October 14, 1999
Arique
"Leave me the fuck alone bro." Psych keeps poking me in the face with his dirty Dorito fingers. "You are annoyin' as fuck man." I groan in frustration.
"Shut the fuck up. You love me." He smiles.
"I don't understand why yo' ass is eatin' in my livin' room any damn way." I cross my arms and eye him.
"'Cause I can bitch." He licks the dust from the chips off of his fingers. "It ain't like I'm makin' a mess and gettin' shit everywhere." He says around his chewing.
"I know yo' ass bet not touch my face no damn mo' after you done sucked on yo' fingers bitch." I mug him.
"I licked my fingers. I leave the suckin' to yo' freak ass."
"Whateva'." I roll my eyes. "I jus' know you bet no- BITCH!" I slapped the shit out of him. Now there is a red handprint on his face. I run to my room to get a q tip out of my bathroom, so I can get his nasty saliva out of my ear. I use about three. My ear is definitely dry, but I feel like I can still feel his nasty spitty finger in my ear.
I walk back to the living room to see him laughing. "That's why my hand is across yo' face. Bitch." I mumble the last word.
"Ahh." He's still laughing his ass off. "I wish you could see yo' face tho." Then he back hands my chest leaving a sting in it's wake. "Don't be hittin' on me tho, lil Arique." He gets serious for a second to tell me.
"Whatever you heavy handed bitch." I mush his head as hard as I can. "You deserved that shit fa' puttin' yo nasty ass saliva fingers in my ear." I mug him. Do I look like a fucking comedian to him? "You stay laughin' at bullshit bro." I shake my head at him.
"You welcome." He smiles at me.
"I'an said thank you either." I look at him like he weird.
"You didn't have to. I'm the highlight of peoples day whenever they arahn' me. A gift really."
The worse part about what he just said, is that his face is completely serious. He really believes the bullshit he spewed out of his mouth.
"Shut the fuck up, D. Why the fuck is you here any-damn-way?"
"You need to chill wit' all dat motha fuckin' cussin' n shit. I'ma christian man."
"D." I exhale harshly. He really is the annoying brother that I'm glad I didn't grow up with. "Why.are.you.here?" I ask him slowly in hopes he'll give me an answer.
"Oh me?" He asks me with his hand on his chest. I just blink at him with a straight face. "Well my baby mama don't get off for another two hours, so I'm chillin' here til she does."
"Please tell me my mama not pregnant." I start to rub my temples.
"Naw." He laughs. "Not yet anyway, we workin' on it though."
"Naw bro. Y'all needa be usin' condoms. I don't wanna be twenty five years older than my brother or sister, that ship has sailed. Furthermore, YOU ARE MY AGE! I don't understand why my mama would fuck around wit'chu anyway." I shake my head.
"Is it 'cause I'm white?" He asks me seriously.
"NO MUH FUCKA! It's 'cause you the same age as her ONLY child."
"Well, gimme a year, tops, and you won't be the only child."
"Please jus' strap up. I don't want my mama havin' babies this late in life." I plead with him, exasperation evident in my tone.
"Ew. People actually use condoms?" He looks serious, I hope he's joking though. I still have a hard time trying to tell the difference between when he's playing and when he's serious.
"Bye, Psych." I get up off my couch and go to my room.
"Nooo, lil Arique. Where you goin'? I thought we was bonding bro."
"Bitch you didn't even give me a legit reason as to why you're here so leave me the fuck alone!" I yell back to him and close my room door. "Finally I'm in peace." I flop down on my bed face first and hug one of my pillows.
It's so quiet that I start to think he left. Until I hear him banging a beat on my room door. "Man hol'up, syrup in my cup, I know I'm on parole, but I jus' don't give a fuck, man I'm finna swerve, I only smoke superb, wit' my lil bro Arique and I'm on his damn nerve. Haan!" He hypes his little weak ass freestyle up himself. I flip over on my back and punch the air in frustration.
"WHAT?!" I open my room door, that he never stopped beating on.
