1675
One of the things she loved most about Easter was that it meant spring had arrived. And best of all, Lent would soon end and her fasting with it. Scarron could attack her all she wanted like Louise once did, but one sin didn't mean she couldn't show her devotion in other ways. She'd been careful to abide by her Lent fasting.
During Lent the parties of Versailles died down. The courtiers she passed in the hallways looked pinched and grumpy. The court was always at its happiest when alcohol and parties flowed freely. Unlike the other courtiers, the break hadn't bothered her. She used the time to rest and entertain the king. Less parties meant more time at his side, but she hadn't seen him the past two days, leaving a constant nagging worry in the back of her mind.
When she entered the chapel she found it almost empty. Two ladies sat and prayed in the pews, their mumbled prayers sounding like chanting. She could almost understand why the queen spent so much time here. The quiet mixed with the beauty of the decorations and architecture gave the room a peaceful air that beckoned her toward the confessional. Worry swam thick through her head. The priests had spent Lent delivering sermons condemning adultery and even called on the king to set an example for his country. It was enough for her to wonder if Maintenon was working against her by encouraging the priest.
A man popped out of the confessional and walked away with hurried steps, his eyes cast down. She stepped into the tight space, squeezing her skirts through the doorway. Her dress bunched around her as she took the seat. Like every other time, she would confess her adultery. She'd gotten so used to the confession it no longer made her stomach flutter. They were just meaningless words she no longer put any thought to. She opened her mouth and repeated them once again to the confessional grille. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I committed adultery with a married man." Her droning sounded flat and bored.
The priest shifted on the other side. "Madame Montespan? Is that you?" Father Lécuyer said. Venom laced his words. "The Madame Montespan scandalizing France? I've been waiting for you."
She opened her mouth in shock, but no sound came out. Finally she managed a simple "What?"
"You must cease your scandals and throw yourself at the feet of Jesus Christ!" He yelled loud enough she was certain anyone waiting their turn would hear. The thought of this private moment becoming court gossip made her cheeks burn. "Until you stop scandalizing your country, expect no forgiveness."
Dread tickled her insides and she steeled herself. "But then I won't be able to take Easter Communion." She never missed communion. She abided by as many of the Church rules as she could. And if adultery really was a grave sin, she had every reason to need forgiveness. She was willing to make sacrifices for the king, but her soul wasn't one of them. "I can here for forgiveness, not a lecture."
"Repent and give up your adultery and then I will grant you forgiveness."
"That doesn't seem fair. I bet you don't demand the same of anyone else." Her words came out thick through her dry mouth.
"Come back when you give up your life of sin."
Anger roared through her veins. "The king will hear of this," she promised as she burst out of the confessional. A man sitting nearby stared at her with his head tilted in curiosity. She kept her gaze forward and her heavy steps even as she made her way up the chapel aisle, refusing to give in to the frantic pounding of her heart. She couldn't tell if the feeling of eyes watching her was real or all in her head. It was a feeling she should be used to, but after the priest's declaration the feeling of being watched made the skin on her arms stand on end. The click of her heels against the floor struck her as too loud.
Finally, she reached the door and she fled the suffocating room. She gathered up her skirts and rushed for the king's rooms, only to discover him behind closed doors in the state room with his counselors. She hugged herself as she considered her next move. Two guards stood at the doors, keeping anyone from disturbing the meeting.
She turned to address the guard on the right. "Will the king be finished soon?"
"I'm afraid I don't know, madame."
"When he is finished, please tell him Madame Montespan needs to speak with him immediately."
The guard bowed. "As you wish."
She gave the door one last look of longing before retreating to her room. She should have known to be wary of his hesitation at Clagny. Her inaction would cost her, but how much?
*
"The king will find a priest to give you absolution and communion," Gabrielle said as she rubbed soothing circles on her sister's back. The privacy of Gabrielle's room kept them away from the greedy eyes of court. The maid crept in with drinks before leaving as quietly as she'd come.
"I thought I would have heard from him by now. Everything has been going so well and to have his priests trying to get rid of me makes me think Scarron is involved in some way. Her and her mission to save the king's soul. Ever since she became Marquise de Maintenon she has been plotting against me. Me, the one who brought her to court and gave her a job! I refuse to believe she doesn't want the king for herself." She fisted her hands.
"Don't overreact yet. I'll see if I can dig any information up on Maintenon. If she is plotting against you someone has to know something."
Athénaïs rested her head in her hands. "It's her pride. She doesn't like me telling her what to do. She fights against me making any decisions over the children. This is her retaliation. With me gone she could get herself in the king's bed and this could be her path to tearing him away from me."
Gabrielle's squinted in thought. "Do you think she would? She is rather pious."
"So was Louise, but that didn't stop her. She wants power over the king. That's all anyone at court wants is power." Her voice hitched. "I love him. Can't they see that?"
"I don't think they care about your love just like they didn't care about Louise's. Sometimes I wonder if some of the backstabbing nobility even know how to love."
A maid stepped into the room and curtseyed. "A letter came for Madame Montespan." She handed it over.
Athénaïs ripped it out of the maid's hands and dismissed her. She wasted no time tearing into it. As she read, her grip on the paper tightened and her forehead wrinkled. When she finished the last line she dropped the paper, making no move to stop it from fluttering to the ground. She stared at her empty hands, her mind struggling to accept the words. Gabrielle snatched the letter off the floor and began reading. When she finished she shook her head vehemently, shaking the curls on her head.
"This can't be right. The king deciding to give you up all the sudden because the priests don't approve?"
"It's Maintenon. She's increasing her hold over him. It's that priest Bossuet advising the king; he's friends with her. Whatever he said must have been pretty and full of hellfire to make the king fear for our souls." She shook herself and raised her head. "I want to go to Clagny I need...I need time. Find out anything you can about Bossuet. I'll blackmail him if need be in order to get him to stop this foolishness. But for now I...I need to go." Her voice cracked on the last word. This wasn't the outcome she expected. She thought the king would force a priest to give her absolution.
"I'll go with you." Gabrielle slid closer to her sister and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
A sob escaped Athénaïs and she clamped a hand over her mouth. She shook her head. "This can't be happening. He loves me, I know he does. How could they convince him to leave me over this? He never cared before. I bet they've been planning this and refusing me absolution was part of their plot to force his hand." She ran a hand through her hair and let out a moan as her stomach churned over the letter.
"I've thought about this day for years. I thought I would be ready when it came, but I'm not. What do I do? How am I supposed to stay at court when it will only remind me of what I lost?" With each sentence her voice cracked more and more. "I don't know how—" She broke off as a sob sent her chest heaving.
Gabrielle pulled her toward the door. "Let's get you to Clagny. You'll be more comfortable there and out of the reach of Maintenon or Bossuet. If word about this gets out, someone will come looking for you to get gossip fodder. Let's not give them the pleasure."
A minute later Athénaïs's gasping cries turned to hiccups and sniffles while her sister ordered a carriage be prepared for Clagny.
Gabrielle escorted her sister to the carriage, glaring at anyone who so much as looked their way. "We'll get this sorted out. He'll change his mind once he sees you. You'll have the king back before you know it."
By the time the carriage set off, Athénaïs was sure that the creaking came not from the wheels, but her breaking heart. Her chest throbbed like her heart had already shattered into pointed shards, leaving them to stab at her insides in rhythm with her shaky breaths. Whenever she made the mistake of feeling secure in her position, the illusion shattered soon after. She would have to find a way to march on as she always did whether her heart agreed or not.