"I got my eyes on you. You're everything that I see, I want your hot love and emotion endlessly. I can't get over you. You left your mark on me," Hold On, We're Going Home, Drake
Eight unread text messages.
Six missed Facetime video calls.
Five missed calls.
All from the same number.
I rolled my eyes, listening to a groan as I shifted in the bed a little bit. "Travis, move your fat ass," I hissed, trying to pull the blanket from him as it was cold in my room and my pet decided to leave, not giving me any of her warmth. "Shut up, Ez," A raspy voice broke the silence as the sun broke through the window blinds, letting us know that it was morning. "It's Saturday, for fuck's sake," Travis grumbled, shoving his head into the pillow.
It was Saturday and it didn't make any sense as to why my phone was ringing off the hook like somebody had died. It didn't matter anyway anymore but I felt just a bit sad because I left Noelani behind and there was no way that I could get over a bond like that so easily.
But it was over.
Just then, my phone started to vibrate in my hand, the sound echoing in the room. "Just answer the damn phone, Ez!" Travis pushed my chest and I rolled my eyes, deciding to just get it over with. "Hello?" I muttered into the phone, hearing a breath hitch on the other side. "Ezra," I closed my eyes as I gritted my teeth, instantly knowing whose hopeful voice that was. I took a deep breath and regulated my emotions, willing myself to stay firm. "Nishan." I knew it wasn't his fault for anything,
"Can you please come back?"I had to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating, that this wasn't some dream that I conjured up in the hopes to make the angry and judgemental Nishan into one that was sweet and caring, loving me the way that I wanted. Of course, it was nothing like my reality.
"Why?" I questioned, shaking my head even though he couldn't see me. "Why should I put myself in that position again? Give me one good motherfucking reason," I hissed, sitting up in the bed, making sure that my voice didn't reach Travis's ears. I didn't want him to realize how dire this situation was and how much each person in that family sordidly depended on me. I meant what I said, even if my heart didn't agree.
"Please."
Nishan sounded so broken, so out of it. He sounded as if he was relying on me to be his last hope and I shut my eyes, heaving a sigh. I could hear myself in him and it pained me because I just knew I wouldn't have been able to give up on him.
"I'll be there in fifteen."
I regretted my decision of telling Travis to drive me there as soon as we got on the stairs, waiting for the door to open. I regretted it instantly because the son of the Lawrence family was happy until he wasn't.
Nishan stood in the doorway, his jaw taut and clenched as he stared at the hand that was on my shoulder. Even if Travis couldn't sense it, I could see the black aura around him that was threatening to burn and incinerate Travis on the spot, just for having his hand on my shoulder. Nishan didn't even look at me. He just kept his steely gaze on Travis and it appeared that the latter was staring back.
"U-um," I broke the uncomfortable silence. "Nishan, this is my best friend, Travis," All he did was nod in his direction, his lips still firm and eyes still narrowed. The torrent vision of contempt swirled around in his mismatched eyes, poison sneaking through his expression as he pinned Travis to the floor with just one look. "Travis, this is Nishan Lawrence," I introduced them, but I got the feeling that they didn't seem to like each other but it was stifling.
I could see Nishan's hand clenching and I swallowed, turning to Travis as I slowly removed his hand from my shoulder casually. "I'll call you when I'm ready to leave," He slowly nodded but Nishan cut in. "No need. I'll take you home." He said it in such a matter-of-fact tone that left no type of room for discussion.
I clapped Travis's hand in farewell, promising to call him later on as I followed Nishan in, not seeing the look that Travis was giving him. What the hell were they on? I sighed, just trying to get this over with. Nishan didn't say a single word, his tank top moving with each step he took, spreading out against his muscles. Ooh. "Here," He led me to the room where Noelani was currently crying in and my heart dropped as I instantly ran over to her, scooping her up. "It's okay, baby," I kissed her forehead, hearing her cries cease.
"She wouldn't stop crying until she saw you." I hushed the baby quietly in my arms. Noelani instantly curled up in the heat of my body, her eyes drooping closed as she held onto my shirt tightly. "Guess she loves me more than I thought," I smiled softly, rubbing her back as all eyes were on me. "I guess she does," Nishan hummed in his deep voice and I fought the blush to my cheeks, wondering what he was thinking as he stared at me.
"W-what am I here? What do you want?" I asked as I put the baby down for a nap, realizing that she was much tired. "My mother would like to talk to you," I nodded, following him out of the room quietly as he guided me down the hallway with his hand on the small of my back, a spark lighting up my entire life. "...thank you for coming back." I took a deep breath and looked up at him, offering him a smile. "Yea, well, you kept calling."
