*Present*
Rick laid awake in his old bedroom at his mothers house, unable to stop himself from thinking about the kiss he shared with Daryl only a few hours earlier.
He kissed the man. He straight up kissed him and then ran off like a pussy, what kind of man did that make him? He didn't even want to think about how Daryl must be feeling right now. He was probably confused and rightfully so, but Rick hoped he didn't hate him for it.
It's been over 20 years and he knew Daryl didn't have partner, but what if Daryl didn't have those same feelings for him anymore? Hell, Rick was married with a kid and he still hadn't gotten over his feelings for the other man, so maybe Daryl still did too.
Actually now that he thought about it, Daryl had started to kiss him back. Daryl Dixon had kissed him back, did that mean he still had feelings for him? Or did he just image that whole thing and was being stupid? The latter was a high possibly.
He was too old for this shit. He was a grown man, he shouldn't be staying up late thinking about this sort of thing. The amount of late nights he spent lying on this exact bed thinking about the same man... guess somethings never change. Although, a lot has changed. He was married, he couldn't be kissing other people, especially Daryl.
Oh God, how was he meant to sit in a car with Daryl all the way to Dale's cabin, it was over an hour drive... Why'd he have to kiss him and things awkward?
Covering his face with a pillow, Rick let out a frustrated groan, stuck between dreading seeing Daryl again and eager to see the other man. How was he meant to survive a whole day with him when he ended up kissing him after a few hours? He was so screwed.
-
Daryl stayed up late that night working on Paul Rovia's Mustang. He couldn't stop thinking about the kiss he shared with Rick, although he was still struggling to believe that it had actually happened. Sure, he'd dreamt about kissing Rick many times over the past 20 years, but he knew it would never happen. He honestly thought he'd never see Rick again, but he's glad he was wrong.
He forgot how happy Rick made him feel. Even though the two of them weren't together anymore and the man was married, he still never failed to bring a smile to his face and Daryl couldn't even remember the last time he genuinely smiled or laughed until Rick showed up.
He knew nothing more could ever happen between them, the kiss was a once off thing. Rick had a life. He had the whole white picket fence life with a wife and son. Rick made something of himself and Daryl wasn't going to get in the way of that.
After finishing his work on the Mustang, Daryl had eventually gone to sleep on the old foldout couch in the garage and awoke early the following morning, forgetting how noisy the neighbours rooster was. How was the damn animal still alive anyway? The amount of times Daryl had wanted to jump the fence with his crossbow when he was a teenager and do the whole street a favour by silencing the animal. Rick had called his bluff all those years ago, saying that Daryl could never kill someone's pet and he hated that Rick was right, Rick was always right.
He tried going back to sleep, but the damn rooster wouldn't shut up which was probably for the best because he knew his dreams would be laced with nightmares that had already woken him up twice last night in a pool of his own sweat. Sometimes it would be flashbacks of his father, but others it was of the accident at the Logging Site.
With a sigh he kicked the blankets off his body and gingerly stood up. His body ached most mornings or if he's sitting down in one spot for too long, then he'd start to feel the familiar aches and pains all results from working at the Logging Site for all those years. Lifting logs and sawing of branches, took a toll on his body over time, but it was the accident that really took it out of him.
The only serious injury he received was the cut over his eye and although it needed a shit load of stitches and had left a very distinct scar. He was lucky to still have his left eye and to this day he still had no idea how the flying debris managed to cut above his eye and below it, not scratching or even slightly damaging his eyeball.
The scar he could deal with easily, he's dealt with scars all his life, but it was the injuries that you couldn't see that still annoyed him now. The drop from the waterfall should've killed him and not a day goes by where he doesn't think about it, but all it did was bruise a few bones which healed within a month. But the aching and stiffness in his body never disappeared and just got worse as time went one. It wasn't anything that he couldn't easily deal with, just a few stretches was all he needed to do before the aching vanished, but it was still a pain in the ass and a constant reminder of that day.
He spent most the morning doing last minute adjustments to the Mustang. He wasn't sure if Rick was still going to come around so they could take one car to Dales cabin. He doubted Rick would, not after what happened last night and he didn't blame him.