"Damn you foamin' at the mouth bro. What the pro'lem is?" Psych is very fucking irritating bro. I swear I'm ready to leave him in this bitch by himself.
Matta' fact.
I throw on some socks and shoes, I already have on some basketball shorts and a wife beater. I grab my keys, wallet and phone and walk towards the front door. "Lock up when you leave, Psych." I tell him, over this whole situation right now.
"Whe'e you finna go bro?" He laughs. He's always fucking laughing! I turn around when I get to the front door.
"Crazy, 'cause you finna take me there." I turn back towards the door and unlock the locks. I open the door to walk out, but Delontae is standing on the other side blocking my exit. I've been expecting him since we've been talking everyday, and we planned to chill on my off day. But now I'm irritated, more than normal because I haven't eaten, so the excitement to see him is missing.
I try to walk around him, but he grabs me by my waist. When I try to say something to him he stops me because he's on his phone. "Aight, I can ask my gal to make'em for you but I need to know if you want cookies or cakes for the party....you want three cakes?...yeah I got'chu....aight...what time is the party?...aight I'll have her drop them off to you...aight. Later." He finally hangs up the phone.
"Get'cho brother outta my crib please." I look up at him. Both of his arms around my waist, now backing me into the house and closing the door behind him.
"You don't want me to leave fa' real, lil Arique." I look over, at the only person that always adds "lil" in front of everybody's name, to see him smiling.
"Stop talkin' ta me foo'." I roll my eyes at him. Delontae bends down to softly peck my lips.
"What's wrong, lil daddy?"
"He gave me a wet willy and he won't leave me alone." I unintentionally whine, looking up at him.
"That's a damn shame," I look over to Psych again to see him shaking his head. "Got that grown ass man actin' like a damn child, Smutt." He munches on my strawberry shortcake rolls.
"Hi pot, I'm kettle." I smile at him sarcastically. "You the last person that need to be sayin' anybody actin' like a child, wit'cho childish ass." I pull from Delontae's embrace. "Furthermore, nobody told yo' ass to be all in my kitchen eatin' up all my shit!" I snatch the box out of his hand. "I'ma start chargin' yo' bla-my bad, lily white ass at the do' every time you come over fa' pain and sufferin'."
"You act like I get on yo' nerves or some'mn, lil Arique."
"I can promise you it's not a damn act, D. You get on my last nerve."
"Furthermore," he mocks me. "Yeah right." He rolls his eyes like he just can't believe that's something he's capable of doing. "I could never get on anybody's nerves. Er'body need some Psycho in they life." Of course he doesn't think he's capable of getting on someone's nerves.
"I'm out. I'm not finna keep doin' this wit'chu." I tell him. Delontae grabs me by my waist again, this time bringing my back to his front.
"Chill baby." He chuckles in my ear. "He gon' be leavin' soon anyway." I look up at him and he shoots me a wink. We go over to the couch and he pulls me on his lap. Well this is new for me. "If you were white, your face would be red right now." He whispers in my ear, making me shiver a little bit.
"I'an ever sat in a nigga's lap before." I whisper back to him.
He laughs like I told him a joke. "Bullshit." He says in his normal tone.
"I'm fa' real. Corey ain't ever do no shit like this. We was basically like homeboys that fucked all the time."
"Y'all do realize I'm still sittin' here right?" Psych asks with his brow raised.
"Hol'up." I start looking around. I lift up off Delontae's lap and look under the couch, behind the TV. Lifting up stuff on my table to look under there. I know damn well...
"What'chu lookin' for bro?" Psych asks.
"The fuck I was s'posed to give." I kick off my shoes and sit back down on Delontae's lap.
"Why you so damn extra, baby?" Delontae asks me quietly, putting his face in the crook of my neck. I fight off the shiver that wanted to run down my spine, and shrug my shoulders.
"Why he like to fuck wit' me?" I turn my head to look down at him.
"'Cause you let him."
