Alter Egos

Hiraeth

Hiraeth: (n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, or that maybe never was.

...

Description: In the wake of the impending Crisis, Caitlin vanishes alongside Barry. Now, trapped in an utterly fabricated and eerily perfect reality, the pair must learn to live together and adjust to their new life in the Speed Force, as well as the ramifications of what lay beyond.

Anyway, here's a 16+k fic of pure domestic fluff that nobody asked for. This is the longest one-shot I've ever written. Shout out to ArtemisSnowChase thank you so much for all your input and help planning this fic! Also just a heads up, in an attempt to avoid overcomplicating dynamics, Caitlin's/Frost's personalities won't be strictly divided in this fic. Sorry if this is in any way disappointing to any readers.

WARNING: May contain intense amounts of domesticity and graphic depictions of hand-holding. As well as, but not limited to, gross overuse of italics and semicolons. Viewer discretion is advised.

...

If asked, Caitlin Snow wasn't sure if she could pinpoint the exact moment her decision had been made. It happened gradually, like the sun slowly rising over a city.

To the outside observer, it probably seemed like a snap judgment, a spur of the moment calculation made by a weary soul who couldn't bring herself to lose anybody else. But, truthfully, the resolve had entered her mind long before the actual date arrived.

It had begun when Barry had admitted to her how scared he truly was to 'vanish in the crisis'. When he had broken down in the quiet of her med bay one night and said he wasn't ready to leave everyone and everything he loved behind; even if he knew he'd make the same decision every time. In that moment, Caitlin had made a silent vow to herself; either she was going to stop it from happening, or she was going to go with him. He didn't deserve any of this, he didn't deserve to be adrift and alone. She was going to make sure he wasn't, even if she didn't understand how yet.

So naturally, when the Crisis inevitably arrived and the angry red sky rumbled above them, Caitlin made sure to stick as close to Barry as possible, on and off the battlefield. In the end, she found herself standing next to the Flash, Eobard Thawne's strained and ragged laughs drifting through the air.

"You're done, Thawne," Barry said through gritted teeth, kneeling above the battered body of the other speedster.

Eobard's laughter only intensified, his shoulders shaking from the mirth of whatever it was he found so funny.

"Did you really think," he gasped out, "it was just a coincidence that the sky was Flash red?"

Barry froze in place, eyes drifting to the crackling crimson storm above them. Suddenly, he reached forward and grabbed Eobard by the collar, yanking him up to face him.

"What did you do?" Barry bit out.

Eobard only smiled through blood-stained teeth, allowing his head to lull back a little under the Flash's hold.

"I didn't have to do anything, that's the beauty of it. Realities are colliding, Flash, the Speed Force has been torn open," he explained in an easy, low tone. "And if you want even a chance at stopping it or salvaging any form of reality, you're going to have to make a sacrifice."

"What does that mean?" Caitlin spoke up from beside Barry, willing her voice to remain firm and steady.

The Reverse Flash's gaze slid to her, a familiar kind of fondness in his eyes. The same way he used to look at her and Cisco when they solved a particularly difficult problem. It made her feel uneasy, the old sting of betrayal clawing it's way back to the surface.

"Barry is a living Speed Force generator," he replied calmly, "he can take it back with him, he can fix it."

"So the way I see it," Eobard continued, his eyes drifting back to Barry, "you can either stay here and try to stop me, or you can go into the Speed Force and save the day like a good little hero. It's time to decide, Barry. Which is more important to you? Getting your revenge on me, or saving the lives of everyone you love?"

Barry leveled his gaze with the other speedster, a silent fire burning within him.

"Tick tock, Flash. Tick tock."

Then, just as suddenly as Barry had latched onto him, he let go, the speedster's head slamming back down onto the pavement with a thud.

Eobard only chuckled quietly, "That's what I thought."

Barry soon rose from where he had been kneeling and drew in a fortifying breath. He then turned back to Caitlin, Ralph and even Oliver, an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Barry, please tell me you're not seriously considering this," Cisco's voice crackled over the coms.

"Cisco, he's telling the truth. If I do this, it should work, and even if it doesn't...I have to try."

After that, a heavy silence settled onto all of them; they all knew what came next. They had made peace with it, and had already said their goodbyes to Barry and even to each other. Now all that was left was to go through the motions.

A crackle of lightning tore through the sky above them, as though urging him on impatiently. Barry steeled himself and pulled his cowl back over his head, squaring off his gaze as a Speed Force portal appeared in front of him. Lightning began to snake and surge around him and Caitlin took that as her cue to act.

She reached out, her fingertips grasping his shoulder just as the world around them ground to a halt. Barry was startled by the action, whirling around to face her. She had to adjust her grip to stay anchored, her hand sliding down the side of his arm and coming to a stop at his wrist.

"Caitlin," he began, his words carrying an edge. "What are you doing?"

"I'm coming with you," she declared softly, lightning steadily encircling them.

"No," Barry breathed out shaking his head. "No, you're—"

"Yes, I am."

"Caitlin."

"Barry."

"Alright, listen to me," Barry quickly shifted tactics, bringing his hands up to rest on the sides of her shoulders. "You saw the articles, this is a one-way trip. Caitlin, there's no coming back from this. For either of us."

"Maybe. Maybe not," Caitlin reasoned, "Everything has changed, nothing is set in stone now. And even if it is—" she added, her brown eyes flickering up to meet his green ones, "—at least you won't be alone."

Barry let out a quiet sigh, scrubbing his hand over his face. "Look, I've spent months making peace with all of this, and thinking about everybody that I'll never see again and what this is gonna do to them. But I don't have a choice here. You do. You don't have to do this. Think about what this might do to the people in your life. Caitlin—"

"I have," she cut in with a calm kind of finality.

She had thought about it, quite a bit, actually. She thought about Cisco and his new (and for the most part ordinary) life. She thought about Ralph, and how much he had grown as a person and as a hero. She thought about her mother and the months of radio silence that had stretched between them. She thought about Wally and his recent (and permanent) return to Central City. And throughout all of it, she thought about how she might fit into it all, and whether or not she even wanted to try without Barry around. So yes, she had thought about it, and all it had really done was strengthen her resolve. They didn't need her, not anymore, not in the way they once had, and not in the way that Barry did right now.

"I have," she repeated quietly.

Barry regarded her for a few moments more, a mix of sadness and unease clouding his features. Yet, below it all there was a relief, and perhaps even a bit of gratitude.

"And you're sure about it? A hundred percent?" Barry questioned once more.

"Three thousand percent," she replied with an easy smile.

Barry only let out a shaky and breathy laugh, sliding his hand down to interlock with hers. "Okay then."

After that, they turned to the awaiting portal, and together they walked away, disappearing into the chaotic whirlwind of lightning.

...

Caitlin wasn't entirely sure what she had expected the Speed Force to be like, and honestly, she hadn't really had the time to consider it. All she had really had to go on was what Cisco and Barry had told her from their previous encounters with it. So between those two stories, there was a 50/50 chance it would either be a swirling storm of lightning and chaos, or an eerie and empty mirror of their home world.

She had mentally prepared herself for both scenarios.

What she had not expected, however, was the bright sunny skies and steady stream of traffic that flowed outside the window of CC Jitters. Barry sat across from her at their little table, quietly stirring his coffee. All around them the cafe was bustling, the low sound of chatter and spoons clanking against dishes filling the background.

"This isn't what it was like the last time I was here," Barry kept his voice low, eyes drifting to the happy, oblivious patrons. "I mean I don't remember the last time I was here, but when I went to get Wally it wasn't this..." he trailed off.

"Mundane?" She supplied.

He nodded. "But then again, it was pretty angry at me then," he added.

"Well, whatever the reason, let's just be happy it isn't anymore. I would've hated to have to spend the rest of our lives running from Time Wraiths. Or Dementors, according to Cisco," she replied, almost fondly.

Barry chuckled from behind his coffee mug.

"So what do we do now?" Caitlin said after a beat, wrapping her hands around her own mug and allowing the warmth to seep into her palms.

Barry paused, considering it. "Maybe...maybe we could go back to our lives? I know it's not the same, or maybe not even real, but our friends and family are here, and maybe that's enough," he concluded, eyes drifting over the utter normalcy that surrounded them.

Caitlin pressed her lips together thoughtfully, then shook her head slowly, wordlessly. She didn't like it. It wasn't the same, she knew it wasn't; but she resolved to give it a shot, for Barry's sake at least. She then picked up her coffee cup and took a steady sip, if only to give herself something to do.

After that day, they adopted a routine. They would go about their normal lives with the same (fake?) people they always had, as though nothing had changed. They would smile and laugh at all the right times and never say a word to shatter the delicate (and utterly false) reality before them.

But, they always made sure to meet at Jitters at least once a day. To talk freely with one and other, or simply to be in the presence of the only other real person in the entire world. Caitlin had found herself taking solace in their little meetings; it was a welcomed relief in the rigidly phony facade she had forced herself to assume.

It was exhausting honestly, and it didn't help that she barely saw Barry at the lab because nothing ever seemed to go wrong in this new world of theirs. In the entirely of the time they had been there, not once had a meta alert pinged.

It was on the tenth day that Caitlin found herself sitting across from Barry, a troubled and distant look on his face. He had been quiet for the better part of twenty minutes, practically glaring at his cup of coffee. She had tried to talk to him, but only received a quiet "I'm fine," before he once again lapsed into broody silence.

Caitlin had resigned herself to an uncommunicative lunch and shifted her focus to her latte and croissant.

