So many months later, the final (bonus) chapter!! Hope you guys like it!!
YEARS LATER...
It's hard to describe what's going on in front of you when tears are pooling in your vision, making it hard for you to see.
I stand at the entrance of the church in a flowing white dress that reaches the floor. My legs wobble in the sky-high heels on my feet, but it's worth it if I don't have to go on my tippy toes to give Theo a kiss. My hair cascades down my back in a mass of blond curls, and some strands tickle my ears. I tuck them behind so that they're out of the way, then press my palms over the material of my dress. I wipe them, hoping that by the time all of this is over they aren't clammy and my makeup isn't ruined; I can't remember if Delilah put water-proof mascara on, so if rings of black appear under my eyes, I'll know why.
I turn to my father, who has tears of his own in his eyes. He brushes his thumb under my eyes, catching a tear or two before they fall.
"You ready Hazel-nut?" I sigh, feeling the shaking in my body. I tap three times over my thigh, then stop. I smile at him, then rest my head on his shoulder for a moment before looking into his amber eyes.
"I'm ready."
The music starts, a melody sweet and soft to my ears. My father hums it under his breath, as I'm sure he did for Toby's wedding as well. I take his elbow, holding on steadfast. He can feel the shaking in my arms and pats my shoulder, letting me know that it's okay.
We walk through the massive double doors in faded light, and worry clouds my vision as well as my tears. What if Theo isn't at the altar? I've heard so many stories about this, and it makes dread unfurl in the pit of my stomach.
When I look up I see him standing there and I unclench my body. He's wearing his tux and I can see the little red rose in his pocket. He taps his foot on the maroon carpet, and I can see the wavering grin on his face. He sniffs loudly, so loud that I can hear it from where my father and I are.
We make our way down the aisle, shoes clicking against the hardwood beneath us. I fear that I will fall and make a fool out of myself, but my father has a strong hold on my arm and I do not falter for one step. We make it to the end, and I'm not sure that I want to let go. I don't want Theo to feel the shaking in my body, the nervous shivers that make every part of me shudder so hard that my teeth clack together.
My father kisses my temple before placing my hand in Theo's, and picks his way through the people to my family, which has grown in the past few years. I make eye contact with Toby and Nita, and their dark-haired little girl Daisy, who was our flower girl. I see Nita's hand on her very round stomach, and Toby's hand in her other free one. Nita is one of my bridesmaids, but she can't stand on her feet for very long, so she sat down.
Delilah, with her bright hair pulled into a twist, smiles at me. Sierra stands behind her, giving me the thumbs up. I laugh silently, covering my mouth with the back of my hand.
I finally look at Theo after waiting for so long. I was afraid that he would take one look at me and want to leave me, but here he is, tears running down his face, leaving tracks down his cheekbones. He sniffles, laughing.
He touches the side of my face where a few tears have fallen.
"Hey, you shouldn't be crying. Today's a happy day." I look into those carolina eyes, seeing them shining like stars, then wipe his tears away.
"Then you can't cry either." I know that Theo's just as nervous as I am because he's shaking too. We both never really could tolerate our emotions that well.
Theo's thumb rubs even circles over my shaking hand, and some of the shaking and nervousness subsides. My heart swells in this moment in time, a moment that a part of me never thought would happen. When he got down on one knee and proposed so many months ago, I never thought that this moment would feel this special. Right now, at the altar, I have never felt this close to the man I love before.
Even though I wear the heels, Theo still towers over me, and I almost chuckle at the thought. Theo's turned toward the priest, who is talking about vows and the bond of marriage. He gives me the side eye, trying not to pry his attention from the man in front of us. I pull my attention away from Theo and look at the man.
We repeat after him, saying our vows, just as we had the night before. My voice shakes at one part, but I laugh it off and sniffle, pretending that it's just the overflow of my emotions.
I hear Theo say, "I do". Soon it'll be my turn.
"Do you, Hazel Hudson, take Theodore Beckett to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" My breath becomes clotted in my airways, and it seems as if time has come to a standstill.
"I do." Theo smiles down at me, dimples appearing. His gaze spreads over the whole church before turning to me again.
"I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Theodore Beckett. You may kiss the bride." Theo places his hand on the small of my back and twirls me around. His lips find mine and I sigh into his mouth, probably enjoying this moment more than him. I can hear the crowd around us, their happy shouts, but I barely pay attention. I put a hand to Theo's cheek and kiss him deeper. When we break apart we're both out of breath.
"Hello Mrs. Beckett," he smiles.
***
The dining hall for the reception is very loud with the chatter of our guests, and I twirl the fabric of my dress between my fingers nervously. Theo's hand is in my own, and it swings back and forth. My engagement ring is almost blinding in the late afternoon sun, and Theo's band does the same. He traces my ring with one of his long, thin fingers and smiles.
"You're mine forever, darlin'. No going back now." He kisses the top of my head.
"I wouldn't dream of it." I ruffle some of the curls on his head and he scowls at me playfully.
"Ready to go meet our guests?" It's my turn to scowl.
"I'm awkward and I know almost none of the people here. I say we hop back into that limo and start our honeymoon early." He laughs, putting a hand to his chest.