"Well I tried ignoring him, but the bastard started fuckin' wit' me even more."
"I'm right the fuck here bro." I look to Psych to see he has a straight face. "Stop talm'baht me like I'm a nuisance."
But hol'em up.
"I could've sworn when we first met you said 'they can't hol' a real nuisance'" I do my best to mock his voice.
"I can talk shit abaht myself all I want." He snatches the strawberry shortcake rolls from the table. "Y'all muh fucka's can't." He opens one up and shoves the whole thing in his mouth.
"What the f-"
"Let that man make it." Delontae interrupts our argument to whisper in my ear. "I'm finna help you aht."
"How?" I whisper back. All I got in response was a damn wink. Delontae starts to rub my waist under my shirt.
"I'm tryna eat though, baby." He says in a sexy tone, following up with kisses on my neck.
It feels good so I bite my lip to stifle a moan, "what'chu wanna eat?"
"You," he licks from my neck to my spot behind my ear. I'm unable to stop my moan this time.
"I know damn well-" I tune out the rest of whatever Psych was finna say.
"But your brother is still here." I say in a breathy tone.
He turns me around on him so I'm straddling his lap. "The only fuck I have at the moment is for you." He kisses me deeply, and I begin to grind into him. He groans and I moan as we make out heavily.
"Nasty, disrespectful muh fucka's." I hear my door slam shut.
"Mm," I pull away from him, he moves down my neck. "We can stop nih, daddy." I moan loudly when he starts to caress my ass while simultaneously licking and sucking on my neck.
"Stop fa' what?" He says between his licking and sucking on me.
"Darrin left," my eyes are closed and my head is thrown back in bliss.
"More reason to keep goin' then." He stands us up and puts me against the wall by my door. I hear all of the locks click when I go back to kissing him.
"You ready?" He pulls away from kissing me to ask.
I answer his question by kissing him again. When he stuck his tongue in my mouth, I start sucking on it sensually like it was the appendage between his legs.
He carries me to my bedroom, our kiss still hot and heavy. When we make it to my room, I'm thrown on my bed. "Take all'at shit off." He tells me, his voice thick in lust. I just obey the command and start to strip.
"You jus' gon' stand and watch me, or you gon' strip too?" I smirk at him. He matches my enthusiasm, smirking while stripping out of his clothes.
Delontae climbs in between my legs on the bed, and attempts to stick his dick in. "Wait baby, it's not like a pussy. You can't jus' throw yo' dick in me like that." I giggle a little at his eagerness.
"Well you gon' have to walk me through this. I'an ever made it this far wit' a nigga." I kiss him in hopes of comforting him so he won't feel embarrassed.
"I need to get something out my nightstand drawer." I peck his lips softly. When he raises up, I sling my body to the right so that I can grab the lube I have. Once I have it, I decide to put on a little show for him.
After I've propped a pillow under me, I squirt some of the lube from the bottle on the middle and ring finger of my right hand. After making sure that the digits are coated generously in the lube, I look into his face and slowly start to push my middle finger inside of myself.
I relax my ass, still watching him watch me. I slowly pump my middle finger in and out of my tightness. Once I'm comfortable with the one, I add my ring finger in. Starting off at a slow teasing pace, before I quicken it, just a little. He groans watching me fuck myself with my fingers. "Get some of the lube, and cover your whole dick with it." I tell him just above a whisper.
Delontae squeezes a generous amount of lube into the palm of his right hand, in advance to him stroking his thick, curved dick. "You tight fa' me, lil daddy?" He asks, voice sounding as good as sex itself.
"Yes, daddy." I moan as my eyes dip down to watch him stroke himself. "Yo' dick is so big though, daddy. I don't know if it'll fit." I whisper seductively, the in and out movement of my fingers picking up in pace. My words trigger another groan from him.
"Move." He smacks at the hand I'm using to please myself with. "Lemme see." He says lowly, removing his right hand from his dick. Delontae pushes the index finger, of his right hand, into my ass. Then he adds his middle finger, slowly pushing his fingers into me. "Damn. This ass is tight." He simultaneously strokes his dick with his left hand, and pumps the digits of his right, inside of me.