"I can't do it anymore," Barry spoke up abruptly, surprising Caitlin. "I can't keep pretending that everything is alright, that it's the same. It's not," he continued, a pained kind of tired in his voice.

Caitlin felt as though a crushing weight had been lifted, she had been ready to stop pretending on day three.

"I know what you mean," she answered, understandingly. "The people here, even the people we love, they aren't really...people. Sometimes it feels like talking to a computer."

Barry inclined his head in agreement, grimacing a little.

"Now what?" Caitlin directed the question to both him and herself, leaning back in her chair.

Barry blew out a slow thoughtful exhale, running a hand through his dark hair.

"What if we just went somewhere else," the idea spilled from Barry's lips quickly, desperately. "You and me, let's just go. We can find new jobs. Get an apartment or a house and live somewhere we won't have to constantly be reminded of everyone we left behind. You know?"

He stopped for a moment, his gaze flickering from their surroundings then solely to her.  "What do you say?"

Caitlin sat in quiet contemplation, Barry's offer sinking in. At first, the idea seemed utterly insane and impulsive. They couldn't just pick up their stuff and leave, could they? Surely it couldn't be that simple.

Yet, the more Caitlin thought about it, the more tempting the proposal became. She soon caught herself smiling at the thought of it, a new sense of peace and even relief unfurling within her.

"Okay," Caitlin accepted, an oddly giddy sensation bubbling beneath her words. "Let's do it."

A grin engulfed Barry's features and all the previous tension he had held seemed to melt away. They began to discuss the idea excitedly, their attitudes the most natural and relaxed they had been since the day they arrived.

After that, Barry was all smiles and ease, even going as far as to reach across the table and attempt to steal a bite of Caitlin's croissant.

The next several days were spent mostly at Jitters or tucked away in a quiet corner of S.T.A.R. Labs. They talked over all the details and sifted through various newspaper ads and websites. They even looked at a few places here and there, but failed to find one that really suited them both.

Then finally, on day four of playing House Hunters, they found exactly what they were looked for. It was a townhouse just east of the city's metropolitan area; geographically, it was far enough removed that they wouldn't have to deal with a lot of neighbors, but not so far that it was rural.

"Not too far, not too close, it's just right," Barry had joked from where he sat cross-legged on the pipeline floor.

"Since when are we in Goldilocks and the Three Bears?" She quirked an eyebrow, peeking at him from over the newspaper she held.

Barry only shrugged, "Nothing else here is exactly normal, it probably wouldn't surprise me if there were three bipedal bears around here somewhere."

"Be careful what you wish for," Caitlin mumbled absently, turning her attention back to the ad.

Barry only laughed.

The house itself was two stories and came lightly furnished, but still allowed room to add their own personal flair. It was modern yet cozy, with two bedrooms, two baths, and a decent-sized living room and kitchen. The kitchen came with modern appliances, accents of black and gray darting across the cabinets. The countertops were all sleek, black marble, with a kitchen bar off to the side that served as a table. Furniture wise, the bedrooms were bare but the living room already had a couch and a tv screen mounted on the wall in front of it.

Needless to say, Caitlin and Barry were quite impressed after they completed the walkthrough. They stayed close together as they trailed behind the realtor, mentioning what they each liked about the house and discussing ways to improve what they didn't.

However, the deal had been sealed when they were told the price the owners were willing to accept. The realtor just smiled politely and stepped out to get the paperwork. 

Left alone, they stood quietly in the foyer. A ghost of a smile tugged at Barry's lips as he glanced around, bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet. Caitlin couldn't help but mirror the same expression; they could make this place their own, their new home, their safe haven.

The rest of the week was spent packing up and moving they're belongings.

They started with Caitlin's apartment, because she lived alone and it was easier to avoid any cheap copies of their friends and family. Nobody asked what they'd been up to, nor did anybody call, so it was easy to stay focused and forget about it all for a while.

However, they both knew eventually they were going to have to face the music and at least tell (fake?) Iris about their plans. How she would react, they had no way of knowing for sure.

It was on a particularly chilly and overcast day that Caitlin ended up loading boxes of Barry's things into the back of her car. The gentle sound of raindrops pattered on the pavement around her, making small pools all along the driveway.

A sudden (yet somehow comforting) gust of wind swept over her, blowing her hair in all directions.

"That should be the last of the clothes," the speedster informed from where he now stood, leaned against the side of her car.

"And this should be the last of everything," she supplied, slamming the back hatch closed with no small amount of satisfaction.

They both stood there for a moment afterward, smiling at each other like idiots.

Are we really doing this? Barry seemed to ask without words.

I guess so. Caitlin seemed to reply just the same.

Their moment of silent understanding stretched on until Barry spoke up.

"You're soaked," he frowned, reaching up to brush away a strand of damp hair that clung to her forehead.

"Well, not all of us can get dry by running at super speed," she reminded wryly.

He gave her an incredulous smile and shook his head. "Come on, let's get you dried off before we leave."

He moved around to her side and took off his jacket, draping it over her shoulders. Caitlin assured him she was fine, but Barry insisted and began to usher her towards the door.

Nevertheless, his attempts were interrupted by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Caitlin was pretty sure both their stomachs dropped. The gentle squeak of brakes filled their ears, and Iris stepped out of the car a not long after. She greeted them both happily and insisted they come inside, even offering to make some hot tea.

Both Caitlin and Barry were soon standing in the loft kitchen, shifting on their feet awkwardly. Caitlin still stood with Barry's jacket over her shoulders, her damp clothes making a small puddle on the floor.

"So, what have you guys been up to?" Iris inquired, turning away from the water she had just poured in the kettle.

Barry shot Caitlin an uneasy glance, his eyes pleading the question; what do I tell her?

It was a good question. Because how exactly was Barry supposed to tell his wife who wasn't actually his wife that he was moving out with another woman, (who he definitely wasn't romantically involved with) because he couldn't stand to be reminded of the actual family and life he'd lost? Yeah, it was a weird one. But then again, if she wasn't real, maybe she wouldn't even care.

The truth, was Caitlin's silent reply, tell her the truth.

Barry appeared to get her meaning because he turned back to Iris and spoke.

"Um..." he started, a distinct nervous pitch in his voice, "moving actually. Ca...Caitlin and I have been looking for a new place and we finally found a good one. We just finished packing actually." His words came out rushed a jumbled as he gestured to the car outside.

All the while, Iris stood there and listened patiently, the kettle beginning to whistle behind her.

"Wh...what do you think of that?" Barry stuttered the question out, running a clammy palm over the back of his neck.

Caitlin was actually surprised by how much this whole situation made her want to throw herself into oncoming traffic. Or at least crawl into a hole somewhere and never emerge.

However, Iris only smiled the same polite smile that everyone in this world seemed to wear. "Whatever makes you happy," she answered brightly.

It was probably meant to be reassuring, but somehow all it did was unsettle them both. After the tea, the pair stepped back out and got into the car. Caitlin started the engine and quickly peeled out of the driveway. Neither of them ever looked back.

In the weeks that followed, both Barry and Caitlin had a lot of adjusting to do.
Caitlin stopped returning to S.T.A.R. Labs and Barry asked Singh if he could take an indefinite leave of absence. The Captain had agreed, almost eerily uttering the phrase, "Whatever makes you happy, Allen."

With nothing to distract them, they soon set to work unpacking and decorating their new home. It was a challenge at first, merging both of their styles and learning to work with each other in a new and unfamiliar setting.
Despite the bumps along the way, they made it work (as they always did).

What took the most getting used to was their difference in cleaning habits. Caitlin was a very organized person, she liked to keep all her things in order, regardless of the setting. Barry on the other hand...didn't. Now, that wasn't to say that he couldn't be organized. Caitlin knew he could be from watching him work, his job required him to do so. At home was another story entirely. He would often let things pile up in various corners and chairs in such a way that would make Caitlin's eye twitch.

Thankfully though, he was pretty good at realizing when it was getting to be too much and would promptly speed clean it. It was satisfying, Caitlin had found, watching it all vanish away.

By the time two weeks elapsed, they finally had their house "just right," as Barry had put it, in an unnecessarily high pitched 'Goldilocks' voice.

They had arranged and rearranged until they found a configuration that they could agree on. Caitlin added a few chairs and glass coffee table to the living room, and Barry hung enough pictures to fill a photo album. He even managed to go steal their favorite group photo from the lab.

The bedrooms and kitchen came much easier. The bedrooms, because they each had their own, and the kitchen, because it already came with appliances. All that was left after that was to go on a grocery run and get enough plates and glasses for two.

When they were satisfied with the house, they moved on to the backyard.

It was decently sized and rectangular, a latticed wooden fence cropping it out neatly. The grass and weeds were thick and unkempt, but otherwise, the space was in good condition. It took a little work, but eventually, they got it all trimmed down to a manageable level.

Caitlin made soil beds and planted a pretty sizable garden. It was comprised of mostly flowers, like daisies and roses (Barry even managed to convince her to plant Chionodoxa, though he insisted on calling them Glory of the Snow) but there were also vegetables, as well as a few strawberry bushes sprinkled here and there.

While she did that, Barry had set to work adding his own flair to their little outdoor space. By the time he was done, there was an intricate stone path that stretched from the backdoor to a small patio area with a fire pit. He had also stretched a hammock between two of the trees nestled in the corner of the yard. Because, according to him, hammocks were awesome.

When it was all said and done, Caitlin had smiled contently as she looked over all their hard work. It was home now, it was cozy, it was theirs.

