"The touch of someone else to save me from myself"
Things were quiet when I slipped into the Gryffindor Common Room. After all, it was Sunday morning, and there was no reason for most people to be up yet. I had almost reached the door to my own dormitory when a thought occurred to me and I stopped, doubling back to the sixth year dorm. After hesitating for only a moment, I tapped softly on the door -- once, then twice, then once, then twice. The signal was something we had developed years ago, and it would tell Lysa -- the only morning person out of the six girls in her year -- that I was standing outside.
I counted the seconds that followed, and was somewhere around nineteen when the door swung open, and Lysa (wearing nothing but a huge yellow t-shirt that reached almost to her knees) cocked an eyebrow at me. "Good morning," she said, her mouth turning up into a smirk as she glanced me over. "Although it seems possible you never went to sleep."
I was in yesterday's clothes. I had expected her to notice, of course, but what if someone else did? I couldn't have people suspecting anything; this had to be covered up. It was the only way I would survive it.
Lysa, apparently reading my thoughts, whispered, "You can put on something of mine," and dragged me inside, shutting the door behind her. Then, she aimed her wand (which I just now noticed she had been holding all along) at the sleeping girls and cast a muffliato before saying, "I want all the details, okay? From beginning to end."
Even though I know her roommates can't hear, I glance at them and cringe before saying, "It's nothing to get excited over, Ly."
"Bollocks; you're hooking up with Scorpius Malfoy! It's basically the most interesting thing that's ever happened to me."
As she spoke, my friend tossed me a tank top and a zip-up hoodie. I took them, then shook my head. "You might want to use the past tense."
The blonde girl sat down cross-legged on her bed, brow creased as she thought over her last statement, and then her smile drooped. "Did something happen? Are you two... broken up?"
I started to take off my jumper, only because I hoped it would distract me from thinking too deeply about the whole thing. "We were never really together," I told her with relative calm, depositing the jumper on her bed and pulling on the tank top. "The two of us had... different ideas of where it was going. I had to put an end to it." I slipped the jacket on, turning to glance in her mirror as I pondered what to do with my hair.
In the reflection, I saw Lysa watching me, concern clear on her face. "Are you okay?"
The question hit me like a ton of bricks. Was I okay? Godric, no. Scorpius had just told me he never wanted to look at me again. But that was my problem to deal with, and besides, I had no right to be upset. I was the one who had said it needed to be over. I would just have to live with the consequences.
Snatching a hairband off the vanity, I pulled my hair back into a tight ponytail, leaving a few strands hanging loose. Then I turned back to face Lysa. "Honestly, I don't think I want to talk about it."
My friend sighed. "Okay. Well... do you need anything? I was going to make a run to the kitchens in a few minutes."
The thought of eating made my stomach start to churn, and I quickly shook my head. "I threw up a couple of times this morning... Still haven't gotten rid of whatever's been bothering me. I don't think I'll eat for a few hours, at least."
"Okay," she said, but there was still worry in her eyes. "Well, you're welcome to crash here until I come back. I doubt any of these lazy bitches will be up and about for another hour or so."
I smiled half-heartedly, but once again shook my head. "I should go to my dorm, but thanks... for the clothes, and everything. I owe you one."
Lysa's smile looked slightly more genuine than mine had felt. "You owe me plenty... but I'll never try to collect. That's what friends are for."
---
Luckily for me, Ally and Jenna (my dormmates) didn't wake up for a good thirty minutes after I returned to my dorm. This gave me time to put away my things from yesterday, and mess up my bed enough that they would think I had slept in it. A little while after they woke up, I went down to get some food, then headed to the library, where I sat staring at a page for over an hour. My mind was far away -- snuggled under silk sheets, with Scorpius inches away, breathing softly as he slept.
Merlin. How was I going to get him out of my head? I couldn't mope around; it hardly seemed fair to do so when ending things was my idea. But how was I ever supposed to act happy if I couldn't stop thinking about him? Couldn't stop seeing his face when I closed my eyes? Even books weren't distracting me. I needed...
