,,,I started writing this like literally six months ago and then just. kept getting stuck. RIP my sanity.
But here we go! some soft angsty Klance because I love them!!
I have NEVER written any Voltron stuff,, what is wrong with me
This is set before the last episode of s3, by the way. So everything else of s3 has happened except the final explanation episode of 'yo this is why everything's so fucked rn'
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Lance was missing again.
He'd been doing this a lot in the few weeks that Shiro had been back, vanishing off to some unknown part of the Castle for reasons only he understood.
It was very unlike him. He always seemed happiest and most lively when he was around other people, and didn't act like he particularly enjoyed being alone.
So then, what was going on that made him want to spend hours on his own?
As he wandered the neverending halls of the castle, Keith told himself he was concerned only with the possibility that whatever was up with Lance could end up affecting the whole team. It wasn't about how much more himself Lance looked when he smiled, and it wasn't about the heavy, twisting feeling Keith's heart had experienced when Lance had opened up to him about his place in the team.
No. It was about the good of Voltron, and that was it.
Keith had already searched everywhere he could think of. None of the others seemed to have a clue where Lance went, either. Allura didn't know. Coran didn't know. Pidge had been busy when Keith asked, and may just not have cared when she said she didn't know. Shiro didn't know...though that may not have been because of Lance's hiding skills. And when Keith had been desperate enough to even ask the mice, all he'd gotten were a barrage of squeaks in an unsettlingly suggestive tone.
Luckily, Hunk had at least been able to point him in a possible right direction.
"I'm not 100% sure...but he might be down in one of the hangars." The Yellow Paladin had suggested. Keith had frowned.
"I already looked in the Red Lion's hangar."
Hunk had glanced around, as though making sure he wasn't overheard. "Well, then he might be in the Blue Lion's. He took it pretty hard when he had to give up Blue to Allura, though he did a good job of hiding it. Try there."
So now Keith was on his way to the Blue Lion's hangar. He didn't know why, exactly, Lance would be in there, but he trusted Hunk when he said it was worth a shot.
The Castle was far too large, and far too quiet. Sure, the Paladins seemed to manage to make a lot of noise from whatever section of it they were in, but on the whole, the spacecraft could be eerily noiseless. Keith sometimes felt like he was in some kind of strange, uncanny maze, his shoes the only nearby sound as they tapped loudly on the floor.
The door to the Blue Lion's hangar slid open before him, and, sure enough, there was Lance.
The beautiful mechanical beast had its translucent forcefield up, sitting proudly inside it like a real Earthen lion, albeit an unnaturally cobalt one. And Lance was sitting in front of it with his legs crossed, elbows resting on knees, and chin supported by his hands.
He turned quickly as Keith walked inside, looking briefly panicked before he realized who it was.
"Oh, Keith. I...thought you were Allura, or someone."
His voice lacked the usual upbeat timbre that Keith had grown used to hearing from him. It instead held a strange weight, a little huskier and scratchier than normal.
"What are you doing in here?" Keith asked curiously. Lance looked away from him as he shifted his position on the floor, pulling one of his knees up to his chest.
"Just...thinking, I guess?"
"...What kind of thinking is this, that has to be done specifically in the Blue Lion's hangar?" Keith asked, a hint of sarcasm leaking into his voice. Lance turned his head and gave the other boy a surprisingly fierce glare.
It was then that Keith noticed the redness of the skin around his blue eyes, and the tracks of not-yet-dry tearstains running down his cheeks. Lance had been crying.
Oh. So that's why he was here, on his own.
After a second's hesitation, Keith dropped onto the floor next to him. Though he was impressively tall when standing, Lance seemed very small and fragile at that moment.
He expected Lance to say something snippy or sarcastic or petty, but instead all he said was, "I miss Blue."
Keith didn't know what to say to that, didn't know how to react to the crushing sadness in Lance's tone. Luckily, he didn't have to say anything, as Lance continued speaking.
"I just...when we first got to the Castle of Lions, and Allura told us who would be piloting what, it just felt so right, you know? And Blue accepted me the moment we found her, and I thought it was all...I dunno, destiny or some stupid shit like that."