One might think it would be smooth sailing from then on. After all, they were settled in and pretty successfully separated from any painful reminders of the world they left behind. Caitlin found herself a new job at a local clinic, and Barry began teaching forensic and criminology courses at the Central City University.

Everything had gone as planned, better than planned, actually. But of course, even in a world as unsettlingly perfect as the Speed Force, problems still arose.

It had started small; a fitful night's rest here, or a bad dream there. It wasn't anything that Caitlin wasn't accustomed to. She had started having nightmares after the Particle Accelerator and had never really stopped having them. Yet there was something more pronounced about the dreams she was having now, they were becoming more frequent and increasingly darker in nature.

It all came to a head when Caitlin awoke one night with her heart hammering in her chest, images of her bloody and dead loved ones still imprinted behind her eyes. She sat straight up as the sounding of screaming filled her ears, frost instinctively flaring in her palms.

It took her a moment to realize the screams were her own.

A sudden gust of wind and a flash of orange lightning filled the room. Caitlin felt the panic in her chest ease up a little, the ice in her veins melting away.

Barry's pajama-clad form appeared in her field of vision, his posture defensive and ready to pounce upon whatever silent intruder had invaded their home. However, upon realizing there was absolutely no one and nothing there, he quickly moved to Caitlin's bedside and knelt down.

"Caitlin, what's wrong? What happened?" He questioned frantically, his worried features catching her eye in the low light.

"It's fine. Everything's fine. It was just a dream," she explained a little breathlessly, her hand reaching out to clutch his in the dark.

He was there, he was solid, he was real. She had to keep reminding herself of that.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she quickly leaned forward and pulled Barry close. He didn't seem too surprised by the suddenness of it, and reciprocated, his arms snaking around her abdomen and holding her tightly. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and didn't let go until the visions of his blood-stained and broken body disappeared from her mind.

Eventually, they moved apart, though Barry still kept a firm and grounding hold on her hand.

"I'm sorry for waking you up," she apologized, running her free hand through her messy auburn hair.

Her heart still thundered in her ears, but she was calmer now, the previous adrenaline beginning to drain from her system.

"You don't have to be sorry," Barry replied softly, "you're the one that was having the nightmare. A pretty bad one, it seems like."

"How long has this been going on?" Barry inquired in a low and soothing kind of way.

Caitlin breathed in slowly, shifting slightly beneath the covers.

"Years," she admitted, her tone matching his. "But it hasn't been this bad in a long time."

Barry nodded wordlessly, an understanding spreading across his features.

"I'm sorry," Caitlin repeated, shaking her head at how silly she now felt. "It's fine, really. You can go back to bed if you want."

Barry took a moment to consider her words. "I could, but I could also stay for a bit," he offered intuitively. "If you want me to, that is."

Caitlin didn't answer for the span of about ten seconds, internally debating whether or not she wanted to put up a facade and tell him everything was fine. In the end, she determined she was too tired for it.

"Would you?" Caitlin asked anxiously, the clammy hands of apprehension taking hold upon her.

"Of course," Barry gave her an assuring smile, instantly putting her at ease.

He then stood from where he had been kneeling and looked as though he was debating whether or not to lay on top of the covers. Without saying a word, Caitlin reached forward and peeled them back, scooting over a little to make room for him. Barry climbed in beside her, the mattress dipping a little from the added weight.

After that night, it became a bit of a norm for them. Whenever Caitlin would have a bad nightmare, Barry would always be there, ready to stay for however long she needed him too. Then, after a while, she began to seek him out. On the rare occasions she managed to not wake him up, she would groggily make her to his room and sleep there for the remainder of the night.

It helped. It always helped. On the nights that Barry was with her, she wouldn't have a single nightmare. She would sleep soundly and wake up feeling refreshed.

On the nights that he wasn't, however, were a different story entirely. As soon as she would drift off, she'd begin to dream, tossing and turning restlessly. Then, in the morning, she would stumble out of bed, feeling as though all the energy had been zapped from her body.

Barry seemed to take note of this because eventually, he offered to simply let her move into his room; or move into hers, whichever she preferred. Caitlin had thanked him for the gesture and declined, not wanting to encroach upon his privacy or space any more than she already had.

He seemed to pick up on that too,  immediately assuring her that she wasn't intruding and he didn't mind. She remained adamant though, but, then again, so did he. He continued to make her the offer whenever the subject arose and she continued to refuse it.

She walked by his room one day and paused, realizing he had subtly moved his bed and most of his stuff to one side of the room. She had just smiled softly and kept walking, thinking about how much she didn't deserve a friend like him.

It took two months of a hit and miss sleep pattern for her to finally cave.

One morning, she awoke after a particularly fitful night, feeling as though her legs and her limbs were weights. Nevertheless, she got dressed and ready for work, determined not to let her current state of exhaustion get the best of her. And she was exhausted, more so than she'd ever felt. Even long overnighters back in her college days hadn't ever left her feeling this drained.

Later that day, Caitlin caught herself nodding off on the toilet (ON THE TOILET) only to immediately jolt back awake. It was then that she decided she'd had enough, she couldn't keep doing this. She had already tried melatonin supplements and just about every other treatment she would've normally prescribed to a patient, and nothing had worked.

Well, that wasn't true, there was one thing she knew worked.

Caitlin took the rest of the day off, doing her best to ignore the head manager's bright "whatever makes you happy, Dr. Snow!"

She arrived home long before Barry did, and promptly began moving her things to the empty side of his room. By the time he did get back from his long day of teaching, she had everything relocated except her bed. In fact, she was in the process of moving it when he appeared with a whoosh, still clad in the tweed jacket he had taken to wearing. He was surprised for only a moment, then immediately jumped in and began to help her. An almost relived smile rested on his lips the entire time.

When they were finished, Barry insisted she lay down and take a nap, probably because of the very obvious dark circles under her eyes. She didn't require much persuading at that point and soon found her head resting atop a pillow. Barry draped a blanket over her and sat down, his hand running calming circles along the side of her leg.

Later that evening, when they both went to bed and told each other goodnight from across the room, Caitlin drifted off peacefully and slept better than she had the entirety of the time she'd been in the Speed Force.

After that, her nightmares were few and far between, and when she did have them Barry was never more than an arms-length away.

She later learned that he sometimes got them as well. They were rare and not nearly as bad as the ones she'd been having, but he certainly wasn't immune to them. He would roll and jerk in his sleep, sometimes making pained noises or calling out the names of friends and family members long gone.

Caitlin would always slip out of bed and pad across the room, gently waking him from whatever traumatizing experience he was reliving. Afterward, she'd lay down next to him and drape her arm over his side, her head resting on the back of his shoulder, and whisper reassuring words that he had often said to her.

They both had their fair share of restless nights, but thankfully, one of them was always close by, ready to chase the other's bad dreams away.

...

Turns out, even the Speed Force was no stranger to the four seasons.

Summer came and went and the cold chill of autumn settled over Central City. Leaves littered the sidewalks and the aroma of all things pumpkin could be smelled in the air.

It was about that time that Barry and Caitlin began to spend more of their time indoors. Caitlin harvested her garden and got everything in order as all her plants began to whither or go dormant for the year. By then, it was just too cold to stay out at the patio in the evening. Well, too cold for Barry, anyway. It didn't bother Caitlin quite as much, but that was thanks to her very DNA.

It was during the first real frost of the year that they began to make good use of the entertainment system that came with the house. Barry came home with a big stack of movies and they had their own little marathon.

A designated movie night was put into effect after that. They took turns picking what movies to watch because apparently, they both had very different preferences in genre. Barry loved musicals and sci-fi, while Caitlin preferred horror and rom-coms. 

As a result, the first time it was Caitlin's turn, she chose a particularly scary horror movie. It was a guilty pleasure of her's, she loved to pick at the logic of the characters and find all the plot-holes. Somehow, she found she enjoyed it even more with Barry because he fell for all the jump scares.

There was even one point in the movie when the demon came charging out of a wardrobe, that Barry let out a high-pitched yell. Caitlin spent the next five minutes laughing and nearly fell off the couch in the process.

Barry only huffed and crossed his arms, making up some story about how he had accidentally stubbed his toe.

"Sure you did," she leaned across the couch and patted his shoulder, an amused smile playing on her lips.

He fell for another scare not two minutes later.

It was okay though, because he got her back as soon as it was his turn to pick. He picked Grease of all movies, and Caitlin could practically feel her cheeks burning from the moment she saw the DVD. Sometimes it still amazed her how strongly the memories of that night still lingered in her mind. Those painfully embarrassing memories.

Barry enjoyed himself thoroughly and sang along flawlessly to every single tune. But his reaction to Summer Nights was by far the most drastic. He practically leaped up from the couch and burst into song.

"Join me, Caitlin," he said, dramatically outstretching his hand towards her.

Caitlin refused at first, her arms crossed and her face no doubt the same shade as the strawberries she had grown in her garden.

"But you gotta," Barry pleaded, brandishing an overly expressive pout. "It's a duet."

"And I know you know the lyrics," he added, his face morphing into a playful smirk.

Caitlin rolled her eyes and Barry took both her hands, pulling her up to her feet. Begrudgingly, she sang along, her voice sounding squeaky to her own ears. Barry began to dance around the living room and even managed to pull her into that too. She soon found herself loosening up and even laughing.

When it was all said and done (and sang) they both collapsed back onto the couch, grinning and giggles and out of breath from their impromptu performance.