"You gon' be able to take this dick, lil daddy?" Delontae looks up from his fingers working inside of me to see my face.
"Yes, daddy." He groans and brings his face toward mine for a searing kiss. I feel him work a third finger into me, making me wiggle around a little from slight discomfort.
"Stop movin'. I gotta try to stretch you open a little bit." He whispers right before he licks at the sweet spot behind my ear. I moan out loud at the feel of him curving his fingers upward, gently massaging my prostate. "Thats yo' spot huh?" He picks his head up smirking at me.
I nod my head with my mouth hung open. "Yes." I'm barely able to say. He spreads the three fingers that are inside of me. It's a little uncomfortable but not unbearable. He leans back to look at his fingers spread me open.
"You feel like you ready?" He looks me in my eyes.
I nod my head, "yes, but go slow."
"I got'chu." He slowly removes his fingers.
He honors my wishes by pushing the tip of his dick in slowly. I take shallow breathes, then realize that isn't helping, as he pushes in more. So I slow down my breathing, and do my best to relax. Why do people like dicks this big? "Wait. Gimme a minute." I tell him, so I have a little time to adjust to the baby leg he's trying to stuff inside of me.
"You good?" He gently kisses my shoulder blade, and makes his way up my neck. I nod my head, and look down to see how much he's worked into me. Only the head?! Lawd! Why he shiver like he the one takin' a big dick?!
"Why yo' dick so damn big." I say as more of a statement. "I'on think I can take all of it." I whine looking into his eyes.
"I told you I got'chu." He kisses my lips. "I won't go too deep, aight?" He looks into my eyes, I guess to make sure that I'm okay with what he's saying to me.
"Okay." He stuffs some more into me, taking my breath away as he does so. "Oh my god." I look down to see half of it in me.
"I got'chu, baby." He kisses me tenderly on the lips. "You doin' good." He pulls back until just his tip is resting in my tight confines. Then slowly pushes half of it back in. "Breathe, Arique."
I didn't even realize I wasn't breathing. I let out a shaky breath. He said he was gon' take it easy Arique. Just relax. I coach myself in my head. He stays still inside of me for a little while, kissing and sucking on my neck, trailing his tongue behind my ear.
I arch my back and let a sinful sound leave my mouth, at his left hand grazing the erogenous zone along my pubic area. Coupled with the one he is licking at behind my ear, I feel more relaxed and eager for his stroke now.
I start to wind my hips below him, giving me a good feeling of what it'll possibly be like when he does start to stroke. "Damn hol'up." He shivers and I can see the goosebumps starting to form along his arms. "I feel like I'm 'baht ta' buss already." He chuckles out.
"You playin' right?" My attitude is making a small appearance now.
"Chill, Arique. Yo' shit got a vice grip on my dick right nih. Feel like a damn virgin." He kisses my lips again. I roll my eyes but kiss him back anyway. I'm trying not to blush on the cool from the compliment.
"If anybody feels loose to you then there is a problem. Yo' dick too damn big fa' all'at."
He laughs like I told him a joke. "I'm not finna have a conversation wit'chu abaht nobody else, when I'm inside of the best thang my dick has ever been in." I want to tell myself that he's gaming me so he can continue to fuck, but the sincerity in his eyes tells me that he is being completely honest.
"Okay." I kiss him slowly. "If you buss quick then I'll jus' think I'm the baddest muh fucka in Houston." I laugh.
"You is." He kisses my lips. "After me though." He smirks cockily.
"Nig-" I'm cut off by him stroking me a little deeper than before, but at the same slow pace. "Shit!" I exclaim as my eyes buck open in surprise.
Delontae keeps a slow steady rhythm that feels immaculate. I've never been fucked slow, the pace leaving me a complete moaning mess beneath him. "More, daddy." I surprise myself when it leaves my mouth.