I needed work. Something to occupy my brain. There was some schoolwork I needed to do, wasn't there? From the classes I'd missed... Oh, yes! Andy MacDowell had mentioned a quiz in History of Magic -- but I didn't have the notes. He had offered to let me copy his. Maybe I ought to head over there now, and ask for them. At least it would take my mind off the whole damned situation with Scorpius.
With this plan in mind, I made my way back to Gryffindor tower to get some parchment and things. Ally and Jenna were still lounging in our room, painting their fingernails and pondering the mystery girl who Alec Scamander was currently hooking up with.
Jenna: "I heard she was a Slytherin -- a younger girl, maybe a fourth year."
Ally: "No way, that's practically a kid. He wouldn't, would he? Besides, I heard it was a Hufflepuff."
I rolled my eyes, only half-listening as I rummaged around, looking for my favorite quill. I doubted their speculations would get them anywhere.
Jenna: "Come on, he's practically Malfoy Junior... The boy has no qualms, and you know it. Besides, he was hooking up with Lily Potter when she was, like, thirteen."
I bristled, just as Ally was glancing pointedly at me. I watched Jenna flush, then flounder for words. "Sorry, Rose, I always forget she's your cousin."
I crossed my arms, more irritated than I wanted to let on. "It's not the fact that she's related to me; it's the fact that you're spreading false information. Lily never hooked up with Alec; they were just kids. It was innocent. If you've heard anything to the contrary, then that's Alec's bullshit. Check your facts, okay?"
They were both blushing now, and I was glad. They were such bitches sometimes. I hoped I'd made my point. On that bright note, I picked up my things and exited the dormitory.
---
The head dormitories were located on the fifth floor, not far from the prefects' bathroom. The location was pretty common knowledge, because you were supposed to try to find the Head Boy or Girl before bothering your head of house, at least when small conflicts were involved. There was a singular entrance, covered by a portrait of some stodgy former Head Boy who had probably been in my great-great-great grandfather's generation. When I walked up, the portrait eyed me warily. "What's your business?"
I rolled my eyes, but smiled prettily. "I'm simply here to see Andy about some classwork. Is he in?"
The man made some contemplative noises, then said, "These are the Head Girl's hours to deal with complaints... I do not believe the Head Boy wishes to be disturbed."
"As I said, I'm not here with a complaint... he told me I could drop by to get some notes. Could you please just tell him I'm here? Say it's Rose Weasley."
The old fellow didn't look happy about it, but he muttered "Fine" and swiftly disappeared from his frame. A good two minutes later -- I would have bet money he took a long time just to irk me -- he reappeared, a scowl on his face. "The Head Boy seems quite eager to let you demand his free time. In my day..."
"Can I go in, please?" I snapped, wondering how Andy dealt with this on a daily basis.
"Fine! Fine..." The guy continued to grumble, but the frame swung open, and I hastily made my way inside.
What greeted my eyes was a common room -- smaller than Gryffindor tower's, of course, but it was cozy. A fireplace against the far wall; a sofa and an armchair; some shelves and tables cluttered with books and knick-knacks. And then, of course, there was Andy, jumping up from his spot on the sofa and striding over to greet me. His brown hair was tousled in a way that made me wonder if I had interrupted an afternoon nap.
"Rose! I'm glad you came by." He stopped awkwardly a foot or so away from me, apparently not sure what the protocol was here. I wasn't sure either, to be honest. We were friends, but not... hugging friends.
I smiled softly. "Yeah, I, um... ended up with some extra time, and I kept thinking about those notes. I hope I'm not intruding on anything?"
Andy chuckled. "Only my deplorable weekend laziness. Perhaps you might attempt to cure it."
I shook my head, suppressing a grin. "And everyone is so convinced that you're the most hardworking kid at school."
"Well..." He shrugged, and I couldn't help noticing that the jumper he was wearing clung nicely to his arms. "I never claimed to be anything I wasn't, but I'll let them hold onto their assumptions."
