The woman's thin eyebrows furrowed but she stood aside. "Of course."
"Thank you," I muttered as the door closed behind me. They had a nice home; an open concept that gave me a direct line of sight into the living room and part of the kitchen. A few photos lined the walls and Talia face stood out instantly. Her golden brown skin and glowing smile were unmistakable to me now. I'd memorized her face. I'd memorized the look of stiffened shock on her face as she bled to death on a marble floor.
The woman in front of me looked a tad like Talia, her skin was darker, but they had the same thin eyebrows and hazel-green eyes. "Won't you sit down?" she invited as we made our way into the cozy sitting room with off-white walls and pleasant blue furniture. A perfect home, at least at first glance.
"Thank you."
"Can I get you anything to drink?"
Whisky sounded great right now but I'd need a bottle of it to numb the pain that was tearing through my chest. Being drunk wouldn't be helpful for this task, so I shook my head as I tried to find the words to say.
"I'm here about Talia's case," I managed, squaring my shoulders and doing my best to channel Matthew. He had always been good at maintaining his composure when speaking to victims or their families. "Are you her sister? Hilda isn't it?"
The woman's demeanor changed instantly and what had once been slight confusion in her hazel-flecked eyes turned to pain. "I am. " She sighed deeply and it pierced my heart like a piece of glass. "What news do you have?"
I explained that I was going to be the one who ruled on the final case against Ragnar. "Ragnar claims that his actions that night where done with the Brigade and he also claims to have information regarding their whereabouts."
Hilda nodded thoughtfully. "You believe his killing Talia was a part of a larger plan?"
"I believe there is strong evidence to support that, yes." I sighed and I curled my hands into fists to hide my tremors. "And it's for that reason that I'm going to offer Ragnar a plea deal; a second-degree murder charge in exchange for information about the Brigade."
The words were easy to get out than I expected them to be. Seeing the pain fade from Hilda's eyes and her mouth turn into a thin line was not. "I didn't come here to cause you more pain," I said, hearing a tremor in my voice.
"Then why would you did you come here?" she asked, her lower lip trembling as she looked at me with tear-filled eyes.
"Because I was you." I answered, willing myself to keep eye contact. "And I thought you deserved to hear this from me instead of the news."
"Please, get out of my house." Hilda didn't even raise her voice. I wished she would have. I wished she would've screamed in my face. Called me a heinous bitch or even thrown me bodily from her house. Anything other than this. Those tear-filled eyes that showed me the broken soul with in.
My mother's eyes. My eyes. My uncle's eyes.
"Of course." I got to my feet, my knees shaking. I shut my eyes, my lungs compressed by tears I hadn't shed. Words built up in my throat like water in a dam, but I didn't even try to say them. No amount of "I'm sorry" would be enough. There was nothing I could do or say to make her hate me less.
I walked out of the house on weak legs and I no sooner had I shut the door and stepped off the stoop that Sif was by my side. "Are you okay?"
"No."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Do you want to go and get drunk?" I looked sideways at her and Sif shrugged. "I don't know what to do in this situation." She shook her head at me and frowned. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Can you bring back the dead?" That was the only way to fix this. The only way this situation could be just but that wasn't the world we lived in.
Sif didn't answer that but grabbed my hand. "You did the honorable thing."
"Then why do I feel so terrible?"
"If being honorable was easy, everyone would do it."
I wasn't in the mood for a pep talk or Sif building up my virtues. Right now, I just felt desolate.My world shimmered as magic bent time and space to bring us to our destination. My feet touched down on a soft green rug that wasn't mine. Frowning, I looked around and saw I was standing in an unfamiliar living room. The dying embers of a fire were glowing in a red-bricked hearth and a wooden coffee table with black metal legs sprawled out across a rug that looked like an animal pelt.
"Where are we?" I asked, frowning at my unfamiliar surroundings. The lack of white everywhere told me it wasn't royal; Freya would've never decorated like this.
"My house," Sif replied as she let go of my hand. "Take a seat, I'll get the beer. You want anything to eat?"
I sunk into the nearby couch. "I'm not hungry."
"Let me rephrase that," Sif's voice was farther away now. I heard the clink of glass bottles from what I assumed was the kitchen, but I didn't bother to turn my head and look. "You need to eat."
Sif came into my line of sight again, a six pack of amber bottles in one hand and a bowl of what looked like chicken wings in the other.
"I'm not hungry." I said again as I reached out and took the beer she offered me.
"You can't show up to the trial drunk."
"I'm not going," I replied, taking a swig of my beer. It was cold and bitter but left a trail of warmth trickling down my throat and settling in my empty stomach. "I'm sending my verdict with you."
"You have to attend the trial in person or you fail."
"That's bullshit."
Sif flashed me a bitter smile. "So are many of the duties that come with being queen. See why I left it yet?"
"I'm starting to." I slammed half my beer and coughed, a bit of foam dribbling down the corner of my mouth. I wiped it off on my hand and reached for another beer, but Sif beat me to it and twisted off the cap.
"I didn't know you could drink like that."
"Haven't done it since high school graduation." I replied, taking the drink and grabbing a wing. It was lukewarm like it had been stuck in a take out box. I nibbled on it without tasting it. While I wasn't hungry, I had a feeling showing up to sentence Ragnar wasted would be grounds for my elimination from the trials.
"What was that like?"
I washed down a bite of chicken with some more beer. "Some things are better left unspoken."
"I understand that," Sif toasted me with her own drink, which was nearly full. "Can we both agree not to repeat that performance tonight?"I tore off another bite of chicken and stared blankly at the table. "Suzume?"
"I won't get drunk." I promised as I took a measured gulp of my drink. "However bad I feel now will be worse if I flunk the next trial."
"Because you won't get justice for Yuki?" Sif said. If memory served, she'd never said her name aloud before and that was enough for me to look up at her.
"There will never be justice for Yuki or for Talia." I answered, a lump rising fast in my throat. "The only 'just outcome would be if they could come back to us."
Sif toasted me with her amber bottle. "Now that I can drink to."
I raised my own drink as well. "To the ones who should be here."
My friend echoed the toast and we both threw back our drinks in the hopes we'd wash down the grief too. "You lost a lot of your Valkiyre's in the latest Jotun attack." I said after a moment's pause and Sif looked away from me and began staring blankly at the table, just like I had been moments before.
"We've lost more than I could count to those creatures." Sif's voice was graver than I'd ever heard it.
"It's not your fault."
"I know that." Sif's hand tightened on her beer. "If you become queen, you need to do something about the Jotun. What we've been doing now...It's not working." She bowed her head and I saw a tear carve a path down her cheek.
My throat was tight as I threw back the last of my drink. "We will."
***************************
New chapter! Sorry for the delay, life has a way of interfering with writing. :( But I promise, slowly but surely, this draft will be finished and posted for your reading pleasure! Author's honor!
Write on! :)
P.S.
And to those like me who are returning to school, good luck with the new semester!