Part IV
Two weeks had passed since Jisoo's televised speech, and Jennie's progress wasn't something to be discounted. Already, she'd done away with the wheelchair, making the leap to her crutches in record time. Slowly, her leg was healing, recovering from the brutal damage it suffered in the stadium.
Jennie's spirits were considerably higher since Jisoo's speech, but the novelty of the situation had grown old, and the issues she faced were still daily hindrances to her mood.
It was simply frustrating, at times.
Jennie was now coming around to the fact that she wasn't herself, either, and it seemed like a shocking discovery.
She missed the days where she could give Jisoo and Jena the world. The days where she'd play with Jena in the yard, and then pick Jisoo up and whisk her away to bed. She missed the glamour of going out with Jisoo, seeing the photos of their outfits pressed on every news outlet's latest issue.
She missed playing football.
She missed dominating other teams under the open stadium ceiling.
The sounds of rabid fans cheering like spectators in a coliseum, watching gladiators clash again and again.
It was a little like war, Jennie imagined. The blood pumping, the deafening roar in her ears, the glory of success, and victory.
Of course, it was a touch dramatic, but Jennie's yearning to play had only grown since she'd been idle, stuck within the boundaries of their expansive home, too ashamed to do much else.
It was nearing the time for her to get a physical therapist and a trainer back into her life, in order to begin what she knew would a long and frustrating journey.
A journey that didn't guarantee any success.
"Momma!" Jena's voice rang out, and Jennie's attention was immediately drawn from her musings.
In came the toddler, beaming up at her mother like it was the first time she'd seen her in years.
(Jennie loved that, about Jena. It wasn't easy to explain, but with Jena, she had a similar feeling, the way she did with Jisoo: they were always truly happy to see her. Even now, injured and broken and perhaps a tad grumpy, they still lit up when they saw her, and it touched her heart to no end).
Jennie leaned her crutches against the kitchen counter, very carefully managing to pick Jena up and set her on the counter as well.
Jena's eyes were bright and playful, and Jennie felt a tug in her heart.
"Hello." Jena chirped once again, placing her chubby hands in her lap.
"Hi, little sunshine." Jennie cooed, leaning down to kiss her head.
Jena was all dressed and ready for the day, in her little sweats. Jennie smiled to herself. That was Jisoo's work, considering Jena couldn't even pull a shirt over her head.
"Where's mommy?"
"Right here." Jisoo's husky voice purred from behind, and Jennie felt two arms wind around her waist, anchoring her body to Jisoo's.
Slight goosebumps graced her arms as she turned to glance at her wife, who had an absolute twinkle in her eye.
Oh, yeah.
Their sex life had gotten back on track, too.
Jennie had to say, she and Jisoo were particularly happier, after that improvement.
While things weren't back to the way they were, she found so much trust and love from Jisoo's end. At every step, when she doubted herself, Jisoo was there to counter it.
And even with her intimacy, Jennie could tell her confidence was rattled.
She was foolish to even worry about such a thing. Jisoo once again proved why she'd so effortlessly captured Jennie's heart.
She made Jennie feel whole again, as if nothing were wrong.
She was so convincingly unbothered by it all, that Jennie actually began to believe it.
And it was true: Jisoo was just happy to have glimpses of her Jennie back.
"I can hear your mind buzzing." Jisoo chuckled, kissing her shoulder.
Jena's eyes widened. "...bee... in..momma's head?" She pointed to Jennie's head.
"Even worse!" Jisoo played along, shaking her head. "Bad thoughts."
Jena regarded Jennie curiously. "That's not good." She offered her expert opinion on the matter. "Wanna hug?" She offered her arms to Jennie, and Jennie couldn't help but feel moved.
"I'm okay, baby." Jennie assured her, wrapping her arms around Jena, too, feeling at ease with her girls wrapped around her.
"Can we play?" Jena asked hopefully.
At least one person was thoroughly enjoying the whole fiasco- and that was Jena. She wasn't sure what happened, truly, but all she knew was that her moms were both home and spending ample time with her.
And that made her the happiest kid on the block.
"Anything you want." Jennie cooed, leaning down to steal a kiss from a chubby cheek before Jena could even respond.
"Whipped." Jisoo whispered in her ear, leaning back to reach for a mug from the cabinet.
"I am for you, too, so don't complain." Jennie retorted, though it was free of malice, and Jisoo grinned.
"Complain? You're gonna make my ovaries explode."
"What's this about ovaries exploding?" Dara chirped, coming into the kitchen, changed and ready from the previous night's sleepover with Jena. "I'm a doctor, you know." She added with a little smirk.
Jennie immediately reddened at the idea of Dara hearing that, while Jisoo simply offered her mother a wry smile.
"Dara?" Jennie asked politely, turning to glance at her mother-in-law hopefully.
Dara paused, regarding Jennie with a patient gaze.
"Do you think we could discuss my recovery options going forward-"
"Momma!" Jena was suddenly flailing about and practically vibrating with excitement. "Look! Deers!"
Jennie paused her sentence, glancing behind her into the vast acreage of their property. Sure enough, Jennie could see a few deer passing on the hill by the house, Jena's absolute favorite sight.
"Let's go!" Jena all but leapt off the counter, saved by Jennie's good sense and quick arms, wrangling her down to the ground safely.
Jennie glanced at Dara apologetically.
"I'll take her." Jisoo offered, not too pleased with the way Jena was rushing Jennie in her injured state. (Of course, she didn't blame Jena, but she wanted to ensure Jennie wasn't overexerting herself, even for Jena's sake).
"No." Jennie replied almost too quickly. "I can do this. She just wants to go outside and watch." Jennie reminded softly. Turning to Jena, she ran a hand through her daughter's curls. "Remember the rule from last time?"
Jena nodded ecstatically. "Shhhh!" She emphasized, putting a single chubby finger against her lips.
"Okay, let's go." Jennie nudged her softly, and the two slipped out into the yard.
Jisoo watched with a sigh as Jennie laid her crutches down, in favor of picking Jena up. Jena clung to her like a koala, following Jennie's pointer finger, as she taught Jena about the animals they were watching so intently.
"Oh, that's just adorable." Dara murmured to herself, going to make herself a mug of coffee.
"She was going to ask you about her career." Jisoo told Dara the simple fact, heart aching for her love. She deserved all the best, and none of whatever cruel joke this was.
