Graduation had been on his mind and all else that followed concerning life after it. Maybe it wasn't so, but it seemed like a waste of time trying to salvage anything so late into the process and Baekhyun didn't have that time anymore. All he could see was the end, yet the cuts he had made in the destruction of their relationship still bothered him.
Ending his relationship with Kyungsoo felt different. It had ceased all destruction and storms, transitioning into a quiet calm that eventually turned into a platonic friendship. As much as he had hoped for it all to be the same the second time around, Baekhyun couldn't say that it was.
He missed Chanyeol, but even something as simple as friendship felt too out of reach—and Baekhyun wasn't going to chase after it and repeat the cycle over again. Beyond the depths of selfish desires and overwhelming regret, the break up was the one thing he knew was right. It felt right, and it was the only thing that gave him ease.
But how it ended still haunted him.
Seeing Chanyeol at school felt surreal. Watching the giant blend back into his friend group, casually talking to people who seemed genuinely happy around him felt like a reverse of time.
Baekhyun was back to being non-existent.
Music, as always, kept him company, and Baekhyun went on (to the best of his ability) to slowly fade back into the life and routine he had before Chanyeol ever came around, but it wasn't without its difficulties. Baekhyun found ways around the harder moments by focusing his attention on other matters like the future.
Part of him planned for the future as an attempt to run away and erase traces of his existence... but Baekhyun also knew that he needed a new place to begin again. Even if it wasn't with Chanyeol.
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The regional game took place at another high school. It was farther than Baekhyun usually would've liked to travel for something as mundane as a sports event, but Kyungsoo had dropped the hint that Chanyeol wanted him there, despite the fact that the giant asked him to go as well. It meant nothing to him but a show of respect. With the dissipation of time, salvaging their relationship was not possible and neither was fully repenting for all of his regrets for the words he said out of bitterness and anger. And yet Baekhyun wanted to, at the very least, make the gesture. Maybe it was out of the love he still felt but kept locked away—He didn't know (nor did he acknowledge it), but the boundaries were clear, and it was with that clearness that he allowed himself to attend.
However, as hard as he tried to contain the emotions he had attempted to rid for weeks, seeing Chanyeol play basketball again gave Baekhyun a rush of emotions.
He sat at the very top of the bleachers, farthest away from the floor court. Of all the places he had chosen, Baekhyun picked the most obscure area he could find.
Yet, to his surprise, Chanyeol still saw him immediately when the basketball player was called on the court during the second quarter, just before the referee blew the whistle to begin. Their eyes met despite the long distance between them, and Baekhyun could see the latter quietly smile to himself before turning his focus back to the game.
Clenching his jaw, Baekhyun looked back down on the floor.
He was still in love with Park Chanyeol.
Through all the tribulations, at the end of it all, he loved him... Even if he had lied about it just to shove the latter away, it didn't change the facts. It wasn't as though neither one was aware of the underlying feelings that continued to linger between them. Chanyeol respected it enough to stay away, but not before making it clear how much it took him to hold back.
As the second half of the game ended, a short, intermittent break ensued and Baekhyun got up to leave. He had planned to stay the entire time, but the sudden urgency to leave was calling to him... It was something he couldn't shake off easily. If he really wanted to, he would have fought off the feeling, but it was hard enough being there as it was. Despite all the best intentions, plans change for any and all circumstances. That was something Baekhyun couldn't help.
He walked down the steps with calm as to avoid being causing attention being drawn to him, avoiding the urge to draw his eyes away from the floor. Hiding behind the assumption that he was just another face in the crowd, forgettable and quiet, made him feel more at ease with his decision. In that way, the impact of his actions carried no weight on his shoulder.
Yet, as much as he tried to stay in the shadows, he still heard someone calling out to him, slipping his name past their lips like memories fighting against being forgotten.
The parking lot was quiet in comparison to the inside of the school gym. As soon as the heavy doors fell behind him and latched shut, the brief moment of silence before they were pushed open again had its own kind of magic; Almost surreal that silence could exist merely meters away from all the chaos contained inside one large building.
"You're leaving already?"
Baekhyun turned around and smiled apologetically. For a moment, he thought of lying in order to muster up an excuse worth telling, but he ultimately decided against it. "Yeah," he replied. "I'll be heading now."
Chanyeol didn't say anything immediately, but he maintained eye contact before eventually nodding. "Thanks for coming. I'm happy you came, even if it was for a little while."
"You're welcome."
Silence followed as Chanyeol drew his eyes away for a moment. Conflicted expressions were apparent on his face, and Baekhyun wondered what thoughts were running through his mind--unspoken, yet so loud. It took him by surprise when the latter raised his head with strong conviction before asking, "Actually, can you stay? I want you here."
In disbelief, Baekhyun shook his head, laughing underneath his breath. "Don't you have to go back inside?"
"I do, but I'm out here asking you to stay a little longer." Chanyeol's lips thinned into a line. Despite all the adrenaline from the game, he looked nervous. "Stay... I want to go home with you right after."
"But why?"
Chanyeol shrugged. "I miss talking to you, even as just a friend," he said quietly. "I know I'm being a little selfish, but... that's just it. Seeing you the other night made me realize that I just miss hearing your voice and all."
"So you want to ride the bus home together... just so you can hear me talk?"
"Don't make it sound weird. You know what I mean."
Baekhyun rolled his eyes, but he still took three cautious steps closer to the athlete. "Your coach is probably wondering where you are right now. Same with the basketball scouts."
"Yeah, probably." Chanyeol looked back behind him. "But I can hear that the marching band's still playing, so I still have a few minutes left."
Sighing, Baekhyun ran a hand through his hair, contemplating. "I really shouldn't," he said.
"Two more quarters, ten minutes each. Twenty minutes, maybe thirty--at most, but that's only if we go into overtime."
Since that night, all he'd been trying to do was create distance and widening the gap--as if cutting all connections would help soothe the pain of a loss. But the part of him that missed being in the giant's presence persisted, regardless of the repercussions. As long as they both knew where they stood and where the line had been drawn, Baekhyunn eased his shoulders and relented.
"Okay, fine... but if you go into overtime, you better win."
The smile on Chanyeol's face grew as he reached behind him and grabbed hold of the handle. Jerking the door open, he held it off to the side and cocked his head, letting the brunet go before him. "Don't worry. We'll win for you now that my lucky charm's back inside."
"Chanyeol."
"You're right! I'm sorry. I overstepped on that one." The lack of regret in his voice was evident, but neither one commented on it. Chanyeol put a hand on Baekhyun's back, gently guiding him back in the direction of the bleachers before letting go as soon as they were visible to the rest of the crowds. "I'll text you right after, okay? Keep your phone with you."
"Fine. Now go. Your coach looks angry," Baekhyun muttered, nodding over to the fuming man. "Good luck."
"Thanks," Chanyeol said, grinning at him as he began jogging back to his team's side of the court. "I'll see you soon!"
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a/n: hi i feel better now about this story so here i am, we're ready to get back on a roll. the chapters may not be long from now on, but!! at least we'll end up somewhere!
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