And [recall] when We saved your forefathers from the people of Pharaoh, who afflicted you with the worst torment, slaughtering your [newborn] sons and keeping your females alive. And in that was a great trial from your Lord.
It's been a month since the death of Ahlam and Abdul's baby and it hasn't been easy on either of them, especially Ahlam. She barely eats nor gets any sleep, she doesn't speak and only respond with nods, she's not doing well in terms of being a functional human being, she is utterly numb.
The Doctor walked in and everyone's attention went to her "Mrs. Shema how are you feeling today?" She asks Ahlam
Ahlam nods and continued rubbing her belly, something she does whenever the Doctor walks in "Okay... How is she doing?" The Dr. turned her attention to Abdul
"Well she doesn't speak to anyone, she doesn't eat well, she doesn't sleep plus she hates my presence, she can't tolerate noises, whenever a hospital staff walks in she becomes grumpy or starts doing weird stuff like what she's doing now"
"She is going through severe depression, she will need serious help so I'll suggest a few therapists and you can choose who you want her to see. I am going to discharge you today and she can continue taking her current meds, I'll prescribe some vitamins and painkillers as well as an antidepressant, you can come back in 3-4 weeks and the orthopedic will remove the cast. Do you have any questions?" The Dr asks
"Is she going to be okay? Am I going to ever get the old her back?"
"It's going to take time but with proper help and family support she'll be okay, she's going to need you more than ever but she won't show it, she'll do everything she can to push you away so you have to be strong to not let the depression succeed in driving you two apart"
"Thank you, Dr," Abdul says and she nods and walked out
He looked back at Ahlam, she has stopped rubbing her belly. Her eyes were swollen and had bags underneath as if she hadn't slept in years. He starts walking closer to her and she began to shake her head and body vigorously so he decided to sit far away from her to give her her own space.
————-
They arrived at the house and Ahlam was wheeled to the main house, Mary opened the door wide open welcoming her madam back.
"Stop," Ahlam said to Abdul who was pushing the wheelchair, he stopped then came in front of her and squatted
"I can't go inside, I don't want to. Please don't make me go inside" she starts to shiver, the events of the accident replaying in her head again.
"It's okay baby, you won't go in" Abdul reaches for her hand to soothe her but she pulled away. She hasn't let him touch a single hair in her body since after their last talk.
Abdul fisted his hand and placed it back on his lap "Do you want to stay at the guest chalet?" He asks and she nods so he wheeled her there instead
Abdul had Mary move his and Ahlam's clothes to the guest chalet as they will be staying there till Ahlam recovers. Ahlam's parents had to go back to Mauritania because Ikrams now 3 months old baby boy was admitted to the hospital. Khadijah, Safi, and Mimi offered to come and help because Ahlam doesn't like Abdul's presence so it will be hard for him alone to take care of her.
That night Abdul went to the room to help Ahlam change into her nightwear.
"I don't need your help," she says as he approaches her
"Yes you do" he starts to lift her from the wheelchair
"Don't touch me" she hits him on the back with her non-cast hand repeatedly but he didn't budge, he dropped her on the bed gently.
"If you want to help me then bring my child back to me" she yells
"You know I can't do that"
"Then I don't want your help, leave me alone!"
"Baby I'm not going anywhere, I'm your husband let me help, I know what you're going through and I want to be there for you. Please let me" Abdul pleads "we can either do this the easy way or the hard way you choose," he says after she didn't respond.
She rolled her eyes and took a deep sigh of defeat
"Good" Abdul breathes and he begins to undress her
Ahlam started therapy the next day and the two hours that the therapist sat with her in the living room she said nothing, not a single word came out of her mouth. The following day wasn't any better, they both sat there looking at each other and the days that came after that, Ahlam would just sit and wait for the session to get over and leave afterward, some days she doesn't even wait for the session to be over in order to leave and some days she just refuses to leave her bed.
Today is their ninth session and Ahlam isn't cooperative at all.
"Stop I said I don't want to go" she begins to sob
"You have to, it will help you... us" he whispered the us
"Is it going to bring back my child?" She asks
"No but.."