Everything about Jennie was pure.
The way she was holding their daughter right now, pausing every now and then to press a kiss to her soft curls.
All Jisoo wanted was for Jennie to be fully happy again.
"I'm not sure she's going to like what I have to say." Dara drew Jisoo's attention, looking grim.
Jisoo's gaze didn't waver.
She seemed intent on getting her answers, one way or another.
"Jisoo, is this recovery even something the two of you have discussed?" Dara set her hands down on the counter for a moment, her gaze flickering down to them as she broke the news.
"What exactly is there to discuss, mom?" Jisoo pressed, clearly frustrated with the situation. "She got injured, and she'll get better. There isn't even a choice to make, here."
"Well, Jisoo, frankly....she shouldn't be getting her hopes up at all." Dara cleared her throat.
Jisoo's eyes narrowed. "And why is that?"
"Jisoo, the odds are stacked against her. She was already at a disadvantage in the league, purely because of her smaller frame. Take away a sizeable amount of strength and overall durability with an injury like this, and it's even worse. In any case, it would be ill-advised to return to placing such high demands on her body, but in her specific case, Jisoo, it would be dangerous for her to return to the league. Is that something you even considered?"
Jisoo ran her hands through her hair, shaking her head.
"No, it's not."
"I thought not." Dara winced sympathetically. "But it's a conversation you'll want to have, together, possibly."
Jisoo paused for a moment, looking deep in thought.
Finally, she cleared her throat.
"It's a conversation we won't be having."
Dara cocked a brow in surprised. "Jisoo?"
"Mom, she's Jennie Rubyjane Kim. First woman to play pro ball in the NFL, on her way to the hall of fame. I don't get in the way of her goals. She knows the risks, and she's ready. I want to support her however I can."
Dara's eyes glimmered with pride for her daughter, and her daughter-in-law. "Are you sure you want to tell Jennie the odds of her returning to her former stature?" Dara asked carefully. "I would hate for her to get her hopes up for nothing, but telling her may not be the best motivation. In fact, it could end up keeping her from trying as much."
Jisoo turned to glance at her wife through the window, nodding slowly.
"We always tell the truth." Jisoo decided gently.
Dara put her hand on Jisoo's shoulder, consoling her daughter in the softest of ways.
"She's going to be ecstatic, Jisoo."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
*****
"Try saying it. Stethoscope." Dara grinned as Jena held up her new gift, a play doctor's kit, since her favorite hobby was pretending to have a profession, complete with props. (So far she was quite enjoying being a cashier, and charging her mothers for the food they'd already purchased and put away in the kitchen).
"Stefuhscope." Jena repeated in a whisper, eyes wide at the new tools.
"You use it to listen to people's hearts." Dara told her, kneeling in front of the toddler, and reaching for the tool.
She put it over Jena's ears, and stepped back. "How does she look?" Dara smirked, turning to Jisoo and Jennie, who were cuddled on the couch, content to watch their baby play.
"Like Dr. Jena Kim." Jisoo chuckled, and Jennie's eyes twinkled with amusement.
"...no sound." Jena noted astutely.
Dara chuckled. "You have to put it over someone's heart, so you can listen to it."
Jena squinted at her curiously, and then decided to put it over Jennie's heart, after heaving herself onto the couch with great effort.
"Right over her shirt." Dara instructed. "There you go. What do you hear?"
Jena listened for a moment, and then turned to Dara with a curious expression.
"Momma's heart is sad." She informed her sagely, toddling back over to the toolbox, as if there were anything in the plastic toy kit that could mend Jennie's problems.
Dara and Jisoo exchanged a stunned glance.
"I think...she misunderstood what you meant when you said "listen to her heart"..." Jisoo drawled softly, chancing a glance at Jennie, who looked a little stunned by the comment.
Even Jena seemed to notice she wasn't fully herself.
Before Jennie could sulk, Jisoo signaled to Dara that it was time for a distraction.
"Jena!" Dara clasped her hands together. "Wanna go for some ice cream, honey?"
Jena didn't even hesitate. Out of the room like a bat out of hell, she was already waiting by the door, knowing that's where Dara would be.
Dara's eyes widened as she glanced at Jisoo and Jennie, Jisoo giving her a grateful expression.
"We'll be back in a few." Dara promised, and Jisoo nodded, watching her mother leave the room before the true emotions could come out.
*****
Jisoo prided herself on her relationship with Jennie.
Yes, they had a storybook love, full of passion, rarely finding themselves at odds with one another.
But they were also friends, truly. They had the tumultuous, brief era before their relationship, to thank for it.
During that time, under the guise of hating each other, they learned to become friends, first and foremost. The fundamentals of their relationship were forged there; trust, respect, learning to deal with their tempers.
Everything that followed was built upon that initial foundation.
So, simply put, difficult conversations weren't something she needed to fear.
Then why was it so damn hard to look at the woman sitting beside her on the couch and tell her what was going on?
She supposed it was the fear of seeing that spark of hope in Jennie's eyes, only to see it possibly crushed later down the road, if Jennie's recovery didn't pan out.
"Are you going to say something?" Jennie's voice was soft, beckoning Jisoo back to reality.
"Sorry." Jisoo's apology was quick. She hadn't realized that she'd been silent for so long. She took Jennie's hand in hers, squeezing softly.
Jennie squeezed back, and Jisoo absently brought Jennie's knuckles to her lips, kissing them once. Jennie relaxed into her touch, and Jisoo glanced up at her, meeting her gaze.
"I don't want your hopes to skyrocket, even though I know they will, but I'm not going to beat around the bush here. My mom thinks you can start your rehabilitation and training." Jisoo spoke with emphasis on each word, hoping to prompt Jennie to at least let the words soak in before responding.
No such luck.
Jennie's eyes lit up like they hadn't in days, and Jisoo's heart took an unnecessary beating.
"Really?"
"Yes." Jisoo took a breath. "And she wanted me to explicitly cover the...possibilities, with you. Including the negative ones."
Jennie's expression fell a little, and Jisoo kicked herself.
"...But I'm not going to." Jisoo finished.
Jennie's brows furrowed, her expression replaced by one of confusion. "You're not?"
"I'm not." Jisoo confirmed. "I'm not, because I just...don't think the rules apply to you, Jen."
