✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
╚ Bold- peter & ned ╝
⚡️Ｗｈｏｒｅｓ Ｆｏｒ Ｔｈｏｒ⚡️
"ᵂᵉ ᵛ ᵀʰᵒʳˢᵗʸ"
Why does food cost so much money? I'm just trying to survive out here and live my pathetic life but it be costing me like $20 just to have a mediocre meal
Your girl is poor and doesn't wish to starve
Peter
(Y/n) stop
Ned
No, let her continue. She has a point
Peter
Honestly couldn't even tell over my rotting bank account
TONY STARK IS PRACTICALLY YOUR FATHER!!! YOU'LL SURVIVE
IF ANYTHING WERE TO HAPPEN FINANCIALLY TO YOU TONY WOULD COME IN AND SAVE YOUR FACKING ASS
Ned
Facking??
Peter
Yes fack. Fack's our new thing. Get on our level
Accept the fack or go sit on a tack
Ned
Go off I guess
Like I tried the whole starving thing before because my parents are #rude and don't buy the necessities of life, and let me just say it's not the peanut to my butter
Peter
And we're back to this topic
Do YoU wAnT mE tO sTaRvE pEtEr???
People need food to live Peter. Do you wish for me to die?!
Ned
Wow, Peter. That's so rude
Peter
Shut it
Ned
Betrayed by my own best friend. I'm wounded
(Y/n), want to be my new best friend?
Gladly😊
Peter
Offended
Good
Ned
As a traitor like you should
Peter
Is this how Mr. Stark feels on the Avengers' chat
Idk. Why don't you go ask him
Also tell him I'm poor and need food money
Ned
I too need food money
And confidence hat money
And money money
Yes, money money is also what I need
And baseball hat money
Peter
Ned
I feel like I'm getting stabbed in the heart... oh wait, I am
*clears throat*
Peter
I save all of your asses on the daily and this is the thanks I get? So disrespectful
Suffer
Peter
Been there, done that
Ned
That's a whole ass mood
I'll take my thanksgiving turkey with a nice side of suffering
Peter
That doesn't sound that appetizing
Stop judging my life choices, PeTeR
Ned
Y'all spicy
Peter
WHAT.
THE.
Peter
FACK.
Ned
I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now
Peter
YES! THAT'S HOW IT FEELS!
100% sure that Loki said that during some point in his life
Ned
How would you know that? You never met him
I talk to Thor a lot. He tells me stories. It's always a good time
Peter
At this point, I feel like Thor accidentally adopted you without realizing it
Just like Tony did to you
Peter
Touché
Ned
I want to be accidentally adopted by an Avenger
Peter has Tony Stark (and Pepper Potts)
(Y/n) has Thor and Natasha Romanoff
I FEEL SO EXCLUDED
I feel like you would vibe well with Bruce Banner
Peter
I could see it. He radiates a similar chaotic energy
But would he vide with the Hulk? They're a packaged deal. Two for one kind of deal
Peter
If either of them knew you called them that, you'd probably become a (Y/n) pancake
That's the goal
Ned
The Hulk is cool and Dr. Bruce Banner is cool. I accept
That'll be $19.99
Peter
Plus shipping and handling
Ned
I only have 69 cents
You know what that means
Ned
I don't have enough money to buy chicken nuggets (an avenger parent)
Peter
There, there
*pat pat*
Ned
Please stop treating me like a dog when I'm clearly a wolf
On all levels except physical, I am a wolf
Ned
Peter
The hell did you get that?!?!!
I second that
Ned
This is a Thor appreciation chat at it's core. Of course I have Thor reaction gifs at my disposal
Yeah, same here, but like that's from THE OG ASGARD
Peter
YOU KNOW LIKE THE ONE THAT EXPLODED
Ned
Calm your titties, I found it on the internet. Don't come hounding me
Thor is onto you, Ned
Peter
And how'd you get that??
Old security footage. Tony gave me access as a bribe
Ned
Ok, but why
I was bribed to keep my mouth shut in more ways than one for a reason I cannot disclose
Peter
The fact that I don't know makes me want to know why even more
Anywho, these gifs of Thor really make me miss his long hair but his short hair is also very hawt and now I am confusion
MY EMOTIONS ARE CONFLICTED
Ned
Relatable
Peter
I feel you
Like I want him to grow it out but at the same time the short hair is just the greatest thing I've ever basked my eyes upon
Ned
If he ever grows it out, I want to touch it
It looks so soft
Peter
Weird
But valid
So back to my food dilemma, if I choose to "save money" and make my own meals, I still have to buy ingredients which adds up. Cooking is fun and all, but I can't cook that well or that many different things
If I go out and get something to eat I could either risk my health and eat cheap fast food or go into debt because I got food from an actual restaurant
Ned
I feel a special connection to those words
Peter
Same here. Neither May or I can cook, so we just eat out all the time and it costs so much
I fight crime but I don't pay a dime
The Tragedy of Spider-Man of Queens
Ned
Is that a...?
Loki had a play called the Tragedy of Loki of Asgard when he impersonated Odin. It was about his "death" and how he saved Asgard
Peter
Let me guess, Thor told you that
Omg how'd you know
Peter
It was just a hunch
Well this was fun and all, but I actually have to go get some food. I've been sitting in the Target parking lot texting you guys instead of buying food like I was told to
My parents are getting suspicious
✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔ Regular- peter ╗
╚ Bold- ned ╝
Just saying, but I'm rooting for you and (y/n) to date
You too??
This is you at her:
-__-
Don't use my face against me
And this is (y/n) at you:
Of course you use Thor for her
Thor is the only thing that keeps the world on its axis
You two love him an unhealthy amount
So do you. Admit it, coward!!
sᴇᴇɴ 𝟸:𝟷𝟹 ᴘᴍ
Bitch
sᴇᴇɴ 𝟸:𝟷𝟻 ᴘᴍ