Caution: this part contains
Acts of Child Abuse
**
**
FOUR| Never tip the crown
March 13, 2013
~
Milan and Ro laid in the bed as they stare at the ceiling wondering what they were gonna do for the hour Milan had made for them, "We could go to the ock and eat before you leave ya know? You ain't hungry?" Ro asked.
Milan shook her head, "Nah I think Im coming down with something. I keep on throwing up my food right after I eat bruh."
"Maybe it's something that you eatin." He sat up, "What you been eating?"
"The fuck you mean, I been eating food." She lashed out on him. He chuckled putting his hands up in surrender, "Well somebody's angry. You sure you not hungry?"
"I never said I wasn't." She shrugged sitting up.
Ro got out his bed and began to put on a shirt and his timbs. He checked his wallet to see twenty dollars inside of it, "Come on Mamas,"
They both began to leave the apartment complex. It was a Tuesday so Milan had gotten out early, she told Ro that they could hang out for a hour before she had to leave, leaving out the part that she was leaving to sell some hard drugs on the corners.
They talked about the multiple things they'd do once Ro finally went to her school and she couldn't wait. He started this Friday.
They got to the Sandwich place they called their own and went up to the Ock whose name was Morty. He was an Arabian man who gave them deals each time they come since they always tipped him.
He was cool, "Hey Morty." She smiled.
"Hey Lani, You did your hair?" He asked surprised. She shrugged, "I've been practicing, I think I'm getting better."
"Well I think you look good." Ro told her.
He didn't know when he started to place in his order, but her cheeks were turning a rosy pink from his compliment.
Chill, he's your best friend, she said to her self. She was pulled out her thoughts when Ro nudged her, "What you want?" He'd asked her that like four times.
She looked at the menu and squinted her eyes when the words got a little blurry. Blinking her eyes they got clearer but she still didn't know what she wanted, "Uhhhhhh, what did you get?" She asked hoping it'd be good.
"Im getting tuna."
Ew, "Uh lemme just get the Chicken Wrap. Hold the tomatoes, and give me extra pickles."
"PiCkLeS?!" Ro looked at her.
She looked at him, "And?"
He just looked at her, "Shaking my head."
"That all?" Morty asked running up the price that was $12.38
"Nah and two strawberry Fantas."
Ro paid for they're food and went to sit in the booth. They talk and laughed, but it all ended when the bell from the door had rang and on impulse they both looked back.
It was a boy and his two friends. Ro liked what he was seeing from the boy. He was light skin, had a fade cute smile. His eye brows weren't bushy, had cat scratches but they weren't thin and he was cute. He liked it, he liked that he also had fucking tattoos.
Milan seen the way Ro looked at the boy as he walked past, and kicked his leg, "Oops." She said fakely. She meant to do that, he was being disrespectful.
"Royalty!" The ock spoke out.
Ro sat up to get the food as the boy he eyed watched. He seen the way Ro looked at him and he so happened to be gay as well. In high school though, he was a tenth grader and those friends of his didn't know he was DL.
He wanted it to remain that way. "Thanks Morty." When he went to turn he bumped into the chest of the boy, "My fault." He said before he walked around him. He could still feel the boys eyes on him. He liked the attention, he liked attention from both parties though.
He thought he was selfish for not knowing which side to pick.
It wasn't like he tried them.
"New Boyfriend?" Milan wanted to ask him being the petty bitch she could be, as he sat down but instead she just sat there quite, "One Chicken wrap and Fanta." He said as he placed it in front of her, "Bon appetite." He joked.
"Merci," She thanked him. Her stomach grumbled at the site. Her mouth water with anticipation waiting to bite into her Chicken Wrap with extra pickles. But it was when Ro unwrapped his sandwich that the feeling of having to throw up came.
The smell was way strong and she did not like it at all. "Yo that shit stink Ro."
Ro smacked his lips, "Shut up and eat ya sandwich."
She tried to push the smell away but it was too late after she had ate some of her sandwich. She ran straight to the girls bathroom to throw up. She knew she'd be in there for a while and so did Ro.
He began to put her food up and cover her straw, it was then the boy had took her seat in front of him, "Wussup with ya girlfriend?"
"Do I know you?" He asked acting like a ass hat, but he really just wanted to know his name.
The boy smiled, "Nah buh-Im Jonathan, people call me Little Johnny."
"Why?"
"My dad." He shrugged, "So she your girlfriend orrr,"
"Nah we kinda complicated I guess." To anyone else hell yeah Milan was his girlfriend look at her, but to him they were just best friends, she was merely like the little sister he always wanted.
She was his best friend and partner in crime.