Jennie looked even more confused. "Rules? What are you talking about, Jisoo-"
Jisoo chuckled slightly, shaking her head. "Sorry, I know I'm not making any sense."
"Take your time." Jennie encouraged, rubbing her thumb over Jisoo's hand, easing her wife's demeanor instantly.
"What I'm trying to say is...you're about to embark on a ridiculous journey. You're going to recover from an injury that should have ended your career, and then you're going to not only recover to your full strength, but you're going to exceed it. Because you're Jennie Rubyjane Kim, and I'm hard pressed to find a task that's too difficult for you to accomplish. Why should I bother explaining the risks? It's all white noise to you anyway...and I love that, about you."
Jennie's lip gave a telltale wobble, and she bit down to keep it from giving her away. "Jichu..."
"I know." Jisoo hushed her, cupping Jennie's face in her hands. "You're only happy when you're absolutely pushing yourself to the brink." She shook her head. "Who am I to get in your way?"
Jennie snorted a little messy laugh that had Jisoo somehow falling even more in love with her, as if that were possible.
Jisoo couldn't resist leaning forward to kiss the corner of Jennie's mouth, feeling the smile that was instantly there as her reaction.
"But..." Jennie pulled away for a second, brows knitted once more. "Do you...think I can do it?"
For once, she allowed an ounce of fear to seep into her tone.
Jisoo knew she should've been honored; rarely did Jennie let down all of her walls. She was usually reluctant to show fear or apprehension, even in front of Jisoo.
So Jisoo did what came most naturally, to her.
She scoffed.
"You getting soft on me, Commander?"
Jennie grinned, and Jisoo's heart fluttered, spreading warmth to every inch of her body.
"You better watch your tone, Kim."
Jisoo licked her lips, embarrassingly aroused by Jennie's sudden display of confidence.
It'd been a while since Jennie had gotten back to her cocky self, with little glimpses here and there, barely enough to sustain Jisoo.
She glanced at her watch, noting the time.
"Make me." Jisoo challenged, glancing up at Jennie with a lidded gaze. "...Commander."
Jennie seemed to realize her effect on Jisoo, and seemed to be intent on feeding the fire.
The two collided in a flurry of kisses, occasionally grinning and ruining it, but slowly melting back into one another.
Jennie felt herself short of breath as she traced Jisoo's collarbone over her shirt, face flushed, the two panting.
"Your mom and Jena?" Jennie breathed, letting out a groan as Jisoo set about kissing her neck, making little noises of appreciation at the smell of Jennie's perfume.
"I'd say we have thirty minutes." Jisoo paused to answer, then continued to nip at Jennie's neck.
"I can make that work."
*****
The following week, a picture made headlines, trended on social media, and was spread like a wildfire.
A simple photo, no frills, no exaggeration.
Simply Jennie, her crutches set aside, clad in sweats, walking without assistance, in what appeared to be the team gym.
No caption, no comment.
By the time Jennie got home, kissed her wife and child, and managed to sit in front of the TV, it was understood.
Jennie was on the rise, and so were the expectations for her recovery.
Luckily, expectations were Jennie's expertise.
She smiled as she heard the lofty headlines and saw the photo she'd posted to her social media, blasted on every evening show for the world to see. She smiled when they described the "insurmountable" obstacles that awaited her.
And when Jisoo took her eyes off the screen, and glanced down at Jennie, who laid with her head in Jisoo's lap- she found a sight she surely hadn't expected.
Jennie looked smug as she listened on, absently playing with Jisoo's hand in her own, as if each mentioned obstacle was a tick on her mental "fuck-you" checklist.
(And they were).
*****
There was no way of knowing how the change was going to affect their lives, but Jisoo hadn't imagined it would be this good.
Quickly, they fell into a routine, with Jennie's rehabilitation at the center.
Every single morning, Jennie would wake just before her alarm, and would greet Jisoo with soft little kisses to rouse her before the alarm could.
Jisoo hadn't expected such a shift in Jennie's behavior so soon, but the difference was already night and day.
With the boot taken off her leg as well, Jennie's spirits were high.
Every single morning, she and Jisoo would wake up together, bright and early.
From there, Jennie made a habit of going to Jena's room, knowing full well the toddler would shriek in excitement every time. (Usually she would play in her room until she would eventually come and wake them later in the morning).
From there, Jennie would get Jena ready for her day, dressing her, watching her morning cartoons with her, and frankly just enjoying every second of her daughter's company.
Jisoo would emerge from their room, freshly showered and radiant (and Jennie ensured that Jisoo knew, every single morning).
After a kiss and some dragged out farewells (even though they'd be separated for a few hours, at most), Jisoo and Jena would go to the gallery with Jisoo, and Jennie would train.
Jennie made a habit of coming home early and making dinner ready for Jisoo and Jena, just for the twinkle of appreciation and surprise in Jisoo's eyes, every time.
The rest of the evening was spent playing with Jena, with Jisoo in tow, until she'd finally settle in for sleep, adamant that she wanted to stay awake and play even more.
And finally, Jennie and Jisoo would retire to bed, exhausted in the best way, dozing off on top of each other like they used to, when they were back in college.
And so, a routine was quickly formed.
On the other hand, however, Jennie's progress wasn't as easily built.
In fact, it was much more difficult than she'd anticipated.
*****
Jennie woke up, her body jolting as her eyes flew open.
She immediately registered a few things: the soft caress of Jisoo's hand against her cheek, the dim light of the bedroom, the unsettling feeling in her stomach.
She'd had another bad dream again.
The same kind of dream that had been plaguing her, since she resumed her training.
"Hey." Jisoo's voice was soft, soothing Jennie's troubled mind. "I'm right here."
Jennie didn't need to look up at her face to know that Jisoo was frowning.
"You were having a nightmare." Jisoo murmured, meeting Jennie's eyes.
Jennie swallowed the lump in her throat. Finally, Jisoo caught her in the act.
She'd have to be more careful, if Jisoo knew this was becoming a nightly occurrence, she'd be distraught.
"Yeah." Jennie licked her lips, slowly coming back to reality. "I...don't remember what it was about." She lied, relaxing when she saw some of the tension leave Jisoo's posture.
"You sure?" Jisoo asked, kissing her cheek.
"Mmm." Jennie's hum was her only response.