Needless to say, there was plenty of entertainment to be had as the cold months stretched on and the snow began to fall.

After a while, Barry even pulled out an old gaming console from the few boxes he had yet to unpack. He set it all up in the living room and offered to teach Caitlin. She had just hummed in reply and played along as he explained to her how the controller worked.

They decided to play against each other at first, Barry clearly trying to go easy on her. She threw the first round on purpose, only to completely obliterate him in the second. Barry stared on in shock as the 'game over' pop up appeared on the screen. Caitlin held it together at first, but found she couldn't stop herself from giggling.

"You've done this before!" Barry accused, mouth agape.

By then, she was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. Finally, she collected herself long enough to speak. "There have been times in my life where I've practically lived with Cisco," she told him, "of course I know how to play video games."

Suddenly, Caitlin grew quiet, memories of her now unreachable friend flooding back. She had thought about how much she missed him before, of course she had, but full depth of it hadn't quite hit until that moment. He was her friend, her family, and in many ways the brother she never had.

Barry seemed to feel a similar sentiment, or at least pick up on her's, because he had yet to say anything either. So that was how they sat for a good two minutes, in a heavy memorial of silence.

"I really miss him," Caitlin eventually said, barely audible.

"Me too," Barry admitted, knowing exactly who she meant.

There was another pause.

"What do you think he's doing right now?" Barry smiled, a faraway look in his eyes.

"Probably trying to find a way to get us out," she reasoned. "Or napping on one of the gurneys in the med bay."

She chuckled softly to herself, images of him splayed out and drooling flickering through her mind.

Barry breathed out a laugh as well, saying he was sure that there wasn't anywhere that Cisco couldn't take a nap. One time he had even found him drunkenly asleep on top of a fridge, muttering something about the house being a nightmare.

"We'll see him again," Barry seemed surprisingly optimistic, "I know we will. And when we do we can tell him how poor of an imitation his Speed Force counterpart is."

Caitlin smiled at the thought, both a warmth and a longing spreading through her chest.

"Wanna play again?" She offered, nodding towards the screen. "Or should I say, lose again," she added, feeling uncharacteristically cheeky.

"You're so on, Dr. Snow."

...

Time seemed to pass a little quicker after that. Perhaps it was a side effect of the days getting shorter and the nights growing longer. Or maybe it was simply because they were finally getting adjusted to their new world. Regardless, before they knew it, the year was coming to a close and Christmas time was upon them.

By then, several layers of snow coated the ground, and everywhere they turned there were festivities and hot cocoa to be found.

It was a bittersweet time for the both of them. On one hand, it was their first Christmas together in their new place, but on the other, it would also be a Christmas spent away from their friends and family. Likely the first of many.

To the Speed Force's credit, it seemed to have caught on and had done a pretty good job of leaving them alone and allowing them to live their pseudo-anthropophobic lives in peace.
They received no cards, presents, or phone calls, nothing to remind them of those they so obviously didn't want to be reminded of.

During that time, neither Caitlin nor Barry really speculated much about what the others in the real world were doing for the holiday. Instead, they chose to throw themselves into planning their own dinner and decorating.

When it came to decorations, Caitlin had always been a minimalist. She would usually get a small store-bought tree and exactly one roll of twinkling lights. Something to add a festive flair, but not completely transform the space.

Barry, however, was the exact opposite. By the time it was all said and done, there was very little of the house that wasn't decked out with some form of tinsel, lights, or tiny holiday ceramics. Caitlin thought about commenting several times on how their house looked like it had been vandalized by Santa's elves, but in the end, she kept it to herself. It seemed to be making Barry happy, and that was all Caitlin truly wanted.

She even tried to pitch in and offered to pick up a boxed Christmas tree from the store. Barry had gasped in wide-eyed horror and acted as though having a fake tree was some kind of sacrilege.

"Trees are made of wood, not plastic, Cait," he chastised good-naturedly while pouring himself a glass of egg nog.

Caitlin only rolled her eyes, a slight smile on her lips. She was having a very hard time taking him seriously on account of the elf-themed hat he was wearing.

"Well, every tree that I've ever had was plastic," Caitlin countered from her spot at the kitchen bar. It was meant to be a defense but actually ended up sounding a bit sad when she said it out loud.

It wasn't that she had anything against real Christmas trees, it was simply that it wasn't something that had been done when she was growing up. Even when her dad was around, celebrations at her house had always been very small and understated. Neither of her parents had ever really had the time to spend even an afternoon decorating and they certainly had never gone and hauled home an actual tree. Then, after her dad's supposed death, festivities of any kind became almost nonexistent.

It was only because of Cisco and Ronnie that Caitlin even began decorating again, and even then it was still the same minimalistic style that had been ingrained in her from childhood.

Barry turned to look at her, her previous words sinking in. A small array of very subtle emotions flashed across his face. First surprise and perhaps a bit of sadness, then a few others that she couldn't quite place. Then he finally settled on one in particular. Determination.

Barry disappeared with a surge of lightning, only to immediately reappear in front of Caitlin, now donning a coat and gloves, and holding her own winter wear in hand.

"Where are we going?" Caitlin eyed him suspiciously as she stood, slipping into the jacket that Barry held open for her.

"We—" Barry answered, choosing to bundle her scarf around her himself, "—are going to get you your first real Christmas tree."

"I appreciate it, I do, but it's really not that big of a deal. You don't have to do it on account of me," Caitlin assured, accepting the mittens he offered her nonetheless.

"Maybe. But I want to," Barry replied with a shrug. "You deserve to have a proper, real Christmas tree. Even if it's not technically real," he added sincerely.

Caitlin only smiled at him softly, a fond warmth flowing through her.

After that, Barry placed her blue snowflake beanie on her head, and slipped his arms behind her legs, lifting her up into an all too familiar carry. She fit into his arms as neatly and securely as always, the action filing her with both excitement and ease. Yet, as much as Caitlin truly enjoyed their high-speed trips, she knew she had better bring up a very obvious error in his apparent plan.

"Barry," Caitlin's voice halted him as he prepared to speed off.

"Yeah?" He paused and turned his head, his nose lightly brushing the side of her face. She felt her stomach flutter.

"How are you going to carry both me and the Christmas tree home?" She pointed out.

Barry paused for a moment. "Right," he realized, putting her down a bit sheepishly.

His warmth disappeared along with his touch, much to Caitlin's disappointment. There was a brief lapse of awkward silence.

"So, driving?" He inquired, running a hand over the back of his neck.

"Driving," she confirmed, already reaching for the keys.

After the proclaimed Tree Incident was concluded, their days were filled with even more decorating as well as a massive shopping trip. They had planned out all the recipes and got the ingredients accordingly.

Caitlin volunteered to cook the dinner, but Barry had insisted on helping. So as a result, they decided to split the work between them. Caitlin would make the turkey, the pies, and cookies, while Barry would handle all the sides and the casseroles.

They spent the whole of Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day in the kitchen, cooking and laughing to the tune of holiday music. Barry would occasionally sing along to Jingle Bells and bob his head, flat out refusing to take off the ridiculous reindeer antlers and bells he wore. Most likely because he knew they made Caitlin laugh.

About mid-afternoon they decided to take a break and watch A Christmas Story and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. They both curled up on the couch, warm mugs of hot cocoa in hand.

After dinner, Barry inevitably nodded off, as he always did after holiday meals. Surprisingly, Caitlin began to feel drowsy herself and ended up drifting away not long after.

However, before sleep engulfed her, she managed to hang on long enough to retrieve Barry's present out of hiding and nestle it beneath the tree. They hadn't really talked about presents or what the other wanted, but there was no way Caitlin was going to not get Barry a present, especially when he had (conveniently, for her) ran out of books to read in his personal stockpile.

Actually keeping his present a secret had proved to be a tricky task, especially since he regularly turned the whole of the house upside down both searching for and hiding their Elf On A Shelf. She had managed though, and when the time came was able to retrieve it with relative ease.

When Caitlin awoke the sky outside was dark, a fresh blanket of snow gently coating the driveway and sidewalk. The living room was also dimmer than it had been when she fell asleep, the space now lit only by the soft glow of the twinkling lights and the Christmas tree.

Barry was up and sitting in one of the chairs across from the couch, a fresh mug of cocoa in one hand and a tablet in the other.

"You know, that's bad for your vision," Caitlin chided gently as she sat up, rubbing the last bit of grogginess from her eyes.

"But my eyes heal," Barry pointed out, his face lit only by the glow of the screen.

Caitlin sucked in an exasperated breath, an entire catalog of reasons why that wasn't a valid argument just on the edge of her lips.

"Ok, ok," Barry relented quickly, sensing the oncoming lecture. "You win, Dr. Snow," he added, pointedly reaching over and flipping the lamp next to him on.

"I haven't been sitting here for long anyway," he began to reassure, but Caitlin wasn't sure she bought it.

She spared a quick glance at the small space below the Christmas tree, wondering if Barry had noticed or opened his present yet. It was then that she became aware of two things. One, the rectangular box that housed Barry's present was still tucked neatly in place, and two, there was now another square box sitting right next to it, large blue snowflakes adorning the wrapping paper.

Caitlin looked back up at Barry, her eyebrows raised. He was doing his best to appear occupied with the tablet and oblivious, but the grin that he was failing to conceal behind his mug betrayed him.

"Barry..." Caitlin began.

"Yes, Dr. Snow," he finally looked up at her, an ill-concealed twinkle in his eyes

"What's that square box beneath the tree?" She inquired, tilting her head to the side.

