I'll try to come after the show. Just text me what time shall I drop by.
He wiped the sweat forming on his forehead. After reading the last message Kuroo has sent him, he wanted to do something to push away the negative feelings at the back of his mind. Tsukishima busied himself with making the pattern for the sketch he drew a few minutes ago. Sewing materials and tracing paper were littered everywhere as he leaned on the large wooden table to continue his work.
Even though they are in a time out, Tsukishima still wante to celebrate their 3rd month together. Maybe Kuroo is just busy with work, that's why he forgot to mention to him about working full time as a model. Maybe Kuroo just forgot what day today is. Maybe Tsukishima just needs to understand. He chewed on his lower lip as he went on and on and on in his train of thoughts.
"He would understand, Tsukki. Because he love you," Yamaguchi's words echoed at the back of his mind.
His heart hurt a bit. But 'a bit' may be an understatement. The feeling he has right now was just how he felt when Akiteru was saying his goodbyes to him. Tsukishima doesn't want Kuroo to leave.
As he finished tracing the sketch, scissors glided easily on it, making the final piece of the pattern complete. Tsukishima moved towards the large cabinets that contained fabrics. He slowly picked out the right colors and type of fabric that he will use for the design. He settled for a white silk fabric that was abstract painted with different colors for the bell bottom pants, and a black fabric for the elegant halter top.
The sketch he made was simple,but the striking colors of the fabrics he chose made it albeit different. His fingers worked their magic into stitching the hems of the pants, before he plopped down in front of the sewing machine. Only the sounds of the machine was heard clicking and ticking on the cold, silent studio he is in.
Hours have passed. Even if his hands are kind of tired and he is out of breath, he continued working. Tsukishima's brows creased as his chest tightened, because of the mixed feelings he's been feeling for quite some time.
A stupid thought came into his mind. What if... the time out in their relationship was Kuroo's way of saying that he doesn't want to be with him anymore? Tsukishima swallowes hard before shakig his head, continuing his work. If that's the case, he wouldn't bother replying to his message, right?
At exactly 5 PM, he finished the clothes. He put it in a mannequin, and stared at it from afar. Not bad, he thought. But none of his clients would be interested in some quick ready made clothes right? He tossed the scissors into the wooden table and it landed with a loud clank.
A bit exhausted, he leaned a bit on the table. He wanted to recover his strength for a while so he could cook dinner for Kuroo later. Tsukishima tiredly cleaned up all of the used fabrics and papers and stored them in a shelf. He now went to his office and gather his things, now that he remembered that if he wanted to cook for Kuroo, he'd have to drop by in the supermarket for ingredients.
It took quite some time to pick which dish he would serve, but he just settled for the dish that he knows how to cook the best, fried rice and karaage. With paper bags in hand, he hailed a taxi to get home.
His phone rang. And on the screen was registered his Mom. Tsukishima's eyes widened, before answering the call. It was a bit surprising for him to have his Mom call at this time, so he is expecting that something may have happened back at home.
"Hello Kei? How are you?" The usual warm and sweet voice of his Mom greeted him. Now he felt homesick after hearing his mother talk.
"I'm fine. How about you?"
"We're fine too. We just want to hear from you since its been a long time," His mother sighed.
"Anyways, we are planning to visit Akiteru soon since its almost...a year..." The sentence was trailed off with a slight pause. "Do you want to come with us?"
Now that he was reminded, he was the one who forgot about something important. His beloved brother's death anniversary is nearing. A hand ran through his face. Tsukishima's eyes looked dead, probably because of the lack of sleep he is been getting.
"I'll...try to finish work if I can. Or maybe you can just...go ahead."
"If that's what you want...Are you feeling fine Kei? You can always tell me everything," His mother asked voice laced with worry.
He cleared his throat and the grip on his phone tightened.
"I'm just having small relationship problems..." Tsukishima trailed because he doesn't know what to say.
"Oh honey...What happened?"
"We just fought over something, its not that much a big deal."
"Even if its not a big deal, the two of yo must work together to solve the problem."
He breathed out air before replying. A quick glance on his watch made him realize that its already 6 PM.
"Yes...I'm currently working on it. I'll call you back soon, Mom."
"Bye sweetie."
The taxi stopped in front of his apartment as soon as the phone call ended. Tsukishima paid for the fare before he hurriedly went in his uni to start preparing.
The karaage was still in the fryer so he decided to text Kuroo. Its already 7:15, maybe his last show is already finished.
Come by at 8. I've cooked dinner for us.
