I take in an overly long deep breath and release. Sweat is sliding down my face and my hands are shaking. I have to do this. Before I can convince myself otherwise I say,"Heyy!"
"Lydia?" Ethan asks suspiciously. I rake my sweaty palms over my pants and scold myself. Why should I make him deal with this? It isn't his burden to bear. Silently I argue with myself and completely forget he's on the other end.
"Lydia?" He asks once again. Feeling like a jerk I quickly say,"Yeah it's me!" Mentally I slap myself, wishing I could back out of this. Maybe I can just make up an excuse like I wanted to hear his voice, or I want to go to a movie, or maybe I want to invite him to dinner.
"Oh great! I was just about to call you," His voice dies down slightly waiting to hear what I have to say. Having forgotten about all of my earlier predispositions I giggle.
"Really? What about?" My voice catches just a slight bit, causing me to sound like I'm near tears. Angrily I wipe my dry eyes and wait for his response.
"Oh... You know... I was wondering if you'd like to hang out with me--- now?" I let out a shriek and start happy dancing around the parking lot.
Ethan lets out a long throaty laugh. I stop when I realize that means he's giving me the perfect opportunity to tell him the truth. I could just be honest and stop living a lie. I clap my hands together, for a few seconds before regaining my cool. After a few more seconds I'm able to regain my calm demeanor and answer.
"I'd like that.... Meet me at the second street park?" I randomly name a neutral place from my childhood. That was the park where I first learned how to cross the monkey bars. It was also those same monkey bars that I fractured my wrist and broke my elbow. I ended up getting near seventeen stitches and two pins after they surgically put the bones back in place.
I grin idiotically clicking my phone shut. My car is at the back of my mind as I start walking, not a care in the world. Happy ----- that's the only way you could describe this feeling. An uncontrollable bliss. Everything was finally falling into place. There was no longer going to be this heavy weight crushing me.
I start counting the cracks in the sidewalk as I speed walk to the park which is a little over two miles away. Giving in to myself, I start running. Slowly at first, but quickly building momentum and eventually reaching the point where I'm sprinting. I look like a mad woman running like her life depends on it. I don't care at all. It doesn't matter what other people think of me. The faster my legs move, the faster they'll carry me to Ethan and that's all that really matters.
I curse under my breath as the sidewalks comes up from under my feet and decides to hit me in the face with a sickening thwack. I lie there hoping and praying I can just melt and disappear into the sidewalk. The sting of the scrapes reaches my brain and I cry out in pain. "Slowly stand up, brush the dirt off of your jeans," I chide myself. A homeless man stares at me slack-jawed for a millisecond before rushing to my aid. A pink blush covers my face and I look away towards the cowardly cement.
"Are you alright miss?" Asks the kind older gentleman.
"Just peachy," I respond rudely. I shudder and pinch the inside of my hand, hard. This is something that I do often, as a reminder. The elderly man looks down at his worn down shoes. He glances up at me from under his cap. I shrink away for a moment before extending my hand.
"I'm Lydia," I attempt to appear a little cheerier than the first time. He stares at my hand in disdain for a moment before grasping it firmly.
"My name is," He licks his lips and coughs, nearly hacking up a lung.
"John," he starts hacking again, I watch him curiously, slowly backing away. When he doesn't stop coughing I begin to panic. If he's dying or something I'm not sure if I'm willing to give him CPR or not. I stand there completely paralyzed with fear when a certain young man comes to my rescue.
Ethan bangs his fist on John's back, and avoids my gaze. I watch in awed amazement. My jaw hangs low, and I'm speechless for the first time. What was going on? Was I imagining things, or hallucinating? This whole situation is just to surreal. I take a step back and fall abruptly onto the street. My hands swing down to catch my fall. With a harrumph I land and the air is knocked out of me.
Without a hesitation Ethan hurries to my side and helps me up. I look down, embarrassed at my klutziness. In an attempt to appear nonchalant but cool I twirl around him until I'm dizzy.
He watches me slightly bemused. I giggle and collapse against him in a cheery manner, forgetting all about John.
"You're in a good mood," Ethan observes.
"Am I?" I respond thoughtlessly.
"It appears so,"
"Haha," I laugh snidely,"Well you can get drunk off of anything these days," This captures his attention, and for a quick second all he does is stare at me.
"Are you trying to tell me you're wasted?" Ethan snarls. I take a step a way from him. Absentmindedly I pick at the frayed hem of my shirt.
"I have never in my life tasted alcohol, so no I am not trying to say that," He lets out a relieved breath and starts walking with me.
For a while all we are is silent, I try to come up with some cute saying I could sputter out but nothing comes to mind. I swing my arms back and forth, clapping my hands together every once and a while.
Finally a bench appears before us and I sit down trying to seem like a lady instead of a mannerless caveman. Ungracefully Ethan drops down besides me and just like every other guy I've ever seen ---- spreads his legs apart an incredibly large amount and sighs contentedly.
I awkwardly place my sweaty palms on my lap and let my knees barely touch his. I glance down as he glances up, he takes me in and then looks away smiling. I continue watching him out of the corner of my eye, waiting for him to make the first move.
When he doesn't I clear my throat obnoxiously,"Ahehnmrb," Worriedly he grabs my hand and looks into my eyes.
"Lydia!! Are you okay?" Ethan demands in a horrified tone.
"I'm fine," I cough. "But there's something I need to tell you..." He raises his eyebrow. I take in a long deep breath and then release.
"Ethan... I'm sick,"
"Sick as in we better get you inside sick?" Feeling like I'm about to kick him while he's down I slowly shake my head.
"Not exactly...." He pales until his skin is no darker than a white sheet.
"You see... The thing is..." My phone buzzes interrupting me mid sentence. I hit ignore and try to start again.
"Ethan, a few weeks ago I was..." My phone goes off again incessantly ringing.
"Maybe you should answer that," Ethan whispers. I click ignore and turn to face him.
"Ethan I was diagnosed with cancer. I only have a little time left,"
All he can think to say is,"But you still have all of your hair,"
Manically I start laughing, losing all control over myself. Time seems to cease and all I can do is laugh. He watches me with an unwavering intensity.
Finally I reach the point where I can no longer breathe I'm laughing so hard. This is when Ethan intervenes all he says is "December 6th 2007" my laughter comes to a halt and all I can wonder is how he knew.
"You realize that there is nothing funny about this, don't you?"
"Sometimes it doesn't matter if something is funny or not, its a coping mechanism,"
We stare at each other blankly and twiddle our thumbs. The silence becomes unbearable, I get up and tell him that I have to go. He doesn't even ask where I'm going. All Ethan does is watch me leave.
Saddened by his reaction I text my mom: I told him, happy?
I don't care to hear a response, I just start walking aimlessly hoping to find the place I need to be.
** A/N
I feel awful for making you guys wait so long for a chapter! But since the wait was so long I made this one slightly longer than the last. And I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again... I've been getting really distracted lately with homework, high school, and boys. Please forgive me!!
XX ~ Ally
PS: blame the geometry homework.
PPS: I'm dying to talk to someone about homecoming so either pm me or comment! ~ comment, fan, vote!
PPPS: (Every time I work on this I add more to the A/N) but I had no idea high school was this hard and I realized that I sound just as annoying as the people I don't like ----- especially around boys :/