Author's note: Hope you guys enjoy the latest installment of the story! Again, I apologize for taking so darn long. Keep on reading and commenting guys!
Chapter 10:
Mother Knows Best
I blinked. Really, it was the only thing I could do. How else was I supposed to react? I couldn’t really even react to begin with. My whole body just seemed to go rigid, like the very sight of her caused every neuron in my body to shut off completely. I wasn’t even thinking I was so surprised, so shocked at what I saw right there in front of me. I had heard her voice; I would have recognized that voice anywhere. Distinctive, unique, that slight sassy edge to it. No one else had a voice like hers. Hell, no one had the nerve to actually talk to me like that. Nothing seemed to stop her though, not even back when we were younger. I could feel a lump rising in my throat and I swallowed hard to keep it down, to force the words out of my mouth. “Lacey.” I breathed her name, taking in the sight of the woman before me.
The years had treated her nicely. If anything she looked more grown up, more mature. Those brown eyes I had known so well were trained on me, that familiar glint of annoyance in them, although she looked a tad more tired than I had remembered. That and she was a bit thinner too, dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a cream colored cardigan. Her hair was shorter than I remembered too, cut in a simple style that reached a little past her shoulders. Her arms were crossed tight across her chest, her eyes practically glaring into mine as she stood. “Glad to know you can at least get my name right.” She said with a soft huff of air, shaking her head. “Your other actions however… they could use some work.” I shook my head some at her, reaching up and pushing my hand through my hair.
The girl could be the sweetest thing in the world, everyone loved her really. She got along with all of my friends, my sister, my mum. But at the same time, Lacey could be one of the most stubborn girls I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. The kind of girl that stood up for what she believed in regardless of who was involved. It didn’t matter. What was right was right and what was wrong was wrong to her, hands down. And apparently, I had done something wrong. “What are you doing here?” I asked, sighing heavily moving aside to let her in.
“Take a wild guess Harry.” Lacy muttered, stepping into the apartment and turning to face me. “Why did I get a call from Simon of all people arranging a time I could come get Layla?” She asked, getting straight to the point wasting no time. I looked away, moving to the living room and flopping down on the couch, pushing my hands through my hair once more.
“Because she needs to be with her mum.” I stated simply before frowning slightly myself, turning my gaze to her. “Why did you send her here to begin with? I mean you couldn’t have called? Sent an email? Something?” I questioned, realizing I had my own questions that needed answers, that I had feelings about this that weren’t exactly great either. “I mean dropping her off to my mum’s without even telling me? You didn’t think that was something we needed to talk about? Something I should have known about when she was first born Lacey?”
I watched as her expression seemed to falter some, hardening right after as she looked away, shrugging her shoulders slightly. “So maybe I didn’t go about this the right way, but I’m trying to make it better now.” I looked at her, my expression disbelieving.
“By sending her to me? Why? What happened that you can’t take care of her anymore? I mean really Lacey, would you have even told me if you didn’t get into whatever situation you’re in now?” I questioned, the thought occurring to me. What if she hadn’t told me? What if she hadn’t sent her to live with my mother? Then neither of us would have been dealing with this at all and I wouldn’t know that I had a daughter…
“You’re her Dad, she deserved to know that.” Lacey stated simply, looking at me with a frown as I nodded slowly.
“When it was convenient for you.” I stated my tone matter of fact. In no way did I sound angry, out to hurt her or anything. My words were a simple realization, one that I just happened to say out loud.
“It isn’t like that.” She stated her voice quieter.
“But isn’t it? You’re the one who didn’t want to deal with any of this at all. You couldn’t handle me on the X-Factor; you didn’t want anything to do with our success. You still don’t. Because then the attention wasn’t always on you.” I stated, frowning slightly.