Keith raised his eyebrows. He hadn't heard Lance use Earthen swearwords since the Altean ones were introduced to their vocabulary. Pidge was known to have a pretty foul mouth, and Keith himself was guilty of cursing quite a bit here and there, but both Lance and Hunk seemed to prefer quiznak, whether using it in the proper tense or not.
"But I guess since Blue's shutting me out now...it wasn't really anything at all, was it? I mean, at first I thought Blue was just pissed at me because I wanted to fly the Black Lion, but now I think she just got tired of me, or something. Or maybe I was never 'meant' to be the Blue Paladin at all, if we're going with the destiny's not real thing."
"I...don't know. I've never really thought about it like that." Keith admitted, then immediately wished he'd said something better. He wasn't totally sure why Lance was choosing to talk to him about this, but he didn't want to shut him down.
Lance sighed aggrievedly. "You had to switch lions too, but it was different for you and Allura. The Black Lion actually chose you. Red just took pity on me after Blue booted me out."
He winced and glanced at Keith, as though he'd forgotten he was there. "Sorry, I know that was kind of a shitty thing to say. I'm not really thinking clearly right now."
"It's alright, I don't blame you." Keith said simply. Lance lifted his head slightly.
"What are you doing here, anyways?"
"Uh..." Keith reached up to scratch awkwardly at the back of his neck. "Looking for you, actually. I was thinking, since we've all been freaking out so much about Lotor and the comet and Shiro and everything, it might be nice to just escape for a bit. Not like a real mission or anything, just getting away from all this mess for a little while."
Lance watched him with curiously subdued lapis-blue eyes. "The whole team?" he asked.
"No, just you and me. There's a...place I wanna show you, I don't know if the others would be interested." Keith's face reddened slightly as he said this, hoping Lance wouldn't get the wrong idea. Don't ask if this is a date, don't ask if this is a date, please please don't ask if this is a date because I don't know what I'd say.
Unfolding from his huddled position, Lance said, "Alright, cool. D'you want to go in the Black Lion, or should we just take a pod?"
"Actually, I'd kinda like to fly the Red Lion?" Keith suggested. "I mean, obviously you'd be flying, but it's a bit too far for a pod, and I...kinda miss Red."
They both stood. Lance looked both cautious and curious, which Keith decided to take as a good sign.
--
It felt strange to be standing next to the pilot's seat instead of in it, but Keith didn't object as Lance sat down and rested his hands on the controls. Neither of them had bothered to put on their Paladin armour, since Keith was fairly certain they wouldn't run into trouble on the way there.
"So, where are we going?" Lance asked mildly.
Keith reached around him to type in the coordinates he'd memorized. "A small planet nearby." he said simply. Lance arched an eyebrow.
"That's all the information I get, huh?"
"For now, yeah. You'll see when we get there." Keith replied.
Lance let out a small chuckle as the Red Lion flew out of the hangar and away from the Castle. It was a weak and faded version of his usual laugh, but it lifted Keith's spirits a fraction nonetheless.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
Lance inclined his head slightly. "Just thinking. If this had happened a couple months ago, I would've been worried you were leading me into some kind of trap in an attempt to make me shut up about our rivalry."
Keith allowed a small laugh to slip out as well before he asked, "Yeah, that seems like you. What changed?"
Lance opened his mouth, glanced at Keith, reddened slightly, shut it again, and looked away. Keith watched this curiously, wondering nervously what exactly the strange reaction implied.
They didn't talk much more after that, as Lance steered the Red Lion down towards the minute planet. The place was bursting with colour- turquoise-green plant life, shining indigo rivers, and pale clouds in all possible shades of violet.
Lance made a show of looking around as they landed. "Well, this is...pretty." he said in a borderline mocking tone.
Keith slapped his hand on the top of the pilot's seat. "Shut up and come with me. We're just in time."
"In time for what?" Lance asked, but followed Keith anyways as he exited the feline ship.
Once they were outside, standing between the massive lion's front paws, Lance dragged in a deep breath of the fresh air. "Actually, this place is really nice. It'd be fun to bring the rest of the team here too, since I think we could all probably use a break."
"Maybe." Keith shrugged. His focus was directed up at the sky that was becoming cloudier by the second. "But I still think it'll mean most to you."