He slides in deeper making me gasp again, he is literally taking my breath away. We start making out again, all the while his strokes are still slow, deep, and steady.
"Oh my god!" I break away from kissing him to scream a moan when he angles his hips differently.
"It's right there ain't it." He angles his head to hit my spot again.
"Yes!" I start to match his thrusts. A wet, smacking sound is now starting to sound throughout the room along with my moans. "Shit, daddy!" I moan aloud with my face scrunched up in pleasure.
He lifts up a little to look down at his dick going in and out. "Damn nigga, you creamin' on my shit." My dick jumps, I look down to see what he is talking about. When he pulls his hips back, I can see his dick covered in a white, creamy looking substance.
"Oh my god!" I throw my head back and fuck up on his dick faster, and harder.
He begins to pick up his strokes to match mine. This nigga is in my stomach. I think to myself feeling him go deeper. Now there is squelching, moaning, groaning, and skin slapping sounds throughout the room.
"You takin' this dick good, lil daddy." He groans afterward. "Daddy hittin' it good ain't he?"
"Oh my god!" Is all I can say.
"I'an god, but I know this dick is heavenly." If his stroke wasn't on point, I would've laughed at that corny shit.
"Yes! Please! Please!" My eyes are watering.
"Please what, lil daddy?" I don't even know why I was saying please.
"Please, Delontae!"
"Mhm, I know't. That ass suckin' me in nih."
He lifts up to sit on his knees in between my legs. He spreads my legs and holds them open by the thigh. This nigga starts to go hard in my shit.
He is fucking me entirely too good right now, so much so, that I can't speak. "Hell yeah, nigga. Hook done caught that ass!" He exclaims, slapping where my ass and back of my thigh meet, with his right hand. "Got'chu makin' a mess dahn here."
"Augh!" I holler my moan out. "Oh my god this dick is so good!" I look into his eyes.
"Aw yeah?" He bites his lip, still hammering his hips at the right angle.
"Yes, daddy." I come up on my hands, that are now behind me, and fuck him back even harder. Delontae still holds my legs, spread eagle, and we're meeting each others thrusts with the same force.
"Yeah, throw me that good ass, baby." He tells me slapping my thigh.
"Oouu, shit!" I yell out. "I'ma cum, daddy!" I throw my left arm around his neck.
"Lemme see that dick spit then." He works his hips faster in their back and forth motion, his head bent down watching as my dick slaps against my abdomen.
"Augh!" I shoot six ropes of cum prompted by him rubbing on my pubic area with his right hand. It lands on both of our chest and drips down. Some even shot on my chin.
"Hell yeah, baby. I can bust in you?" I answer his question with a nod, tightening my ass around his shaft. "Shiiiitttttttt." He grits his teeth, I trace patterns with my tongue from the side, to the front of his neck. His hips stuttering as I feel his warm essence fill me up even more.
He falls down on top of me. "Got damn I needed that, baby." He kisses me gently.
"Me too, daddy. But can you get up? My arm is tinglin'." When he fell on me, I still had one arm behind me to hold me up.
Delontae raises up some, "I'm sorry." He looks at me after he gets up and licks where my cum landed on my chin, "mm," he groans. He proceeds to trail his tongue up towards my lips and sucks on my bottom one. "You know dis shit mine nih, right?" He smiles at me, with a firm grip on my ass.
Not that he gave me a chance to answer him, because he bends down to kiss me some more. Tongues clashing together sexily. I feel him stiffen up inside of me again.
"Round two?" He smirks, slowly stroking me.
"Round two."
I'm not gon' be able to walk fa' real.
***********
"I still don't believe you've never sat in a nigga's lap before." Delontae says to me as we soak in the tub together. My back is laying against his chest.
I had to be carried to the bathroom after our fourth round. This nigga's stamina is other worldly. I don't think I would be able to take dick like his every day.
"Why is that hard to believe?" I ask him with my face scrunched up.
"You said you and dude was together since you was thirteen or fourteen?"