"You naughty boy," I sighed. "I'm beginning to doubt if your supposedly good notes are even to be trusted."
Andy's eyes twinkled as nodded his head towards a door on the right side of the room. "Come on, they're in here. I'll dig them up for you."
I followed obediently as he pulled open the door and held it, waving me into what I quickly concluded was his own room. If the Hufflepuff posters weren't enough indication, the half-made bed and the socks draped across the desk chair made it pretty clear that this room did not belong to the Head Girl... so it was Andy's.
"Nice place you've got here," I commented, half-jokingly.
The brown-haired boy cringed. "It looks better without my crap strewn around everywhere... I would have cleaned up a bit if I'd known a lady was coming."
The last part was obviously in jest, but I simply smiled. "It really isn't bad. It has personality. It feels... you know, genuine."
Andy snorted, shaking his head. "You can sit down wherever... well, maybe not the chair, unless you want to smell like feet. And probably not the floor, either. So that leaves... the bed, I guess." He said all this as he rummaged through his bookbag, pulling out various papers and shaking his head when they weren't what he was looking for. Figuring it wasn't the worst place I would ever sit, I perched on the edge of his bed and watched in amusement as he searched for the notes. "Damn it, I swear I saw them when... Aha!" He held up a few sheets of paper, grinning. "Success at last." He set down the bag and came over to me, presenting the sheets like they were some valuable treasure.
"Thank you so much..." I said, beginning to pull out my own note-taking materials. "I really hate that I missed class, but I was puking unpredictably and I didn't feel the need to embarrass myself by vomiting up my breakfast in front of Professor Binns." I immediately winced at my own words. "Sorry, was that too much information? It's probably kind of gross to talk about..."
Andy's eyes gleamed with amusement. "No, it wasn't too much information. Everyone's puked their guts out at one point or another, and besides... you were just being genuine."
I stifled a giggle. "All right, if you say so. Now let me focus for a minute, okay? I need to get all these dates written down correctly, or everything will be chaos.."
The boy sat down up near the head of the bed -- it was a king size; pretty spacious -- crossing his legs and leaning back against the headboard. "Please, take your time. I'm in no rush... as I told you, I've simply been drowning in laziness all day."
The room felt a little warm, so I unzipped Lysa's hoodie and pushed it off my shoulders, letting my skin breathe a bit as I copied down the notes. They were quite good, actually. They did an impressive job of conveying the important information without spending time on details that didn't matter.
Halfway through the second page, I glanced up at Andy, and found his eyes trained on me. It wasn't a stare, really, not in the uncomfortable way. It was just a soft, wistful sort of gaze. The kind that brushed over you and made your stomach tingle as the butterflies woke up.
I narrowed my eyes playfully at him. "Have you just been sitting there watching me this whole time?"
Andy's cheeks flushed. "You're a very concentrated student. It's interesting to watch you work. And besides that..." He bit his lip, looked down, then said, "Well, you're beautiful. I'm sorry if that seems forward, but it's a fact, and there's no use denying it."
I raised my eyebrows, a slight challenge in them. I'd expected him to say something, sooner or later. It wasn't a surprise that he liked me. But I wanted to see where he would take this.
"Look, I... I don't want to come across like I'm trying to get back together with you. I'm really not. You made it pretty clear that you didn't have those kind of feelings for me, and that's okay. But I want to be open with you, so I'm not going to say I don't... because I do. Have feelings for you, I mean. I'm sorry if that makes things awkward..."
"Andy," I finally said, my voice soft. I had moved closer to him on the bed, almost unconsciously, and we were plenty close for talking softly now. Maybe even for talking in whispers.
His brow creased. It seemed he wasn't expecting me to interrupt him. "Yeah?"
"I know things didn't work out great for us before, but you don't have to feel weird about liking me that way. It's... not a big deal."
Andy's eyes lit up. "It doesn't bother you?"
Well, it was now or never, I supposed. A part of me knew very well that the History of Magic notes were not what had brought me to Andy MacDowell's dormitory today -- it was this. The potential of this conversation, and what it might mean for me, if I chose it to. And I needed, for my own good, to choose it.