She turned to fully face Jisoo, the two embracing as she ducked her head into Jisoo's neck, taking a deep breath. She allowed the moment to wash over her, savoring it for a while before finally glancing at her wife.
Jisoo's smile was brilliant, and Jennie just knew she couldn't sully her newfound happiness with whatever negative thoughts were plaguing her.
"I love you." Jennie whispered, sincere and soft.
"I love you more." Jisoo countered, pausing to tuck a stray strand of hair away from Jennie's face. "And I know this has been a hard time for you, but...I've really enjoyed having you home, so much." Jisoo confessed.
Jennie felt the gnawing of guilt in her stomach.
She'd missed out on so much because of her career, and now, she was realizing just how much. It was bittersweet, spending all this time with Jisoo and Jena, never traveling from city to city like she had to when she was healthy.
Every morning with Jisoo, every little giggle and shriek from Jena, every walk with Fish. Little things Jennie had somehow just...forgotten along the way.
"When are you going to learn, Jen?" Jisoo rolled her eyes, drawing Jennie's attention from her thoughts, once again.
Shit, had she been spacing out?
"Learn what?" Jennie furrowed her brow in confusion.
"Not to hide things from me, I can tell when you're upset." Jisoo informed her with a hint of amusement.
Jennie balked.
"I'm not upset."
"Eight years of friendship, and this is what I get?" Jisoo scoffed. "You're way quieter than usual, and you know damn well what your dream was about."
"Jichu Kim." Jennie tsked slowly, letting the name roll off her tongue. "Don't you trust me?" Jennie hooked her leg over Jisoo's to illustrate her point, smiling when the brunette's breath hitched.
"Don't try to get out of this." Jisoo warned, but her resolve was weak, and Jennie could feel it.
"There is nothing to worry about." Jennie informed her, stopping awfully close to Jisoo's lips, glancing up with a playful look. "Okay?"
"This doesn't sit well with me, but I'm dropping it because we're about to be interrupted in three....two...one..."
The sound of footsteps increased in both volume and frequency as their toddler barreled into the room, Fish trotting in behind her, watchful as ever.
"Hello Mommas!" Jena greeted with such excitement, one would think she were meeting her lifetime heroes rather than her own parents.
"Fish, UP!" She puffed her chest out and proudly issued the command.
"Jena don't-"
Jennie and Jisoo took cover as the dog leapt onto the bed, settling in between them, followed by Jena herself. The toddler grabbed at anything she could with her chubby little hands, smooshing various body parts on Jisoo and Jennie until she settled into her favorite spot.
Jisoo and Jennie exchanged amused glances, still holding hands in the unrecognizable mess that had become their bed.
"Hello, little sunshine." Jennie cooed, unable to resist reaching out for a hug.
Jisoo smirked, shaking her head. Jennie was always too soft when it came to Jena.
Jena settled comfortably on Jennie's chest, hands coming to pat Jennie's cheek, as if she were the baby.
"Your leg?" Jena asked, turning to look at it, frowning when it was safely tucked away under the sheets.
"It's better!" Jennie enthused, fighting away the guilt.
"Strong?" Jena asked, brows raised.
"Yes, it's getting stronger." Jennie promised.
"Good." Jena nodded to herself. "So we play more."
"That's right." Jennie promised, softly stroking Jena's cheek. "So we can play more."
Jisoo watched the exchange with a slight suspicion, one that only grew throughout the day.
*****
What Jennie hadn't told Jisoo (or Jena, for that matter) about was the pain and suffering she'd been enduring each day at training, and the mixed results that followed.
It was one thing to get her leg moving, again, after removing the cast.
It started simple: walking unaided, stretches, simple physical therapy.
When her leg healed enough to be walked on, however, came the true challenges.
Any exertion usually ended up with Jennie cramping, biting her lip down to keep from crying out in front of the team's trainers, and physical therapist.
She struggled with jogging, running was off limits, still, and she found that rehabilitation was the most frustrating experience in the world.
Yes, it was one thing to train one's body to endure extreme physical activity. That was challenging in its own right. To push oneself to the edge, to distinguish oneself through thousands and thousands of hours of grueling work. To do it all one time in her life was a goddamn miracle itself, but a repeat performance?
Jennie wondered if she truly was asking too much of herself.
There was nothing more frustrating than not being able to complete tasks that she used to perform every day, with little to no struggle.
Oh, what she took for granted.
Running, agility, the swiftness with which she could dance around incoming defenders.
Now, she was sluggish, all of her finesse stripped away, and she was a shadow of the player she was.
It really seemed like quitting was one of the best options.
But she'd close her eyes and remember her baby toddling into the room with her jersey, and the look on Jisoo's face when she brought home her first championship trophy, and she simply refused to let it slip away.
And that's why she was currently gripping her leg, bunched up into a ball on the floor of the training facility, wincing and shaking in the pain she was currently trying to deny feeling.
Kneeling before her was the team's physical therapist, shaking his head as he tried to console the aching player.
"I told you we weren't ready for that kind of movement, Jennie. We're barely getting the greenlight to have you moving about unaided, but-"
"I. Know." Jennie gritted out, the sting of tears in her eyes as she furiously blinked them away.
"You can't keep pushing yourself like this. I understand getting back out there is a priority for you, but at this rate, you're going to be self destructive. If you would just consider wearing the brace-"
"I'm not wearing a brace." Jennie scoffed messily, tilting her head back to finally get some air. "I am in the public eye twenty-four seven. I already announced my return to training. That brace-" Jennie uttered the word with as much distaste as she could muster "-is a step backwards."
Her pride wouldn't let her, certainly not in front of Jisoo and Jena, who'd gotten their hopes up at the prospect of Jennie finally returning to her normal self.
She refused to kill all that momentum, per some physical therapist's recommendation.
Jennie felt a hand on her shoulder, and when she glanced up, she noticed her physical therapist's face turning pale as he quickly got to his feet.
"Mrs. Kim, I didn't know you'd be coming in today." He offered apologetically.
Jennie's heart dropped into her chest.
This couldn't be right.
Jisoo was supposed to be at the gallery, with Jena.
The look on Jisoo's face was more than enough to get the message across.
"I'll rejoin you in a few moments." He wisely excused himself from the room, leaving Jisoo, Jennie, a spongy floor mat, and a whole lot of unused equipment and a lot of tension between the two.
