
Okay the dinner was steak they needed to cut it and they got steak knifes already. But, why in the world Namjoon needed cutter. For having knifes there was frightening enough for Seokjin. And cutter? What for? The calm feelings were gone.
"N-namjoon?"
Namjoon didn't answer. He poured the wine into his glass and took it. He sipped the expensive wine while locked his gaze on Seokjin's beads with cold look.
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A/N:
Sorry not much NamJin interaction here, but the next chapter will be full of them. Thanks for reading.