I opened my eyes, and it was like I opened them for the first time. I breathed, and it was like I breathed for the first time. I woke up, and it was like I started living for the first time. I had a shadowy chaos in my head, that consisted of shady memories and information. What was my name? Alex. Where was I? At my foster home, where everybody hated me. What day was it? The first day of high school after Christmas ... grade 11 maybe. Everything important was lost. Where were my real parents? How did I end up there? Memories of my entire childhood. What color was my hair? What about my eyes? Who was I?
My eyes wondered at my surroundings. I was in a little room with no furniture inside it, besides the bed that I was on, a closet and a small wooden table with a school bag on it that I assumed was mine. I had those faded memories of that room, but at the same time, I felt like I was seeing it for the first time. I was so confused and clueless about the situation.
And then suddenly I felt an intense, cold wave of energy penetrate through my body, forcing away my every thought and worry. It left me with that weird sensation of absolute calm and peacefulness. Another one came. Smaller, not as intense as the first one but equally cool, that had the same impact on my body. I didn't know what it was but I didn't really care. I just enjoyed it. Unfortunately, those moments of peace didn't last long.
"Wake up!" I heard a hysterical scream outside the door that made me anxious again.I rushed out of bed mechanically and got dressed. I picked up the bag, and then, only then when I randomly noticed someone looking at me, I finally stopped. I was intrigued by that person. He had medium-long black hair with untidy bangs, white, pale skin, and red, fleshy lips. His eyes captured my gaze. They were completely black, but as I was staring at them, I started noticing shades of dark blue within them that became brighter and brighter. I was lost in those magical eyes, until I finally noticed the reflection in them, and realized the stranger I was looking at, was actually me.
"You coming?" I heard a girl's voice coming from the other side of the door.
I opened the door to find... someone there.
It took me some moments but I eventually did recognize her even though, like everything else, seemed new. Information about her just appeared in my head like shiny stars, coming out of the fog in my mind. She was Kathrine. She was a classmate of mine. Also, she lived in the foster home with me and another five children. I hated her. I gasped at that last confession. I really didn't like that girl but I was completely clueless as to why.
"Hello?" I heard her voice again "Are you coming or what?"
"Yes, I'm coming." I answered her, thinking that if I wanted to make any sense of the situation I needed to follow someone. Even my, as it seemed, worst enemy. I unconsciously grabbed my bag and started walking behind Kathrine. She was a rather big girl with brown, long, curly hair. I also knew that she had beautiful hazel green eyes, even though I was only able to see her from behind.
I heard that hysterical voice again screaming. It belonged to Mary Roan, the owner of the foster home.
"Why is she screaming?" I asked Kathrine who was texting someone.
She regarded me strangely like I was missing something obvious.
"You act like you don't know that she always screams for no reason." She answered and looked away indifferently. But I really didn't know...
As we were about to exit the house I noticed three more children, three boys, around ten years of age, in a room that looked like a kitchen. They looked like siblings, all blond with blue eyes, but I couldn't be sure, because unlike Kathrine and Mary, they reminded me of nothing. They were all scared of Ms. Mary. I could feel it. Her screams started to hurt my ears, and the air suddenly became hot and thick. So much that I could barely breathe. I took one last glance at those poor children and exited the open door.
And then I breathed again. The cold air of New York city that hit me mercilessly and messed up my hair was the life force that kept me alive. I touched my hand. My skin was so cold it almost burned, but I didn't care. It was refreshing.
I continued to follow Kathrine who walked at a fast-paced in front of me. She seemed cold in her big jacket, rubbing her hands, her face covered by a woolen scarf. She was trembling but I couldn't feel any empathy. What could she have done to me, for that inexplicable detest and loathe to be reasonable?
She rushed into a bus. I mimicked her. The atmosphere in there was again horribly and suffocatingly warm. Nevertheless, the temperature of my skin remained the same. Kathrine got lost into the back seats. I just sat in the front, alone.