The former Blue Paladin gave him another curious, almost suspicious look. "Since when are you so cryptic? And what exactly are you...wait a minute, is that...?"
Lance stepped out from under the protection of the Red Lion just as the first raindrops began to fall.
Pure, clear droplets of water fell in an increasingly faster rhythm, quickly dampening Lance's hair and clothes. The dubious expression completely melted away, replaced by one of wonder and happiness.
He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, still grinning, clearly enjoying the feel of the raindrops against his skin as the shower became a near deluge.
Still standing beneath the Red Lion, Keith watched him with his heart tapping out an unbearably loud beat in his chest. Now that they were here, it was hard to deny his real motives. Wanting to cheer Lance up hadn't been about preserving the team. It was about this, the way he felt when he looked at the other boy's blissful smile. It was about the fact that making Lance happy in turn made Keith himself happy, in a way he didn't know how to describe.
Keith had spent longer than he'd like to admit searching for a planet that had rain like Earth's. He didn't want to ask Pidge for help in finding one, because although she probably could've completed the search in minutes, she also most likely would've teased him mercilessly about his wholly transparent feelings for Lance.
So he'd researched on his own. It had taken awhile, but he'd finally found the perfect place: a small, primarily uninhabited planet with a breathable atmosphere, where it consistently rained for a little over an hour, every single day.
The deep blue eyes were open again, and Keith quickly schooled his soft expression into something more characteristic. Luckily, Lance didn't seem to notice.
"You...you found this place, for me?" he asked quietly.
Keith shrugged, hoping he seemed nonchalant. "Yeah. I remembered you said you really missed the rain on Earth, so I...figured you might like to see something like it again, since you've been so downcast lately."
Now it was Lance's turn to reply with a gentle smile. "Thank you. That's...a lot sweeter than I thought you were."
"What can I say? I have hidden depths." Keith said with a flippant wave of his hand.
Lance's expression brightened into a broad grin, tinged with mischief. He hurried back over to where Keith stood, and grabbed his hand.
Shocked by the sudden gesture, Keith barely had time to dig his heels into the soft ground as Lance attempted to pull him out into the rain. "No! No way. You're welcome to get as sodden as you like, but you're not dragging me out into it." he objected.
The other boy's playful smile didn't falter. "Aw, come on, Keith. You can't just watch a rainstorm like this. You gotta be in it."
"Maybe you do," he retorted. "but not me."
"Incorrect!" Lance proclaimed in a singsong voice, tugging harder on Keith's hand. Keith laughed and stood his ground.
Lance suddenly stopped pulling, instead stepping closer. "Please?" he asked quietly.
Keith's heart jumped, and he let out an exaggeratedly annoyed sigh. "Fine. Fine. If it will make you stop yanking on me, I will gladly allow myself to become a wet mop like you."
Keith stepped cautiously out into the downpour. He honestly really didn't like being out in the rain, but he didn't really have the capacity to say no to Lance.
It wasn't as bad as he'd expected. The water landing on him was cool, but the surrounding air was warm enough to keep him from actually getting cold. Plus, his face was still red-hot from the knowledge that Lance's hand was still gripping his own.
Lance had returned to grinning up at the sky. He was thoroughly drenched now, water running in rivulets down his brown face. He'd left his jacket in the Red Lion, so his grey and blue shirt was soaking wet. But Keith didn't know if he'd ever seen him look so happy.
He finally released Keith's hand to pivot in a small circle, arms spread wide as though he could hug the sky. He did this for several happy moments, before his smile slowly faded and he looked at Keith again.
"Thank you." he said again.
"Of course." Keith said, but Lance was shaking his head. "No, listen. I don't think you know how much it means to me, that you brought me here."
"Yeah?" Keith inquired softly.
Lance's gaze dropped. "Yeah. It...you were right, I have been really down lately. It's not anyone's fault, and there's not much I can do, but...yeah."
"You can...I mean, if it would help, you can tell me. I swear, I'm not gonna make fun of you or spill any secrets to Pidge." Keith said slowly.
Lance gave him a look that was almost amused, but not quite. "That would be much appreciated. She knows too much already."
