A/N:
Idk what I'm doing with myself, but here's another update.
My anxiety is like on fire and not being able to put myself to sleep is really taking its toll. I'm too emotional. I'm surprised I could write this since the fkn nub/ tingles don't ever go away. I hate constantly trembling like a flucktard chihuahua!!!!!!!!
Never thought I'd say it- but I need to be back at work! Lmao- wait for the endless complaints come next moth, though 😅
💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩
OkimdoneGoodday!
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I'm too lazy to photoshop-
Here's a sneak of pictures of the little Mercury's
from the skipped two months of their summer -
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Freddie:
"I see you've found my little surprise," Phoebe smiles and cackles like a mad man when he finally comes back from his errands.
"Why....why didn't anyone tell me!," His smile falls at my growl and I slowly stride over to him, my heartache replaced with a burning rage.
He puts his hands up in surrender, "I was the only one leaving you clues! Cherie asked me to, but-,"
"Cherie asked you? Do you still talk with her? Why isn't her phone working?," He offers for us to have a seat at the kitchen table and though my boiling anger is bubbling itself up for expulsion, I take a deep breath and sit down.
"She disconnected herself from your finances. She was too afraid you'd do it yourself if you ever seen the bills,"
I guess that makes sense. I've been a real prize. My poor angel.
"Uh, anyway- Here's your costume that you asked for. It should fit. Why are you dressing as this anyway?," He smirks at my childish choice of dress, but I think it'll be a good icebreaker. Who knows if Cherie will even want to look at me after the way I treated her!
"I haven't got time to explain. I need to get ready, did you bring the gift?," I ask as I open the costume and examine it for size.
"Yes it's already been wrapped. I don't know if Rose will be pleased with a giant trampoline for a one year old," he comments with a chuckle.
"Oh, she'll be thankful. The way Emmy has already taken to walking, she'll be running in no time and then she'll need someplace to take out her energy,"
Funny how dad mode has just flipped its switch to autopilot. I miss my beans. I...my baby Charlie...I was so mean to her...
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Rose:
"You better be back here in time, Cherie! I can't believe you're not going to help me set up!," I feel badly for going off on her, but the girl has had her head in the clouds for weeks now.
"I'm sorry, Rose. I've just got some important things to take care of. I swear I will make it back in time,"
She's being really suspicious and jumpy. I can see the anxious look in her eye whenever I ask her a question.
"Ahuh...what could possibly be more important than this? You're my best friend, you- you're gonna lose the godmother title, just keep playing up with me!," A childish tactic, I know, but somethings got to get through to her.
The side of her mouth turns down to a frown. She's so defeated. I hate to see her like this. If only she would let us explain everything to Freddie. Maybe he'd remember, maybe they could be happy again.
"I'll be back. I'll be late if I don't leave now...," She turns to the children that are in the garden chasing the bunnies around their rabbit holes. Quickly, she says her goodbyes, mostly getting ignored by the busy bubs. When she leaves, she pecks my cheek and promises to return as fast as she can.
"Auntie Rosie?," I take a seat at the picnic table as little Rich tugs on my arm.
"Yes, my love," I answer him with a smile. I love this little boy to pieces, he can really talk with you like a little adult.
"Auntie- It Emmy big party day," he smiles a big grin, showing off his tiny teeth before dusting off his costume. I nod my head at him waiting to hear the question that's swimming in his big brown eyes.
"I like Flash. Look- my costume!," He zooms around me with his arms spread out in front of him and stops in front of me, showing off his little muscles. I giggle at the adorable boy, but still I have a feeling this is leading somewhere.
"I love your costume, Richie! You're so strong and brave, just like Flash Gordon," he nods his head up and down, excitement spreading across his expression at my compliment.
Suddenly, he stops his jittery movements and tilts his head at me, his dark tousled curls dangle to the side.
"You think...Papi likes it?," His tight, straight smile stings my heart. The poor boy, he really does miss Freddie.
"I think he would love it too, sweetheart.," I don't want to get his hopes up. Roger isn't even sure that Fred will show today. Maybe I should call him.
Richie seems to be satisfied with our little chit chat and runs to join his sister and Emmy. They are now just sitting in the grass, babbling back and forth with Emmy.
Just before he reached them, Charlie was busy instructing Emmy on the proper way to sit like a princess. She grew frustrated with Emmy not understanding and just stuck to singing the alphabet song to her. I love the bond between the three of them- I hope they'll be life long friends.
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Cherie:
It's getting pretty late. I guess, I've no choice but to get to the party now. After the doctors appointment- I don't even want to deal with anything today. My heart is heavy, I feel like it's weighing down my entire state of being. Then again, what else is new?
Maybe one day I will get through this. Not today, not tomorrow- but someday I'll be able to see the sun again. I just don't want to pull on my facade as the complacent woman, left behind to rot. I feel like a widow- maybe that's what I should call it.
I pick up my phone as I finish slipping into my dress and text Thomas to see if he can give me a ride to the party. He responds seconds later agreeing to be here in twenty minutes.
Looking in the mirror, I can tell that the dress is fitting a bit more tightly than it used to. I hold onto my little round mound that had started to recently blossom at my middle. How will I ever find the will to go through with this? The children we- the children I already have, remind me so much of him, every single day. It'll be too hard. That's what I have to keep repeating to myself. It's a constant battle in my mind.
Would he ever forgive me, if he knew?
The aching I feel- it's a hollowness that will never be filled. I can't believe this hurts so bad. Even after each misadventure we have been through, we always seen the other side together. I guess, our luck was bound to run out.