"Ehm, but I saw you checkin me, I just wanted to come over here and talk to you."
"You're gay?" He asked him. He shrugged, "I like having fun."
Ro nodded his head, "I feel you."
"Yeah well i'm tryna feel you too." He said having Ro shookth.
Well then he's mad corny, Ro also thought. "Heres my number. Call me or whatever, uh-"
"Ro." He finished for him.
Little Johnny smiled, "Ro. Right."
When he left he checked his breath from the tuna and cursed at himself before he drunk some of his soda. Just then Milan came out looking like shit, "Lets go." She told him.
He grabbed both of there things and walked out with her.
"So what you gotta do that I cant come with you for? I missed you Lani, Im back. I just wanna hang out." Royal told her wanting to know where it was she had to be.
"Royal just- please. I'll be home by 6:30 something." She told him grabbing her board and placing her backpack on her back. "Besides, you wouldn't like the wait."
"Im waiting with you."
"Well hell-" She walked to the door with him hot on her feet, "See you later Shelia." She told her as Shelia laid on the couch watching the TV. She was in a Robe, had like six cigarette butts in her ashtray, a gin bottle on the table, and her house slippers on and lets not get to her hair.
Roshon really fucked her up. Mentally that is.
"See you girl." She waved lazily, Milan shook her head at the lady she used to like.
Now its- oh
"For real Lani-"
"Yo for real." She told him leaving out his apartment closing the door. It was six and she only had 4 hours and a half to sell the last of her bags. If she could stay out longer she'd be good but she can't and she was literally one thousand away from the goal.
She really hoped she had the money before she and he had to go to the trap, RIGHT after school.
Boys always had more leverage then the girls if it wasn't about "sex appeal" and he was always out at night when the blocks were hot.
She couldn't wait until she could stay out thats where the money was. Old men scared her so her sex appeal lacked the confidence and courage of a prostitute her age she could go through with it.
So she hustled and hustled, the idea of saying Fuck curfew striking up problems in her head knowing that's exactly what'd she'd have to say.
"Yo you late." Rush told her once she got to they block. He dapped someone up and they left. He put the twenty in his back pocket as she got ready, "Well i'm not a home made clock, i'm always late for something."
It was true she could plan her time management but she was always late. Thats why she made sure to leave before the time she was suppose to leave since being on time was considered late as well.
"Well you missing out and ion know about you but i'm almost done." He said as they watched someone come up. The block boys gave them the nod and they knew dude was cool.
"How many you got left."
"Shit a hand full really." He smirked.
"HOW?!" She knew how she wanted to know how?
"Don't trip, a pimp never tells the game." She looked at him like he was dumb before dapping the dude up,
"Shut up dumb ass." She shook her head placing her money in her pocket.
"But nah, real shit when you gone let me take you on another date?"
"In the day time?" She asked.
He smacked his lips, "Yeah why not fine." He shrugged. "So how exactly did you get in trouble with yo pops-"
"He's not my dad." She shut it down, "And that isn't any of your business."
He nodded at her, "Ight my bad. Ian mean to offend you, I just wanna get to know you more."
"Why?"
"Because I really like you Snap." He looked into her eyes. She felt caught and she didn't like the feeling so she looked away from him, "Okay what ever."
"So when we gone go out?"
"If it's not tomorrow and I don't die, then on Friday, how bout it?"
He nodded his head, "Ight."
She stayed there for nothing short of three hours and only sold 50 of those 98 baggies, it was now five so she was ready to move her shit, but that was before she got a call from her trap.
"Yel-lo?" She answered Cakes. She felt like a lame using a flip in public.
"Where you at? I wanna take you somewhere."
"Where?"
"Where you at?" She asked again.
Milan sighed saying, "On the block with Rush."
"The block?"
"Yeah but we cant talk about it over the phone when you think you gone be here?"
Since her back was turned away from the street she couldn't see Cakes Car on the side of her body, "Im here already."
Milan turned around and smiled seeing Cakes. She grabbed her board, and made her way to the car. She took her back pack off and sat it at her feet as Cakes pulled off, "How was school today?" She asked.
Milan sighed, "Same ole, same ole. I cant wait till the summer." She stressed.
"Well I cant wait either shit." She turned to get on the freeway, "Im thinking about takin a vacation. Ion know."
Milan shrugged, "Well, everyone needs to relax sometimes."
"Yeah, and speaking of this, why you on the block?" She asked.
No one but the people on the streets, Gane, and Rome knew she was selling hard drugs now. She's seen Cakes in the last few days she just felt like if she'an ask, she'an have to tell her. "Gane putting me to the test. I gotta give him 2500 by tomorrow from the baggies."