"Beats me," Barry only shrugged, the corner of his mouth twitching a little.

"Uh, huh," Caitlin hummed, unconvinced.

"What about that rectangular one with the reindeer?" Barry asked knowingly.

"I haven't the faintest idea," she played along, trying (and failing) to seem indifferent.

There was a pause.

"You think we should open them and find out?" Barry was no longer able then contain the broad grin that engulfed his features.

"Absolutely," Caitlin replied, donning a playful smile of her own.

They both rose from their respective seats and retrieved the presents, afterwards plopping down on the couch beside each other.

"Ladies first," Barry offered, gesturing towards the box.

"Nope," Caitlin shook her head, setting her present atop her crossed legs. "Your's was under the tree first, so you should open it first."

Barry leaned towards her a little, giving a look of mock suspicion. "Wait a minute, I thought you didn't have any idea what it was?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Just open it."

Barry conceded, reaching down and beginning to tear away the wrapping paper. Caitlin watched him expectantly, hoping she had made the right call with the items she had picked. To her great relief, Barry's eyes lit up as soon as he saw what was concealed beneath the papers. She had selected him a variety of Sci-Fi and epic fantasy novels, and had even managed to get him a copy of a new series he had been talking about even before the Crisis.

Barry's grin broadened as he went through them, looking a little bit like a kid that had just been handed a whole bag of sweets.

"You like them?" Caitlin inquired hopefully.

"I love them," Barry expressed, genuine excitement radiating from him. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to read these," he informed, holding up his new paperbacks.

"I just noticed you were running out of reading material."

"Thank you, Caitlin. Really," he added, leveling a sincere gaze with hers.

Barry gently set his books down on the coffee table before scooting back onto the couch, angling himself towards her. "Your turn," he declared excitedly.

It was at about that point Caitlin began to take note of the size and structure of her present. Rather than enclosed in wrapping paper, it was simply a patterned box held shut by a blue glittery ribbon. It was also rather large, which filled Caitlin with varying contradictory emotions. On one hand, she was absolutely flattered, but on the other, she genuinely hoped that Barry hadn't gone to too much trouble on her account.

Slowly, delicately, she began to untie the ribbon, the silky material sliding through her fingers. She let the ribbon fall beside her and lifted the lid, beaming when she saw what was hidden beneath it. Inside was a decorative wicker basket with an array of her favorite soaps, bath bombs, facials, as well as various spa products nestled within.

"Ta-da," Barry sang softly as she began to look through it, "your spa day in a box."

She looked back up at him, smiling warmly at the amount of care and thought he had obviously put into her present. "Thank you, Barry, this is very sweet. I love it."

"I figured you could use some relaxation time," he shrugged a little awkwardly, running a hand over the back of his neck. "You deserve it for having to constantly be stuck with me."

"I appreciate it. But you know I don't think of it that way," she reminded.

"Still."

A beat of silence followed, Barry's gaze slowly sliding to the floor. She watched him for a moment, the full implications of what he had said occurring to her.

"Barry," she began, pulling him back from the edge of the abysmal faraway  look in his eyes, "I don't regret coming here with you, you know that right?"

His eyes snapped back to her, a strangely vulnerable air about him. Yet, at the same time, it was all too familiar; the last time she had seen him that way was just before he had broken down in her med bay.

"Not even a little?" He asked, his voice raw and barely audible.

"Not even a little," she affirmed, reaching across the couch to gently take his hand in hers. He loosened the fist he had balled his knuckles into at his side, allowing her fingers to slide through his.

"And I'm not stuck with you, I chose to be here, remember?" She assured, quietly and genuinely. "It was my decision to come here and I haven't once regretted it. And if I got to do it all over again, I would make the same decision every time."

Barry swallowed thickly and nodded, a wordless understanding in his eyes. It was then that Caitlin took the opportunity to pull him into a hug. Barry wrapped his arms tightly around her and tucked his head into the crook of her neck.

"Merry Christmas, Cait," he whispered softly into her hair.

"Merry Christmas, Barry," she echoed, a warm smiling spreading across her lips

...

For Caitlin Snow, the cool and crisp day of February the 4th began like any other. She awoke to the sound of her alarm clock and quickly reached over to her nightstand to silence it. Afterward, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stretched her stiff muscles, feeling groggy, yet still well-rested.

Beams of golden morning light had begun to peek through the window curtains, casting its shards along the carpeted floor. Caitlin stood and slipped on her fuzzy blue slippers, then started the task of making her bed. Across the room, Barry had begun to grumble and groan, his voice still heavy with sleep.

"You know you don't actually have to get up at the crack of dawn, right?" He slurred, words further muffled by the pillow he had wrapped around his head. "You could show up to work at noon and they'd probably just tell you to be happy."

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I like getting up in the morning?" She inquired, shaking her head at the noise of horror and disgust that statement elicited.

"That can't be healthy, Cait," Barry mumbled as she pulled her comforter tidily over the sleep-tussled sheets. "Mornings are for sleeping," he added.

"Mornings are for breakfast," she countered, putting the finishing touches on her bed.

"Breakfast?" He perked up at that, his messy hair and sleepy eyes finally emerging from the fortress of pillows and blankets.

Caitlin cracked a slight smile, having known the promise of food would be enough to flush him out.

"Come on, it's my turn to cook today," she reminded, tossing him his own pair of flash red slippers.

Breakfast consisted of omelets, toast, and a side of orange juice. They ate at the kitchen bar, the room alit with pale filtered sunshine, and talked about their plans for the week.

There was a time when perhaps they might have read the paper, or even watched the local news, but they had long since gotten out of that habit, seeing as it was basically pointless here. In the Speed Force, there were no crises, nor violent crimes, or natural disasters, or any real news of interest. There was only a thinly veiled facade. There was no need for the Flash, or any superheroes for that matter.

Though, sometimes Barry still liked to go on patrol, just to remember what it was like to be the Flash. To remember the feeling of the wind rushing past his face, knowing that he had the power to make a difference in the world. Here he had no such power, not really, neither of them did.

After they finished eating, they took turns in the bathroom getting ready for work. Within 30 minutes Caitlin was showered, dressed, and ready to head out the door. Barry too emerged from upstairs just as she finished slipping on a pair of flats, his satchel, and jacket in hand. She was eying her car keys in contemplation when Barry spoke up, tugging her attention back to him.

"Hey, if you want I can speed you to work today," he offered, sliding his jacket over his shoulders. "I found a new route to the university yesterday that goes right by your clinic."

"As tempting as that is, I was actually thinking about walking," she informed, her tone light. "The weather seems nice, and it would be good to get some fresh air."

Barry made a face at that, then shrugged bashfully as soon as he realized she saw it.

"You do know what walking is, right?" She teased, crossing her arms and moving closer.

Barry opened his mouth to stammer a reply.

"Not running," she clarified, "walking."

He let out a tiny scoff. "I walk all the time," he replied, his eyes looking at anywhere but her.

She only hummed skeptically and nodded in reply.

"I do!" He defended, the pitch of his voice higher than normal. "In fact, I'm gonna walk to work with you right now," he declared, crossing his own arms and sticking his nose up in defiance.

He looked kind of like a disgruntled child.

Caitlin breathed out a quiet chuckle and shook her head. "Barry, I'm just kidding." She let the playful act drop, feeling a little bad for making him squirm. "You can go to work at whatever speed you want," she assured patting his arm lightly.

He looked at her for a moment, an unreadable look in eyes.

"Nope," he shook his head after a beat, moving across the room and opening the door for her, "You're stuck with me now," he added, his tone as teasing as hers had previously been.

"My favorite place to be," the words fell from her lips before she could stop them.

Caitlin suddenly had the urge to cover mouth, or maybe her entire face. Lately, she had been finding that happening more often then she'd like; things that she would normally keep to herself just slipping out. It was a double-edged sword, because, while it was nice to feel so at ease and comfortable around him again, it was also veering into dangerous territory. Territory that was better left alone, locked away deep within the depths of her heart and soul. She couldn't go there, not fully. Not now, nor ever.

Whether Barry reacted or simply turned as red as she suspected her checks had, she couldn't tell. She was too busy averting her gaze, grabbing her purse, and scurrying out the door at a speed any Flash would be jealous of.

Despite the awkward start, the walk was actually a very pleasant one. They took the new route Barry had discovered, and turns out, it was actually quite scenic. The morning air was brisk but not too cold, a light breeze occasionally sweeping over them. It was also overcast, but not in a dreary way, the sun periodically peeking out to provide its warmth.

After about fifteen minutes, both Barry and Caitlin had once again settled into their usual, relaxed demeanor. The previous tension had melted away, or, at the very least, settled into the distant backdrop where it belonged. Instead, they walked side by side with an effortless ease, Caitlin's arm looped around Barry's.

They would talk and chat, then lapsed into a comfortable silence, enjoying the company and their surroundings.

It was at about the halfway point to the clinic when one specific thing that Caitlin had been trying hard to ignore became unavoidable. It had been looming on the horizon for a good five minutes, tall and towering and filled with memories.

It was when they passed the closest to it that Caitlin caught her attention drifting to the large circular building. Her eyes roaming over all the details she could never forget, and her mind replaying all the memories she didn't want to. Had she known this new route would take them so close to S.T.A.R. Labs, she would have suggested another one.

Caitlin hadn't been this close to the lab in a good half a year, and she hadn't expected the rush of nostalgia it brought. Not only for the people that had resided there but also for the atmosphere. Yes, Caitlin was a doctor, and the clinic was more than adequate, but she was also a scientist at heart. A scientist that missed the facilities, and the equipment, and all the tests and experiments to be run.

