Nora Ko-Harvey sat beside her mother and watched with a detached yet strained numbness all of the people dressed in black milling about. Black or gray, navy blue, and sometimes dark brown, but mostly black. No one stood out, and she found this comforting. Nora was not interested in standing out. At least that's what she told herself. By the time she'd reached her current age of twenty-five, she had established a lifestyle that was perfectly satisfactory and sensible. All the necessities were in place. A good job with the family business. A home with her sister and mother who loved her and on whom she could count. And, until a few days ago, a beloved uncle who had been the closest thing to a father she'd had for a decade.
Everyone she knew and many she did not were here in Greens Mortuary on Geary Boulevard to say goodbye to Cole Harvey. A heart attack had been his end—right in front of their teashop. His younger brother, Nora's father Peter Harvey, and her mother Margaret Ko had opened the shop in Cole's building right before Peter's own demise from an aneurysm ten years ago. He was relatively young—just fifty. Nora had been fifteen and her sister Rainey thirteen. To suddenly be without a father—how to explain the sensation? It was like a wound. A ripped, jagged, dangerous hole, blood vessels and nerve endings exposed. She was feeling it all over again. Her skin was constantly chilly, and she suffered from an oozing sort of stupefaction. Every now and then, pain would boil up to the surface of her consciousness, her eyes welling with tears, which would have been fine if she were at home. Here in the mortuary, she was forced to either weep in public or hurry off to the bathroom at a brisk walk, returning sympathetic smiles with her own brave one, commanding herself, Do not run. Once inside, she'd muffle her sobs in a towel, making as sure as she could that neither Rainey nor her mother could hear her. Because what would become of them all if they did?
Rainey and Margaret harbored no reservations about showing emotions. They were the most emotive people Nora knew. Take now for instance. She perched on a sofa next to them as they cycled through what seemed like a set list of crying jags. They sniffled and sobbed into already sopping handkerchiefs. The three were ensconced on one of the funeral home's receiving couches, a peach sateen affair that Nora found disconcerting. It was preferable to going into the other room where the ceremony would take place, where Uncle Cole's empty body lay in an open casket surrounded by giant displays of flowers and a poster-size black-and-white photo of him in his middle age, when his sideburns had begun to silver. Nora had done all this. She had organized everything down to the songs that played over the sound system, the poems his friends would read, and the appetizers that would be passed around in the receiving room afterwards.
Taking a deep breath, she prepared to stand up, and a young man offered her his hand.
"Hello. I'm Theo Furlan, Cole's grandson." He had straight, almost black hair, an olive complexion, brown eyes, and a beautiful, perfect nose.
A first thought popped into her head as she stood to shake his hand: I am in love. A swift second thought: I am screwed! It was unlike Nora to think, never mind say, a vulgarity. But as their hands touched, she knew both sentiments were true. Her heart was zinging—and he was her cousin.
Theo looked her in the eye and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss."
She ran her gaze over—a little too long than polite—an old, faded scar on his chin before mumbling thank you and letting his hand go. Her mother immediately became enraptured and insisted he sit down. He obliged as Rainey and Margaret scooted away from each other, creating a space on the slick peach cushions. Margaret turned to her daughters to explain just who this man was. There was nothing she liked more than to hear herself talk, and the habit only got her into trouble now and then, although it embarrassed Nora at least once a week in ways she could never anticipate.
"Uncle Cole is indeed Theo's grandfather. Cole married very young, and it didn't go well, and he never married again," Margaret said. "That was part of the reason your father waited so long to marry, because of his older brother's terrible experience."
"Mother!" Nora protested, glancing meaningfully at Theo, who couldn't know how blunt and direct Margaret could be.
At the same time Rainey chimed, "Lucky for you Daddy waited for the right girl, right, Mom?"
"He was my true love," Margaret said, staring off into the distant. How the faults of the dead become expunged, Nora thought. Yes, her parents had been in love, but their marriage hadn't been perfect, and neither had her father. There was no such thing.
Margaret blinked herself out of her reverie. "Besides, Nora, I'm sure it's nothing he doesn't already know, right, Theo?"
Theo nodded, appearing to gauge his new companions and his answer. "I know Grandfather Cole and Grandmother Ivory divorced, yes."
"That's right. Cole and Ivory divorced soon after adopting Theo's mother, Bunny."
"Ivory and Bunny," Rainey snorted. "I still can't believe those names are for
real."
"Rainey, don't be rude," Nora chided.
Rainey turned her thousand-watt smile on Theo. "Oh, no offense."
"None taken," he said.
"Actually, I can't be one to talk. My name is Rainey."
"We named her after the doctor that delivered her," Margaret explained.
"My mother's actual name is Nancy," he said. "But everyone calls her Bunny. It's a nickname that stuck when she was a child."