I bit my lip, pondering my next words, then met his eyes. "People can change, Andy. Situations can change. And I think, if you were to ask, you might find that I'm not opposed to the idea."
It was actually quite beautiful, watching the way hope sprung up in his eyes. It took him a moment to find his words, but when he did, he moved closer. We were less than a foot apart, and he spoke in a whisper. "Just to be clear... you mean that if I did this--" Without warning, he kissed me, just barely. "--you wouldn't mind?"
I let out a breathy laugh. "You'll have to do better than that, MacDowell." Then I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. He let it linger for a long moment before I felt his hand behind my ear, pulling me closer, and he kissed me back. It was sweet and sinful and chock-full of undisguised desire, and I knew, then, that I would be here for awhile.
When we were forced to come up for air, I casually let my hoodie fall from my arms, leaving me in just Lysa's tank top. Before Andy really had time to note this, my mouth was back on his, our tongues doing battle to determine who wanted who more badly. I had one hand tangled in his hair, but the other was lower, slipped under his jumper to explore his bare abdomen.
In a moment, Andy's arm had twisted around my waist, and he was pulling me down. Laughing against his lips, I shifted a bit so I was properly straddling him. I trailed kisses along his jaw, trying not to smile as he moaned softly. I felt him tugging on my shirt to untuck it from my jeans, then his warm hands on my bare skin.
I lifted his jumper, pulling my lips away and sitting up for long enough to get it over his head. It left his brown hair rumpled, and honestly, the look worked on him, especially when he stared up at me with that hungry, slightly dazed look in his eye.
"Are you trying to seduce me, Weasley?" Andy sighed, a smirk playing on his lips.
I laughed, shifting back down but stopping an inch or so away from his lips. "That depends... is it working?"
"Quite well, actually," he breathed. Then he closed the space between us, his fingers hooked in my belt loops. I wasted no time pulling my tank top off, and managed not to blush as I reached for his waistband. He wasn't wearing a belt, so it didn't take long to push his trousers down, and with only slightly more effort, I had kicked my jeans off.
I was still straddling Andy, my hips moving against him as he trailed kisses across my collarbone. The thought crossed my mind that it wouldn't have happened this way with Scorpius — he would be on top, and I would be feeling half thrilled, half helpless. Right now... I just felt happy.
Andy's hand had moved to the small of my back, where it lingered on the clasp of my bra. Before unfastening it, he met my eyes, a more serious air to his gaze. "We don't have to go all the way," he said, "if you don't want to."
I smiled softly, and answered him with a long, rough kiss, after which he shifted to reach for his nightstand drawer -- but I put my hand on his arm. "Don't worry about it; I'm on a pill."
He chuckled, tugging me closer to him as he rested his hands on my waist. "You are just full of surprises, aren't you?"
Sighing, I reached back and unhooked my bra, then leaned into him with a smirk. "I might still have a few more up my sleeve."
---
The clock on Andy's wall read 6:23 PM. I was sprawled on his bed, wearing my panties and his jumper. He was in boxers and a t-shirt, perched on the foot of the bed copying out the remainder of his notes from Friday. I watched in amusement as he appeared to write something incorrectly, then scowled and snatched up his wand to erase the ink. I must have laughed to myself, because his head shot up, and he glared at me, a playful pout on his face. "I hope you're planning a brilliant reward, Weasley. This is some arduous work you've got me doing."
I giggled. "No guarantees... but I don't think you'll be disappointed."
He raised an eyebrow. "Come on, don't I get any hints?"
"None," I said, smirking at him. "You've just got to be patient."
"Ugh, you're the bloody worst. You know that?"
I narrowed my eyes at him, pursing my lips. "You were singing a different tune an hour ago."
Andy laughed and turned back to the notes, shaking his head. "Shut up, Weasley."
He copied out the rest of the notes with remarkable speed, and when he had tucked them safely into my bag, he turned to me with bright eyes.