Jennie wanted to open up her mouth to say something, but the only thing she could manage was, "Jena?"
"My mom." Jisoo answered, coming to sit beside Jennie. She mirrored her wife, sitting beside her, pulling her legs up into her chest, resting her chin on her knee.
In that moment, Jennie felt an eerily beautiful sense of deja vu.
The walk didn't take very long at all, the small little field was just over the hill to the left of the football field, and Jisoo had frequented the spot almost religiously in her freshman year, using the bright colors as inspiration for her paintings.
Jennie was sitting facing away from her, knees drawn up to her chin, on the downward slope of the hill, staring out at the multitude of flowers, looking so much smaller than Jisoo had ever seen her.
Wordlessly, the brunette moved to sit next to Jennie, drawing her knees up in a similar fashion.
The two of them sat in silence for a while, just looking at the flowers. Jisoo wasn't sure how she felt in that moment, but there was a flowing sense of calm, of coexistence, and she could feel her stress melting like evaporating dewdrops, coaxed away gently by the mid-morning sunshine. Their shoulders were barely brushing, as Jisoo didn't want to intrude on Jennie's personal space, but the brunette didn't shy away from her as expected.
Wordlessly, Jisoo leaned into Jennie slightly, and the other girl melted into her touch, left hand easily accepting Jisoo's right, and sighing contentedly when Jisoo began to rub small, comforting circles on the back of her palm.
Jisoo didn't know how long the two of them sat there, Jennie drawing comfort from her silent companion. It might have been an eternity or a few fleeting moments, but they were at peace.
High school.
The realization hit Jennie like a ton of bricks, and she swore she felt a fresh wave of emotion collide with her body.
Jennie seemed to calm only when she realized that Jisoo wasn't there to talk.
She wasn't there to ask Jennie why she was hiding her pain, or why she was bothering with this herculean task.
She already knew why, because she knew Jennie better than she knew anyone or anything else in the world.
She knew Jennie was too proud, unfairly brought up like this because of her absent parents, taught that weakness was to be overcome, at any cost.
She knew better than to tell Jennie to stop trying, too, because that simply wasn't an option.
So she did the next best thing.
She leaned against her wife, bumping her side softly.
At first, Jennie was still, but she slowly melted into Jisoo's side, grateful for the warmth she provided.
Eventually, Jisoo slowly wound her arm around Jennie, drawing her into her side. She pressed a kiss to Jennie's head, wordlessly holding her best friend close, ensuring that there was no way she could feel alone in her pain, without the burden of explaining herself.
Because in the end, she didn't have to.
She didn't have to justify herself to Jisoo.
Jisoo was always so good at knowing just what she needed; Jisoo was in tune with every emotion, every fear, every feeling she'd ever experienced.
Jisoo was simply the greatest gift.
And she'd be damned if she forgot it over something as trivial as a game.
"I'm so confused, Jichu." Jennie murmured finally, breaking the silence that hung in the air like a thick fog, engulfing them both, leaving them to feel for each other instead.
"I know." Jisoo offered gently.
"I...lose what I'm good at...and then I realize how much I've missed." Jennie explained softly. "I...realized how much time I'm losing. With you, and with Jena, and everything else. And now I might have a chance to fix this...but I don't know if I can, and everyone expects me to. And if I succeed here, I'll lose you and Jena again."
Jisoo's brow furrowed. "You never lost us, Jennie. Don't say-"
"As backwards as this is, these last few weeks with you and Jena have been perfect, Jisoo. I feel like I'm finally seeing you both. I missed you so much, when I was playing, I didn't even realize how much it took out of me."
Jisoo nodded slowly. "But we knew that, Jen. We knew it wouldn't be easy, but it's what you wanted to do. We found a way to make it work, and we'll do it again. Is that what's been keeping you up, baby?"
Jennie found herself melting at the term of endearment, so clearly in need of love, since she'd denied herself any, by keeping it from Jisoo.
"That's...part of it." Jennie sighed, and Jisoo nodded in understanding.
"We don't have to talk about it." Jisoo offered. "You know...one thing my dad really liked to do, when he was in difficult situations like this...he'd always know when I was too choked up for words. He always knew how to make me feel better, and he'd say, 'we don't have to talk about it, kiddo. Just squeeze my hand'....and it always worked. I was always too choked up to talk, and he was so good at consoling me. It was hard to pick up, after he died. But maybe it still has some magic." Jisoo chuckled and offered her hand to Jennie, the rings glimmering on their fingers when they joined together under the light.
Jennie smiled, unable to resist, and Jisoo's grin made her heart stutter.
She didn't know if it was truly Seunghyun's magic, or her best friend's grin, or maybe just the company after holding it all in for some time, but Jennie felt a wave of catharsis wash over her with just a simple touch.
*****
It felt like a burden was lifted off of Jennie's shoulders, once Jisoo had learned about her not-so-smooth path to recovery.
The struggles continued, but the fact that she knew she couldn't disappoint the one person who meant everything to her made her feel invincible.
Jisoo had taken to surprising Jennie here and there at the training facility, and Jennie knew she didn't have to hide her discomfort.
Jisoo always came with a supportive smile, and sometimes she even brought Jena, who would clap and cheer at literally everything Jennie did.
Anything.
Jennie would reach for her water bottle, and Jena would look up at her like she was some sort of god.
Jennie had to admit.
It was pretty hard not to smile with a fan as rabid as Jena.
There were small victories here and there, slowly and painfully giving way to Jennie's ironclad will. First it was walking, and when Jennie finally made headway, it wasn't long before she was running.
She was finally cleared to return to non-intensive physical activity, and Jisoo hadn't seen her wife this happy since Jena was born.
The first morning Jennie was finally cleared to run, she'd set an alarm for what was practically the crack of dawn, in Jisoo's opinion.
She'd woken up without a sound, taking in a moment or two just to gaze lovingly at Jisoo's peaceful face, her wife not yet awake.
She laced up her running shoes, feeling a strong sense of nostalgia just by running her fingers over the laces.
There was something alive within her, an energy she felt she'd been missing since the accident.
It thrummed and worked its way around her entire body, an electric sort of feeling that left Jennie just the slightest bit breathless.
She was careful not to wake Jena as she crept past her room, stopping only when she stepped outside the front door.
Everything was still dark, untouched by the morning light, and the air was cold enough to make Jennie's cheeks rosy.