He reversed the Mustang out the garage to wash it, but as he shut off the engine he heard the rumble of another vehicle causing him to turn around in confusion before he spotted Ricks BMW slowly pulling into the driveway and he exhaled in relief.
"Nice car." Rick called out, rolling down the window to his BMW as Daryl climbed out Mustang unable to hide the relived smile spreading across his face as he looked over at Rick in the car.
"Dale's policy-" Daryl began to say motioning towards the car before Rick spoke up.
"All rebuilds must be test driven before they're returned." Rick finished for him, pulling his keys out the ignition as he climbed out his car. Daryl nodded in agreement before he motioned towards the garage and disappeared for a moment, leaving Rick outside as he took in just how much work Daryl had done on the car since he saw it a couple days ago.
"Ready to go." Daryl called out, tucking his phone and wallet into his jeans pocket while carrying the urn of Dale's ashes and Rick nodded before they both climbed into the vintage vehicle. Rick automatically sitting shotgun, knowing how much Daryl must be itching to take the Mustang for a test drive.
To both of their surprise the drive wasn't awkward in the slightest. They stopped at the local café and picked up a couple coffees and croissants since neither of them had even thought about making breakfast this morning before they hit the familiar road towards Dale's cabin.
They didn't talk about what happened last night, almost acting like it never happened to begin with. They spoke about old memories of Dale, from the time the old man had caught them making out in the bed of his truck to the time they helped him fix the leaking roof in the bathroom one winter.
Neither of them said anything as they pulled up to the front of the old cabin, both of them completely speechless. It was completely overgrown and run down. Vines and plants had covered the front of the building, the wooden steps leading up the porch cracked and broken. The small vegetable garden he had set up out the front was just a pile of dirt and weeds. They had never seen the cabin like this before, it was always so well maintained and blooming with luscious flowers and plants.
They continued to stare at the overgrown cabin in shock as they silently climbed out the vehicle. Rick grabbed the urn as they began to walk around the side of the house towards the back where they knew Dale's flower garden was, but they were almost scared to see what the flowers looked like.
"God, it used to be so beautiful." Rick commented, breaking the silence as they walked around to the back of the house and Daryl couldn't stop the small gasp that escaped his lips as he took in all the dead flowers, that covered the area behind the house. These tulips were Dales prized possessions. His wife used to plant them every year and after she passed Dale continued the tradition, Daryl couldn't even count how many times Dale had sent to him to work in the garden to maintain the health of the flowers and make sure there weren't any weeds in sight, but now... Daryl couldn't even speak as he took it all in.
"I just... This how we're supposed to do this? Spread his ashes here?" Daryl asked, hating how tight his voice sounded as he stared at the dead flowers when suddenly Rick grabbed his shoulder causing him to flinch, but quickly recovered as he looked over at Rick who smiled sadly at him.
"I guess so. This is where he scattered Clara's ashes, so it seems right." Rick replied as the two of them walked further into the overgrown garden before they stopped, both staring at each other lost for words. "Well, we should say something. Not like a long-winded eulogy or anything like that. Just..." Rick trailed off not really knowing what he was trying to say, but Daryl seemed to understand.
"Yeah, he'd hate that, just somethin' short. No fuss." Daryl muttered, glancing down at the urn in Ricks hands before he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and stared down at the ground as Rick began to speak.
"Dale could get under your skin sometimes, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honestly is rare and brave. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us... The truth, who we really are. He was one of the only people who knew us and accepted us before anyone else did and looked out for us when both our families were against it." Rick began to say before he realised he was saying a long-winded eulogy and stopped and laughed at himself before he glanced over at Daryl. "We love you, Dale." Rick whispered and Daryl smiled sadly.
"We do." He added as the two of them glanced around the garden for a moment before they began to take turns spreading his ashes.
-
After the spread his ashes two of them needed a moment to themselves. Dale's death only just starting to sink in for the both of them.
Dale had been a big part of both of their lives. Daryl more so when they were younger, but when they got older it was Rick who visited Dale and caught up with him regularly, forming a close friendship with the older man. That was something Daryl regretted, but Dale knew why he never visited and never asked him to because his family was still in town and Dale didn't want him anywhere near them.