He chuckled to himself, a sign that he was genuinely pleased and I looked down at the ground, grinning to myself. I couldn't stop the onslaught of emotions but I knew that I would have to. Once we were in the living room, I took a seat down on one of the couches, Nishan taking a spot a few feet down from me.
There sat each member of the family in a chair: Eve, Leon, Natalie, and Nishan.
"W-what is it?" I asked rapidly, having a feeling of why I was here. Eve cleared her throat, putting her hands on her knees as she looked at me, her eyes earnestly requesting something from me. "You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and you know everything that is about the secrets that we unintentionally have," I nodded as she looked at every single person in the room. "Can you please tell us what to do as we have no idea where to start?" She whispered and I stared, pondering if this was some sort of joke.
Judging by the look on her face, it wasn't. Since I knew everything about them, she wanted me to be the one to tell them what their issues are and what to do because, in their eyes, I was someone they trusted as I foolishly stayed when all bets were off. I didn't want to, but I hated to see them ruin their family because they couldn't talk about what happened. It reminded me of my own broken family, and I refused to let that happen so I decided to tell it like it is.
I looked Eve dead in her face, morphing into that outspoken part of me. "Y-you hit and you mentally abuse your husband because you feel guilty about not telling him what happened to Naomi and you cannot deal with the fact that he cheated on you," I turned to Leon. "You cower in fear instead of telling her the real truth and everything behind it, more than what you told me. You keep your loose ends going and you wonder why there's so much tension between you and Eve," I turned to Natalie, biting my lip. "You have sex with different men and you pay them to not tell anyone so that you can feel less insecure about yourself because you had a miscarriage when you were 19."
Natalie blushed and looked down, watching all eyes on her. It was obvious that she never told them about that situation. "And you," I looked at Nishan, grimacing slightly. "It wasn't your fault, but the way that you coped with your assault led you to be homophobic towards gay men." He looked away, knowing that I was right.
"I can explain," Leon mumbled, looking at me as if I was scolding him. "The doctor doesn't even know how I lost her," Natalie whispered and her mother grabbed her hand, rubbing it to give her some comfort. My mother hen came out and I felt a pang of empathy as I looked at her distraught nature. Eve turned to me, fully prepared to disagree with me but little did she know, I came prepared as well.
"There's nothing that I can do against my brother. H-he's so powerful and he has so many connections! He told me that if I ever try anything, he'll put me in jail because I signed a contract years ago that allowed me to have access to money of his to start up my career, but he never signed it and that could be written off as theft!" Eve sputtered, true fear becoming evident in her eyes and I nodded, knowing that it had to push and shove in order for one of them to make the effort. "I'm going to put it to you like this, Eve," I folded my arms, telling myself that I should've gone to school for psychology because I knew what the hell I was saying. "Is your fear of Easton greater than your love for your family?"
She let my words resonate within her head, eyes wide and mouth agape because she was truly at a loss for words. "You can find many loopholes within a contract for you to use against him. There are always loopholes. Maybe the account that the money is under," I shrugged, bringing the business mind of me forth. "Legally, if the money is yours to use from him, it wouldn't be under your name. If he didn't sign it, then he can't use that against you because he didn't sign the account over to you, so it would backfire on him." I explained, realizing that Easton was a lot more egotistical than he seemed.
"That, and finding any other evidence that he killed Naomi, his testimony," I pointed to Nishan, who looked extremely terrified at the thought but it had to be done unless he wanted this man to somehow escape jail and be prevalent in his life. "Find what you can and put that bastard in jail," Eve slowly nodded, seeming full of relief as I continued down the line, flicking my gaze towards Leon.
I didn't get paid to sit here and tell them how to fix their mistakes within this family, but something within me told me to do it. Not for the sake of their family, not because I liked working for them, not because there was a precious baby who needed me (though it was tempting), but because of Nishan.
"You know you've been losing business because of that scandal that you had with Cassidy Novak a few years back," Leon nodded sullenly and I instantly formulated a plan in my mind. "That and the fact that she told her story to the news. You need to go out and tell SA news the truth and have evidence, which could be the hotel footage, the footage from the front of your house to show that she's stalking you, me as a witness, whatever, and get a restraining order. You also need to tell Eve the truth and everything else that you didn't tell me." I motioned for him to turn to his wife, who looked at him with confusion.
