wanted to switch it up a bit and write this in kaycee's pov. for reference, this takes place earlier that day prior to sean receiving the text. hope you all enjoy <3
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She didn't know how to react. She knew how everyone else wanted her to react, but Kaycee didn't know how they expected her to put up that facade.
Everyone wanted her to be upset, to feel bad, to remember. No one stated it directly, but she could tell just by the miserable looks in their eyes whenever they looked at her.
They looked at her like she was a stranger, like she wasn't their Kaycee and it was killing her with each passing second. She wanted to be selfish, she wanted to yell at them. To scream and shout and remind them that she's still here, she's still Kaycee. That she may have lost her memory but they haven't lost her. She was alive.
But she knew she couldn't, it wouldn't be fair to them. It wouldn't be fair to beg them to act like everything was fine and dandy when in reality it was not. While things may not have been much different to her, her closest loved ones lost a huge part of their lives. They lost the Kaycee they had known for nearly the past decade of their life, and they didn't know if they'd ever get her back.
The doctors had told them that memory loss was a common repercussion when a patient has taken a strong blow to the head. Given that Kaycee's situation was far more severe seeing as the impact was taken directly to her temporal lobe, there was really no telling when and if her memory will ever fully recover.
So they had no choice but to sit and wait and pray that maybe one day things will fall back into place.
Her family has tried many remedies they found online within the short two-day time frame since the accident. They tried showing her old pictures and clips, Bailey and Tahani came over frequently to tell her all what she's been up to the past few years, and Josh and Julian, whom she apparently met in college, even came over sharing old college stories from their friend group. They even told her about how they met and how they set up her and Sean.
God, Sean.
If there was one person she truly felt for amidst her memory loss, it was Sean.
The pain that broke out onto his face when he came to realization that Kaycee had no idea who he was remained imprinted into Kaycee's mind. Whenever anyone would mention him, all she could think of was how she could physically see his heartbreak, and that she was the cause for it.
Her family and friends had told her all about how much the two loved one another, how despite the fact that they were no longer in a relationship, it was obvious that the pair still had love for each other.
But as much as they tried to convince her and tell her all about the relationship she had with him, the only memory that came to mind was of his visit the night of the accident. That was her last and only memory she had of him.
She wanted to remember, she wanted to know what it felt like falling in love with the man that everyone was so sure was her soulmate.
It wasn't fair that she had to hear about her love story from other people. Everyone else remembered how she fell in love, but she was left trying to put the pieces together from the stories that they all told her. Having to hear her family and friends explaining something that was so sacred and special for her made her want to scream and shout in frustration.
Why did she have to suffer? Why did she have to lose all recollection of the one thing everyone looks for in life? She didn't know how much longer she'd be able to take hearing everyone go on and on about the near perfect relationship she had, and still not be able to remember even just a fragment of it.
They were trying, and she was grateful. But losing all the memories of falling in love wasn't easy. She saw every picture and video. Read all the captions and texts that her and Sean exchanged back and forth through the years. She could see the love that was very much present in both of their eyes.
The two were clearly infatuated, she can see why everyone said they were it for the long haul. She believed her family when they said she was in love, and they've all tried to tell her that their love and bond and connection was simply that strong, so strong that they had no doubt that they'd find their way to each other again. Kaycee would learn how to love Sean again, even if it took days or years, Sean was the one made for her.
But it doesn't make sense, how could she be in love with someone she doesn't even know? How are they so sure that they can fix this? Why is everyone so sure that Sean would be willing to wait for her?
The last thing Kaycee wanted to be was selfish, he should not have to wait for her. He should be able to move on, to learn to love again even if it's not with her. Why should he be forced to sit and wait for regain her memory? And what happens if it never comes back? If it's permanently gone then what? She couldn't put him through even more pain, she didn't know him but she knew he was special and that no one deserved to have to go through that.
When Sean walked into her hospital room that night, she felt a warm tingling sensation in her chest as if her heart was expanding just at the sight of him. Seeing him made her feel something, made her feel like she finally saw something that seemed familiar. But she couldn't put a name to his face.
At first she though it was some cliché love at first sight ordeal, like she found the man so attractive she immediately fell for him. But when she saw the mixture of confusion and heartbreak written in his face, she knew the sense of familiarity she felt was more than a silly crush.
Upon hearing the explanation from her family and learning that he was, in fact, an ex-lover, it all made sense. Whether she remembered him or not, she knew Sean was someone special to her, she could feel it.
He hadn't visited her since the accident, and she couldn't help but feel hurt that he hasn't even tried to reach out, but she knew that no one could even begin to relate to the pain he must be going through.
She knows her family has been trying to contact him, her mom left her phone out on the counter, unlocked and unattended giving Kaycee the perfect opportunity to see all the texts they've sent her former boyfriend.
She wanted to grab her phone and text him, ask him to come over knowing now that he'd do just about anything for her. But she didn't want to be selfish, especially not to him. She wasn't going to be selfish even if she knew no one would think she was. They all saw her as some fragile girl, someone to pity, the last thing they would do is think she was selfish for wanting answers.
Sean though, Sean was different. He was broken almost as much as she was. He lost just as much as she did.
The woman he loved for almost the past decade of his life had absolutely no recollection of him. If that wasn't a loss then Kaycee doesn't know what it is.
But there was only one way Kaycee felt like she could even have a sliver of hope in regaining her memory, she needed Sean.
She couldn't keep listening to her love story— their love story, be told by people that weren't them. If she was gonna hear all about how in love she was, she wanted to hear it from the source. She wanted to hear it from Sean.
Goosebumps rose onto the surface of her skin just at the thought of seeing Sean again. She wondered if seeing him again would stimulate the same warm feeling in her heart again, or if that was just a reaction to seeing someone other than her doctors and nurses for the first time since she woke up from the surgery.
Just like her past lover who lived across town, she was tossing and turning trying to relieve her mind from the unanswered questions that kept revolving through her brain. She needed to know more about her and Sean, she wanted to hear what it was truly like for them; why her heart seemed to remember him but her brain could not. She needed to see him again.
She had questions that only Sean knew the real, honest answers to. Answers that she so desperately needed to know and she was going to get them.
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hey guys thank you for the love you've shown this book! please don't forget to vote and comment, hope this one didn't hurt too much <3