He looked up at the sky again, his voice slowly, gradually falling into a more melancholy tone. "Things have been kinda hard for me these last couple weeks. You already...I already complained to you about how upset I was that Blue kicked me out, but it's more than that."
Keith watched mutely as Lance closed his eyes. He wasn't sure why the other boy was choosing to open up about this to him, but he wasn't about to stop him.
"It just makes me wonder why, y'know? And...what that means for me. Because if I'm not the Blue Paladin, and I'm not our cool ninja sharpshooter...who am I? Am I really that easily tossed aside and replaced? And if I am...why am I even still on this team?"
Lance's voice was quiet, seeming almost like he was speaking more to the sky itself than to Keith. Now that the flood of words had begun, it seemed impossible to stop. "I've spent years fading into the background of things. I'm the middle of my family, and no matter how hard I tried, I was always just another pilot at the Garrison. So to get here, and find out that I'm a destined Paladin of legend...it was like a dream." His head dropped, and his voice faded to almost a whisper as he added, "And now I'm finally having to wake up to being a worthless, forgettable nothing again."
Keith didn't know what to say, feeling like his heart was cracking to pieces in his chest. Mustering all the courage he had, he cautiously reached over and grasped Lance's hand.
"Lance, no. Listen to me." Keith ordered gently. "You are not worthless, or forgettable. This team needs you. What would happen if we didn't have you around to keep things lighthearted? Who would I make fun of?"
Lance's eyes dropped to him again, and Keith smiled. "I'm serious. That's why Red took you in. Because she knew we need you, even if you aren't the Blue Paladin anymore. You're more important than you give yourself credit for, to all of us. You are the goofball, but that doesn't mean that's all you are. Trust me, Lance. You're...you're incredible."
Mopping at his teary eyes, Lance sniffed, "Thanks. That...helps a lot."
Neither of them said anything else for a few moments, gazing over at each other like they were waiting for something to happen. Keith felt strangely calm, the butterflies he'd felt earlier fading into nothing.
Lance suddenly looked away, his face reddening slightly as he glanced furtively between their intertwined fingers and the ground as though he'd just realized that they were, in fact, holding hands. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, Keith was quick to retract his hand. "Uh...I'm, uh, sorry if I crossed any boundaries. I'm not very good at comforting people, and I just..."
To his surprise and relief, the taller boy let out a quiet laugh. "Hey, no, you're fine. It just kind of surprised me- this is a whole new side of you. I'm not used to this Nice Keith yet."
"I...suppose that's fair." Keith returned with a self-deprecating smirk as he tried and failed to interpret Lance's complicated expression. He seemed serious, but something about his eyes indicated a gentle, unfamiliar playfulness.
"But you know? This might be wishful thinking, but I could get used to it. You being nice, I mean."
Keith couldn't think of anything to say to that, could hardly think at all through the pounding of his heart and the gentle sound of the still-falling rain.
In a sudden flurry of movement, Lance reached over and pulled him into a quick, sincere hug. "Thank you." He murmured again. The familiar note of happiness was back in his voice, making Keith smile as well as he hugged him back.
"Oh! I just had a great idea!" Lance exclaimed as they pulled slowly away. He was suddenly grinning mischievously. "We should totally bring the others here, for like a picnic or something, but not tell them it's going to downpour. I'd love to see the look on Shiro's face."
Keith practically cackled, imagining the scenario already. "Pidge would probably try to literally murder us. You know how she feels about the outdoors."
"Naahhh, I could take her." Lance said, waving a hand flippantly. "If anyone on this team actually had the capacity to scare me, it'd probably be you."
"Me? Why me?" asked Keith, half indignant and half amused.
Lance shrugged easily, somehow managing to make the motion dismissive and elegant at the same time. "How is that even a question? You're Keith. You're complicated and unpredictable and...I don't know how you expect me to be eloquent about it!" he said through a slight laugh.
Keith elbowed him teasingly. "Come on, is that really such a terrible thing?"
"Did I say it was?" Lance challenged good-naturedly, giving Keith another strangely serious look over his laid-back smile.