She found herself appreciating things she once took for granted.
She could move about unaided, she had her dream career and life in the palm of her hand, she spent so much time with her daughter that she truly knew everything about her.
She couldn't believe how much she'd simply...overlooked.
When she took off and ran, it felt like a part of her had come back to life. The rhythmic pounding of her sneakers against the pavement, the scenery of the rolling hills that encased their quiet neighborhood, it was quite a victory lap.
By the time Jennie got home, the sun had made its way up over the hills, casting everything in a yellow light, still soft in its presence.
The house was quiet and serene, and when Jennie entered the bedroom, Jisoo was beginning to stir. She cracked an eye open, blindly reaching out for Jennie in her usual spot, frowning when she felt nothing.
Immediately she sat upright, concerned, but relaxed when Jennie cooed a gentle, "I'm here" from the doorway.
Jisoo's gaze softened and a lazy smile found its way to her lips.
"Hey." She rasped, her tone husky. Her eyes raked Jennie's body, drinking in the sight of her wife in a tank top and tights, all sweaty and flexing after a long run.
It'd been a while since Jennie felt that unique mixture of pride and arousal, and it gathered in the pit of her stomach as Jisoo's eyes fell to her exposed arms, settling in her biceps, where her tattoo sat.
"You already ran." Jisoo spoke again, more of a statement, licking her lips as it was clear she couldn't focus properly.
"Mhmm." Jennie hummed, unable to keep a smirk off her full lips. She came over to the side of the bed, and Jisoo gripped her shoulders, getting up on wobbly knees to come face to face with Jennie.
"I did." Jennie nodded, fiddling with the strap of Jisoo's skimpy top, an old tank top she really only wore to bed.
"You look like you enjoyed it." Jisoo murmured, tracing a finger down Jennie's abs, right over her shirt.
Jennie shivered slightly, and Jisoo couldn't deny it.
It was too damn sexy. Jennie's confidence seemed to be on the rise once more, and Jisoo was perhaps a bit too delighted by that.
Jennie's hands traveled to Jisoo's hips, settling possessively over them as they always seemed to. She gave a squeeze before pulling Jisoo up against her, annoyed by the small distance between them.
The moment of no return was passed as soon as Jisoo and Jennie exchanged a glance and were suddenly frantically kissing.
They could barely catch their breath, desperate and needy, reminiscent of their high school days. Jisoo was just as convinced then, that Jennie was some ridiculously beautiful goddess so far out of her league that it hurt. Jennie still looked at Jisoo as if she put the stars in the sky.
That would never change.
But with this injury in the rearview mirror, she could ensure that she was just a little more worthy of her, knowing full well not she nor anyone else could ever deserve Jisoo Kim.
Jisoo nipped at Jennie's lower lip, teasing and loving at the same time as she paused to kiss the freckle on Jennie's upper lip.
She took a moment to appreciate the true greatness of Jennie's beauty. Her long lashes, her full lips, that sharp jawline, the soft dimples that formed when Jisoo would kiss the corner of her mouth.
As usual, in one moment they were frantically trying to express their love for each other, and in the next, they were slowly kissing, taking their time.
Jisoo realized it was getting a bit too sinful when she realized there was another sound, besides that of their kisses and ragged breaths.
Little footsteps.
Jisoo gasped against Jennie's lips, and it was truly comical the way Jisoo's shoulders sagged for a moment.
They turned to the doorway, expecting to find Jena with her usual morning greeting.
Instead, they found Fish, sitting in the doorway to their room, wagging his tail before moving to leap onto the bed, curling up there.
Squinting at the clock, Jennie sighed in relief. "We have an hour." She informed Jisoo.
Jisoo smirked, eyes twinkling with amusement. "Shower?"
Jennie responded by scooping Jisoo up in her arms, barely giving Jisoo a chance to hide her squeal by burying her face in Jennie's shoulder.
"Jennie Rubyjane Kim." Jisoo hissed. "You're going to re-injure yourself."
"The day I can't sweep you off your feet is the day I die." Jennie informed her with a cheeky grin, especially when Jisoo rolled her eyes at her antics.
They closed the door behind them, and in just a few seconds, hot water was falling from the showerhead on the ceiling, and the couple was stripping their clothes.
Jennie felt her mouth go dry when Jisoo's clothes hit the floor, and the brunette sauntered over to the shower door, cocking a brow.
"You coming, Commander?" She drawled, and Jennie couldn't nod fast enough.
She peeled off her clothes, tugging her hair free of the ponytail it was in, and felt Jisoo pull her right in.
*****
Jisoo had quite a few guilty pleasure that she didn't think she'd ever really get over.
One of them had to be, by far, her showers with Jennie.
She and Jennie normally couldn't shower together, simply due to the fact that neither of them would ever get anything done, so busy staring at each other the whole time.
So, yes, they weren't the most efficient way to clean up.
But boy, were they Jisoo's favorite.
She couldn't even really recall where the shower ended and the sex began.
And that was just how she liked it.
Hot water rushing down her body, creating gorgeous fast running streams and rivulets, dipping between the valley of her breasts, right past the apex of her thighs. Jets of water that were literally installed solely for the purpose of massaging; was there anything more Jennie than that?
And, speaking of Jennie...
What truly made the double showering experience so perfect was Jennie.
Her hands all over Jisoo, hungry, roaming, insatiable for the goddess before her.
The constant closeness. Especially with the way they'd hold each other, whether it was to ensure that they wouldn't fall, or just a lack of maneuverability, they were always so close.
The kisses under the steamy waterfall, the barely audible, soft thudding of skin hitting the shower tile with every thrust, every grunt, moan, and whisper.
Jisoo realized how much of Jennie's self confidence was dictated by her game.
(Hint: almost all of it).
Now that there was hope, and progress, it seemed as if new life had been breathed into Jennie, finally.
Jisoo could feel it.
In every whispered "I love you, Jichu", every kiss Jennie would place against her skin, every loving bruise she'd leave behind with those full lips.
When she knelt down, and looked Jisoo straight in the eyes with the most intense, romantic gaze before parting her thighs with a kiss.
And of course, Jisoo gave as much as she got, ensuring that there was no possible way Jennie could ever think that she wouldn't be the greatest thing to ever happen to Jisoo.