He set the table and even brought out scented candles he owned from the back of the shelves. Seeing that the dinner table is already done, he now went to his bathroom for a quick shower. He felt relaxed as soon as he stepped in the warm water.
A few sprays of expensive perfume, and he was done. Tsukishima is wearing a longsleeved, black turtle neck paired with faded jeans.
He sat in front of the dining table, his phone in his hand. Tsukishima is trying not to think of any negative thoughts and feelings, so he closed his eyes for a while. Suddenly, the memory of their first meeting flashes in his mind.
Its was in the museum. Right before the showing of Akiteru's documentary, he saw Kuroo with Oikawa and Bokuto. Their next meeting was on Oikawa's drinking party, and on that night that was the first time he gave himself to a stranger. Until their date happened, he thought that Kuroo would be the kind of person that he would only encounter for a short time.
A soft exhale escaped from his mouth. He opened his eyes and checked for the time.
8:10 PM.
"Maybe Kuroo got stuck in traffic, that's why he is late," Tsukishima mumbled to himself.
A few more minutes passed, he stood up and opened a bottle of red wine. He poured himself a glass before sipping from it. Tsukishima's fingers glided on the screen of his phone, opening it and started typing a message.
Are you on your way?
Which was sent almost a hour ago. It was now 9:29, the bottle of red wine is already halfway until its finished. Tsukishima could feel his cheeks warm already from the alcohol.
A bad feeling crept up his chest. Hands a bit cold, he stood up to blew the candles out. He shakily removed the plates and utensils he laid out perfectly on the table and placed it back on the cabinets.
He sat weakly on the couch. His brain is already in shambles. Tsukishima felt pathetic. A dry laugh escaped in his mouth, as he realized that maybe Kuroo wanted hin to take the hint already. But he doesn't want to give up. Unless Kuroo didn't say those words from his own mouth.
He dialed Kuroo's number. Tsukishima's heart pounded, before his call got answered. His brrathing was hitched when he heard loud, club music from the other line.
Even though his vision is already blurry from the tears he has been trying to hold back, he swallowed hard before speaking.
"H-Hello? Tetsu? This is Kei," he shakily said.
He heard a fee shuffling noises from the background and a giggle from a woman that came from the other line.
"Ah hello? Is this the Tsukishima Kei-san?"
"Yes, who is this? Why do you have Tetsurou's phone?" His brows creased.
Another giggle came from the other line as if she is trying not to laugh.
"Tsukishima-san, he is too drunk right now to answer his phone, do you have any message for him?"
He heard his own heart breaking into a million pieces. Kuroo went out drinking instead of having dinner with him and celebrating their 3rd month together. He can't believe it.
"Can you just please pass the phone to him? I'd like to talk to him please," he coldly said.
Not only Kuroo decided to ditch him, he lends his phone to someone else?Tsukishima now felt the bubbling anger on the pit of his stomach.
On the background, he heard a familiar groan. Kuroo is really there! Tsukishima heard an unintelligible mumble from him, causing the woman over the phone giggle once more.
"I'm sorry, Tsukishima-san. He says that he doesn't want to speak to you anymore. Please stop calling him. I'll take care of him for a while, so don't worry."
"Just give the phone to him!" He desperately said, but the phone call ended. His jaw dropped. He could not believe this at all.
If Kuroo wanted out in this relationship already, he should just tell him days before their special day. But Tsukishima was dumb, maybe Kuroo was just hinting him that the cool off means they should break up. Why did Tsukishima not realize it at all?
He slumped on his couch. He doesn't care anymore if the tears are starting to overflood in his eyes. Ugly sobs escaped from his lips. His heart hurt so bad. The pain was excruciating. Tsukishima just wanted to scream everything to the heavens, about his heavy heart.
The last thing he was doing before he fell asleep was staring at the rings on his right hand. The gold ring and the promise glinted, and it felt tight on his fingers.
Tsukishima woke up with a dry throat. His eyes felt a bit hard to open, probably because of crying the whole night. He doesn't want to check his phone, because memories of last night might just make him cry.
He went to his fridge and got himself a cold glass of water. It felt good as it passed through his throat. His hands were placed on the counter and his eyes caught the rings once more.
Hours ago, he was still in his apartment. But now he doesn't know what he is actually doing in front of Kuroo's place. This was actually the first time he's been here, because Kuroo never took him here. The gold number 1390 stared back at Tsukishima as he stood in front of the door.
"Are you a visitor?" A voice behind him said.
Tsukishima tiredly looked behind him, only find a short stature of a man looking at him directly. Light brown hair, and fair skin, his eyes held the curiousity of a cat.
"Oh, I'm Yaku. I live nearby." he extended his hand as he introduced himself.