"It won't be that bad. You'll see."
He takes my arm as they announce our arrival, and we walk in smiling. We walk over to our seats hand in hand, and people cheer. We sit down and everything quiets down. The music stops and the main dish is served. I watch Daisy poke at her steak with mild disinterest and laugh. I pat Theo's arm and stand. I walk over to my very small niece, who can barely see over the table in her large chair.
Toby sits next to her, arm out and ready in case she becomes adventerous. Daisy's dark, wavy hair swishes as she looks over at me.
"Aunt Hazel! You look like a princess!" I smile at her, then look to my brother. He smiles at me, that marigold smile. Nita sits next to him, having a smile of her own.
Daisy motions to be picked up, and Toby scolds her, but I don't mind. It won't matter if I get a few dirt stains on the white of my dress. I can always get them out later. My OCD can wait a few moments.
"How do you think it's going to be with three girls in the house Toby?" He glares at me, but I know that he secretly loves it. He cannot wait for his second child to arrive, and with it, more chances to play dress up and be pestered to plat fairy princess.
Nita pats her stomach. "Any day now. Toby's so nervous that every time I complain about something he's ready to hop into the car and take me to the hospital." Toby scowls at Nita and takes a strand of her dark hair betweem his fingers. He leans forward and kisses her forehead.
"Mind if I take Daisy to find something better to eat? I don't think she likes the steak." After some talking to, Toby agrees to let me take her. I walk off, looking for the kitchen and hear footsteps behind me.
Theo's eyes light up when he finds me, then looks to the little girl in my arms. If possible, Theo loves his niece more than I do. He takes her from me and she whoops, wrapping her arms around his neck. He kisses the top of her head.
"Doesn't Aunt Hazel look so pretty?" She nods her head enthusiastically as we walk, and she whispers something into his ear. He hoists her up further, then wraps his arms around her more tightly. He cannot wait to have children of his own, but I'm scared. What if they're like me? What if I don't know what to do, or am a bad parent?
We find the kitchen and Theo places Daisy on the counter. I watch her while he rummages through the fridge. We came early yesterday and put some of the foods that Daisy likes into the fridge because we weren't sure if she'd like the food here. She's a very picky eater.
Theo hands her a cup of applesauce, which she happily takes. Her feet sway back and forth, banging against the metal of the cabinets. She eats spoonful by spoonful at a very slow pace, but Theo and I sit there while we wait for her to finish.
"Soon we can think about a baby running around the house, love. There will be more than one dashing Beckett around the house. Just think, a curly-headed little troublemaker like me." He winks, then laughs. I entertain the idea, although it's a scary one. I nod and smile with him, hoping that he doesn't see my expression.
"I know that look. That's the, "I don't really want that Theo" look. It's okay if you don't want kids. I'll be fine with that." We've talked about it before, and he knows that I do want a baby of my own, but there are things I'm wary about.
"I didn't say that." He smiles, then walks over to me and pulls me close. He silently tells me that it's okay while rubbing at my arms.
Daisy's almost done with her applesauce, and it's almost time to go back. Theo grabs me, placing his lips next to my ear.
"On the bright side, we'll have plenty of time to practice before a baby actually comes." I swat at him, laughing. He grabs Daisy and runs off, a devilish smirk on his face.
I sit back down and finish my meal, and so does Theo. We sit through speeches, which make me shed a tear or two, then get ready for the cutting of the cake. It towers over everything else in three tiers of white icing and chocolate and vanilla cake. Fondant flowers wrap around the sides in reds and oranges.
We each cut a piece for each other with our hands folded together, and Theo gently feeds me my piece. He lets me smear it over his upper and lower lip and he licks them, trying to be seductive. He leans close to me and before I can pull away he kisses me, smearing cake all over my face. His chuckle is deep and low, and I can feel it in the depths of his chest.
After we get cleaned off the DJ starts the music.
"You and Me" by Lifehouse plays and Theo takes my arm. We're the first ones on the dance floor and I can feel my heart pounding. The long fabric of the dress licks around the cuffs of Theo's pants and his hair tickles my face. I can smell his cologne as he pulls me close, and I resist the urge to pull at one of the curls dancing in front of my face.
We dance like this, just the two of us, until the song ends. Theo kisses my cheek, his fingers playing with the top half of my dress. When other people start to crowd the floor we sit back down, and I wipe the sweat off of Theo's upper lip.
"It's hot in here. Want to go outside for a few minutes?" I gladly take the offer, feeling the tightly packed space heating up very quickly in a short amount of time.
Before we go outside Theo talks to Toby, his mother, and my parents, before taking my hand. He leads me to the back door and props it open. The cold night air hits my face in waves and I could never be more grateful for it.
We sit on the stoop of the steps, cooling off. I watch the night sky and listen to the bass of the music playing inside. Theo's fingers travel up and down my arms, and I can feel his stare looking me up and down while I look at the sky.
"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life, and I get to spend the rest of my life with you." I blush under his heated gaze. I look over to him and see how dark his carolina eyes look, see how many shades of blue there are hidden in the darkness.