"Leon, what is he talking about?" Eve clutched her hands together, watching as her husband rubbed her knee. "Eve, love, I keep telling you that I didn't intentionally cheat on you with Cassidy because the doctor found traces of GHB in my system," Leon pulled out what was supposed to be medical examination from his pocket, handing it to his wife so that she could see that he was telling the truth. Mm, sure. Eve's eyes filled with tears as she covered her mouth, realizing what she had done.
"And I couldn't have gotten her pregnant because I had a vasectomy a year prior to meeting her," He whispered, wiping the tears from her eyes as he smiled softly at her. Thus then, I could see the slow repair in their relationship. Although, he didn't disclose that information to me, so that was a bit shocking. "Make sure you use that as evidence, Leon, and she won't bother you anymore." I cut in awkwardly, ruining their moment.
Oh well. They had time for all of that when I left.
"And you," I fixated my eyes on Natalie, unsure of how to say this without seeming so insensitive because I wanted nothing but for her to be happy. "I don't know what it's like to lose a child, but I know what it's like to lose a part of you," I whispered and she blinked at me, waiting for me to give her hope. "You need to talk about your feelings with other people who have gone through the same thing that you have. That would help you be able to grow and realize that you are not alone, Natalie," My voice came out in a soothing tone as I stepped on a mental platform with this family, understanding that I was a lot more than the maid.
"Rely on others to help you get through it. Go to therapy or group sessions. This will help come to accept that loss and never forget it. This will help you decide if you want to try again for that beautiful joy of life but this time, do it with someone you love. In addition to that, you'll find that you see a lot more worth in yourself that you originally thought," I smiled gently and Natalie gratefully nodded, squeezing her lips together to stop her whimper from leaving her mouth.
I swirled around on my booty, facing Nishan. He was so fragile yet so tough and I admired that characteristic of him. He motioned for me to say what I had to say so that he could work on himself, all the while boring his eyes into the ground.
"You got to realize that not every gay man has bad intentions and not every gay man is Easton. If you want to move on and free yourself, you must understand that, Nishan," I lamented, watching his every action. He looked utterly defeated and it pained me to see him this way for some reason, but he had to know. "Because if you don't, you'll never be happy."
With that, he snapped his head up towards me, looking deeply into my eyes and I blushed heavily, not wanting to break it. "I've never been in your situation but I do know what it's like to feel worthless," Nishan listened intently, his jaw taut and tight as he clenched his hands. "You just can't let your demons tell you what you know you aren't. You can't let that man define you because look at who you've become today," I pointed at him, wanting him to realize that he wasn't that little boy anymore. He was grown and he was strong. "You lived through that horrible experience and you turned out to be something so perfect," His eyes softened and I didn't even realize what I was saying to him but it was the truth. "You are Nishan Lawrence and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise," I stated firmly and he bit his lip, running a hand through his hair to conceal his unraveling emotions.
I smiled, knowing that we had taken a step closer. Closer to what? I had no clue, but there was no more air of tension or feelings of disgust. We didn't even know what these feelings were.
"I'm not even sure if I hate gays anymore..." I heard him speak and I wondered how he reached that conclusion, but I said nothing. Instead, I turned to the collective group as I stood up, knowing that it was time to leave. This family had the initiative to move towards healing themselves.
I offered one last statement just to give them the push that they needed to work on getting this family back together. "I know what it's like to feel scared," I nodded, reminding myself of who I was before I came to San Antonio. "To feel powerless, but a very great woman once told me that I can't be the man that I want to be if I continue to look in the past." Celina always gave me the words that I needed to hear and now, I was telling them what they needed to hear if they ever wanted to be that happy family again.
I waved them goodbye as I headed towards the door, intending for this to be the last time that I would ever come here. I felt a pang in my heart at the sudden thought, but all of us knew that it had to be done. I had overstepped my boundaries numerous times and it didn't make sense for me to stay.
Once I was near the door, hand reaching for the knob, a grip on my elbow alerted me. "The hell?" I mumbled, flicking my gaze from the tan hand up to the arm and up to the face, realizing who it was that stopped me. "Please say that you'll come back," I sighed in agony as he released my elbow, hating that my heart thumped to the sound of the begging in his voice. I hated that I was at a standstill when the answer was clearly in front of me.
"Just please leave me alone, okay?" I rubbed my temples in frustration, wanting to know why I felt so drawn to this dude. I felt a hand under my chin lift my head up so that I was looking into softened eyes and a warm grin. "I'm sorry, Ezra," Nishan tilted his head, sighing as if he was completely frustrated with himself as well but all the more content.
"But I can't."