Rick opted to driving 10 minutes to the nearest town to pick up dinner and Daryl just nodded in agreement, handing him the keys before they went their separate ways.
Daryl listened to Rick drive off in the Mustang while he sat on the small wooden platform that ran out into the lake out the back of the house, hugging his knees to his chest as he stared out along the crystal clear water watching the small trout jump occasionally.
Dale was like a father figure to him. The older man took him in and looked after him like a son, he was there for him when his own flesh and blood just wanted to use and hurt him. Dale took a risk with him, despite knowing the trouble his family was, but for some reason he still took Daryl in and that was something he'd never forget and take for granted.
He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting out there for or when he had even started to cry, but when he heard footsteps coming up behind him he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. He cleared his throat, but didn't move to acknowledge Rick as he continued to stare at the water.
The smell of pizza filled the cool afternoon air as Rick placed the pizza box and six-pack of beer on the wooden platform before he sat down beside Daryl, not even saying anything as he wrapped his arm around the other mans shoulder.
He could tell Daryl had been upset earlier, hell, he may have shed a couple tears in the carpark earlier, but he knew Daryl would try to bottle up his emotions like he always did.
But, to his shock Daryl didn't try argue and he leant into Rick's touch, unable to stop his body from shaking as he fought back tears and dropped his head on top of his knees
Rick didn't say anything as he pulled Daryl closer, his hand gently rubbing Daryl's back trying to comfort the other man and Rick couldn't stop his own tears rising in his eyes at the sight of Daryl falling apart in front of him.
Daryl was always the strong one and he'd never seen the other man like this before and he was going to do everything he could to be there for him.
Rick could feel the corner of his shirt getting wet from Daryl's tears as he pulled the man closer until his head was resting on his shoulder, but he didn't care as he held him tightly letting him cry. Rick knew how much Dale meant to him, he was a better father than Daryl's actual piece of shit father and Rick knew how much losing a father hurt. He lost his own father a while back and although the two of them weren't on the best of terms with Rick moving to King County with Shane after they graduated high school, which his father did not approve of, but Rick didn't care. His father was tough on him, but Rick knew his father always tried his best to give him a good life, but he just wished it didn't take his fathers funeral for him to find realise that.
Eventually Daryl had stopped crying, but his body was still trembling slightly against Rick before took in a deep shaky breath and pulled away from Rick as he sat himself up straight.
"M'sorry." Daryl mumbled, his voice barely a whispered as he wiped the tears from his eyes, letting his long hair fall over his face and Rick knew he did that on purpose, but he kept his mouth shut.
"It's okay, you have nothing to apologise for." Rick replied in a gentle tone and Daryl just nodded as he stared out at the water in front of them. "I know you, Daryl. You have to let yourself feel it, not bottle it up. I'm here if you want to talk about it, you know that, right?" Rick asked glancing over at Daryl who just nodded slightly, but didn't show any intention of actually wanting to talk about it and Rick sighed, knowing that Daryl was done with this conversation.
The two of them sat there for a few minutes, staring out across the water as the sun got lower in the sky before they both must have clicked to the fact that they had pizza and beer sitting behind them and they both turned around in sink.
Rick chuckled softly motioning for Daryl to go first as he grabbed two bottles of beer while Rick picked up the pizza box and placed it in front of them as Daryl handed him one of the beers.
"To Dale." Daryl said, speaking up for the first time, his voice still slightly wavy as he held up his beer and Rick nodded, tapping his against Daryl's.
"To Dale." Rick repeated as they both took a long drag of their drinks before they began digging into the pizza, only just realising how hungry they were since all they had eaten today was the half stale croissants from the café this morning.
Neither of them really spoke as they sat together on the platform eating pizza and drinking beer as they stared out at the lake taking in the slowly setting sun.
"When are ya goin' home?" Daryl asked, surprising himself that he had actually asked that out loud and seemed to surprise Rick who blinked a few times like he was trying to process the question before he glanced over at him.