The blurry view from the window, as the vehicle was moving, captured my attention. All those snowflakes danced in circles with the wind, like butterflies flying a playful fly. I went closer to the window, my nose touching the glass. I felt my breath cold and I heard a very soft jingle. I touched the glass with my hands, and the same thing happened. I didn't pay any attention. I was too concentrated on the magical, snowy performance I was watching. Until that jingle became louder and the texture of the glass became spiky, under my hand. I took a step back, and what I saw was beyond beautiful. The flakes of snow still danced carefree, behind icy snowflakes that had formed on the glass. They sparkled like diamonds at the light of those few sunbeams that were able to get through the thick cloudy wall in the sky.
As strange as it sounds and is, those astonishing snowflakes, was the only thing in that day that felt right. It was no surprise. I knew it from the first time I opened my eyes and took my first breath. I had something in me. I didn't know what, but I sensed it inside my heart.
I lost Kathrine in the crowded room full of students. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there waiting like the other kids.
"School starts again huh?" I heard a high-pitched voice behind me.
It was Chris. I didn't turn to look at him but I knew exactly how he looked: he was chubby, with short black hair and brown eyes. He had that lazy and bleak gaze on his oval-shaped face, like a big misfortune had knocked his door. But it was just the fact that he hated school. I turned to face him and he matched the image in my head perfectly.
"Yeah." I answered him, while blurry memories of him, started appearing in my head. He was my only friend in school. But he wasn't. We just hung out because neither of us wanted to be, or actually appear, alone. But what is worse? Being alone or being with someone that makes you feel alone? He did make me feel alone. I knew that he didn't really like me. I did try to bond with him, but every attempt failed miserably. One thing I didn't understand about him was that he was likable to the rest of the class. He was fun and made other people laugh. He could be popular and have lots of friends but instead, he was staying with me. I believed he just had low self-confidence, but I was secretly hoping that maybe, just maybe, he liked being with me.
"Hey!" I heard Kathrine's voice. She wasn't talking to me but, surprise surprise, to Chris.
I rolled my eyes in frustration, and it was then when it happened. I saw her, Christina. My eyes touched her face and suddenly a glimpse blinded me. I was standing at a different point of the school, at the grand garden at the center. Everything was illuminated by that white shine, that made me realize that, that scene I was watching was playing in my head and only in my head. Christina was there, as beautiful as ever. Her angelic triangle-shaped face, her white skin, her chestnut long hair, and amber eyes. Her body was really beautiful too. It had the perfect proportions that every girl would be jealous of. She was smiling so innocently and sweet. I liked her. I liked her a lot. But not in the usual way that a teenage boy likes a girl, but rather innocently. Another mystery I had to figure out. Next to her was Kathrine, talking and laughing with Chris and another really tall girl, with tanned skin, brown eyes and brown hair with purple highlights that matched her purple glasses. I struggled a little bit to remember her name but I eventually did. She was Mathilde. French. The smartest student in the school and one of the cleverest persons I've ever met.
And then in my vision, I remembered the source of my hate for Kathrine. She and her friends, Christina and Mathilde, were the queen b(ee)itches of the school. Kathrine, unlike the others, was always looking at me with that mean look. Always speaking to Chris completely ignoring me, and the irony in her voice every rare time she decided to talk to me, made me want to make her suffer. And I really did want to make her suffer.
I was angry, completely unable to control my frustration. I felt my hands getting cold. I looked at them and noticed flames forming in them, which became fireballs. They weren't orange and hot, but instead they were blue, with a snowy texture. I felt them cold in my hands and little to nothing could stop me from throwing them at her, while she was looking at me with that deceptive gaze.
But I did stop.
She turned her glare away from me and gazed the sky. Her eyes had shades of fear, disbelief, and surprise. The other girls shared the same feelings. I let the flames in my hand, that nobody had noticed, extinguish and I turned to see what caused so much chaos.
Once again the shine blinded me, left me staring the scenery of reality in front of me that wasn't much different from that of the vision. Everyone was still ignoring me. I looked at my hands... but nothing was there.