Things seemed to get better when Troye started kangaroo care. Brielle was still on her ventilator, but the nurse told them she would probably only be on it for a week more or so. Blaine, on the other hand, was only continuing to improve. They had gotten him started on trying to adjust to Troye's milk, so if Troye wasn't with the babies he was attempting to use the pump so he could start producing for his baby boy.
Even better, the CPS had received a more urgent case and had put there's on hold for a week or two, which proved that perhaps maybe they wouldn't take Jacob and Troye's babies after all. For three more days after Troye had started kangaroo care they stayed at the hospital, but when the babies were a week old, the nurses began pushing Troye and Jacob's departure.
The sub was moving rather well, was easily and efficiently using the restroom in both forms, and had gotten his stitches, which was actually more of one long stitch with a bead at the end, removed on his sixth day of being at the hospital. It was the afternoon of day seven that the nurses brought in a clipboard with paperwork. "You're good to sign out, Mr. Mellet!" the nurse told him. "Bixenman," he corrected softly. "And what do you mean sign out?" The nurse slipped the clipboard to Jacob instead, and the man realized what was happening. They had already stayed a few days over from when Troye would normally have gone home.
Jacob had noticed that the NICU was unfortunately gaining at least one or two babies each day, and he figured that the hall they were in must have been fairly full, perhaps with mothers who needed it a little more. "I figured you would be sick of the hospital by now," the nurse chuckled. "You can go home, sleep in your own bed, you don't have to live off of hospital food-" Troye shook his head slowly,
"My babies are here. I'm perfectly content..." "We kind of need to free the room up though," the nurse finally pressed, and normally Jacob would be irritated, but the woman genuinely sounded apologetic. "As a mother I can't even imagine what it would feel like to have to leave one of my babies in the hospital while I went home, but we've had an increase in preemies in the NICU and so we kind of need the space for mothers with sicker babies." Like always when Troye was beginning to panic, his eyes flashed to Jacob's for support.
But the Dom was at a loss. As much as he wanted to stay with the babies too, he knew that if when Troye had first come into the hospital and they hadn't been allowed to stay with their babies because the rooms were full of people who didn't need to stay, he'd be fairly upset. It felt as if he were being torn in two, but he nodded to the nurse, "I'll talk to him." A look of betrayal flashed across Troye's face, and Jacob wanted so badly to take it back, to tell the nurse that they'd be staying, but the nurse had already left the room.
"I don't want to leave them," Troye, who had been looking through some baby clothes that Luke had brought for something that they could possibly put Blaine in, shakily reached for the recliner so he could sit. "I can't leave my babies-" "Pet..." Jacob said softly. "We have to go home. You heard the nurse, other people need this room. We're lucky, our babies are okay. What if someone who has a baby a lot sicker than ours needs this room but they can't stay in it because we're here? How would you feel leaving the hospital if our babies were still sick?"
"Brielle is still having problems!" Troye tried. "Just the other day t-they had to give her more medicine in her IV because her blood pressure was low and she's still on the ventilator." "I don't want to leave her either," the Dom said sadly. "Or Blaine. Not our baby girl or our baby boy, if the hospital wasn't full I'd make the nurses let us stay. But... we've been here a week. It's time for us to leave."
Troye pulled the tiny onesie he held in his hands up to his face, hiding from Jacob as a choked sob escaped him, and then his shoulders were heaving as he broke down in despair. "No..." he wailed. "Please, Jacob, I don't want to, please talk to them-" Jacob couldn't even bring himself to scold Troye for saying his real name anymore. Even though it had once been one of Jacob's most important rules, it didn't seem as important anymore. He preferred his real name coming from Troye's lips, it proved just how much Troye trusted him.
In the bedroom Jacob would still insist that Troye called him sir, but outside of sexual matters Jacob didn't mind. However, despite allowing Troye lots of free range, he still had to have some form of dominance. "I understand that you're upset, sweets, but you aren't supposed to tell me no, remember?" Troye looked up from the onesie he was sobbing into, tears pouring down his cheeks, "I- I'm not meaning to tell you no I'm just- please, please I want to stay with my babies."