"Then I'm not going to do it," she says firmly
"Well you don't have a choice because the doctor ordered it and you will do it" he snaps back
She was surprised he used that tone on her because he has always been gentle with her except for now.
Abdul wheeled her to the living room "I have a meeting but I'll be back early. If you need anything just call me" he tells Ahlam who purposely ignored him but he knew that would happen, he took off leaving her with the therapist
"I can tell you're hurting but burying it all in won't do any good" the therapist says after Ahlam ignored her for the past forty five minutes
"And you think talking to you about my feelings will do good" Ahlam spoke for the first time on their session
"Yes, because I can help you and I'm glad you're talking."
"I DON'T NEED HELP! Can everyone stop saying that" she grits
"Okay but I need your help since you don't need mine"
"Dr...?"
"Anne" the therapist chips in
"Dr. Anne, I'm sure you're wonderful at what you do otherwise my husband wouldn't have hired you to come and warm our couch but I don't need your help. You can see yourself out when you're done" Ahlam says and presses the forward button for her wheelchair to move
Dr. Anne stood up "I understand what you're going through...." She begins but Ahlam cuts her off
"You have absolutely no idea what I'm going through, no one does so stop saying you understand because you don't" Ahlam raises her voice
"I'm sorry, you're right I don't understand but can you please help me understand then?" She gives Ahlam an empathetic look
Ahlam glanced at her then looked away
"I assure you that whatever we talk about stays between the two of us, I don't share confidential information with my patient's partners or family members, I only let them know if the patient is improving or not"
Ahlam nods and drew her chair back facing Dr. Anne
"Where do I start?" She heaves a sigh and the Dr smiles sitting back on the couch
"Anywhere you want, we can come back to anything you miss out" Anne assures her with a smile
"On October 31st late at night, I was waiting for my husband who traveled on a business trip to come back home to me and our baby when three men broke into our home. Everything happened so fast, they didn't come to steal anything they wanted to kill my baby for a reason I don't know. I was manhandled by one of them and physically assaulted, he..." Ahlam paused the flashback of the event hitting her right on the face "he grabbed me by the hand and wanted to force me to bed so that I'll push the baby out, my house-help hit him and I was able to run away from his hold but I didn't get any far, he grabbed my leg and I fell flat on my tummy. I still remember the pain when that happened" she closes her eyes shut to prevent the tears from streaming down her cheeks "At that moment I was really scared and thought they've gotten what they've come for because I was bleeding and I was sure it came from the baby, I thought that was it." Ahlam wiped a few tears that escaped her eyes with the back of her hand
"I was fearful for my baby's life and mine, I remember struggling to get up and I tried my best to run and look for help but I was..... uhmm that was when the other guy pushed me down the stairs and the next thing I know I woke up in the hospital and my baby was gone" Ahlam continued telling the Dr everything till the part where she and Abdul fought.
"Do you want us to stop?" Dr. Anne asks
Ahlam blew her nose with a tissue and took more to wipe her tears, she shook her head responding to the Dr.s question. She opened her mouth to talk but she began to sob and more tears were gushing down her red cheeks
"It's okay take your time" Dr. Anne assures her
"And he doesn't understand the damage he has done..." she sobbed onto the tissue
They took a break till Ahlam was able to talk without crying
"Did you feel relieved after venting on him?" Dr. Anne asks
"A bit, but I was angrier after that. He looked into my eyes and he lied to me, he does that all the time and it hurts me that I keep forgiving him while he keeps doing it again and again."
Dr. Anne took notes on her notepad while she listens carefully to Ahlam, someone who has deliberately gone mute is now talking so much, it's a good change.
"If you were Abdul and you found yourself in the same situation he did with you in the hospital, who would you have chosen to save?" Dr. Anne asks
"I would choose the baby because I made a promise I have to keep," she says
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," she says firmly
The following day they talked about something different.