Jisoo told her as much in between orgasms that racked Jennie's body, shaking and threatening to falter in the steady grinding motion she'd worked against Jisoo's hand, her face buried in the crook of Jisoo's neck, her sobs well-muffled.
So much catharsis had occured in the short amount of time they had, they were surprised to find it really only had been an hour.
"My legs are shaking, Jen, geez."
Jennie looked soft, her skin dewy with little drops of water clinging to her, a towel wrapped around her as she stood in front of the mirror.
She immediately dropped what she was doing, turning to Jisoo with a frown. "I'm sorry-"
Jisoo grinned.
Only Jennie would fuck her until her legs got shaky and then apologize for the inconvenience.
"-Don't you apologize."
Jisoo's smile was infectious, and it quickly spread to Jennie.
Jisoo cupped Jennie's cheeks, truly studying every detail she could. Every freckle, every line, every beautiful component that made up her soulmate.
"Jennie Rubyjane." Jisoo spoke slowly, deliberately, commanding Jennie's attention. She was so in love with her, with the woman whose face she cradled in her hands, it was making it difficult to breathe. "I love you more than anything, or anyone. Always."
Jennie move to say something, but Jisoo cut her off.
"Always." Jisoo continued, never breaking the verdant gaze from her own stare. "Baby, I know you haven't always been able to say this, but you can now, and forever. You have two people in your life who you could never disappoint. Like I said: football, no football, rich, poor, sick, healthy, none of it matters. Do you know that?"
Jennie nodded slowly, and Jisoo wasn't sure if it was the water droplets or the tears that clung to her lashes.
"Good." Jisoo leaned forward, sharing a slow kiss with Jennie.
Jennie sighed into it, and Jisoo felt a surge of warmth in her chest.
It felt good to have Jennie in her arms, it felt like she could breathe again.
"Also..." Jisoo huffed, putting a hand on her chest. "Good to see you haven't lost any stamina."
Jennie grinned at that, and Jisoo laughed.
"What do you say we change and then take a nice nap?" Jennie offered enticingly, knowing damn well it was just what Jisoo wanted. "Or I could bring you breakfast in bed, and-"
"HELLO MOMMAS!" Jena shouted as she busted into the bedroom. "It's doggy day!"
"Funny, judging by our shower I would've guessed it was missionary day."
"Jennie!" Jisoo muffled her snort of laughter. "She means it's sunday, and the adoption center is open."
"Who told her that dangerous information?" Jennie feigned surprise, pulling her shirt over head.
"She asked me why there was a dog in the street on our way to the gallery, and after I explained what shelters are, she wanted to go. We don't even have to get anything, Jen, but she's been great all week so I promised we'd go."
"Oh, I'm fine with it. But just so you know, Ms. Kim..." Jennie drawled. "We're definitely coming home with another dog. Don't lie to yourself."
"Me? Please, you're the one who's whipped for that toddler." Jisoo scoffed, the two getting in each other's faces again, arguing just like in high school.
"Fine. But only because she reminds me of her mother when she's set her heart on something, and what can I say? I like seeing her smile." Jennie shrugged, smiling in surprise when Jisoo rolled her eyes and tugged her down for yet another kiss.
"I'm also whipped for you." Jennie reminded Jisoo softly, speaking against her lips. "Is there anything you want?"
"Just for you to be happy again." Jisoo answered instantly, and Jennie felt a pang of regret for even letting Jisoo think she wasn't the happiest wife alive.
"I am." Jennie promised, kissing Jisoo's head, feeling Jisoo's arms wrap around her. "I am."
*****
"Good to see you coming out of your hidey hole, Kim." Chanyeol's smile was genuine, and he was the last person Jennie expected to see when they pulled up to the animal shelter, already bustling with people for the special adoption event.
Jena practically leapt out of Jennie's arms at the sight of one of her favorite uncles.
"Yolie!" She shrieked, causing Jennie and Jisoo to exchange a startled glance.
She ran over to him, as fast as her chubby little legs would carry her, right into his embrace.
"Jena!" Chanyeol's demeanor instantly softened, and Jisoo could barely recognize their friend. He was grinning ear to ear, clearly enjoying the company of their toddler.
"It would seem I have a rival for Jena's affections." Jennie tsked, smiling when Jisoo snuck an arm around her waist. '
"Just a little." Jisoo kissed her pout away.
"I didn't know you were going to be here." Jennie smirked. "Although now that I think of it, I should've known, what with your soft spot for kittens and puppies and babies-"
"Still a cocky fuck, aren't you?" Chanyeol smirked right back, grateful that Jena was distracted by the many animals that were just inside the shelter in front of them.
"My leg was damaged, not my brain."
"Right, well, what can I say? I feel at home with the strays."
"Oh." Jennie tsked, "Chanyeol, you'll always have a home with us." She drawled, and Jisoo wasn't at all surprised to see the two hug, despite their back and forth.
Park Chanyeol and Jennie Kim were close friends.
Jisoo shook her head. What a time.
"Momma." Jena whined softly, turning to Jennie. "Amimals." She pointed with a chubby finger.
Jennie's smile softened as she gazed at her daughter. "You're right, better not keep her waiting any longer. Remember Jena, we have to be nice and quiet, and we don't touch unless someone tells us it's safe, right?"
"Yes." Jena agreed, willing to do and say anything at that point to get rid of this torturous waiting.
(It had been about a minute since they'd parked, but she had no patience for such idle behavior, especially when there were baby animals nearby).
Inside the shelter was pure madness.
Couples, families, anyone and everyone seemed to be intent on adopting an animal.
It was touching to see, but it also made for a very disappointed Jena, who'd march down the rows, cage by cage, only to be told the animals inside were already adopted.
"This one?"
"Adopted."
"This one?"
"Sorry, Jena-"
"This one?"
"No-"
"This one-"
"No-"
"This one?"
It was clear that Jena was intent on asking the same question in front of every cage.
Jennie chuckled. "If it has that big red tag on the outside of the cage, it means someone already bought the animal already, baby."
"But..." Jena's lip quivered as she turned to the scruffy little grey chihuahua that sat on the other side of the cage, yapping at Jena with a high pitched tone.
Chanyeol snorted. "Looks like Sehun."
Jennie had to hide her laugh in Jisoo's shoulder for a second, before clearing her throat.