Lacey shook her head at me, narrowing her eyes some. “You’re right, I didn’t. Fame like that changes people. I didn’t want to deal with the girls, the paparazzi, and the fact that you’d be gone so much. You’re absolutely right Harry, I didn’t want it. But you know what? I grew up and I realized something, it isn’t about me. Or you for that matter, it’s about Layla.” Her words were firm, her eyes glued right to me as she spoke. I set my jaw, looking at her as I shook my head.
“But bringing her here? Lacey, I know nothing about children. Watching Lux was different, she wasn’t mind, I got to give her back at the end of the day, she doesn’t need the constant attention and time that Layla does and I-I can’t give that to her.” I told her, frowning. Lacey sighed heavily, shaking her head.
“Harry-“
“No, I can’t. I’m just one person, I only just found out about her a few weeks ago at most. How do you expect me to drop everything and become a father? I can’t do it, I can’t be what she needs.”
“Harry, if you just-“
“I mean it Lacey. She deserves better than me, not some half beat dad that’s never there.” The words were spilling right out of my lips. I liked to think that I was the kind of man that kept a good hold of my emotions. I didn’t let a lot get to me, in this industry you couldn’t. You had to keep a calm mind, a level head and most importantly a smile to keep on going at the end of the day, but at that very moment it was like something snapped within me, like all of the pressures I had been presented with were finally beginning to take its toll. I just let it all out. I didn’t even realize that I had stood up, that I was looking at her with such an intense gaze, that my heart was racing in my chest, my breath coming quicker. “I know what that’s like, to have a dad that’s never there, and she doesn’t deserve it Lacey she doesn’t. And if I-“
“Harry, this is not about you!” Before I knew it, Lacey was right there in front of me, her expression out right pissed. Her voice was an absolute shout, cutting me off echoing against the walls of the flat and I looked down at her in disbelief, mouth parted slightly, chest heaving. “This is not about you.” She repeated her voice much softer than it had been before. “Or me. Like I said before, it’s about that little girl okay? I mean if anything, don’t you want for her what you didn’t have? You might not realize it Harry, but you’re walking right in your dad’s footsteps. It may be a different situation, a different generation, but it’s the same thing.” She said, her voice soft as I shook my head looking away. I wasn’t like him. In no way was my father a bad man, but he wasn’t there for me like he should have. My step father was more of a father to me than he was. I swore to myself I would never, ever do that to my child…
But she was right. I hated it so much, but she was right. I was doing the same thing, using my situation as an excuse, just like he did… I swallowed hard, my jaw set as I closed my eyes briefly. I couldn’t do it, I had this thought in my head because I didn’t give myself the option to think otherwise. People managed to have a relationship with their child in far worse situations and here I was backing out, chickening out. That wasn’t right.
“Layla needs you. She really does. I… I can’t provide for her anymore.” Her voice lowered, Layla taking a small step back and shaking her head slightly. If it was one thing that Harry knew she had a hard time with, it was admitting she was wrong, admitting she needed help. I swallowed, looking down at her. “I thought I could do it on my own. I wasn’t thinking about what was best for her, but what I wanted and I made some stupid decisions that I have to deal with the consequences and I don’t want her to suffer from my mistakes.” Layla looked away, her gaze almost sad in a way.
I took a small step towards her, frowning slightly. “What happened…?” I was curious, very curious as to what happened. Lacey was always the kind of girl that was on top of things that handled even the most difficult of situations. What happened to her to make her come back…?
Lacey shook her head, sighing to herself. “That’s a conversation for another day alright? I only had enough money for a round trip ticket and my flights in a few hours.” She muttered lightly, checking her watch.
“I’ll buy you a new ticket.” I stated, the very thought impulsive.
She turned her eyes towards me, giving me a small, almost sad smile. “I know you would, but I don’t want you to Curly.” Lacey stated simply. “I’ve got to get back home; I’ve got things to take care of. But thank you, for the offer.”
“What is it?” I asked again, looking at her with a small frown. “I mean, I can help Lacey. If it’s money you need, a new start I can help you Lacey.” I insisted, taking yet another small step towards her. Lacey looked at me for a moment before shaking her head.