"I thought they were my parents, they lied to me my entire life. Even when I pointed out some differences between me and my siblings they would say it's because I took the features of my dad's side of the family. Everyone just keeps lying to me and it's frustrating, they keep saying it's to protect me what they don't get is I don't need protecting from the truth"
Dr. Anne noted everything important while listening attentively "So you were angry at everyone including Khadijah and your husband but you were angrier at your husband, why?"
"We said no secrets, regardless of whether it was his place or not he should've told me" she vents
Anne nods and continued questioning Ahlam
Every day was a different topic, Ahlam looks forward to every session which makes Anne's job easier.
Today Abdul came our without Ahlam "where is she?" Dr. Anne asks
"Today's session is not possible, she's been crying ever since last night, she refuses to eat and wants to be left alone. I'm sorry about that"
"Did she tell you what's wrong?" Dr. Anne asks
"No, but I heard her sobbing 'my baby' so I guess it's about him. Will she ever be over it?" He looked both exhausted and concerned
"Completely no, but she will be okay with time."
"I miss her so much, I wish there's something I could do to bring her back to her old self"
"There is," Dr. Anne says and Abdul gives her his full attention "I want to talk to you and hear your side of everything, and then will I be able to tell you how to help her" Abdul agreed immediately and they sat
——————
Ahlam's casts were removed today, Abdul drove them back from the hospital. Her condition has improved over the weeks, she doesn't ignore Abdul completely anymore neither does she engage in long conversations with him, he has been very patient with her.
"Do you want to enter the main house?" He asks but immediately regretted it after seeing the horror on her face "You don't have to if you don't feel ready, but if you decide to go in I'll come with you and I'll hold your hand if you'll let me, to reassure that everything will be okay and you have me by your side ." Ahlam nods gently
He hopped out and went to the other side to open her door, she gave him her hand and he held it without question. They walked side by side like old times into the main house, Ahlam whispered Bismillah (In the name of the Allah) and took a sharp breath before entering.
He picked her up in a bridal style up to the top of the stairs, her eyes were closed throughout, with every step he took her heart raced a million times as she remembers rolling down the same stairs two months ago. He gently dropped her on her feet when they reached the top and walked to the only place she has been wanting to see.
She pushed the door open and to her surprise, everything was in its place, nothing has been moved in the nursery. She paused and stared at the picture of the baby on ultrasound that was framed and kept on the table, grazing her knuckles along with crib she burst into tears sobbing into her mouth.
"He's really gone" she whispered clutching her belly, Abdul pulled her into a hug and she hugged him back tightly. That's the closest they've been together for a long time. Suddenly Abdul's phone started ringing but he ignored it because there's nothing more important to him than being close to Ahlam, the caller called back again and this time around Ahlam pulled back wiping her tears as she tells him to answer the call.
"I'm sure it's not important" he replied but she shook her head so he gave in and picked the phone out of his pocket about to scold whoever disturbed their moment, but looking at the caller he got nervous and excused himself out of the nursery.
"Inna Ina wuni? (Good evening Inna)"
"Yo ai na dauka bik ka dauka (I thought you won't pick up)"
"No, I wouldn't do that" Abdul says in Hausa
"Sannu mijin Hajiya, ganin ka yayi tsada (Well done, Hajiya's husband, seeing you has become very expensive)"
Mijin Hajiya- roughly translates to Hajiya's husband, by Hajiya- she means Ahlam. It's a way of teasing men that pay so much attention to their wives and do almost everything they say.
"Haba Inna it's not like that" he defends
"Toh yaya nene (then how is it?) It's been almost a year now you refuse to come and see me for what reason?"
"Inna I explained I can't leave Ahlam alone in this condition..."
"Dallacan rufe mun baki (will you close your mouth)" she cuts him off "as if she can't take care of herself. Don't you have a maid that can help her? Wani wai (saying) I can't leave her in this condition, which condition is she in that other women haven't been in? Almost every woman has had a miscarriage, so she better stop pretending as if hers is any different, Haba! How many months will one keep sulking on something that was never in his control."
