As soon as I walk downstairs the next morning, I smell the strangest scent wafting up from the kitchen. When I turn the corner, I see it's not related to one of my mother's cooking trials for once but instead my dad's obsession.
"Good morning, angel!" he says with a smile as I wander down groggily. He's wearing khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt that makes him look like some kind of tacky tourist.
"What on earth is that smell?" I ask. He is stirring his pot on the stove and humming away happily.
"It's a new tea I'm brewing. Kumquat and peppermint with a touch of blackberry," It sounds disgusting but certainly accounts for the thick citrus smell in the air. I much prefer my normal black tea, thank you.
"But why?" I ask incredulously as I put the kettle on to boil.
"The blackberry is a natural antioxidant and the kumquat provides flavour and vitamins."
"And the mint?" I ask.
"Ah, that was just so I don't have to brush my teeth in the morning," I give him the most disgusted look I can muster up. "Kidding!" he cries reaching over to mess up my hair.
My parents are such oddballs. It's a wonder I've turned out somewhat okay. I can bet they probably tried feeding me some weird stuff as a kid based off an obscure article they read online about supposed health benefits.
"Whatever," I say pouring my tea and heading back upstairs. I have some homework to do before school tomorrow. Just as I get started with it, I get a text from June asking if he can come over. I'm surprised he'd want to after such an agonizing conversation with my parents last night.
Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time with him. We've been inseparable since we met and we hang out pretty much on a daily basis. It's not like I ever get bored or we run out of things to chat about but I just feel like maybe I should...branch out.
It's only really him and my other friend Jade that I hang out with. I just wonder if most seventeen-year-olds only have two friends, sometimes it feels like everyone knows everyone and I'm just sitting on the outside watching them all.
I should probably talk more, but observing is so much easier.
When I just observe things, I can make up storylines in my head about whatever I want. The lady at the supermarket can actually be a trapeze artist in a travelling circus instead of a sleep-deprived mum who's sick of tying up the shoelaces of toddlers.
The man standing in front of me in the line for coffee isn't simply an intern at some office on a lunch break, but a tortured artist who's too afraid to pursue his real passion.
They can all have crazy interesting lives that make my imagination run rampant and then I can stay where it's safe and comfortable and not have to do anything that's scary.
And I find a lot of things scary.
I think what a lot of people don't realise is just how debilitating only thirteen fears can be. I can't cook anything on the stove and I haven't had any birthday candles on my cake since I was nine because I'm afraid of fire.
I don't wear any make-up and I never learnt how to braid my hair because I'm afraid of mirrors. This also means I avoid looking in any reflective surfaces like my spoon when I eat my cereal and I don't know how to drive because driving requires looking in a rearview mirror. And that's not even scraping the surface.
June texts me to let me know he's outside so I head back down to let him in. I grab his hand and drag him upstairs with me. Last night, he agreed that he would help me overcome each and every one of my fears. There is no way I'd ever be able to do it without him.
"Door open!" I hear my dad call up. They have this rule that if a boy is in mine or Katie's room, we have to leave the door open. The only boys that are ever here anyways are Evan and June.
Katie and Evan have been dating so long that I'm sure they would have had the chance to do anything they wanted, not that she would tell me anything. And June and I, I mean seriously? We're only friends.
I leave it open for his peace of mind anyways and I fall back onto my bed looking up at the cracks in the corner of my ceiling.
For once, my room is actually tidy. Well, as tidy as it gets. I still have a bunch of clutter all over my desk. It's mainly just piles of paper with scribbles and half-finished poems all over them and then there's the floor. I picked up all the clothes but I accidentally spilled this little jar of purple glitter. I have no idea where it came from but now it's embedded into my carpet and I couldn't even get rid of it with the vacuum cleaner.
June sits in my desk chair and spins around, looking at the mess. He picks up a piece of paper, "There are broken eggshells under my feet..." he starts and glances up at me with a smile.
"Hey!" I say grabbing it off him. He knows that my poems aren't for anyone's eyes but mine.
"Can I read just one?" He begs and I shake my head. My poetry is too personal and I don't want anyone knowing me that well, it gives them too much power of me.
"Okay," I say rolling onto my stomach and propping myself up on my elbows. I desperately need a subject change. "Are you gonna help me with my list or what?" He stands up and flops on the bed next to me.
"Well show it to me then," he says. I pull the now tattered paper out of pocket and hand it to him. He reads over it carefully.
"So...?" I probe.
"It's interesting...to say the least. But it seems doable." I smile widely and reach over to scuff up his hair. He pushes my hand away with a smile, "Ready for some ghost hunting then?" I look at him in confusion.
"Ghosts aren't on the list."
"No, but cemeteries are." He jumps up and runs downstairs with me trailing after him. He reaches the garage and flips the switch. "Here we go!" He immediately starts rustling around, passing my various items which I bundle into my arms. It seems he knows my garage better than I do. I dump the pile on the ground and scan over it in puzzlement.
"June, this is ridiculous."