"What Milan-" she looked at her disapprovingly before Mi cut her off.
"We Chill its cool, but ian even gone hold you, I might die tomorrow."
"Why you say?"
"Well I have a curfew and with the trap being in Mott and me living in Claremont I gotta leave at a certain time for the MTI and everything."
"I hate the train."
"Yeah well-" she shook her head, "I only got 1800 saved and Ion know how many baggies i've sold now, I just know its a lot."
"I wished you would've told me. I got buyers."
"Yeah, but you'an ask." Mi shrugged.
"How was I suppose to know, you don't talk." She looked at Milan, "Closed mouths don't get fed."
"Mh, so where are we going?" She asked no longer wanting to be on that topic.
Cakes had detoured to her buyers place, a crackhead with a business who she knew would buy all of Milan's shit. She didn't recommend him to Milan so she wasn't going to let her go in, but she'an want the dumb ass girl to die cause of a responsibility she knew she wouldn't be able to control without experience.
Milan was good with light weight but having to give a niggas 2500 in the matter of three days with a curfew-Milan was bound to die after school especially with the time already being 6. She had an hour to get home and cook for Joe.
"Don't trip." Cakes said as she continued to drive.
They listened to Music while she drove and Milan watched how the hood transformed to the suburbs real quick. She didn't understand why the hood and the suburbs had to look different. Why the hood had to have so much destruction, so much poverty, while the Burbs was clean, no trash bags lingered on the lawns on the streets.
You rarely seen a bum, and all the cars looked nice and expensive. She seen her first Maserati and Ashton Martin on the way to this unknown place Cakes was detouring too.
Even though she liked that these people were safe in there little environment and didn't have to worry about any shootings or being raped in a alley on a run down the street, she didn't like the fact that she wasn't one of the luckies to live like this.
It made her wish that she had died and came back as a celebrities child. Chaka Khan being the woman to give birth to her since she was fire and had money. Plus she could sing and there would be a possibility that she would too.
She dreamed that she ran into Khan's room, six or so, happy. Just them, their house, their money.
But then it turned dark and she was in her room. The closet kept banging and banging and banging. She popped up from her covers, looking at the closet as it continued banging with force.
She was scared to run, but when the banging stop thats when she got scared the most. She grew curious of what was going on, why'd stop so suddenly? She crawled to the edge of her queen sized bed, it seeping with every press since it was cottony and comfortable, the big closet that were closed still silent like a night in Cali after 12. It was then when she looked harder that the doors busted open with a loud BANG on both ends and she was waken from her sleep by Cakes.
"Yo you good?" She asked seeing Milan state.
She nodded her head straightening her self. She looked out the window seeing the big houses around her, she looked at Cakes and asked her, "Where we at?"
"The baggies in here?" She asked holding the backpack. Milan nodded, "Yeah and my money."
"Well take out the money keep the baggies."
"What you doing?"
"Trust me and do it. Hurry up." She told her.
Milan began to take the money out and put it on her lap. When she was done she gave the back pack back to Cakes. Cakes looked at her and said, "Watch the car, stay discreet, and don't get out. I'll be back in a bit."
She left out the car and walked up to the door where she rang the door bell.
Milan watched as Cakes stood there with her bag in hand. Then she seen the door open and a white man in a robe come to the door.
"My Chocolate Doll. How do I owe the pleasure?" He and Cakes went inside the house.
Milan rolled her eyes and began to count the many fives, twenties, and tens she had as she waited. She really hopped she didn't take her long.
~
Thirty Minutes later she seen Cakes coming out the house with her backpack in her hand. The man hugged her, Milan watched closing, eyebrows rose when she seen the man squeeze her butt.
Oop, what happened too Damon, she thought as Cakes started to walk the way to the car.
No what, not my business, she thought she said in her head when she really said it out loud. Just then Cakes opened her door, gave the bag back to Milan, and closed the door. "Its a thousand dollars in that bag."
"So i'm not gone die tomorrow?"
"No." She smiled before pulling off, "Thank God."
When Cakes dropped her off it was just hitting the seven mark. She thanked Cakes once more and closed the door with her board in hand and her back pack on her back. She went straight home and closed the door.
Joe wasn't home yet. She hid the skate board in her closet and through her backpack on her bed before she began to run to the kitchen so she could boil the hot water for the spaghetti she would be making. She knew that was something she wouldn't end up throwing up to eat so she was making it.
She got out the ground beef, a skillet and let the skillet warm up as she seasoned the ground beef for flavor. She put her hand over the stove making sure it was hot before she washed her hands and began putting the meat on the skillet. She had the water on HI so it didn't take long before she put the noodles inside of the pot, putting only a smidge of salt inside.
