"I care. I always care. That is my problem."
-Anonymous
Your eyes were wide with both shock and disbelief as you stared at the spirit in front of you, heart beating a little too fast for your liking.
You were certain that you simply didn't hear him right. That your mind was playing tricks on you and what you thought you heard wasn't at all what he had actually said.
Seokjin's gaze never left yours.
Blue clashed with blue as the two of you stared at each other, both hearts pounding...but for different reasons.
"Y/n," Jin breathed out, licking his lips slowly. "Kiss me."
You blinked.
Kiss me.
Those two words were enough to make you fall silent underneath the setting moon.
To some, the request would seem small and ultimately harmless, especially in the bigger picture...but you knew better.
You honestly couldn't believe how utterly stupid you were, allowing yourself to grow close with him when you knew-you knew...that you couldn't stay here. You knew that once this story was finished...you would have to leave...just like every other time.
Writer's words flashed through your mind.
"Stop falling in love."
You had sworn to yourself that after everything you went through with Yoongi and Taehyung...you were going to leave your feelings out of it. You were going to focus on finishing the stories and going home...wherever that may be..
But, the thing is...You didn't even realize how much you cared about the ghost in front of you...You didn't know how close the two of you were becoming..you didn't know how much you had grown to admire and cherish Kim Seokjin...
It was like it just snuck up on you..
A few moments ago, you thought of the spirit as your friend..nothing more.
But, once those words left his mouth-once those two small words left his mouth...you knew that you had already begun to care about him in ways that you shouldn't.
You wished that you could merely brush it off as Jin being so handsome...but you had gone through this before...and you knew that your heart wasn't just fluttering because he was handsome....
But you couldn't do it again.
You couldn't fall in love again. Not after everything you had gone through. You have loved so beautifully-so purely not one time, but two.....and both times, your happiness was ripped away from you in the blink of an eye....And in the end...you were only left with one thing.
A choice.
A choice between the two worlds...a choice between the men you love..
You couldn't betray either of them by allowing yourself to fall once again...
You simply couldn't.
"I-I can't." You stuttered out, eyes misty as you looked away from the ghost before you.
Seokjin's eyes widened as your rejections, his hand shooting out to grab yours gently.
"Why not?" He asked quietly.
You pulled your hand away from him, never allowing your eyes to meet his own.
You were ashamed.
Jin's eyes softened and he scooted his body closer to yours.
"Stop." You demanded softly.
His body froze as he stared at you.
"We cannot do this." You stated bluntly, still not looking at him. "You and I...we aren't- we can't be..."
Your sentence trailed off...You couldn't think of the right words to use in a situation like this.
Jin's hand found yours once again, his fingers slowly intertwining with yours.
"You're scared."
Your blue eyes instantly snapped to Jin's at his odd choice of words, your brows furrowing together.
"I-I'm not-"
"You are." Jin interrupted. "You're terrified of something and I can tell...But, you don't have to be."
Jin's free hand slowly moved underneath your chin, raising your face to his, your noses brushing against each other.
"I want this." He breathed. "I want this and I want you and I know that you want me as well...and that's all that matters right now...nothing else."
You bit your lip, shaking your head.
"You don't understand." You stated with big eyes.
"Then help me understand." He said. "I want to understand you. I want to know everything about you. I want you to be able to trust me with anything-everything...because you're that important to me....I-I care about you, Y/n."
Your heart plummeted at that, body going rigid under his cool touch.
Your mind couldn't even think of the words to say in that moment.
"D-Don't say that." You stuttered out. "Don't tell me that..please."
"But it's the truth." The spirit whispered. "and I have to tell you the truth...Even if it's just this once."
You brows furrowed and you opened your mouth to question him, but your words were cut off as his lips suddenly crashed onto yours, his hands grabbing the sides of your face.
Your blue eyes widened and you struggled to process exactly what was happening in that moment, your stomach sank and your heart stopped beating for a few seconds.
You could feel yourself growing sick...not because of the fact that Jin was kissing you, but because of the fact that you were enjoying it...and you didn't want that moment to end.
Hot tears fell down your cheeks as he began to kiss you deeper.
You were certain that you looked crazy, but at the moment you didn't care..
Seokjin pulled your body impossibly closer to his own, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip.
You told your body to push him away, but you couldn't find the strength to...
Dear god why were you such a terrible person...why did you have to feel this way?
Yoongi's face flashed through your mind.
That was all it took for you to snap back to reality.
Your hands found Jin's firm chest and you pushed it as hard as you could, sending his body away from yours and disconnecting your lips.
Your chest heaved as you struggled to keep yourself composed.
The young spirit's eyes were wide as he stared at you, confusion etching his handsome features.
"Why-Why did you-"
"I can't!" You yelled, bottom lip trembling. "I can't do this anymore!"
Seokjin's brows furrowed.
"What are-"
"I'm tired of being like this!" You sobbed. "I'm tired of hating myself for wanting to be happy! I'm tired of betraying the people I love! I'm tired of always- always getting to close to someone and loosing them in the end!"
The spirit remained quiet as you continued to rant, standing to your feet.
"I hate these stupid stories!" You stated. "None of this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't so special! If I was normal then I wouldn't be stuck living like this! Like-Like I don't even matter!"
Your tear-filled eyes met Jin's.
"He loves me!" You yelled. "They both do and I-I know they do, but I still-still do this! I still get too caught up in the story! I make myself believe that my ending can be happy too, but it can't, can it? I'm always going to end up the same way. Alone."
Seokjin couldn't stop gaping at your odd words, he didn't understand what you were saying or why you were saying it..but he didn't need to know....because the only thing that mattered to him in that moment..was how broken you sounded.
"I love them both." You sniffed. "I love two men....and now-now I think I may be falling for a third and I can't...I can't stand betraying him again. I can't stand caring for someone again. I can't stand leaving again."
Within an instant the ghost was by your side, his strong arms wrapping around you, allowing you to bury your head into his chest as he held you tightly.
He wasn't exactly sure what just happened, but he couldn't find it inside of himself to care..
He simply wanted one thing...
And that was to hold you.
It was too bad that he didn't see Hoseok hastily approaching the two of you.
A/N,
I know that this one is short and bad so I'm sorry, but it's an update!
I'm sorry. Alot of stuff is going on right now, but I will try an post something tomorrow as well!!!!❤❤❤❤❤
In the mean time, drop me some questions!
I love you.
I adore you.
I purple you.
I'm out.
-Max