"Fourteen?" I say it as a question because I'm trying to figure out what that has to do with anything.
"So this thirty five year old-"
"Twenty three, Delontae."
"So this nigga that was too old to be fuckin' on a fourteen year old," he gives me look that tells me he wants me to say something smart so he can check it. "Never sat you in his lap?"
"Never." I tell him honestly.
"Uh huh. And what about this other nigga you said you fooled around wit'?"
"He was my cellie when I was locked up." I shrug my shoulders.
"Okay... you never sat in the nigga's lap?"
"No. Believe it or not, I was the top in that situation."
He looks at me funny, "top?"
"What you are to me when we have sex." I try to make the answer as simple as possible.
I swear I can see the exact moment he gets what I'm saying. Soon after he frowns up. "Yo' lil ass was toppin' somebody?" I can hear the laughter in his tone of voice. "What, was the nigga a midget or some shit?" This time he actually laughs aloud.
"No, he wasn't a midget." I laugh with him. "He was actually taller than Josh."
"Yeah fuckin' right!" He exclaims unbelievably. "Ain't no fuckin' way yo' barely average height ass was toppin' a nigga that was six foot some'mn. I know Josh is six three, so you can't pay me to believe you was fuckin' a nigga bigger than him."
"I don't have to lie on my dick either. What would I get out of lyin', sayin' another nigga was takin' my pipe if he wasn't?"
"I'on know, to seem more manly or somethin'." He shrugs his shoulders.
"My nigga, you jus' had me folded in half, creamin' on yo' dick. If I was worried abaht lookin' more 'manly'," I use air quotes, "I wouldn't have let'chu fuck to begin with."
"I guess lil nigga." He kisses the back of my head. "How did that shit come about?"
"Well," I exhale deeply. "It was pretty much a mutual attraction or whatever. Not the 'oou, I wanna be wit'chu' type, but more of the 'I'd fuck him' type. So, we was jus' bone buddies." I shrug.
"So the nigga asked you to fuck him?"
Well...
"Kind of. Not at first. I've only been on the receiving end when fucking a dude, so when he approached me on some look out for each other type shit, thats how it started out."
"So what changed the dynamics?" He looks confused by what I just said.
"The nigga was fuckin' me wit' gummy worm dick." He started roaring in laughter. One of those laughs where you have to catch your breath a few times, and as soon as the person telling the story goes to talk again you go, "wait! Wait!" While still laughing.
I don't understand what was so funny about the shit, but hey, whatever tickles his peach. "Ahh!" He wipes the tears that come from his eyes from him laughing so hard. "Gummy worm dick?!" He starts cracking up some more. "Okay, okay. Whew." He wipes at his eyes for a final time. "Go 'head and finish."
"Anyway, so his dick wouldn't always get fully hard, and I thought that was normal for him. One day, he was layin' dahn in his bunk while I gave him head."
"I'an tryna hear dat shit." Delontae shakes his head.
Jus' like a nigga. I swear.
"Anyway, long story short, I played wit' his booty hole and his dick was harder than trigonometry." I finish the story.
He laughs, not lightly, but not as heartily as he did with the "gummy worm dick."
"So you turnt his ass aht?" He asks me still chuckling.
"Eh, not really. I never asked that man to do a bitch ass thang. He always approached me wit' shit. At first, the nigga tried to act harder than what he was and called himself tryna show aht. But when I cut him off that shit changed quick."
"You stopped fuckin' him?" He seems perplexed by the whole thing.
"For two and a half weeks."
"So what, did the nigga start beggin' and shit or what?"
"Naw. He apologized after week one, week two he'd go outta his way to be nice to me, three days after the two week mark, he sat on my dick while I was sleep."
"Damn, so yo' dick is as lethal as yo' ass?" He bites his lip at me.
"I don't brag on shit. I show and let'chu be the judge." I answer him humbly. "Why? You tryna lemme fuck?" I can't lie, the thought of it makes my dick twitch in want.
