I... I don't want to go, 'Chelle."
Michelle smiled sadly as she fixed her husband's bowtie, "Baby... I know you don't. But it's important. It's the tenth anniversary..."
Tears threatened to fall as Brian took a deep breath. His insides felt like he was on fire. He nodded as he looked around, "Where... Where are my pills?"
Michelle grabbed her purse and took out the bottle of pills. She looked at Brian with big eyes as she handed him two pills, "You have to tell them, Brian. You have to."
The honey eyed man shook his head as he grabbed the water bottle they had by the bed and took the pills, "I've lived my whole life like this and they didn't know. Only Jimmy knew. Just because it's getting worse doesn't mean it will fail, like, right now."
After he took the pills, he put away the bottle and cupped Michelle's face in his hands, "Hey... I love you."
She shook her head as she put her hands over Brian's, "Don't... Don't say it like that."
"Like what?" He murmered softly before he pecked her lips.
She sighed before she spoke up, "You said it as if it's the last time."
A sad smile appeared on the man's face as he shook his head, "But it's not. I promise."
Wrapping his arms around her, she melted into his touch as the couple enjoyed the hug. After all these years of being together, they found happiness even in small gestures like these.
After they pulled back, Brian fixed his coat as he looked at himself in the mirror. He wore a black shirt with a white bowtie. Dress pants hugged his legs tightly and his black coat fit him perfectly. His hair was pulled back into a manbun as a fedora stood on top of his head.
Michelle put her chin on his shoulder as she smiled, "You look amazing... Let's go."
He turned around and kissed her, "If I look amazing, then you're breathtaking, babe."
After they made sure everything they would need was in Michelle's purse, they walked downstairs and after they put their shoes on, they left the house and got into one of their cars.
After good twenty minutes, Brian parked the car in the Good Shepherd cemetery. Once they were out of the vechile, the two walked to where their group of friends were standing.
Zacky was the first one to notice them. He took a few huge steps and wrapped his arms around his best friend, "Hey."
Brian just accepted the gesture, wrapping his arms around his friend's shoulders, "Hey."
They stood like that for a while, then Zacky hugged Michelle and with that, they all walked to the others.
Matt nodded as he wrapped an arm around Brian's shoulders,"How are you?"
The slightly older man just nodded back, they all felt the same way. There was no use of lies.
After they stood and spoke for a while, McKenna parked her car not too far from where they were standing. Getting out, she opened the back doors and took out the flowers. Blue orchids. His favorite.
After she made sure all of them had a flower to give to their best friend, she locked the car and stood by her brother. Her outfit consisted of a tight black dress and a coat over it, her boots went up to her knee and her hair was up on a bun.
Brian smiled at his little sister she tried to return the smile, "Hey. I'm glad you could make it."
She nodded as she breathed out, "Me... Me too. Brent says hi. He wishes you all the best. He wishes he could come, but y'know."
After they stood and chatted for a bit, Matt spoke up, "Okay... It's time to go."
With that, they all walked inside. After walking around, they stopped in front of a very familiar tombstone. It was Jimmy's.
They all silently agreed for Matt to start, so he did, "Hey, Jim. It's been... It's been a while. Y'know, I... You've missed some things. Zacky had another child, his name is Ozzy. Brian actually had the first girl of the group, her name is Monroe. We're releasing a new album soon, it will be just for you, buddy.
"We miss you so much. Y'know, ever since you're gone, it just feels... Like the world is a l-little bit smaller and darker... And colder..."
Zacky sensed his friend's discomfort so he continued while Val gave her husband a hug. Zack cleared his throat as he spoke up, "Y'know... We all miss you. We all miss you so much, I can't believe it's been ten years, it seems like it happened yesterday. It hurts like it happened yesterday, but now... We just understood the fact you're not coming back. But I know it buddy, by some higher power or whatever the hell you believe in, we will be reunited. "
Brooks sighed as he looked at the tombstone," I just... I hope I made you proud, Jimmy. I never even tried to fill your shoes, but I can only hope you think I fit in as your brothers' drummer and maybe family. I love you, buddy. I miss you."
Brian looked at Johnny, but he shook his head. If he opened his mouth, he'd start crying even harder. Bri sensed that, so he wrapped his arm around the shorter man's shoulders, then he pulled back and spoke up," I miss you. Every single day, every single second, I miss you and I think of you. I can't stop it and I don't want to. Still to this day, sometimes I grab my phone and dial your phone number, then I wait for you to pick up. But you never do. You never do and I hate you for that.
"But as much as I hate, I love you. No, I love you even more. You're my Jim Jam. You will always be my Jim Jam."