In that moment, Keith felt aware of everything. The rain was gradually slowing but not fully letting up, and trails of cool water streamed down his warm face. The air was full of the rich, earthy smell of the damp ground, which was far more pleasant than it might seem.
And there was him and Lance, standing only a few inches apart, former rivals turned...something else. Something that Keith wasn't quite sure of yet.
His own heartbeat thrummed gently in his ears, still not quite as loud as the lessening rain. He knew it was only going to be a few moments more before the lack of space between him and Lance got awkward, but he didn't want it to end.
A million desperate thoughts were chasing each other madly through his mind.
I could kiss him right now. It would be so easy- just one step closer and lean up. I could.
Would he let me? Have I been reading this wrong? What if it's just wishful thinking, and he isn't interested in me at all?
Oh god, I don't have the courage for this. I just don't.
But what if he was okay with it? What if it turned out fine? What if I changed everything between us?
It seems like he likes me. He keeps acting like he does. But is that just who he is? Am I just making this up? Or...?
No. Stop thinking about it. Just do it. Just do it.
"Keith, I'm...I, uh..." Lance was blushing red as he glanced away. "I really...hell, I'm bad at talking." he said with a rueful laugh, then looked back at Keith.
This is your chance. Keith told himself. Just do it, you coward.
He leaned in, starting to rise up on tiptoe to close the gap between them...
A familiar voice suddenly split the air as the Red Lion's speakers came to life. "LANCE! LANCE MCCLAIN, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! I SWEAR TO GOD, LANCE!"
Both boys startled violently at the sound of Pidge's angry yell, practically jumping away from each other. Lance pivoted and raced towards the ship, already shouting a reply even though he had to know she wouldn't be able to hear him yet. "Sorry, sorry! I'm coming!"
Keith followed quickly, his initial surprise already starting to give way to disappointment. He'd missed his chance. They would be thrown into...whatever was going on back at the Castle of Lions, and back into their normal Paladin life. Even if he somehow managed to regather his courage, he wouldn't get an opportunity like the one he'd just blown.
Lance was shouting back at Pidge through the normal comms channel when Keith made it back into the cockpit. "I'm here, I'm here! Shut it! What's happening? Are you guys under attack? Did Lotor show up again?"
"We don't have to be under attack! You guys just vanished out of nowhere!" Pidge's voice snapped. "You can't just freaking disappear like that, you moron! And Keith had BETTER be with you- I'm gonna flip my shit if I have to track him down too."
"I'm here, I'm here." Keith said quickly, trying to placate Pidge's admittedly justified wrath. "We just..." he trailed off, looking over at Lance, who shrugged. "...wanted to get away from everything for a little while. Did you literally just hack the Red Lion so we would hear you?"
"Duh. What other choice did you give me?" she replied, still sounding mad. "I managed to locate it fine, but I've been shouting at you guys for like ten minutes, with no reply! So yeah, I took drastic measures. Anyways, get your asses back here. Coran's finally decided to bless us with the full history of the Lions, or some other infuriatingly relevant information he's been sitting on for who knows how long."
Lance blew a halfhearted raspberry. "Ugh, history? Why does that require me? You know I'm going to forget it right away."
Pidge made an exasperated noise, and Keith could just picture her rolling her eyes behind her glasses. "We'll be right there." he assured her, clapping a hand on the top of the pilot's seat.
"Good." she snapped, and the communication channel went dark.
Lance sighed. "Well, that was nice, but I guess duty calls." he said in a tired, hesitant voice as he laid his hands on the controls.
The flight back to the Castle of Lions seemed too short. The two of them talked casually and easily, reveling in their unfamiliar new cadence. They'd left their 'rivalry' behind ages ago, but hadn't quite fit the bill as friends yet.
Now, though, with some of the barriers eroded...now things seemed like they could be different.
Exactly how different, Keith wasn't sure yet. But all things considered, he couldn't wait to find out.
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Bad lazy place to end?? Yeah, probably. But it was like midnight and I really wanted to just get this done hhhh
There will probably be a second part eventually, maybe, we'll see
And I'm definitely definitely gonna write more Voltron stuff soon, I never have before and I liked writing the characters (well, at least these boys) more than I expected ^^
Word count- 4119