"Maybe we should try another row?" Jisoo suggested.
The quest for a pet continued, as Jena waved to nearly every animal she passed. It was touching to see, really, how much she wanted to give one a home. Jennie had to admit, she was surprised that even the older dogs and cats had been taken so quickly.
Noting Jena's continuous downward spiral, Jennie slipped away for a second, tracking down one of the volunteers.
"Excuse me." She cleared her throat gently, and the lady turned, eyes widening a bit when she realized just who had claimed her attention.
"Oh. Oh my god! You're-"
"Jennie. Right." Jennie glanced around quickly, hoping not to attract any crowds at such an event. Luckily, they all seemed to be preoccupied with the animals.
"How can I help you?" The volunteer brightened, clearly starstruck in some capacity.
"I was actually looking to adopt a dog today." Jennie admitted. "But we made it here a little late, and it doesn't seem like there are any left unadopted. Is this the case?"
The lady pondered the question for a moment, and then shook her head. "We do have a few animals that we don't just put up for adoption- they require extra care. But that's probably not what you're looking for."
Jennie perked up slightly. "Extra care?" She repeated.
The lady nodded. "Why don't you follow me?"
She took off down a row, and Jennie followed her to the back, a room clearly not meant to be open to the public. Inside were several more cages and carriers, and Jennie felt her heart constrict slightly at the knowledge that these animals wouldn't all be going home today, like the ones outside.
"We have a border collie who just came in, he's very playful actually. He's not-" The words were lost on Jennie as she locked eyes with an intelligent chocolate gaze.
She stopped following the volunteer almost immediately.
In a cage against the far wall was a beautiful german shepherd. At first, Jennie thought it was the darkness of the cage, but she soon realized that the dog's coat was almost pure black.
"Who's this?" Jennie asked, and the moment the words came out of her mouth, the dog cocked its head curiously to the side, just like Jennie did when she was confused.
The volunteer stopped, turning to follow Jennie's gaze. "Oh! That's...Shadow. Well, she doesn't respond to that, but that's what the papers say. She's a former military K9, and she's...around two, I think." Her voice sounded proud, but her expression was a grimace. "She's very friendly, actually. Very calm, surprisingly."
"Surprisingly?" Jennie asked gently.
"Do you mind?" The volunteer asked, and Jennie blinked.
"Oh, no." Jennie murmured, as the volunteer moved to open the cage.
"Hi, girl." She cooed. "Hi, Shadow." The dog glanced up at her with curious eyes, as if hesitant to come out of the cage.
Jennie took a cue she'd learned from time with Jena. With the utmost effort, she gritted her teeth and slowly sank to her knees, in an attempt to make herself look less threatening.
In her kneeling position, with her teeth gritted in pain, Jennie watched the dog slowly begin her approach, with each step revealing more of her magnificence as she exited the cage.
"Hi." Jennie greeted softly. At first, she couldn't tell, but after a few steps, Jennie realized what she was seeing.
With each step, the dog's body dipped down slightly, and it was then that Jennie noticed the absence of the dog's front leg and paw, as if it had never been there at all.
"She was injured and her owner...well, I'm not too certain." The volunteer admitted.
Jennie could barely hear her, forgetting all about her own pain for a minute.
Intelligent eyes regarded her with a gaze she couldn't quite place. She was beautiful, and she came to slowly sniff Jennie's outstretched hand before rubbing her head against it.
She looked no less fierce, no less striking, not at all any less than the majestic beauty she was, with kinder eyes than Jennie could fathom.
Her tail began to wag, and Jennie grew confident, slowly scratching at the spot between her ears, enjoying herself far too much.
She was so happy, it was impossible to tell that she'd suffered any kind of pain, and that she'd overcome great obstacles just to return to normalcy.
But she still wanted it, Jennie could tell.
She hadn't given up, despite everything.
Jennie realized she could stand to learn a lesson or two from her.
"Do you think you could keep her here for just a moment? I want to bring my family."
*****
Jennie made the dash back to Jisoo, Jena, and Chanyeol like a madwoman, finding them peering at some empty cages once more.
"Jen? Where'd you go?" Jisoo greeted her, surprised when Jennie took her hand, and scooped up Jena in the other.
"We goin home?" Jena asked dejectedly.
Jennie shook her head, kissing Jena's head. "I have someone I want you to meet."
*****
"So fluffy." Jena mumbled for the trillionth time that evening, splayed out on their living room floor, sandwiched in between Fish, and their new dog, who looked quite comfortable already.
Jisoo and Jennie were cuddling just behind them, on the couch, watching Jena carefully as she cuddled with the newest addition to their family.
(The only person who didn't seem to get the memo was Goose, the cat grumpily opting to nap on Jennie's pillow in the bedroom, instead).
"Soft." Jena cooed, continuing her nonsensical chants of enjoyment as she patted the dogs once more. "Kuma."
Jisoo grinned in amusement.
"Kuma" was quickly replacing "Shadow" as the dog's new name, and Jennie couldn't admit that she was half honored, half quizzical that their daughter would name their dog after her. (*Commander)
"It's cute." Jisoo argued, fully involved in her childish game of footsie with Jennie at the end of the couch. "She's honoring you."
"She's naming the dog after her mom."
"She thinks you're a hero."
"I'm an athlete. That dog is a war hero."
Jisoo stroked Jennie's cheek. "Not comparing here, but you know...you're our hero."
Jennie went silent for a moment, and Jisoo seized the opportunity to kiss the corner of her mouth.
"People weren't going to give her another chance." Jennie murmured softly, nodding to Kuma, who eyed Jennie with a knowing sort of gaze. "What if I'm not going to get one, either?"
"You're overlooking the most important part. She had you from the second you saw her." Jisoo was, after all, an expert on how long it took Jennie to completely fall in love. "And she wouldn't be denied. You two might be injured, but you're persistent."
Jennie blew out a laugh, shaking her head as she took in the regal german shepherd, watching Jena with a careful gaze.
"I'm pretty sure she's proof that you can still have everything you want." Jisoo insisted, carding her fingers through Jennie's brunette waves.
Brown eyes met brown, and Jennie felt affection overtake every thought, emotion, every feeling she had.
"I already do."
* * ©EffortlesslyOpulent * *
* * ©sam_kom_trashkru * *
Note: I changed dog's name into Kuma! :) There's also Part V!