Zayn's fingers were in Harry's hair tugging it gently, they were cuddled up in bed. His eyes were closed, reflecting on last month's events. The skiing holiday in France turned out better than he could have imagined. The cold temperatures meant they were indoors most of the times and being that close to each other brought the boys closer together.
They talked a lot especially at night, sitting around the fireplace enjoying the fire crackling in the background. Those conversations lead to heartfelt apologies and brotherhood bonds reignited. Life too short to hold on to grudges,you never know what's around the corner.
Finding beauty in the mundane was their new mantra.
Zayn's birthday has been and gone and Liam got his pool party, he didn't care about weather. Zayn couldn't wait to tell Harry about his birthday present. A baby.
"What got you smiling, baby?" Harry asked tilting his back to look at him.
Zayn kissed him on the forehead. "I'm thinking about the skiing holiday, it was nice wasn't?"
"Yes it was." Harry smiled, looking at him. "I'm glad you did enjoy it in the end even though you couldn't even say 'bonjour' after a week being there"
"I didn't learn anything in France..cause I wasn't there for that duh"
Harry chuckled, "We should book another one. Soon. How about our honeymoon, where do you wanna go?"
"Anywhere sunny, like Caribbean islands. I'm thinking sunshine, water, breezy yet warm air_cocktails, that's where I want to go. So make it happen, mr Styles. If you give me that, I'm yours forever."
"Mmm." Harry hummed kissing him on the arm. "I love that. You being mine forever. And I will give you what you want, baby. Sun, sea and sex it is then.."
"I'm all for sun and sea but um," Zayn smirked licking his lips. "I think we should abstain from sex till we're married." He teased. "Agreed?"
"Agree on what?" Harry huffed. "You know what. No comment. Whatever you decide I'm not part of it, thank you very much. I'm not about to go to my wedding with blue balls, just so you know."
"So much about no comment_Harreh! for fucksake move your hand." Zayn slapped Harry's hand away from his crotch feeling him squeezed his balls.
Harry smiled. "That's a taste of what my balls will feel like if you take away sex from my daily routine, so how does that feel to have right balls?"
Zayn rolled his eyes, no responded. "Let's talk about something important. Yazz first birthday tomorrow."
"And mine..." Harry said. "Am I not important?"
"Of course you're important, Haz. And I know it's your birthday." Zayn frowned looking him in the eyes. "Are you happy, Haz? With me and the baby? Do you still wanna get married?"
"Why are you asking me that question? Have you, like, you haven't changed your mind, have you?" Harry said pulling Zayn to lie on top of him and wrapped his arms around him.
"No of course not, babe. I just wanna make sure this is still what you want. If you wanna wait, I won't be mad. Like if you're not ready." Zayn said pushing Harry's curls back. "We can be engaged for like a year or more or something."
"Nah, I don't get couples who get engaged for years, it's like, if you want to get married why prolong it." Harry said. "Baby, I want to marry you. I want us living happily ever after. I love you and we are getting married in two months, but I'm ready to marry you right now and make you Mr Styles and I will officiate my own wedding to make sure that happen alright? That's don't try me baby." Harry said kissing him on the neck, biting him playfully.
Zayn squirmed feeling ticklish. "You can't officiate your own wedding, Haz. That's not allowed."
"I can do this though...show everyone you're mine.." Harry flipped them over, began kissing and licking Zayn's neck, sucking bruises leaving marks all over the chest blending them in with Zayn's tattoos. He went down leaving a trail of butterfly kisses along Zayn's happy trail. He stopped for a moment looking at Zayn's c-section scar, he kissed it gently making him when he kissed him on the belly.
Harry keen on satisfying him, giving him pleasure, went further down taking Zayn'd hard on in his mouth, sucked and licked and gave him the best blowjob Zayn has ever the pleasure of receiving, his toes curled as he cummed so hard.