A rapping at my door, snaps me out of my misery. I spread the smile on nice a thick when I open the door. Thomas scans my body, making me uncomfortably shift my feet under his gaze.
"Wow," he says in a breathy voice.
"Thank you," I mumble. "It was Charlie's choice. It's the only way she agreed to wear her costume. She's a princess so she said I'd need to be queen," I bite my lip, my nerves piling up inside of me as he walks closer.
"Let me just get my purse," I say the words just as he stands right in front of me. Don't get me wrong. He's not pushy in anyway, but he is clear with his intent through his flirtatious actions.
I swipe the strap of my purse off of the back of the chair from which it hangs, and I feel his hands grab onto mine. His fingers wrap around my wrist from behind as he pulls my arms together with a slight tug.
"Ma'am, you are under arrest- for stealing my heart," he chuckles madly as he releases me form his grasp.
I turn to him with a unamused expression on my face. When I catch sight of the regret in his eye, I automatically fall back into character- letting my teeth show through a wide grin.
He smiles down at me now, wetting his lips with his tongue. I can see his stare switching between my eyes and my mouth. I clear my throat, purposely breaking the tension.
"Let's get going, hmm?," I suggest. I know what he's thinking. Even if Freddie is sleeping with all of London at this point, I can't bring myself to be unfaithful to him.
In my mind he is still mine.
"After you, darling...," he rolls his arm outward as he hold the door open for me. I don't ever want to see him again after tonight. He's not my bag. He's becoming too comfortable.
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Freddie:
I'm so nervous to walk into this party. What if she's already here? Will she recognize me in my costume? Will she think that I am a romantic fool- or was the knight in shining armor costume a bad idea?
"Hey- Hey! You made it!," Roger pats me on the back making my costume ding at the contact.
"Roger- I have to talk to you. Now,"
"Roger, baby, will you please change Emmys nappy. I have to direct the caterers," Rose wrinkles her forehead at me as I lift up the grill of my helmet and raise challenging brow at her.
I swear if she makes a dig at me right now- I'm going back home to change.
"Nice costume, Freddie. It's good to see you. The food is being laid out now, if you're hungry," I nod my head and thank her , before she walks off back into the yard.
"I'll only be a moment, Fred. Go on- everyone is in the back yard," Roger doesn't wait for my answer. He heads up stairs with Emmy happily in his arms.
I gulp down my butterflies and straighten my posture. Placing my disguise back over my face, I walk out through the patio doors and am almost knocked over as a sparkling little princess trips over my feet.
It happens much too quickly for me to comprehend, she runs off again to play with the other children. I don't think much of it, until I hear her tiny voice engulf my heart in the light she's always cast upon me.
"I've lost my shoe!," she whines as her head of bobbing curls swing around when she begins to search the ground for her shoe.
Still stuck in a dumbfounded trance, I peer down to my feet, to see a clear slipper that is the same size as my hand. Just as I am bending down to pick it up, the princess quickly takes a seat beside my feet and lifts her foot to me.
I wonder how she is so outgoing to come up to a stranger- she still can't see my face as I slip on her shoe and snap the buckle closed making sure not to pinch her skin. Her question answers my thought and brings a genuine smile to my face.
"Are you a real Knight?," She giggles and her little round cheeks turn rosy with a blush.
But, before I can answer or even reveal myself with my laughter, she takes off running back to the clan of children as they excitedly cheer for the bounce house that is being blow up.
At least she's having fun. I still haven't seen my Richie, though I'm sure he's around the bunch somewhere. Don't worry my little darlings- Papi will fix this.
Joining the adults at the table, I take an empty seat next to Ronnie and before I can even take off my helmet to chime into their conversation- my mind turns to mush at the angel gliding into view.
She's dressed as the queen of hearts. A perfect costume- she's wearing that lacy red dress that she wore to Paris. Her body is even more curvy than I remember. The dress is scrunched tightly a bit at her middle and her naturally full breasts seem to be busting at the seams. Maybe a little stress weight, but it suits her well. She's radiant.
She still does not look up as she makes her way into the backyard. I have the urge to run up and swoop her into my arms and kiss her- but, I've got to plan this out correctly. She needs to know I wasn't myself- she needs to love me again, on her own.
Just as my plan starts to whirl around in my brain- I feel like I've just got a deadly shock to my soul. My heart squeezes together in my chest like a soda can being crushed beneath someone's boot.
For the love of my life, did not show up alone. Just as her feet leave the patio doorway, her waist is encircled by a pair of hands- thats mine!
I feel like a fool. Has she really moved on so quickly? Was I really that bad?
I turn to the table to get the image of her in the arms of another man, out of my sight. How could she so easily leave me behind...
"Cherie! Over here! Help me with the cake," Rose gets up from our table and walks Cherie back into the kitchen.
I take a longing glance back at my children, who still don't know it's me beneath the shielded grill of my costume. They look happy, playing with everyone else's children. Maybe no one needs me here. Would they even notice if I left?
Everyone heads inside as Rose calls out that it is time for the cake. My lip begins to twitch beneath this hot and heavy helmet, and I feel as though all the wind has left my lungs.
I can clearly see them all, through the large windowed doors. All the children surround the counter where Emmys high chair is positioned in front of the cake. Cherie is smiling as she poses for pictures with Emmy.
Her new beau is standing to the side- staring at her with a filthy smirk on his face. I know that smirk. I invented the look. I know what he's feeling as he hungrily stares at her. I remember.
Be not gone, my love. Come back to me. How I long for her touch- Can we ever be happy like we used to be? Have I woken up too late?
All the money in the world, every mansion I can buy- and she's the only thing I've ever had that made me feel like a millionaire.
I'll quietly take my bow, if she's happy.