Chapter Two- Be Careful
"I wanna get married, like the Curry's, Steph and Ayesha shit. But we more like Belly, Tommy and Keisha shit. Gave you TLC, you wanna creep and shit. Poured out my whole heart to a piece of shit. Man, I thought you would've learned your lesson'Bout likin' pictures, not returnin' texts. I guess it's fine, man, I get the message. You still stutter after certain questions. You keep in contact with certain exes. Do you, though, trust me, nigga, it's cool, though. Said that you was workin', but you're out here chasin' culo And putas, chillin' poolside, livin' two lives I could've did what you did to me to you a few times... You gon' gain the whole world. But is it worth the girl that you're losin'?" Be Careful x Cardi B
Jasmine's Point Of View
October 14, 2017
"Do you love her?" I repeated the question.
"No. Jasmine. I love you. It's always been you and it always will be."
"No. It can't be. Because if you loved me, you would've never hurt me like this." I felt the tears forming a path down my cheek.
My voice broke and revealed my vulnerability.
"We've been together for nine years and this is how you chose to end our relationship. We were supposed to be getting married in seven months. So, when were you planning on ending your affair? Or did you plan on taking her on our honeymoon too? How long was this even going on for?" I quickly swiped my face.
"Jasmine. I love you more than you know. I messed up. But I can't lose you."
"How long Sean?"
"Jasmine. It doesn't even matter."
"How fucking long?" I screamed, tears falling more rapidly now.
"Baby. It wont matter. What will that change?"
"That long. What's the exact amount of time?" I wanted to kill him.
"Baby... it doesn't-"
"Say it doesn't matter one more time and I'll fuck ya shit up right now," I grabbed the pocket knife that I always kept on me. I held the knife to his neck and dared him to try me.
" I'll answer the question but before I do, you have to put down the knife." He tried to bargain.
"Fuck that. Answer the damn question Sean. Play with me if you want to. You are not in a position to negotiate shit right now," I pressed to knife further into his skin.
Tears were abandoning my eyes. I know I must've looked like a damn mad woman, but I could care less.
" I met her on the night of our anniversary two years ago. We didn't start sleeping together until about a year ago. " I immediately dropped the knife.
I felt myself take a few steps back in disbelief before I hit the wall behind me. My legs started to sink like a heavy dish in a sink full of water.
"Baby." Sean walked towards me.
"Don't touch me. After Amerie, I was mourning our daughter for almost a year. Instead of mourning with me, you decide to isolate me and seek comfort in another woman. I begged you for months to talk to me and you always picked a fight and walked out. You left me to feel that pain alone." My voice resembled the fierceness of a snake.
"You didn't exactly welcome me with open arms. You blamed me for her death because I was staying out late and always working. You blamed me for your blood pressure being too high to safely carry our child. I'm not saying you're wrong but I felt as if I was doing what I needed to keep you and our daughter safe. We had enemies everywhere that year and I was trying to keep you two safe. If anything would've happened to you because of my beef with them westside niggas then I would've died. You are my heart. I love you so much but there was only so much I could take. You hated me after Amerie died. I was just trying to help you grieve but you just kept pushing me away. "He came closer to me and I began to stand up.
"So, you find comfort in another woman. Every time we started to argue, you walked away. When Amerie died, you left me at the hospital. You were gone for hours and I just had to sit there with our dead child in my arms for hours. You left me to grieve by myself like our child and I were some burden that you couldn't wait to get rid of. It's always business with you. When are you going to wake up and realize that your family is more important than my father's legacy. I am so tired of coming second to the family business and to you. You treat me like I'm just some bitch occupying a space. I am your fiancée. I was the mother of your child. When are you going to conclude that I have been holding you down since day one. My feelings don't matter to you. You just used me." I screamed and shoved him.
"No. I love you. Jasmine, you didn't want to be around me so much that you moved out of the house at one point. You didn't come back until six months later. I didn't leave you to grieve by yourself. I couldn't see her like that and you crying and screaming the way you were. I lost a child too. But you acted like you were the only one who lost her. She was my child too. You locked yourself in her room for months until you finally had enough and moved out and took all her belongings with you. You didn't even tell me you were leaving. I had to find out that you purchased a condo and moved into it from Janelle. Your sister told me that you were leaving me. Not you. Janelle did. You're my fiancée; you shouldn't have moved out in the first place. I love you. Whatever the issue was, we could've worked it out. My family is important to me. But everyone has their own way to grieve and mine included me throwing myself into my work."