"We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall, baby. You will always be mine" Harry said kissing him softly,
*
Zayn was smiling as he walked down the aisle with Yaser and Trisha on both arms. It was his wedding day and he was surrounded by family and friends. Zayn wore a white Armani suit with white shirt, white tie and black shoes. Harry said he looked gorgeous in white and he even dyed his hair blonde. Harry was wearing a floral Gucci suit with black boots, it looked hideous from a distance like grandma's curtains, but Harry looked gorgeous, his hair was up to his shoulders. Harry was nervous, standing next to the minister, he kept combing his fingers through his hair, pushing it back. He smiled watching Zayn walking down the aisle to him. Even from a distance Zayn could make out the words 'i love you' Harry mouthed to him. Liam, Louis, Jake and Ed were his groomsmen Niall and two of Harry's cousins were Harry's. Zayn breathed in deeply holding his tears seeing Liam and Niall wipe a tear.Their daughter Yasmeen, was a beautiful bridesmaid wearing a pink princess dress with a tiara, her hair in French plaits and white beautiful shoes. Safaa was wearing a similar dress, holding Yazzie's hand helping her walk down the aisle. They are getting married in a restored barn and it was decorated with red roses. So red.
Zayn woke up gasping not sure what woke him up, he was having such a lovely dream. Harry was snoring softly next to him, mouth open. He looked at the alarm clock, it was three in the morning. Pain shot through his stomach first, then nausea hit him, he was going to be sick no doubt about that: He tried standing but the pain was coming in waves, too much, it was so hard to breathe. He was huffing out air as if in labour. He grabbed Harry's arm and squeezed hard.
"Harreh.." his voice was barely a whisper as he tried waking him up. He did not want to vomit all over the bed, he thought as another wave of nausea hit him, so he took deep breath, trying to shake Harry awake.
Harry was deep in sleep not getting up, so Zayn tried moving only to feel vomit on his throat. "oh God.." he grunted having just swallowed his own vomit. But his stomach was swirling like a washing machine, he had to go to the toilet, but he couldn't mange that without help.
"Harreh.." he said digging his nails in Harry's arm hard.
The pain on his arms jolted Harry awake but he was still disorientated for a minute about what had caused that. He lifted his head looking towards his right where the door was.
"Harry." Zayn groaned, he didn't have a minute a lose he needed to move to the bathroom, as a matter of urgency.
Harry frowned turning his head to look at looked at him eyes barely open, "Zee, you o'right?"
"No." Zayn shook his head, kinda wished he didn't he was dizzy. His eyes were blurry either from tears or the sharp pain on his belly.
Harry sat up alarmed when he saw him crying and switched the bedside lamp on. "Zee..what's wrong, baby?"
"Bathroom..." Zayn whispered. "Take me there."
Harry walked over to Zayn's side of the bed, moved the duvet aside and lifted him up bridal style. He frowned when his arm became wet. He stopped feeling Zayn's boxers, they were wet, surely Zayn couldn't be that desperate and wet himself. "You wet the bed?"
He asked said moving to looked at the bed. And the sight of blood nearly had his head spinning. "Oh god." He stepped away avoiding looking at it. "Zee, what's happened?"
Zayn said something inaudible his head slumped over Harrys chest.
"Baby? Talk to me!" Harry panicked trying to shake him awake, but Zayn took a sharp inhale before going limp and heavy on his arm, head rolling back.
"Zayn!!" Harry yelled hoping the noise would rouse him, but Zayn had collapsed. He knew this was now an emergency and something was really wrong, calmly as he could because his whole body was shaking with panic he put him down, checked he's still breathing before dialling 999.
*
Harry hated hospitals. He hated them even more at five in the morning with a sleeping baby in his arms. Zayn was lying on the hospital bed asleep in fetal position, his arms around his body, as if hugging himself. Harry was sitting in a chair close to the bed, their hands clasped together, he was holding on so tightly afraid of letting go.