"We'll visit them every day, we have to so we can give the NICU bottles that you've pumped to store for the twins," Jacob promised as he shuffled forward to try and comfort his boy, unable to stand seeing Troye so upset. "Blaine needs us for kangaroo care and Brielle will too here soon so we can't-" "We have to, Troye," Jacob said a bit more firmly, leaning to cup Troye's face to make the distressed boy meet his gaze. "I'm sorry. We have to go home today." Troye's face crumpled and he only sobbed harder, trying to lean forward to press his face into Jacob. The Dom allowed it of course, wrapping Troye up in his arms to the best of his ability. "I'll- I'll sleep in the waiting room? Or even in the car in the parking lot but-" Troye begged desperately. "Pet..."
When Jacob had realized that there wouldn't be any possible way of convincing Troye into going home, he used his Dominant status and filled out Troye's paperwork for him. It broke his heart to do so, especially when Troye moved away from sitting beside him to lay in bed and try to hide beneath the covers. The boy couldn't curl up on his side because of his incision, however, so he was left to lay flat on his back with Jacob watching sadly as the sub sobbed into his hands. The nurse returned after a bit to collect the clipboard, and she gave Troye an apologetic look before she spoke softly to Jacob,
"You're free to go... you can pick up pain pills from him at the pharmacy on the first floor. And of course, you can come back to visit your babies every single day until they get to come home with you. Visiting hours open at nine for non-hospital staying residents." Jacob thanked her quietly, standing from a stool he had been seated on to gather up their things. Troye pushed himself up with wide and red-rimmed eyes, shaking his head, "We- we haven't e-even said goodbye to them!" "We're going to," Jacob hushed him gently. "I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to our babies."
"I want to-" "I know you do, Troye, I'm sorry," Jacob huffed, a bit harsher than he meant to, and when Troye's face crumpled even further and he shrank down small, Jacob placed his stuff down to walk over and try to hug the smaller boy once more. "No... no I really am sorry, sweets, I know this is going to be hard on you. It's hard on me too but I didn't carry them inside of me for seven months like you did. I feel awful for making you do this but I have to. But you'll have to calm down a little or the nurses won't let us into the NICU."
Troye did as he was told, but not only did he stop crying, he went completely quiet. His face was tired and his eyes lacked the light they usually held, and it reminded Jacob so much of the time period after the incident with Brandon. It worried him extremely, and he thought of all the repercussions that pregnancy could bring mood wise. They'd been so focused on the physical things, Troye's incision, the postpartum bleeding he would experience for three weeks or so, and his lactating. They hadn't even considered mood swings or postpartum depression. "Let's go say goodbye to our babies," Jacob said softly once he had both their bags on his shoulder. He held out an arm to assist Troye down the hall, and he was relieved when Troye slipped under it. An itch inside him made him half wonder if Troye would blame him for making him leave. They walked down the hall together, slipping into the NICU. Troye left Jacob's side to head to the section where their babies were, one hand supporting his incision so he could walk a little faster. The boy's hands shook as they fluttered about, stroking both of the babies' heads and fixing their beanies and booties.
"Mummy wants to take you with him," Troye sniffled. "I really do, Little Fuzzies. But your Daddy and I will visit you every day and it'll be okay little babies, I know I'll probably miss you more than you'll miss me.
It'll be so awful without being just a short walk away from you-" Troye's words caught in his throat, and his breath hitched in a sort of hiccup. Jacob softly set down their bags to step up and curl an arm softly around Troye's waist as he peered at their little babies. Both were fast asleep, which was a bit of a comfort. If they were upset it would be even worse to leave. Especially if little Brielle, who had only just recently began starting to throw little soundless tantrums with her face scrunched and her legs kicking, were to be upset.