He looked at Matt who had calmed down a bit. He nodded and with that, they all put their flowers down on the tombstone. After they were all done, McKenna spoke up," We love you, Jimmy. We all do. "
With that, they walked off and to the restaurant where they had made a reservation to celebrate their friend's life.
After twenty minutes, they parked the cars. Getting out, the group all piled inside and made their way to the table they had saved.
Countless drinks and a few hours later, midnight came, they all were in a conversation, but Brian. His head was dizzy and his ears were ringing. He took off his coat as he coughed quietly, it was so hot, he could barely breathe.
Getting up, he smiled at Michelle who looked at him, "I will go for a smoke. I'll be right back."
After she gave him a nod, he walked oustide. Taking out the pack of Marlboro from his pocket, he lit himself a cigarette as he tried to take deep breaths. He was sweating and he had started shaking, he didn't know if it was from the temperature or he was fucked up.
He felt like he was going to throw up, his insides felt like they were on fire. There was this tightness in his jaw, no matter how many times he opened and closed his mouth, it didn't stop.
All of a sudden, his hand dropped the cigarette and went straight to his chest. He fell on his knees as he clenched his teeth, closing his eyes. He tried to reassure himself that he was fine, it was just another episode, but it was way worse than before.
Inside the restaurant, Zacky got up from his chair, "I will go see why he's taking so long."
He walked around the tables, slowly making his way to the door. After he walked outside, he looked around. They had been inside for quite some time, it was already the early hours of the next day. Dark clouds covered the stars and a strike of thunder cut through the sky.
"Brian? Brian?"
Looking around, he spotted a hand, creeping by the corner of the building. Slowly making his way there, he started running when he noticed the familiar ' BORO ' , "Brian!"
Falling on his knees by his unconscious friend, he turned him so he was on his back, then he brought his head in his lap, "Wake up! Fucking wake up!"
Grabbing his phone, he dialed nine-one-one. After he told them what's the emergency and where he is, he quickly called Matt. Matt being Matt, of course, picked up right away, "What's up?"
"Get outside right now!"
With that, he hung up and threw his phone to the side. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he slapped Brian's face, "Wake up, wake up, it's not your time yet. Come on. Wake up!"
There were loud footsteps and soon enough, all of the guys and girls were circling around them. McKenna cried out while Michelle was in shock, "Brother, wake up! Wake the fuck up! Bri! Come on!"
There were sirens and before they all knew it, paramedics were pushing them back. Val wrapped Michelle up in her arms while she cried. Zacky was sitting on the curb, a few feet away from the paramedics while they checked Brian's vitals.
The men put Brian on a stretcher and ran off to the ambulance, "Come on, faster, faster, we're losing him!"
The group of friends all quickly got in their cars and sped off right behind the ambulance. Meaghan was the one driving while Zacky cried his eyes out. Moments of him and Brian filled his mind as he closed his eyes, to Brian standing up for him in the cafeteria, to them actually exchanging names and then, to them being best friends.
Soon enough, they reached the hospital. By the time they were in the waiting room, Brian was already behind the doors. Matt was pacing around and Zacky was sitting on a chair, crying his eyes out. The last time he cried like that was when he found out that Jimmy was dead.
Thirty agonising minutes passed and, "Family of Brian Elwin Haner Jr.?"
Michelle quickly got up, Val was right by her side, "Yes, I'm his wife. They're all his brothers and sisters. How is he?!"
The doctor shook his head. Mich's eyes widened and before she knew it, she was on her knees. Val wrapped her up in her arms while she cried.
Matt was shocked. He couldn't move. He turned to Zacky to see that he was sobbing and screaming into Meaghan's shoulder. Brooks was hugging Kelly close to his body as quiet tears ran down his cheeks. Johnny was crying into Lacey's hair as he hugged her.
That's when it hit him. His brother had died. The man who helped him out of the endless void of depression when they lost their Jimmy was gone. Brian was gone. Brian was now with Jimmy. And not so funny enough, he had died a few hours after Jimmy's anniversary.
Falling to his knees, he took fistfuls of his hair as he screamed out. He couldn't believe it.
His brothers were gone.
-
Looking around, I groaned. I was on my bed in my bedroom. I sat up as I rubbed my eyes, getting the sleep out of them, "Thanks fuck, it was just a dream."
Getting out of bed, I stretched. Yawning, I walked over to the window and slowly opened the curtains.
"Good morning, asshole!"
I stood there motionless as he stared down at me. He was floating in the air, a pair of big, black wings were sticking out of his back. His smile was wide and his eyes were shining as he laughed.
"J-Jimmy?"
coming out on the 28.12.2019.