She loved to look at the world around her, and figure out what made it tick. It was simply in her nature, it was in the nature of anyone who had ever been asked to work at that lab.

"You too?" Barry's voice cut through the contemplative trance she was in.

"What?" She answered vacantly, his question catching her off guard.

"You miss it too," he clarified, nodding his head towards the building. "I mean I run by it sometimes, but until yesterday it didn't really hit me. You know?" He glanced at her and then the building, squinted his eyes as the sun came out, the rays getting caught in his hair.

"I do," she agreed, her voice a soft inflection. "Truthfully, I don't think I could go in there now, I don't want to see that version of Cisco or Ralph. That's not how I want to remember them. But I do miss it, the lab. I miss having a lab to go to."

Barry echoed the sentiment with a nod and matched her pace as they walked, arms still intertwined. Neither of them said a word after that, mostly because they didn't need to. If there was anybody who understood just how Caitlin felt, it was Barry. And if there was anybody who understood just how Barry felt, it was Caitlin.

When they arrived at the clinic Caitlin finally released his arm, only for him to close the distance and wrap her in a brief, but reaffirming hug. She waved him goodbye, and he promised to call her after lunch.

The rest of the day passed pretty mundanely, (not that the Speed Force ever gave Caitlin anything too serious to work with anyway) which, unfortunately, gave her plenty of time to contemplate what had once been her life.

Now, that wasn't to say that she had any regrets, as she had told Barry time and time again that she didn't. But there were still certain aspects of their old world that she missed, they both did, and likely always would. In this certain instance, she found herself missing not only the place she had worked for over seven years but also the luxury of simply having a lab to work in.

However, she knew this was all just a bout of nostalgia; it was like hearing an old song that you used to listen to when you were younger and hadn't heard in years. With its melody, it would bring a rush of memories and feelings, but, like everything, Caitlin knew these feelings would eventually pass. They had made the conscious decision to distance themselves from all that, and it was a decision Caitlin had appreciated every day since.

Before the day was over, she resolved not to mention S.T.A.R. Labs again, and honestly wouldn't have, had it not been for Barry. The subject had ended up rearising later that evening over dinner. The pair had been sitting in the living room with their respective share of homemade tacos, and watching an old movie that Cisco used to love.

They hadn't really talked much, engrossed not only in the meal but also in the movie (in spite of the cheesy special effects). It wasn't until after Barry finished off the last of his guacamole that he spoke up, catching Caitlin by surprise.

"We don't really use the garage, do we?" His words were equal parts musing and inquiry.

Caitlin wasn't exactly sure what he was getting at, but she decided to take the bait anyway.

"Not really. I prefer to park in the driveway," she informed, biting her lip with slight hesitancy. "It's quicker."

Barry shook his head in reply, stuffing a chip in his mouth. The tiny creased wrinkles on his forehead told her he was thinking, working through an idea or problem in his mind. He used to get the same look when a difficult case would land on his desk, or when he was trying to figure out the identity of a new meta. She could practically see the gears turning inside his head.

Caitlin was preparing to inquire why he had asked when Barry again started to speak, absently this time. "It's a big garage," he supplied in a seemingly directionless way.

If Caitlin's interest hadn't already been piqued, that certainly had done it, if only because this wasn't something that Barry had ever really talked about or shown interest in before. They usually just used the garage for extra storage.

"Barry," she said, her naturally mellifluous voice recapturing his attention. "What are you thinking about?" She stated plainly, knowing it was the best way to get him to explain exactly what he had already begun to plan.

He looked back at her, his forehead still creased and his head tilted slightly.

"What if we converted the garage to a lab?" He proposed, the ghost of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

Caitlin was pretty sure she felt her heart leap a bit in her chest, sparks of unusually giddy excitement flying within her.

"You're serious?" She all but blurted, a hopeful pitch in her tone.

"Yeah. I mean, there's plenty of room and we hardly ever use it anyway," he reasoned, shrugging as he did. "It wouldn't be S.T.A.R. Labs, but it would be something. What do you say?"

A bright smile spread across her lips, vibrant white peeking out from beneath soft pink. "I would love that."

"Me too," he admitted, an air of excitement beginning to show through in his demeanor.

"I'm just not sure where we'd get the equipment," he had once again turned contemplative. "Not without having to talk to 'Cisco'."

"We could probably get most of it from one of the spare storage rooms at the lab. There's tons of unused equipment in there, and we likely wouldn't run into anybody in that part of the building anyway," she informed as she pivoted forward and set her plate down on the coffee table.

"There is?" He seemed both pleasantly surprised and profoundly shocked.

"Wait a minute, you're telling me that that Bartholomew Henry Allen, the owner of the S.T.A.R. Laboratories didn't know we had stored equipment?" She gasped in false admonishment.

"It's a big building," he mumbled under his breath.

Caitlin just smiled and leaned over to steal a tortilla chip off his plate.

For the next week and a half, both Barry and Caitlin spent most of their spare time cleaning out the garage and steadily shuttling equipment from the lab to the house. They started with small stuff, microscopes and chemicals, and anything else that wouldn't require any heavy lifting, and slowly worked their way up to the bigger stuff.

They worked out a configuration for the space on day one, and set to work establishing specialized areas for the both of them. Barry's section consisted of long metal shelving units of chemicals and a forensic station, various whiteboards decorating the walls. Caitlin's was a med bay (complete with a gurney and a defibrillator) as well a small desk with a computer nestled alongside it.

The other two corners of the large square room was devoted to general equipment and a small speed lab. They even managed to get Barry's treadmill with it.

Needless to say, it was a very welcomed and well-used addition to the house. It was just another thing that made it feel like home, a home that they could happily live in for any amount of the foreseeable future.

But of course, no matter how content they could feel in one moment, the Speed Force had a bad habit of shattering their frail sense of reality in the next. It wasn't intentional, Caitlin knew this. She wasn't exactly sure how far the sentience of the Speed Force went, but she could understand that on some level it was alive. It had changed its attitude towards Barry many times based upon his actions. For now, it seemed to be somewhat complacent towards Barry and by extension, herself. It was trying; it had constructed this whole reality for them, a world in which they could live their lives and pass the time when the option of doing so in their home world was no longer available. However, in the end, it still wasn't real, and the ways in which this basic fact would assert it's validity could often be jarring.

Perhaps the most jarring way had occurred early one evening while Caitlin was knee-deep in testing samples. She had gotten home just a bit before Barry and decided to break down a few of her specimens in a batch of concentrated hydrochloric acid.

She was clad in a lab coat, gloves, and clear safety glasses, humming softly as she moved about the lab, entirely at ease and in her element. It was something she had done a million times, and each time it had gone off without a hitch. Until that day, that is.

Caitlin had been in the process of carrying a tray of samples from one side of the lab to the other when it happened. Just as she moved by the door that connected the house to the garage, it was flung open and an oblivious Barry came walking through. His body collided hers before she could react and the tray she'd been carrying hit the floor an instant later, the contents scattered in all directions. But the most alarming thing of all was the wide splatter of colorless liquid as the beaker of acid smacked against the concrete.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," apologies spilled from Barry's lips, his eyes still wide with shock. "I am so sorry!"

He quickly began to stoop down and attempt to help her pick up her samples, but Caitlin's mind had long moved past that. Instead, her brain was now shifting into overdrive as she caught sight of the large splashed droplets burning holes through Barry's jeans and shirt.

"Barry, Barry!" She stopped him, her hand darting out to touch his shoulder. She did her best to sound urgent, but also maintain a mask of calm. "That was hydrochloric acid, you need to get it cleaned off of you. Right now."

She watched her words sink in and realization dawn across his features as he glanced down at himself. In a flash he was gone, the gust blowing Caitlin's hair back. She then stepped over the fallen contents of the tray and followed after him as quick as any non-speedster could, briefly inspecting herself for any acid droplets.

The next twenty minutes were comprised mostly of Caitlin standing outside the bathroom as Barry showered, giving him instructions through the door.

"You know I used to work with chemicals every day, right?" His voice was muffled by both the closed entrance and the running water, but somehow she could still hear the slight smile in his words.

"I know, but I'm still your doctor," she replied, her arms crossed as she leaned against the frame.

Besides that, she couldn't in good conscience simply leave him to it, not when it was pretty much her fault anyway. Now because of her slow reaction time, he would likely be dealing with painful burns for the next several hours.

"I'm really sorry, Barry," she spoke up after a beat, the statement carrying an undertone of the guilt she felt.

"It wasn't your fault," his echo of a voice immediately began to assure. "I should have been watching where I was going."

"Yes, but if I had been faster..."

"You're not the Flash, Cait," he called through the door. "I am, and even I didn't see it coming."

He was right, she knew he was, but she also knew that while his words helped she would only truly feel better once she took a look at the damage herself.

Once Barry was finished, Caitlin immediately ushered him back down to the med bay and began to inspect the areas where the acid had made contact. To her great surprise, there were no visible burns (yet).

"And you're sure you aren't feeling any pain whatsoever," she questioned for the third time, prodding gently at a patch of exposed skin on his abdomen.

"I don't feel anything out of the ordinary." He shrugged from where he sat on the edge of the gurney. "I didn't even realize it had splattered on me."

Caitlin furrowed her brow incredulously as she stepped back, peeling off her rubber medical gloves.

"Your healing factor should be kicking in already, but we'll need to keep a close eye on it for the rest of the evening," she concluded firmly.