"That's sweet," Nora said, and Theo smiled across Margaret at her, causing the skin on her cheeks to warm up. She was sure they were red and she was glad Rainey wasn't paying any attention or she'd never hear the end of it.
Rainey had a habit of embarrassing Nora much more often than their mother did, in a pointed, personal way reserved for sisters.
"Right...Nancy." Rainey snapped her fingers. "That's what Uncle Cole called her. Not that he talked about her, like, ever. Why is it we haven't met you before?"
Nora wanted to tell her again not to be rude, but she was actually curious to know the answer herself, and held back.
Theo looked at his feet and hesitated.
Margaret drew herself up with a big, important inhalation of breath. "Uncle Cole and Bunny fell out with each other. I remember it hit a high point just before Peter passed away. Weren't you supposed to come for a visit, Theo? I recall Cole discussing it with Peter. But then you didn't. Cole was rather upset over it."
Theo squeezed his hands together tightly, his elbows on his knees and gaze on the faux Persian rug. "I don't know the details of that. But I do wish I'd been able to get to know my grandfather better."
Rainey nodded. "Yeah, you really missed out. He was one of the most wonderful people in the entire world." Her chin started to quiver. "I can't believe he's gone. I mean, he's lying there—" she gestured to the other room with the casket. "But it can't be real. It just can't!"
And, here we go, Nora thought, as her sister slid away from the slippery couch, overcome with loud sobs. Funeral guests turned to look and frown in despair. Theo caught Nora's eye. She smiled apologetically, hoisted her sister off the floor, and wrapped her arm around the drama queen's shoulders. Gently but firmly, she steered Rainey through the small throng to a far corner of the room where a side table held just one thing—a well-placed box of tissues. Nora fed tissues into her sister's hands, at first shushing her in a tender, sympathetic way, and then, as interest in the outburst died and the funeral attendees turned away, with a little more intensity.
"Rainey, you've got to get it together," Nora whispered, and Rainey nodded but let out a little wounded-dog yowl. "Do not lose it. I need you and so does Mother."
Rainey nodded again, but the tears, not to mention the mucus, kept coming.
Nora tried another tactic. "You're getting all puffy. And blotchy."
With a sudden, giant sniff, Rainey stopped crying. She dabbed at the last of her tears. "I actually look good when I cry."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"Not."
"Do."
"Should I pull out my compact and prove it?"
Rainey didn't have anything to say to this. She took a few deep breaths, dabbing at her eyes and nose. Nora watched her for signs of relapse. With one last big inhalation, Rainey took a look around the room and began making random comments about what people were wearing. Although Nora found this habit of her sister's shallow, it also signaled that Rainey had found her composure again, such as it was. Her eyes came to rest on Theo Furlan, who sat attentively listening to Margaret as she told a story that required grandiose arm gestures.
"Theo's cute, don't you think?"
Nora sighed. "He's our cousin."
"Second cousin. And—hello!—he's the son of our adopted cousin. Don't bust out the dueling banjos just yet, sister."
"It's still...not right. To think of him like that."
Rainey chuckled. "I'd think of him like that even if he were a real cousin. He's kind of hot. But, not really my type. Seriously, how hard is it to choose a suit that's not wrinkled?"
Nora sighed again. But this time in relief. Rainey liked her men well groomed. There would be no sisterly competition. That notion was completely unbidden. No, no, no! I can't think of him that way. I should not be thinking of him at all! I'm in mourning, for goodness sake. Today was not the day to finally find the man of her dreams. And a very inappropriate candidate at that.
"We should get back." She almost asked Rainey if she was ready to be poised and calm, but such queries often backfired with her sister remembering what a dramatic effect she had successfully conjured, thus going into her second act.
One of their regular customers, Mrs. Saunders, stood with her husband and a group of Cottage Tea Salon friends who often met there with their book club. As Nora and Rainey turned to return to Margaret, the older woman stopped them each with a hug to her soft, plentiful chest. "We are so sorry, girls."
"Thank you."
"He was such a good man. I was just telling Frank here what a light he was in the community."
Frank Saunders coughed. "He took me to a Niners game a few times. Outstanding seats."
Nora nodded politely. "He was an avid football fan."
"Say," Mr. Saunders had an exaggerated casual air about him. "Do you happen to know what's going to happen to his season tickets?" His wife swatted his midsection with the back of her hand and hissed, "Really, Francis!"
Rainey glared. "He's taking them to his grave. They're in the coffin right now, tucked into his suit pocket. Would you like to check?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Rainey. Mrs. Saunders, thank you for coming." Nora pulled her sister by the hand but not before Rainey's "What the fuck?" rang out for those in the vicinity to soak up.
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Hi Wattpad readers! Thank you for reading the first part of HEARTS & MINDS! The first chapter is kind of long, so I've decided to split it up into two parts. Read on for the next part—and please don't forget to vote and comment. Thank you! —Olivia