"How about we leave right now and start the honeymoon early? I already asked your parents and mine, and they were more than happy to let us go. I'm sure everyone will be fine without our company." I rest my head against his shoulder and intertwine my fingers with his.
"Let's go," I say, hearing the smile in my voice.
He picks me up, and with a squeal escaping from my lips, we run to the limo, which has already been started.
He nudges the side of my face with his nose, then whispers into my ear.
"When we get to the house, I say we start practicing for that baby as soon as we get inside."
"Theo!"
***
EVEN MORE YEARS LATER...
Theo's POV
I sit in the waiting room with my boys in my lap, waiting for Hazel. My leg bounces up and down on the sterile flooring of the hospital, nervous for my wife. She's going to have the baby too early, and if something happens to either of them...
I nuzzle my face into my son's brilliantly dark curly hair, much like my own. My other son, who has a mass of blond curls, holds on to my hand tightly. The look on his face is much like my own, I'm sure.
"Will Mommy be okay?" His voice sounds so small and scared, so I squish the two of them together, closer than they were before. I think I need their comfort more than they need mine.
"Mommy's going to be fine, Dustin. So is your little sister." The older of the two, Andrew, stares up at me with amber colored eyes filled with tears. He snuggles next to me with a yawn.
I rub small circles on their backs, hoping that it will calm them down some. Maybe it'll calm me down.
I've never liked hospitals, and I know that my boys have an aversion to them as well. They're just full of smells like cleaning supplies and death, and they can sense it. The hospital gives me the chills.
Dustin's amber eyes never waver from my face. Like his mother, he is serious and a worrywart, but doesn't have Asperger's. Neither does Andrew. They're four and two, and are tall and skinny like me. I have a feeling that the newest addition to our family will be tiny like Hazel.
She hopes that this one will get my eyes, but I love seeing Hazel's expressions and traits in our children. Being the father to her children is the best thing that's ever happened to me, besides meeting her.
The door to her room opens, startling Andrew awake. He clutches my arm, his small fingers biting into my skin. Dustin takes in the clean, worn coat of the doctor and peers through the door to where his mother lays.
"Did Mommy have the baby?" He asks with wide, inquisitive eyes, and the doctor laughs.
"Yes, she did. She's very tired, but she and your sister would like to see you lot."
He addresses me next.
"She's doing fine, but she's going to be a little out of sorts. The Cesarean Section has taken a toll on her body and she'll need time to rest. As long as the boys are quiet and she takes it easy, she'll be fine." He nods at me, offering a small smile, before walking down the hall. His shoes are loud on the white tiled-floor, and it makes me wince.
I take the boys hand in hand and lead them into the room, trying to be quiet. Hazel lays in the hospital bed, her head laying limply to the side. It looks like she's sleeping, but then one eye opens slowly and gazes at us. Her eyes light up.
"My boys!" Her voice sounds weak, but her eyes are alert and when she looks at me it's a silent plea. She wants me to send them over.
I push them to her, but they look scared. They've never seen her like this.
"It's okay. Just be gentle." Andrew takes her hand and she runs her other hand over Dustin's curls. She looks up at me.
"She's small, but healthy. She's got a head full of curly blond hair. That's one thing that this family seems to have an abundance of." Her eyes get brighter as she talks about our daughter. I search around the room before I find her, wrapped in a little pink blanket. She's asleep for now, and I can't wait to see her open her eyes.
"She's got pretty blue eyes, Theo. Like yours." I walk over to her and place a kiss on her head. She closes her eyes and smiles.
"You can hold her if you want. Just be careful with her; she's smaller than the boys were." It's true, my sons were born giants and I felt awful for my wife.
I walk over to where she sleeps, and wonder how I am going to hold something so small. She yawns, her small mouth opening as wide as it will go.
I pick her up as gently as I can and surprisingly, she doesn't start to cry. She's so small and fragile, and it makes tears prick in the corners of my eyes. A little girl. Our little girl.
"Is Daddy sad, Mommy?" She kisses Andrew's forehead.
"No. He's very happy my love. Would you like to hold her?" Andrew's eyes grow wide. He shakes his head, curls bouncing. She laughs.
"Do you want to see what she looks like?" He nods to that and walks over to me with a cautious look on his face. Hazel prompts Dustin to go over too, and he peers up at her like she's crazy.
I sit down so that they can see. Andrew crinkles his nose and Dustin looks at her with mild disinterest. I laugh.
"She has a lot of hair Daddy. " I pull back her cap even more, letting little blond ringlets spill over.
"Why yes she does." I look over to Dustin, who's looking at her very closely now.
"She's quite ugly isn't she?" I laugh, blowing air out through my nose.
"I think she's very beautiful, Bean. She was just born a little early." I ruffle his hair.
Hazel looks on from her bed, and I think she's secretly glad that the house isn't overrun by boys anymore.
"Her name is Paisley Rose Beckett."
Now, time for pictures!!
The Oldest Beckett Boy: Andrew Theodore Beckett
The Second Beckett Boy: Dustin Chase Beckett
The Youngest Beckett: Paisley Rose Beckett
I think that this picture is a good representation of what Paisley would look like when she got a little older.