Zayn looked peaceful in his sleep, pouting and Harry wiped a tear on his face. It was bad news. Zayn had a miscarriage. That came as a surprise to Harry who didn't even know Zayn had a bun in the oven.
It was not the kind of surprise Zayn planned for him, he wailed when got told the bad news.
Harry's heart ached, hating to see him cry like that. He leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead, baby Yazz stirred whimpering but didn't wake up.
Hearing the baby whimpering Zayn's lashes fluttered open and he looked at baby Yazz sadness in his eyes.
Harry tightened his grip on Zayn's hand, "Zee?" He said to get his attention as Zayn was just staring at baby Yazz. When Zayn did look at him, his eyes were just_empty. "You want to go home?"
"I wanna go home." Zayn replied.
"Nick said you can go home later, okay." Harry told him softly.
"Okay." Zayn reached out to baby Yazz gently stroking her cheeks. "Happy birthday Yasmeen.." he whispered playing with her tiny fingers. He frowned when Harry stood up, and laid the baby next to him on the bed. "Where are you going?"
"I need to make a call." Harry kissed him softly on the lips, "You sure you don't need a drink?"
"No thanks." Zayn shook his head, snuggling baby Yazz closer to his chest.
Harry walked of the room to make the call to his mom, then Trisha and the boys. The birthday celebrations were cancelled.
*
Zayn was home. It was bittersweet. Rest, take it easy, Nick told him. Harry's heart could not taking any more watching him sobbing when Zayn told him the baby was meant to be his birthday surprise.
Trisha and Anne were already in the house, they took care of Yazz. Louis, Niall and Liam had stayed in the hospital till Zayn was discharged. Harry was grateful for them and thankful they were not asking questions. The mood in the room was sombre though. Zayn was quiet and clingy, and they lay cuddled together in bed.
"I'm sorry.." Zayn kept saying sorry to Harry, he blamed himself for losing their baby.
"It's not your fault, baby, dont apologize, okay. Don't" Harry reassured him.
Zayn wiped a tear, feeling an ache he can't get rid of.
"I've ruined our baby's birthday_" he sniffed, "and your birthday too, I'm sorry Haz.."
"Zayn..listen to me. It is not your fault. I'm sorry you feel that way...You heard Nick, there's nothing you could've done to prevent what's happened, nothing." Harry emphasised, "Like your mom said, nature can be cruel sometimes, but it is what it is. Yasmeen is still a baby, she won't remember not having a party okay, You didn't ruin anything.."
"You will remember though_"
"Enough of that talk, Zayn," Harry tightened his grip around him, "You didn't ruin nothing. Wherever I am, whatever the circumstances, if you are there with me on my birthday that's all I want. You can never ruin anything as long as you're with me. Okay?"
Zayn nodded, "Okay.."
"I mean it, Zee. I can sit and eat toast on my birthday as long as I'm with you that's all I ever care about." Harry kissed him on the cheek, his lips lingering there for a minute. "I love you so much. And am so sorry you're hurting."
Zayn smiled, when an idea popped in his mind. He
rolled on top of him, lying in between Harry's legs. He stared at him fondly for minute saying nothing before cupping his face with both hands, "Marry me, Harry"
"Huh?.." Harry frowned.
"Marry me, Haz." Zayn smiled. "Today. I want to get married today to you. In this house. Our house.."
Harry smiled. "Are you sure you don't wanna wait till tomorrow, when you feel a bit better?"
Zayn shook his head kissing him on the lips. "No, life is too short, who knows what would happen_"
"You mean what would happen if you have to sign your name and it's not Zayn Styles? Shocking, I know.." Harry smiled when Zayn laughed. He only ever want to see him happy.
"Marry me, you fool." Zayn said eyes shining with overwhelming love he felt for this man who loves him flaws and all.
Harry nodded. "Okay, let's get married.."
For Harry there was no better present to receive compared call Zayn his husband.