Barry nodded as he let the hem of his tee-shirt drop. "Why don't you go get cleaned up, just in case you got any on you," he suggested, hopping off the makeshift examination table.

Caitlin shook her head, absently biting her lip. "I need to neutralize that and get it cleaned up," she nodded towards the small puddles of clear, volatile liquid still pooled on the floor.

"I'll do it," he offered easily.

Caitlin shook her head and was about to object, but Barry cut her off, taking a step closer.

"I know my chemicals, remember? Basically a chemist," he made sure to keep his tone light, likely in an attempt to soothe her frayed nerves.

"I know but—"

"But, everything is alright," he reassured, making a point of catching her gaze. "I'm alright," he moved a little closer, running his hands gently down the sides of her rigidly crossed arms.

"Alright?" He said with a bit more humor in his eyes.

Caitlin laughed softly at the deliberate repetitiveness, shaking her head and looking down, her hair falling in front of her eyes. She felt her posture begin to relax, her tightly woven arms loosening a bit

"Everything is fine," he repeated with more sincerity. "I promise."

She nodded slowly and looked back up at him, only then realizing just how close they were standing. She also became acutely aware of the gentle, ground hold he had on her arm, her skin feeling like fire beneath his touch.

"You'll tell me immediately if you start to feel any pain or discomfort?" She asked, a small part of her protesting as she moved back to put some distance between them, his arm dropping from where it had been resting.

"Cross my heart," he promised.

As the evening progressed, Barry still showed no signs of burning or skin damage, and Caitlin was simultaneously relieved and perplexed. Eventually, they agreed they were both hungry and made their way to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. They made it together that night, whoever's turn it was to cook long forgotten.

The sound of sizzling and soft music filled the air as the pair expertly moved around each other, navigating the kitchen as they had countless times. Caitlin moved back over to the burner and flipped the hamburgers, while Barry stood a few feet away, chopping up vegetables on a cutting board.

As the aroma of spices and beef slowly wafted through the warm kitchen, Caitlin caught her thoughts drifting to the events of the previous hour. Her mind searching for the answers to questions it had raised within her.

"What's wrong?" Barry pulled her back to reality, a knowing inflection carried within his words.

"Nothing. Why?" Caitlin shook her head, her eyes snapping to him.

"Your lip," he spoke without looking up from his task.

She immediately stopped her nervous tick, clearing her throat awkwardly.

Barry breathed out a soft chuckle. "What is it?"

Caitlin once again flipped the patties, the source of her puzzlement coming to the forefront of her mind. "It's just—that acid was highly concentrated. I'm thankful it didn't hurt you, but even with your cell regeneration rate, it should have."

Barry stopped cutting at that and turned around, his back leaning against the granite counter. "You're right," he agreed, grimacing.

It was then that another realization entered Caitlin's head. "Come to think of it, when was the last time you even got hurt?"

He had to stop and consider it. "Not since we got here. Which, admittedly, has got to be some kind of record for me."

She loved him to pieces, but he was right. From what Joe had told her, he had been a bit of a klutz even before his powers; always getting bruises or scrapped knees. After his powers was a whole new level entirely, one that Caitlin had been dealing with first hand for the better part of six years.

"Huh," Barry gave a low hum, his brow creased. "That is kind of odd."

Caitlin nodded along and turned back to her burner, still deep in thought.

Barry started to turn back around too, but then he stopped, his eyes drifting to the knife in his hand. "Cait, I have a bad idea," he admitted, her ears immediately perking up.

"What is it?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

He seemed to think about it for a moment more, then he gave an apologetic grimace before taking the knife and jabbing it firmly into the palm of his hand.

"Barry!" Caitlin practically screeched.

He then let off the pressure and turned his hand towards her, the only visible mark being a light indentation.

"This thing is razor-sharp," he informed, nodding towards his pile of chopped vegetables.

Caitlin's previous horror steadily faded and was replaced with that of confusion. "That's...not normal."

"What is we, or at least I, can't get hurt here?" He hypothesized.

"I mean—" she began, looking just as bewildered as he felt — "it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility, but we can't just make assumptions like that. Any number of factors could be at play. Maybe you have calloused hands?"

She knew that wasn't the case the moment she said it, she had held his hand enough times to know better. He had surprisingly soft hands...but that was beside the point.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you any warning before, but I want to try someone else," he spoke slowly and carefully. "Will you be okay?"

She looked at him for a long moment, her features no doubt betraying her. She could never condone him putting himself in harm's way, particularly when it wasn't absolutely necessary. But it was clear from the look in his eyes that he wasn't going to be able to let this go until he knew the answer for sure. She managed a slow nod, already mentally cataloging where the nearest first aid kit was.

Barry gave her what was meant to be a reassuring look, then put his right foot forward and held the knife above it. Caitlin felt her stomach drop and brought her hands up to cover her eyes so quickly she nearly smacked herself. Which, in retrospect, was actually kind of pointless, since she was still peeking through the cracks of her fingers.

Barry held the knife above his foot for a second longer, before releasing it. She squeezed her eyes shut on instinct, expecting to hear a clatter or a cry of pain. It never came, instead, all that could be heard was Barry's astonished voice. She opened her eyes at that, mouth gaping at the sight before her. The knife had stopped midway through its fall and was hovering, suspended above Barry's foot.

"That's—that's impossible," Caitlin blurted, moving to get a closer look.

She inspected the floating blade from all angles and even ran her hand over the top and underneath it. After they both had thoroughly examined it, Barry moved his foot out of the way and the knife clattered to the floor.

"This is huge," he exclaimed with wide-eyed astonishment. "We have to see how far this goes."

He was right, it was a big discovery and it did need to be tested, but Caitlin still wasn't sure how comfortable she was with that. Maybe it was her feelings towards him getting the better of her, or maybe it was simply the fact that she had dedicated so much time over the years to making sure he didn't get injured, that helping him attempt to do so went against everything that she was.

Regardless, she still ended up right beside him the next day, standing at the edge of the freeway as the morning traffic blurred by.

"This is a bad idea," Caitlin had to yell over the onslaught of speeding cars.

She didn't want him to do what he was about to do, not with taking any precautions. She had told him so, but he wasn't listening.

"It'll be fine," Barry assured. "You saw what happened with the knife, I have a feeling this won't be any different. If this works, it will just be more evidence to support our theory. This would mean that the Speed Force is basically child-proofed."

For some reason, his words made Caitlin's blood boil in a way that she hadn't felt since his early days of becoming the Flash. Maybe it was his confidence, or carelessness, or utter lack of regard for his own safety. Maybe it was because if he was wrong and he could get hurt, he could also die and leave her there all alone. (That was a selfish reason, but in some ways, his behavior was a little bit selfish too.)

Suddenly, she felt like that young, damaged woman again, the one that would lose it a little every time Barry neglected his own life. And suddenly he reminded her of that young heedless speedster, the one that came crashing into her life and made her want to simultaneously hug him and throttle him.

It made her want to yell and wave her arms in the air, she wanted to grab his shoulders and shake some sense into him. She didn't do any of those things though, instead, she decided maybe the best way to make her point would be to turn the tables.

"Alright then. If you're sure, then I'll do it," she stated, stepping up to the edge of the road without warning.

"What?" She watched his face fall and go pale.

"I'll do it," Caitlin repeated, a false lightness to her tone. "Like you said, it's no big deal."

"No, no, no," he began to protest, gloved hands reaching towards her. "We don't even know if it will work with you."

"Then we'll find out," she inched closer to the pavement. "And if it works, this will just be more evidence to support our theory."

Barry was starting to freak out now,  his hands frantically gesturing for her to step away. "Cait, please just come back, this is a bad idea."

"This is your idea," she countered, shooting him a sharp look.

Barry was taken back at first by the sudden harshness in her voice. "Oh—" he realized, "—oh, you're mad at me, aren't you?"

"A little, yes!" She hissed, turned back around, arms crossed.

"Okay, look, I'm sorry, I know you aren't comfortable with this and shouldn't have kept pushing the issue and ignoring that." He acknowledged, a regretful look on his features.

She let out a quiet, yet heavy sigh, her breath still visible in the cool morning air. She glanced down, and absently shifted her foot in the gravely pebbles. "It's not just that, Barry. Have you even considered what might happen if you're wrong? What if you do get hurt? What if you get killed?"

"Barry, I don't know what I'd—" her voice cracked and she stopped, taking a breath and attempting in vain to swallow down the emotions. "I don't know how I would—" Caitlin let her words trail off into oblivion, opting instead to close her eyes and count to three, willing the tears away.

When she reopened them, Barry was looking at her in a way that reminded her of a kicked puppy, or maybe it was how somebody else would look at a kicked puppy. Either way, she could tell she had gotten through; he understood now.

But just how much did he understand? She hoped she wasn't that transparent, she hoped she hadn't given too much of herself away. Neither of them needed to go anywhere near that can of worms. They were both faithful people. He was faithful to his wife, and she was faithful to her morals.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke, his words low and sincere. "You're right, and I'm sorry. I would never do that to you. I will never do that to you. I won't leave you here alone, no matter what. I promise you, Caitlin," he vowed, his eyes getting as misty as hers had moments before.

Caitlin nodded quickly and genuinely, not trusting her voice.

"Now please come back," he pleaded, reaching his hand out once more. "We can forget all about this."

Caitlin briefly regarded him before drawing in a deep breath, allowing her emotions a second to regulate. She then shook her head. "No, you're right. This is a phenomenon, and it needs to be studied and tested. We are still scientists, after all."