"We're sorry, tiny babies," Jacob spoke softly. "The nurses here will take good care of you like they have been, though. They'll help you get better so you can come home with us. Your room is ready, that's a plus, hmm? You probably have no idea what Daddy is saying, I'm sorry that I'm so formal. Maybe your Mummy will teach me how to talk to babies." Troye nestled into Jacob's side at that, his voice thick with tears as he spoke, "They'll just like your voice. Maybe they even recognize it from hearing you when they were in my tummy." "I cursed a lot," Jacob's nose scrunched. "I'm an awful influence." "You're a good Daddy," Troye assured. They stayed for as long as they could, and Troye tried to see if he could do kangaroo care one last time just so he could cuddle Blaine.
But Hari wasn't around to assist them, and instead an older nurse kindly tried to shoo them from the NICU. "Let him say goodbye," Jacob snapped at the woman when Troye began breathing heavily as the nurse sidled in front of the warmers the babies rested in. "Those are our children, you can't block our children out of our sight." The woman moved begrudgingly, and Troye peppered both babies with teary kisses. Jacob placed soft kisses to the fuzz poking out of each baby's beanie, and then they were forced to leave the NICU and hospital entirely, only stopping to get Troye's medicine from the hospital pharmacy and to rent a breast pump until Jacob could find one to buy Troye. Troye managed to hold himself together until he was seated in Jacob's mustang that had both a large dent in the driver's side door from when Jacob had flung it open in a panic and a parking ticket under the windshield wipers from parking in what was apparently a handicap spot.
Troye's small frame shook with great sobs as Jacob slid into the seat after putting their bags in the back. His heart crumbled at the very sight of his boy so sad, and he himself felt like his soul was being pulled from his chest at the thought of leaving behind their week old babies. "My baby Fuzzies need me and I'm just leaving them," Troye gurgled. "Oh God, what if they get sick again and we're not there-" "Don't, sweets, they'll be fine," Jacob shook his head. It was something that he didn't even want to think about. Their babies would be fine, they'd visit each day and everything would be okay. He didn't say much as they pulled out of the car park and drove away from the hospital, leaving their little babies behind.
"I'm so awful for wanting to stay there when other mother's might need it, but I need my babies, I- I feel sick-" Troye hiccupped. Jacob's hand reached out to cup the back of Troye's neck, just above the boy's collar, and he begged desperately, "Please, Troye, please don't cry anymore. I'm not sure how much more my own heart can handle." Troye's sobbing resided, and he sniffled a bit before he squeaked, "...What?"
"Seeing you so upset," Jacob said weakly. "It's devastating. I love you and I just want you to be happy. I want our family to be happy." Troye scrubbed at his eyes moving Jacob's hand from his neck so that he could clutch onto it, "But our family isn't all together... when they are I can be happy. Until then I don't- I need our babies home." "When we get home we'll unpack and then we'll call the hospital and check up on them, ask how their dinner goes," Jacob whispered. "We'll show Luke and Tommy all the pictures on my phone, we can invite your father over sometime this week... anything Troye, anything to keep your mind off of the bad things and I'll give you it if I can."
"Thank you, J- sir," Troye caught himself. Jacob squeezed his hand in return, "You can call me Jacob unless I say otherwise. I don't mind so much, it's actually kind of nice. You're my husband after all, you can't call me sir forever. I think I would like you to call me sir during most intimate matters, however." "Yes sir... I mean Jacob," Troye mumbled. "Maybe I'll just call you both." "I like that idea," Jacob agreed. When they arrived home, Troye didn't want to see the completed baby room. He simply stood a few feet away in the hall while Tommy tried to coax him into it, but the tiny sub shook his head.
"I'll go in there when I can take my babies in there," he insisted. Troye's tears had made him sore, so while Jacob unpacked some of their things the younger boy laid on the bed. They still had time before dinner when they were supposed to show Luke and Tommy more pictures they had taken, but until that time Jacob crawled onto the bed with Troye, thumbing away tears that dripped from the boy's eyes. "I'm sorry. I love you," he told Troye quietly. "I love you, too," Troye sniffled. It hadn't even been four hours since they had left their babies and it was already hard, Troye was already growing sadder.
But Jacob was determined to see to it that everything turned out okay. They'd bring their babies home as soon as possible, for both himself and to make his boy happy again.