"Tomorrow." Rick answered and Daryl nodded, shifting slightly as he leant forward and rested his forearms against his knees fiddling with his hands almost anxiously causing Rick to frown slightly. "Daryl, what is it?" He asked, his voice laced with sudden concern as he stared at the man.
Daryl didn't say anything for a moment as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously which did nothing to ease Ricks worries as he watched the man carefully trying to figure out what was going on his mind before Daryl sighed and dropped his head.
"Last time I was out at the Logging Site... there was this accident, this explosion." Daryl began to say, staring down at his hands in his lap as he spoke and Rick sat up straighter.
"Wait, that was your site? The Alexandria Logging Site? I saw that on the news, you were there?" Rick questioned in shock and Daryl just nodded, biting his thumb nail as Rick stared at him in disbelief.
"Yeah, a crane tipped. Landed on a log pile, an iron bar piercing straight though it's gas tank. A lotta people were trapped underneath the fallen logs, including my friend, Aaron. I managed to get him out 'n to safety, but when I went back to get the others, fire erupted from the engine, lighting the fuel and the crane exploded... scrap metal from the crane hit my face in the process..." Daryl trailed off, motioning towards the scar over his left eye as he looked away from Rick and he stared out along the horizon thinking back to that shocking day.
"I got thrown back into a nearby river, barely had chance to realise what happened before I fell 100 feet down a waterfall into the water... Still got no idea why I didn't drown. The fall alone should've killed me, doctors couldn't figure it out either." Daryl continued to explain as Rick stared at him with wide eyes.
"God, you were lucky." Rick responded, not knowing what else to say as he tried to process what Daryl had just told him as the other man shrugged.
"I saw ya. I had like a... It was like a dream, but it wasn't a dream. Ya were there with me when I was floating in the water 'n it was strange 'cause I hadn't seen ya in so long." Daryl began to say causing Rick to look at him in confusion as the corners of Daryls lips twitched up in a slight smile as thought back to the image of Rick he had seen when he was in the water and thought he was dying. "Then I get out the hospital 'n I get this call 'bout Dale... Then I come here 'n I see ya. 'N it's like... I dunno. Just strange." Daryl shrugged, biting his thumb nail again.
Rick stared at Daryl for a moment unable to figure out how to respond to what he had just said. He didn't even know what that meant or why Daryl had suddenly seen him when he was facing death, but Rick just smiled and shook his head.
"I'm glad you're okay, Daryl." Rick replied, because what else were you meant to say to that?
"Are you okay?" Daryl suddenly asked and Rick looked up in confusion to find Daryl already looking at him with an unreadable expression.
"What do you mean?" Rick asked cautiously, not exactly sure where this conversation was going, but he was pretty sure he didn't like the direction it was heading.
"If you're unhappy with your life, what are ya gonna do? Don't bother lyin' to me man, it might've been a while, but I still know ya. Ya ain't foolin' me." Daryl elaborated and Rick's jaw dropped slightly as he stared at Daryl before he blinked and shook his head as he stood up and began to walk off before Daryl quickly stood up too.
"Wait." Daryl quickly called out, standing up too as Rick turned around with an almost pissed off expression and Daryl knew he had hit a nerve.
"What are ya gonna do?... Ya know what this feels like to me? Fate. I'm tryin' to get my head around it since it all happened. Why the hell am I still here? Why'd I survive 'n not the others? 'N maybe it's 'cause of this, ya know? Maybe it's a chance to see ya again 'n a chance to tell ya how sorry I am. 'N tell ya how much I still love ya." Daryl admitted, not even realising what he had said until it was too late and Ricks mouth opened like he was about to say something before he closed it again, seeming lost for words.
"You want me to fall back in love with you? How do I do that if I haven't ever stopped?" Rick questioned and Daryl knew it was a rhetorical question, but he still couldn't get himself to say anything. He stared at Rick in pure shock before the other man turned around and walked off towards the cabin, leaving Daryl standing there speechless.
-
A/N- So, this will become my regular posting time from now on. Life is really hectic atm, but if I get any free time during the week I will defiantly try post a chapter early.
Anyway, I hope you are all still enjoying this fic, I would love to hear your thoughts about it below, but until next time stay safe everyone and have a great day xx