"Yes, but we need a failsafe," he argued.

"Barry, you're a walking, or should I say running, failsafe. Even at your slowest, you could still move faster than any car," she pointed out with an amused smile.

"Right," he nearly facepalmed. "Just tell me when you're ready and I'll go into flashtime, if any of the cars come to close I'll get you out of there."

"In a New York minute?" She teased lightly.

"In a New York second," he gave a playful wink.

Caitlin was unable to resist the soft smile that overtook her face. After that, she turned her attention back to the freeway, the never-ending flow of cars creating small breezes as they passed. She braced herself, then counted down aloud from three.

The moment she set foot on the asphalt, the cars began to swerve and course correct, but not in a chaotic way. Instead, they all moved in perfect unison, carving a neat path around her as she made her way to the center of the road. Slowly, she turned back to face Barry, a triumphant and mystified look in her eyes. He was beaming.

Then, steadily he began to move towards her, making his way through the flow of cars as unharmed as she had. When he got there he took her hand in his, his touch solid and reaffirming. They stayed there for several minutes, watching as the flow of traffic moved flawlessly around them.

It went on like that for weeks. They set up countless failsafes and tested countless different scenarios. Each time they came up with the same results; the Speed Force simply would not allow them to get hurt. Sometimes it's methods would be as blatant as bending the laws of physics around them, or as elaborate as making a truck full of pillows and cotton candy drive below them just as they leapt off the edge of a building. Either way, any accidents or deliberate attempts would be thwarted every time.

As they continued to push the limits of their current dimension, they inevitably found themselves looking for a way out. No matter what they thought they knew about the future, or how resigned they were to it, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Inaction had never been a strong suit for either of them.

At first, Caitlin wasn't really sure how the Speed Force would react to their poking and prodding, or to their searching. She soon found that it didn't seem to mind, maybe because it already knew the answer to their futile quest.

In the months that followed, they tried everything and looked everywhere for some kind of dimensional gap, gateway, or backdoor. They tried every piece of breaching tech and Barry ran around the world more times than Caitlin could count. They even tried going as high into the atmosphere as they possibly could, but it yielded nothing.

In the end, after their latest failed attempt, the pair found themselves sitting on the edge of one of the towering skyscrapers of Central City. It was getting late by then, the sky morphing into hues of pink and red.

Barry scrubbed his hand across his face in frustration. He sighed and laid back on the cool concrete of the roof, resting his arm lazily on his forehead. Caitlin followed him down and stretched out beside him, staring up at the partially cloudy sky. That was how they stayed for a long while, quiet and still. She listened to the distant hum of traffic below and watched the trails of airplanes slice across the sky above.

"Barry?" She eventually said, low and soft.

"Yeah," he replied, a tired heaviness in his voice.

"I'm not saying we have to stop looking—" she paused, angling herself onto her side to look at him —"but what if the reason you never made it out in the original timeline...is because there is no way out from the inside?"

Barry took a moment to process this, exhaling a sharp breath.

"Then what?" He whispered, sounding almost defeated. Slowly, he rolled over on his side too, his body mirroring her own. "What are we supposed to do now?" He was mere inches from her, melancholy green eyes pleading for an answer.

She thought about it for a beat, really thought about it, a million possibilities flickering through her mind in a moment's time.

"We live," she whispered back, knowing in her heart it was the best answer.

He thought about it too for a while, a faint smile ghosting across his lips. They could do that. Right?

They would live; and live they did.

...

The room was alit with soft light, and the house was warm from the fading heat of the day. Barry sat across from her on the carpeted floor, focusing intently on the chessboard before him. His hands were clasped on top of each other, resting gently against his lips.

"Allez-vous jamais déménager, mon écarlate?" Caitlin teased, reaching across the space to reclaim her box of Chinese takeout.

"Really, you're trying to distract me by turning this into French lesson?" He raised a playful eyebrow. "C'est de la triche," Barry added.

Caitlin grinned and gave an impressed nod, momentarily putting down her box to lightly clap for him.

Barry looked at the board for a moment longer, before finally deciding on a move.

"Check," he said with a smirk.

Caitlin reached forward and slid a piece smoothly into place.

"Mate," she replied triumphantly.

"You didn't," he gasped, eyes wide.

Caitlin just threw her head back and laughed. He then grabbed one of the nearby pillows and attempted to whack her with it, which she managed to dodge despite the fact her stomach was aching from laughter.

"Tiebreaker?" Barry inquired once the mirth died down.

Caitlin nodded in reply, snatching their last fortune cookie from the bag. She cracked it open (not bothering to look at the actual fortune because it always said 'whatever makes you happy') and handed half to Barry. He popped the whole piece in his mouth and then got to work resetting all the game pieces.

As he did, something about him caught Caitlin's eyes. She wasn't really sure why it had attracted her attention in that moment, or why it had taken her so long to notice. She suddenly began to study his features intently, cataloging every line and crease, her head absently cocked to the side.

After he was finished, he looked back up at her, only to catch her staring. She didn't stop or shy away even then, instead, she looked at a little harder and leaned a little closer, her gaze fixed in concentration.

"What?" Barry asked awkwardly, a blush creeping onto his features.

"It's just—" she began quietly and with a note of fascination "—I don't think you've aged since we got here."

"Do you do that often, just ogle at me while I'm not looking?" He questioned, giving her a faux scandalized look.

"I'm serious!" Her voice was a good decibel too high as she grabbed the same pillow he had used on her moments before and took a swipe at him. "It's been five years and you look the same as the day we arrived!"

Barry let out a low chuckle at her repeated attempts to wack him. "Maybe," he conceded.

"What about me, how do I look?" She inquired, leaning her face forward to allow him a better look.

Barry seemed to freeze for a second, an unreadable expression flickering over his features and eyes.

"Caitlin, you always look beautiful," he spoke with an intense amount of sincerity.

She felt her cheeks warm. "Thank you, but I meant, have I aged any?"

"Oh," the true meaning of her question finally registered. "No, no I don't think you have either."

Caitlin wasn't sure whether she should laugh or be embarrassed. She decided to laugh, because they were long past embarrassment. They had transitioned into an area of murky gray in their relationship. There was a presence, a possibility of something more, but neither of them ever dared acknowledge it.

She loved him, and she suspected he knew it. She liked to think he loved her too, but she also knew it was either circumstantial or misinterpreted on her part. He loved her as a dear friend, as he always had, and he loved her the more because she was the only one there to love. Yet, a part of her couldn't help but wonder; if there was someone else, would he love her less?

She knew for sure that he would if they were ever to find their way home, she knew that this frail thing between them would break apart and blow away in the breeze, like a dying leaf in the autumn. She knew that what he felt towards her was a temporary thing, a ghost of what she felt for him. But she didn't dwell on that, she couldn't bring herself to. Instead, she just smiled and played another game of chess with him.

That's how they spent the rest of the evening and planned to spend the rest of the next day; simply relaxing and enjoying each other's company. It had been a long couple of weeks, and they both decided a little R&R was in order.

The next morning they ended up awaking early, but chose to stay in bed for a while and read some of Caitlin's new books that Barry had gotten her. He had sat down next to her and curled up beneath the covers, listening intently as she read.

When they did finally make it downstairs, it was Barry who offered to cook breakfast. Caitlin sat at the counter, unable to stop herself from giggling when he began to dance around the kitchen, using the spatula as a microphone.

That was when it hit her; in the five years they had been there, she had been happy, well and truly happy. Happier than she had been even before the Particle Accelerator. An instant more and she realized that even if this was all that they would ever have together, she could be content with that, and she could gladly spend a lifetime that way. She could gladly spend a lifetime with him, smiling and laughing and living their lives in the little world that had carved out for themselves.

She beamed at him as she watched his theatrical display, a warmth spreading through her chest. He was smiling as well and goofing off and just being himself. She couldn't help but think that he looked happy too.

Then, just as Barry was about to go into his big finish, a huge swirling breach appeared mere feet away. He jumped back at the suddenness, both of their faces instantly failing and music that had been playing fading into the background.

Then they heard a voice yelling their names, calling to them desperately. It sounded like Cisco. Barry set the spatula down and moved closer, Caitlin not far behind. As they drew nearer the faint outline of a person could be seen through the haze.

"Barry! Caitlin! Are you there? I can't hold this open for much longer!" The voice continued to yell.

"Cisco," Caitlin breathed out in disbelief.

At first, she felt an overwhelming joy at seeing her friend again, but then the reality of the situation came crashing down upon her. If he was here, then that meant it was time to go back, time to return to their world and leave this little home they had made behind. Back to the world where Barry was not hers, but Iris's, to the world where he had a family and future, and she was not apart of it, not in the way she wanted to be.

In the next few seconds, they both just looked at each other, shocked and astonished. Then for one moment, one terribly selfish moment, she didn't want to go back. She wasn't ready to lose him yet, and she thought for a fleeting wisp of an instant that he didn't want to either. None of that mattered though. Because even if they weren't ready, even if she wasn't ready, she knew that they had to go. They owed it to their friends, to their family, and to the world they had left behind.

So Barry Allen and Caitlin Snow held each other's gaze for as long as they could, the cooking breakfast that still sizzled on the stovetop now long forgotten. He held out his hand to her and she took it, preparing to leave this world just the way they had entered it; hands interlocked, and with no idea of what might await them on the other side.

With one last reluctant look around, they leapt forward, disappearing into a swirling oblivion.