She didn't know if you could she just wanted to.
With the meat on MED she began to cut the vegetables. Just as Joe came in, "It smells good in here."
She didn't say anything she just continued to cook.
On Monday she was dragged out her bed and beat on it was 3:00 in the morning and she hasn't talked to him since. He went grocery shopping while she was at school and made sure to get two things of orange juice, beers, a small thing of water, and Milk for the beverages of the house.
He hated Milan, but used her for multiple reasons.
He was a bitch.
He let go of the fact that she wasn't talking to him and proceeded to the fridge to get his first beer of the night before he went to the living room. Milan pretended he was the onions as she chopped them up.
She got done and put them inside with the meat before mixing them up. And then she began to Mix the noodles in the pot like she watched Grandma Ruby do multiple times.
"If I didn't know any better I would think you were a chef." She thought of the time Grandma Ruby was teaching her to make spaghetti as she cut up sausages.
"Im just learning from the master..." Nine year old her said shrugging. Ruby laughed.
"I love you Lano."
"I love you too Ruby J."
"I love you too Ruby J." She wiped her eyes from emotional moment with her shirt before she got done cooking.
Six beers later she was done and now had a plate in front of Joe for him to eat. The spaghetti both looked and smelled good. She knew for a fact that it was good.
She just hoped Joe thought the same.
She watched as he ate, waiting for his approval to only see him stand in rage and slap her down, "THIS SHIT IS HOT!" He'd burned his tongue.
"Well what is it suppose to be cold?" She thought she had said in her head but really said out loud.
He kicked her before getting down to her size and punched her, "YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY!?" He asked watching as she cried.
"NO JOE!"
"LIAR!" That was true she thought him burning his tongue from being mad impatient was funny, what she didn't think was funny was him hitting on her. That he did a lot.
"You know what I would think would be funny? Huh you know what I think would be fucking hilarious!?" He got from the floor and began dragging her by her hair.
Her shirt was rolling up her back and she was gaining mad carpet burn. She hit at his hands, clawed at him pulling off his skin, but he'an feel none of that shit it seem.
He grabbed her up by her ponytail, hurting her head as he opened the closet door, the spider webs were evident.
She began to spazz, already feeling the feeling of them being on her. "NO, NO. NO! JOE DONT PUT ME IN THERE NO!!" She screamed as she began to kick and fight him as he struggled to put her in there.
He slapped her with dumb force causing her to fly into the back of the closet. She tried to run to the door but it was too late with she seen it close. Not only was she trapped in the dark, but with insects she couldn't see.
She was scared shitless screaming and banging, "JOE LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET ME OOOOUUUT!!"
He'd been planning to lock her in that room since she was seven, he changed the door knob to have the lock on the outside of the door instead of the inside so she wouldn't be able to unlock the door. He laughed at her cries and her screams, it was like music to his ears, "I'd close my mouth if I were you."
"AHHHHHHHHH!!" She felt shit crawling on her. She couldn't take it, but she had to when Joe had walked away.
He'd open it in a hour, he wouldn't leave her in there forever.
Well thats what he thought before he fell asleep.
~
March 14, 2013
1:23am
//Milan\\
~
I sat in the closet with my hoodie over my head trying to protect every part of my body. I could feel them on me I KNOW they're on me. Id pee'd on my self already, ready to shit my self if I had fainted when my anxiety had kicked in, in only being in here for two minutes.
I had got into this huddle controlling my breathing basically just saying, they weren't here. Im not in here.
My eyes were closed shut, I made sure nothing was loose on me or had a hole where it could go on me. IN I guess.
Just then the door unlocked and I looked up, it was Joe. I stood up and ran out to my room stripping from the clothes I had on until I was in my bra and panties. I threw my clothes out the window and got my clothes out for a shower.
I didn't speak and my lips felt chapped, my neck hurt like mad much from the yelling.
I got in the shower and in the shower I sat down. My body was aching from the kicks, from the hits. I just sat in the tub.
I sat in the tub until the water got cold so I turned off the shower and sat in the bath. I ended up crying loud. Sobbing, until I decided to just stop crying and get out. I dressed my self and looked at my now blacked eye and busted lip. I looked at my side and it looked okay, it didn't look broke thank god.
I got out the bathroom and into my room seeing it look like almost day I started to pack my backpack with the money and hid it under my bed I got under my cover and wrapped inside of it. Of course I wouldn't be able to sleep the night but that only meant I'd be able to sleep through school.
I'll even take some Spaghetti with me.
-----
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