"Chill." He laughs out. "I'on think I'm that gay yet. I mean when you licked my parkin' space, I was no mo' good." He admits.
It's my turn to cackle in laughter, "parkin' space?!" I ask is disbelief.
"Yuh. What muh fuckas call it? The taint?" I can only nod my head as I'm still laughing at him. "Well when you licked that shit I started to change my name to SWV 'cause it had me weak."
"Oh shit!" I laugh at him some more. "You so damn corny."
"You like it, so I ain't fucked up abaht it." He kisses my head.
"You're so full of yourself." I playfully scoff and roll my eyes.
"So are you, but I ain't heard no complaints from you about that." He shrugs his shoulders.
He makes me sick. I just roll my eyes and elect not to respond to him.
"Mhm. Hush mode." He laughs at himself, while I roll my eyes. "Anyway, so moral of the story is, you and cellie was fuck buddies?" I nod answering the question. "So were you and Courtney huh?"
Childish.
"His name is Corey, and we were kinda together."
"From what I've gathered y'all were fuck buddies."
"It was a little deeper than that. We were homeboys, real close friends."
"Let me ask you somethin' right quick to see what I'm not gettin'." He states as he sits up in the tub a little, forcing me to follow suite.
"Y'all ever cuddle?" He starts his list of questions.
"No. He tho-"
"Aht, I'an ask for an explanation. Jus' answer the question." I roll my eyes at him.
"No."
"Y'all kiss often?"
"Whenev-"
"What I said earlier?" He checks me.
I let out a frustrated breath, "no." I snip out.
"He buy you whatever you ask for?" I was about to answer before he adds on to it. "Without you havin' to do any favors in return or beforehand?"
"...no."
"He ask about yo' goals or aspirations?"
"No."
"He knew all yo' struggles?"
"Yes." I'm finally able to say.
"You pickin' up what I'm puttin' dahn?"
"Sort of." I reply honestly. "But that still is a little more than fuck buddies."
"You right, so it's somewhere between a fuck buddy and a pimp." Well damn. That made me feel a little fucked up.
I mean, I get where he's coming from. Hell, I already knew after a while that Corey wasn't shit. I just figured it out when it was too late.
"I'ma give you some free game," I turn around and straddle his lap. "I'm sure you know this, but don't know how to apply it."
"You gon' get to the point anytime soon?" I ask sarcastically.
"Cool it." He kisses my forehead. "Actions speak louder than words."
"Every-damn-body knows the sayin'. Hell, Geto Boyz titled a song that." I get irritated at him.
Not necessarily at him, but the situation. Kind of. Like when you know you wrong, but for somebody to point out why its wrong and the fact that its wrong, pisses you off. Because your first mind tells you not to do it, because you know it's wrong, but your heart tells you to do it anyway. But you're left feeling stupid because you already knew, and then for somebody else to point it out, makes it worse.
Maybe it's just me.
"I know that's my shit too. Especially Willie D's verse." I look at him flatly. "Like I was sayin' though. He had you, for lack of a better word, trained. He would tell you everything you wanted to hear, had you believin' bullshit, and pretty much doin' the bare minimum to back it up. Like, he was prolly sayin' shit like I love you, you my world or some sap shit while y'all was fuckin'. Nigga could fuck good, so he was only showin' you that side while fuckin', so it felt real to you. But when it came down to outside fights or something with other people you had to hold yo' own.
When you'd ask him why he wasn't doin' this, or y'all wasn't doin' that, the lie he fed you tasted good. Keepin' you arahn' by the hold of him bein' yo' first, so you don't really have shit to compare it to. Tellin' you just enough to keep you loyal to him. Prolly acted jealous when you smiled at another nigga for too long.
Maybe he was really jealous, but not in the sense that makes it love. He didn't want anyone to get in your way so you wouldn't lose focus on him. Everything revolves around him and whats best for him right." I absentmindedly nod my head. I know he's not asking a question, but I can't help but to nod my head anyway.