"You're the one who wants my help overcoming these fears and whatnot so we'll be doing it my way." I sigh reluctantly. This is such a classic June thing to do. He always has the wildest ideas.
"Okay but I'm at least bringing Jade for backup."
"Whatever floats your boat," he winks.
An hour later I find myself standing outside the cemetery, shivering in the dark and wondering why I ever let myself be convinced into doing this. Jade stands next to me with a bored look on her face.
"Remind me what we're doing here?" she asks and I just shrug. June slings on his backpack of supplies and hands us each a torch. He has a massive bug net in one hand and an umbrella in the other.
"What in the world?" I ask, shaking my head.
"It's just a precaution," he says, "you'll be thanking me when I save us from a ghost."
"I have no idea what you're planning to do with either of those things but I can tell you right away that if a ghost is here, that won't help in the slightest." He narrows his eyes at me.
"So your an expert on ghosts then?" he asks.
"No, I-"
"Just as I thought," he grins. "Well, I'll have you know I am."
"June, serious-"
"Tut-tut, don't question me or I'll send the ghost hounds after you," he says. I sigh in defeat. He's unbeatable. "Bon voyage!" he cries and starts walking ahead into the cemetery. I can only laugh. When June gets his mind set on an idea, no matter how outlandish it is, he can't be stopped. I take a deep breath and follow after him tentatively. I'm starting to think this whole list thing was a stupid idea.
I pause at the entrance and look inside. June is already halfway down the path. Jade walks past me without hesitation. How are they not completely creeped out by this place? The moon glints eerily and I feel a shiver run down my spine.
"C' mon, loser," June calls out. There are dead people here for God's sake! Can he at least be polite? I take a step inside and shuffle forward. My palms are sweaty and I don't even realise that I've started biting my nails. I feel exposed hanging at the back by myself so I speed up my pace to match that of Jude. Without even comprehending my actions, I look around to find myself in the middle of an abandoned cemetery. A cold shiver runs down my spine and I bite my lip. I don't realise my knuckles are white until June tries to take my hand with a worried expression.
"Woah, Lavender. I didn't realise you'd actually get like this," he says. What did he expect? I told him it was one of my biggest fears. "There's nothing to be scared of," he reassures me. What would he know? I let out a shaky breath and I feel him squeeze my hand. I can do this.
We walk down the narrow paths and I try to keep my eyes straight ahead. The worst part of being in a cemetery is reading the names on the headstones. That makes it real. 'Rosaline Baker, 1972-1988'. I feel a morbid sense of dread wash over and I stop right in my tracks. Sixteen years old, she was almost my age. I imagine her standing in front of me with ivory hair and eyes so dark they look black. Maybe she's jealous that I get to live longer than her? June looks at me carefully. We should never have come here.
I want to close my eyes but they roam over the headstones instead. 'Micheal Tieman, a loving father and a friend to all'. I imagine how his children must've looked standing over his grave with sunken eyes and quivering lips.
'Ariel Hearthridge, Harry Bloom, Jacelyn Cooper, Nathanial, Noah, Yoeseuf, Mary.' The names flash past me and I see every single one standing in front of me. Crying out in anguish. 'Louise Samuels, you will be missed dearly' or forgotton about. Her grave has weeds growing out of it.
Will my grave have weeds growing out of it? I see myself dead and cold deep underground, a daisy growing out of my eye socket. I start to hyperventilate. I can't think of anything else. There is definitely something malevolent in this graveyard. I can feel it. I know it's here. I'm slightly aware that June is speaking to me but I can't understand what he is saying. I reach up and grab the glass pendant around my neck, I feel the smooth, hard surface. The corners of my vision are starting to go black.
A loud bang sounds behind me and I recoil and let out an involuntary scream. We're all gonna die. June looks at me in surprise and I hear a burst of laughter. It's Jade.
"That was freaking hilarious," she cries and I push her in annoyance. My eyes are watering and I try to hold back the tears.
"That wasn't funny," I say in a serious tone which only causes her to laugh harder.
"Okay, enough. Let's go home," June says gently from beside me. I try to gather myself together but my nerves are still on edge. He grabs my arm to guide me gently. I'm shaking. "I'm kinda disappointed there wasn't a ghost. I was really looking forward to catching one with my bug net," he says lightheartedly, trying to cheer me up. I shake off his arm and walk towards the entrance as fast as I can.
This place is really creeping me out and I'm desperate to leave. We walk out in almost silence and I can't help but feel like someone is watching me. Maybe it's Rosaline? The fact that it's dark only adds to my nerves. I step back out of the gate and shake off the feeling, slowly climbing into the car. I lean my head against the window and close my eyes gently. That wasn't so bad, right? I have a feeling it's only going to get harder from here. Cemeteries were one of my smaller fears.
"Geez, remind me to be more gentle with you next time," June says. I'm already doubting that there will even be a next time. At least not with Jade, she did not comfort me at all! She giggles beside me and I glare at her. We've barely even begun and I already want to give up. Facing my fears is going to be a lot harder than I thought.