“I’ve got it.” She stated simply before taking a deep breath and turning fully to face me. “You look great by the way, you and the guys. You’ve come a long way and you certainly deserve it.”
I looked at her for a moment, a bit surprised. This was the first time she ever really showed any kind of respect towards what I had chosen to do with my life. As far as I knew she hated the band, hated that I decided to follow my dream. “Thanks.” I muttered lightly, nodding slightly.
“No problem.” Lacey flashed me a smile before looking over towards the door briefly. “Since I’ve got to leave soon, I was wondering if we could go see her? Layla I mean. I don’t want to come all this way and then leave without seeing her…” She said lightly, looking at me.
“Yeah, yeah we can see her. She’s at my mum’s. We can go over there now if you want. I can take you to the airport too.” I offered going and getting my keys.
“I’ll get a cab.” She said simply enough, glancing over towards me with a shrug. I shook my head at her, knowing all too well there was no point in trying to convince her otherwise. I merely sighed heavily before moving towards the door, holding it open for her as she walked out. Of course I had so many questions, so many things I wanted to know about what happened in those few years were weren't together. But Lacey wasn't an open book. She set her mind to keeping it to herself, to handling it on her own and he knew for a fact she wasn't going against any of that any time soon. So I decided I wouldn't push her because that would only make it worse.
The both of us made our way to the parking lot, which luckily was private for the complex, so I wouldn't have to worry about any people following us or anything. The windows heavily tinted and rolled up, we were safe for the time being. The ride back to my mum's was silent, Lacy kept her gaze ahead out of the window. Who knew what was going on through her head. I knew mine was buzzing with thoughts, with everything that had just happened, with what I would do from here on out. But I really didn't have much time to consider it, pulling up into the yard Lacey practically jumped out of the vehicle and rushed to the door. It was then I realized this must have been very, very hard on her. Sending your daughter away to a new continent completely had to have been hard, making the very decision to send her away to a better situation spoke volumes to how much she cared about Layla. I followed behind, pushing my hands into my pockets as my mum answered the door, grinning at the sight of Lacey.
I watched with a small smile as the both of them hugged, their greeting being interrupted by a little squeal, "Mommy, mommy!!" I turned my head slightly, seeing Layla running towards her as fast as her little legs could take her. I had never seen her light up so much, her eyes wide, grinning as she ran to her mum. Lacey knelt down, an absolute look of pure joy on her face as she caught Layla, hugging her tight. "Hey there sweetie? Mommy's missed you so, so much you know that?" She asked, Layla looking up at her and nodding her head vigorously.
"I miss you too mommy!" Layla hugged her tight, just grinning.
"You've been good for daddy haven't you?" Lacey asked, smoothing down Layla's messy hair.
"Uh huh, I good! Daddy sings and play and i wuv him." Layla stated matter of factly, nodding her head. I looked down at her, not helping the smile that appeared on my face, the warmth that flooded my chest at that very moment indescribable. She looked so happy, her eyes lit with a sense of joy that only a child could have. In a way it was the validation I needed. She loved me, I was doing something right, I wasn't't this horrible father I feared I would become. I watched as Lacey glanced at me before turning her attention back to Layla. "And uncle Li-um, and Nye and Lou and Zay." I smiled as Lacery laughed softly, smiling at her.
"Oh really? You have all those uncles? You are one lucky girl aren't you?" Lacey asked Layla, who giggled and nodded.
"Yeah, I lucky mommy." Layla grinned at her, reaching up and playing with her hair as I watched them both. Mother and daughter. This was the first time I had ever seen them together and I could see Lacey in Layla's features. I could only hope she wouldn't have her mother's stubborn attitude. The both of them continued to talk, playing and laughing and I gave them both their space, not wanting to seem like I was hovering. I remained in the living room, just sort of thinking to myself, listening as their laughter drifted from the kitchen. In a way, they were my family. A new sort of family I would have to get used to. It wasn't all about me anymore and for the first time during this entire ordeal, I was okay with that.