"I'm sure the nigga cheated and shit, but would say shit like 'i only love you though, them other hoes was just a nut'. Prolly turned the shit around on you and was like 'you was too busy fa' me.' Especially wit' you bein' as young as you was. You had school, curfew and some mo' shit that kept y'all from bein' together twenty fo' seven." I nod, letting him know that he is right in his assumptions.
"When you would ask for a ride, or money, or something to eat, hell anything it was 'what'chu gon' do fa' me?' Never really gave you anything just 'cause, or out of the kindness of his heart."
"He told me if a man don't work he don't eat." I shrug my shoulders and look down. I'm embarrassed. The fact that he knows this stuff without even being there shows my level of stupidity.
"Naw, don't do that." He lifts my head by my chin. "You too handsome to be lookin' gloomy." I give a small smile and he kisses my nose. "He vic'd you, that don't mean you're the one to blame for it either. They call that shit primping, or polishing or somethin' like that. They go after people young in age, mind in some cases. It creates this false sense of love. You get what I'm sayin'?"
"Elaborate so I'm sure." I tell him. I think I know what he's getting at, but I want to see where his head is.
"Say we together right?"
"Okay..?"
"So you walk in on me fuckin' another person right?"
"Uh huh..?"
"And while I'm still steadily strokin' them, I'm lookin' you in yo' face sayin' 'i only want you baby, you the only person my dick get hard fa'."
"What?" I scrunch my face up.
"Exactly. Then when I'm done, I go to say some shit like 'you know I won't do nothin' to hurt you, baby. I had to fuck them so they would stick around to do the dummy shit so you won't have to. Cause I love you and I don't want you caught up in no shit.' So the image of love that I'm painting for you is distorted. You think that whoever is next is going to be like that to some extent. You think love is supposed to hurt. So when I, or whomever else, hurts you, you relate it to being love."
"That makes sense." I say lowly.
"It's easier to do to someone that is young and, or naive. If you don't know any better, you'll accept shit like that."
"Damn. Somethin' like that happen to you? Or are you the type to vic people?" I am a little on the fence. He giving me free game for what? To backdoor and run it on me? I need to know.
"I'm the last of a dyin' breed, baby. The only time I lie is to keep me out of jail. When I cheat on ya' cousin and she asks me about it?" He raises a brow and asks to make sure I'm following. I nod my head. "I always tell her the truth. I don't have to lie to kick it. I damn sure don't fake the funk fa' nobody. If you don't like me, thats a personal problem. But I'an finna switch up or start sweet dickin' to make nobody fuck with me either." He finishes by shrugging his shoulders.
"Well, this went a little deeper than what I expected." I lay my head on his shoulder, still straddling him. "Thank you."
"Well what can I say, my head and ham go the same lengths. Deep." He smirks down at me.
"You are a fuckin' foo'." I laugh at him.
"Nah but fa' real. I-"
"I know you a man of your word, Delontae. You've shown me more than a lil bit that you are. Every time I think you some bullshit or runnin' game you show me different." I let him know I trust him. "Why me though?"
"I don't fuckin' know. I know I follow my first mind, especially when it matches my gut." He kisses my cheek. The fact that I didn't have to specify my question. "You be makin' a nigga stomach hurt, in a good way, so I'm fuckin' wit' it." He kisses my lips this time.
"Can you keep yo' damn mouth off'a me. I mean gah damn! Stay kissin' on me." I fake gripe. I just want to lighten the mood a little bit. Conversation got too deep for me.
"I was gon' toss some salad when we got aht." He shrugs his shoulders and my mouth falls open in surprise. "Guess you saved me the embarrassment since I'an never done no shit like that before. So thank you." He cheeses at me.
"I was playin', baby dang." I kiss his lips repeatedly until he finally kisses me back.
"Mhm."
He did tell me to prepare for a long night.
*********
So....wasn't sure how to end this....if it sucks....eh..🤷🏾♀️
🗣ANYWAY....
Questions....
Comments.....
Concerns....
Lmk what you think of it so far.