"Tsukishima." he blandly replied and accepted the handshake.
"Are you Kenma's friend? Or Kuroo's? Sorry to tell you but Kuroo hasn't been here for quite sometime. He still has this modelling stuff going on you know."
A sudden pang made him jolt inside. He tiredly tilted his head.
"I'm here for Kenma."
Yaku nodded, his eyes traveled all over his body before letting out a smile.
"I think he is still sleeping, but we can try." Yaku moved in front of him so he could press the doorbell.
"Ah, no. He is expecting me."
Yaku looked back at him with wonder. Maybe the man is trying to hold back himself from asking questions, so he just turned his gaze away from Tsukishima.
The door slightly opened, revealing a man with dyed hair. Tsukishima nodded at him, and Kenma only stared at him with his cat like eyes.
"Come in." Kenma's small voice said before swinging the door widely to let the visitors inside.
As soon as Tsukishima entered the condominium, Kuroo's scent rushed into his nostrils filling his head with thoughts of him. His reflex made his hand swing up to cover his nose but midway he stopped, and it made Yaku crease his forehead.
They walked until they reach the livin room. White blankets were messily scattered over the mattress on the floor, indicating someone has been stayig there for quite sometime.
What bothered Tsukishima was the aura of the place. It definitely screamed Kuroo's presence everything. The earthly musk, the motif of the place, and his eyes traveled into the shelves where it has frames with Kuroo's face.
"I would like to speak to Kenma-san privately." Tsukishima voiced out his thoughts, which made the two people in front of him whip their heads back to him.
Yaku nodded. "I'll stay in Kenma's room for a while."
It was only the two of them left in the living room. Tsukishima's eyed traveled all throughout the place, before he inhaled.
"Come here, Tsukishima-san."
A soft voice called his attention. It was Kenma, who was standing a few feet away from him, near a dark wooden dining table.
Tsukishima nodded, and went towards the seat and pulled it out before he sat down. Kenma did the same, but his eyes were fixed at him the whole time.
They didn't speak for almost a minute. Tsukishima's eyes were only fixed on the dark brown varnish of the table, and his mind was trying to compose everything what he has to say.
"Tsukishima-san, I know what happened." Kenma was the first one to broke the silence.
In an instant, Tsukishima felt like his vision was clouded. He mustered up a small smirk, before replying.
"Pathetic, right?" Tsukishima laughed softly. He wanted to add something but he could not find the right words to it.
Kenma's eyes stared at him like he could he through his soul. Tsukishima evaded his gaze and lowered down his eyes.
"Maybe I was just too dumb not to realize that he wanted to leave," Tsukishima started. Kenma's attention suddenly perked up.
"I know that I lied to him. But its just one fight..." Tsukishima paused, trying not to sound like he was about to cry. "One fight...and he wanted to leave already. I thought he'd be better than this."
Kenma's brows met. He looked a bit confused but he listened. Tsukishima's left hand rested on the table while his right hand was in his jacket's pocket, clenched into a fist.
"I...know that I'm not perfect...but I thought he could understand." Tsukishima's voice cracked. "He said he didn't want to see me anymore."
The crease on Kenma's forehead deepened. "But that's what not Kuroo said to me." Kenma said, confused.
Tsukishima smiled bitterly. His hands were shaking, as he lifted his right hand from his jacket's pocket. Kenma saw the ring, and stared at it before he looked back at him.
His heart tightened as he removed the first ring. Memories of their first date flashed, along with the words Kuroo said.
"This ring is a sign of my promised love for you."
"Tsukishima-san what are you doing?" Kenma worriedly said, but it sounded distorted from his perspective.
His fingers were shaking when he was about to remove the gold ring. He replayed everything in his head. All of their dates, the night rides, the hugs and kisses. He closed his eyes, as he tried to remember everything, for the last time.
"Next time, It'll rest in your left ring finger."
Tears rolled down from his eyes and cheeks. Tsukishima tried to swallow the pain back, but it ended up spreading all over his system. His cold hands placed the rings down on the table and slid it across the table in front Kenma.
"Tsukishima-san why-"
"Please tell Kuroo it was a fun ride while it lasted."
Tsukishima immediately stood up and walked towards the door, but he stopped his own tracks. He looked back at a confused and worried Kenma who followed him, with the rings on the table far from them.
"Also tell him that I'm thankful. I really am. Even if its just for a short time...I really found myself loving him."
Tsukishima smiled bitterly, with fresh tears on his face as he left the place, where everything reminded him of Kuroo Tetsurou, alongside with his feelings, for the one man he had truly loved.