"And sleeping with someone else. I moved out because you weren't home and I was sick of being the only one in that big ass house surrounded by memories of our daughter and a time where we were in love with each other. Every time, I came to you to tell you about how I was feeling you blew me off. You always had something better to do. I just needed you to be home with me. Not even all the time, just some of the time. Maybe, if you were home enough for us to talk, you would've been able to stop me from packing my shit up and leaving. Then you bring that bitch home and fuck her in our bed. What was I not good enough for you? I know I gained weight after Amerie and I was a little distant but that was no reason for you to cheat on me. I came back to you after I got myself together and I thought we worked out those issues but I guess not. You know what, I'm done. I won't continue to allow you to treat me as second best. If you want that weak ass bitch, you can have her. I'll be at the house within this week to collect my shit." I swiped away my tears and took a breath.
"Jasmine, that's not what I meant. I want-, "I cut him off.
"I really don't give two fucks what you want. I will catch you later, "I turned around and grabbed my phone preparing to leave the house.
"Jasmine, just stop and talk to me. When shit gets too hard for you, you're always prepared to leave. That's how we got here in the first place. STOP FUCKING WALKING AWAY FROM ME AND LISTEN." The bass in his voice reached another level. I could see his body tensed and his left eyebrow raise without even having to turn around. His chest was puffed out and his nostrils were open wide.
"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? LET'S BE FUCKING CLEAR, YOU DON'T RUN SHIT AROUND HERE. YOU FUCKED UP AND UNTIL I FEEL AS THOUGH I CAN ACTUALLY LOOK AT YOU AND TRUST YOU AGAIN, WE DON'T HAVE SHIT TO TALK ABOUT. " I barked at him walking up to him at a fast pace.
"NO, WE HAVE PLENTY TO TALK ABOUT. YOU'RE MY FIANCEE AND I LOVE YOU BUT YOU GON' STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE YOU FUCKING STUPID. Now we're gonna sit down and have a conversation like two damn adults. This conversation will not be a screaming match. Now sit." He said with so much authority in his voice it made my panties wet as fuck.
Everything in my body was telling me to sit down and obey his command but my head told me to say...
"No. Fuck this and fuck you. Go talk to that bitch you had in our bed last night. Bum ass nigga." I turned away again and strutted towards the door. But Sean was faster. As soon as I pulled the door open, he came behind me and slammed the door shut. He had me sandwiched between the door and his muscular build. His breathe circulated around my neck as his front pressed into my back.
"You really gon' leave after I told you to stay and talk it out with me,"
My chest was pressed against the door and he turned me around and lightly pressed his hand around my throat. He applied light pressure. It was enough for him to grasp my full attention but not enough to harm me. He was pissed and knew the only way to fully get my attention was to be a little rough with me.
Sean would NEVER hit me, but he knew exactly what to do to get me to stop disobeying his wishes. His aggressiveness turned me on fully but also signaled when he was being serious and losing his patience.
His breath circulated around my neck and made my panties become soaked. Everything about this man made me want to say "Fuck whatever you did. We can make it through this." But I knew that if I took him back immediately, I'd never be able to look at myself the same.
"I hate you." I whispered as I stared into his eyes. My voice sounded so raspy and hoarse. "I'm so fucking stupid. I trusted you so blindly because I have loved you for so long. You were my first everything. I had no reason not to trust you, as far as I knew at least. But here we are, nine years later, treating each other like everything but two people in love. Yet, I still find myself wanting to be held by you. I can't believe you really cheated on me. " I swiped my tears away.
"Baby, let's just talk about it please. I am so sorry. Please, don't leave me." He grabbed my face in between his hands.
"Lemme ask you this and be honest with me. " I moved out of his grasp. " If you had caught me cheating on you with some nigga in our bed, would you forgive me? Would you let me back into our home and in your space? If I treated you how you treated me, would you be able to handle it?" His hands dropped to his side.
He frowned deeply and scratched the back of his neck. He stayed silent.
"Exactly. We were almost there. We were supposed to be getting married in a few months. I guess I should thank you for saving me a trip down the aisle. I'll come get my things sometime this week. You can let yourself out."
I walked upstairs and into my room with my mind weighing heavily.
'How did we get to this point?'
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Hey Guys. I'm Back! I am so sorry that this update took so long. I didn't know which direction I really wanted to take the story. But I know what I'm bout to do. Y'all just stay tuned. How did y'all feel about this chapter? They a mess y'all. Comment and let me know. Momma Janice is played by Vanessa Calloway.