"So, do I get to know now?"
"Merlin," I sighed, "you're making quite a thing out of this. I hope you won't be disappointed."
Andy leaned over to plant a short, sweet kiss on my lips. "I don't think I'm capable of being disappointed by you."
I blushed. "That's a lot of pressure to put me under, MacDowell."
"On the contrary," he said, "it means you should feel none. All you have to do to make me happy is look into my eyes."
"Well," I said, grinning at him, "I plan to do a bit more than that."
Andy twirled a strand of my hair around his finger, his eyebrows raised expectantly. "So, what is it, then?"
I smacked his hand away playfully, laughing at him. "You're like a little kid, you know that?"
"I admire the persistence of children."
Sighing, I pushed him aside and reached for my jeans. "That's very well, but you aren't finding out anything yet." I tugged them on, then flitted over to his mirror to look myself over. My cheeks were flushed, but there was no helping that. The messy hair was remedied with a ponytail. Andy's jumper was a yellow weave, and it looked nice with my red hair. I glanced over my shoulder at him and said, "I'm keeping this."
He lifted an eyebrow. "It's my favorite... but I'll make do without it. For a while, at least."
There was a question in his words -- a fair question. It wasn't the time or place for a defining-the-relationship conversation, but he wanted to get some idea of what I was looking for here. I couldn't blame him.
I nodded, a soft smile crossing my lips. "A good while, I think."
Andy's whole face lit up. "Okay," he said, trying and failing to keep a grin off of his face.
"Good." Flashing him a final grin, I crossed towards the door. "Meet me outside my common room in forty-five minutes."
"All right... Should I eat beforehand?"
"Don't even think about it."
Grabbing my things, I walked out and shut the door behind me. As I slipped out through the portrait hole and headed for Gryffindor tower, I told myself that all this was a good thing. I'm not sure if I believed it.
THE PLACEHOLDER THING ISN'T GOING TO WORK VERY WELL FROM HERE ON OUT, AS THE STORY HAS CLEARLY DIVERGED FRON WHAT IT WAS... BUT I'LL DO MY BEST TO GIVE IT A BIT OF COHERENCY MOVING FROM THE NEW STUFF TO THE OLD STUFF 😭
A few weeks passed, and gradually things returned to normal. My memories of the brief time with Scorpius remained, and at times I looked back on them fondly. I was sure I had made the right decision in leaving him, but that didn't mean I hadn't enjoyed what we'd had.
I was still having stomach problems. I was beginning to wonder if some sort of allergy was causing them, or if it was something more serious. If it didn't let up soon, I'd go to Pomfrey.
One day when I returned to the Common Room after classes, Lysa was lying in wait, and she dragged me into the bathroom.
On the countertop was a cylinder filled with what seemed to be some sort of clear-colored potion, and a weird funnel thing.
"Rosie, you need to pee into this... I have a theory I need to test."
I blinked. "What?"
"Just do it, alright? Take the potion back to your room and we'll see the results after supper."
"But what's it for? What's your theory?"
Ly bit her lip. "Let's just wait and see what the potion says, okay? I promise I'll explain after supper."
For some reason, I had a bad feeling about this.
• • •
When we returned to my dorm after supper, we found that the potion a deep black. I turned to Lysa for an explanation, and found her looking pale and worried.
I managed a chuckle. "What's up, Ly? Worried that my pee is toxic?"
My friend shook her head, and when she spoke her voice shook slightly. "I'm afraid it's a bit worse than that, Rosie. That potion..."
I heard what she was saying, but I didn't want to process it, and most of the words bounced off my ears. It wasn't true... It couldn't be true.
"Rose? Are you alright?" Lysa's voice was soft, as if she was afraid I would suddenly explode if I wasn't handled with care.
The question snapped me out of my state of numbness and I felt wetness on my cheeks. I stared at her. "I- Yes. No. I don't know..."
The full weight of my predicament hit me suddenly, and I collapsed onto my bed in tears - dreading the moment when I would have to face Scorpius Malfoy.