"Inna you don't understand what she has gone through or what she's going through, this may seem like a normal thing to you but not to her. She's not in a good place right now and I intend on being there for her because she's my wife and I love her no matter what condition she's in. With regards to visiting you, I'll try and fix a date after we come back from England because I'm going to take Ahlam there for treatment"
"Wallahi Abdulrahim idan ka saki ka bar kasar nan Baka zo ka gaida ni ba, ni da kai ne(I swear Abdulrahim if you dare leave this country without coming to greet me, it's me and you)" and she ends the call, the fact that she called him by his name means that she's pissed at him because that's only when she calls him by his birth name.
Abdul called her back but she didn't pick up, she has been on his neck the past few days trying to get him to agree to move his wedding with Maryam closer but he doesn't even want to talk about it hence why he refused to go to katsina and see her. Now that she's mad at him to the point that she ended their call he must go to her before he leaves for England because that woman is full of surprises, he wouldn't want to come back from England to hear that he has a new wife.
He went back to the nursery but Ahlam wasn't there anymore, he went to her room and found her there.
"I was looking for you" she turned her mouth forming an o
"I want to talk to you about something," he says rubbing his palms on his thighs "I've been arranging for us to go to the UK to try and get help. I've spoken to one of the best gynecologist and reproductive endocrinologist so there are high chances that they can be of help"
"Okay" she nods
Abdul tilted his head to one side surprised she just agreed "Okay?"
"Yeah, when do we leave?"
"Uhmm after I come back from katsina In shaa Allah, I have urgent matters to take care of there. I'll be leaving tomorrow morning In shaa Allah"
"I won't be coming with you right?" She starts to walk out and he followed suit
"No you won't, Mimi and Safi will come over for a while till I come back"
————
Anne decided to have both of them together for today's session. They both sat on the same couch but at different ends of the couch. Ahlam and Abdul started fighting about the baby again, Anne tried to reason with both of them but they weren't listening, they were arguing on top of their voice.
"I can't even carry another child again and it's all your fault. If you had stuck to the promise you made this wouldn't have happened"
"Enough!" Abdul was shaking violently, as if he was sobbing nonstop but made no sound nor shed tears "Not once have you asked me how I am feeling as if I did not lose a child as well, I lost both of you because you were practically dead after the incident. I've been hurting ever since but I had to bury all my feelings and I never showed it cause I had to be strong for YOU and make sure I'm there for YOU whenever you need me. I was there for you throughout but were you there for me? Your pain is my pain and you know that yet you call me MY own sons murderer, and if I had saved the baby your parents would've called me their daughters murderer, is that what you wanted?" Ahlam was frozen in her position, her heart was repeatedly pounding, all these while she hasn't realized how everything that happened has affected him as much as it affected her. "Do you know how I feel whenever you say I killed our baby? I loved him so much and you know that. I'm not going to apologize again for the choice I made and I for sure will not regret it no matter how much you'll hate me."
"That's a lot" Anne said "Ahlam do you have anything to say?" Ahlam shook her head cause she is in shock
"Okay Ahlam I'll start with you, what you're feeling right now is rage, you've gathered all your anger and channeled it to your husband because he's easier to blame. He hid secrets from you; your birth parents, he broke his promise, he raised his hands on you, he gave you a hard time accepting the baby and a lot more so you feel like you're always forgiving him for hurting you and you think he doesn't deserve your forgiveness this time around." Ahlam nods agreeing with Dr. Anne "But forgiveness is essential in every relationship it is never too much because we keep committing sins and God continues to forgive us whenever we repent, so find it in your heart to forgive him and also ask for his forgiveness because you wrongfully blamed him and hurt his feelings repeatedly without knowing you were doing so. He was hurting as much as you were but you didn't notice because you were immersed in your pain"
"For you Abdul you love her too much and that's kind of the problem because you love her so much you don't want anything to hurt her so you keep things away from her without knowing that's what hurts her the most, she wants an in not just into your life but your mind and thoughts, she wants you to trust her enough to know that she can bear anything as long as she has you by her side. You need to confide in her as she does in you. I'm not saying you should stop loving her, all I'm saying is open up to her as much as you love her, let there be no secrets between the two of you, especially secrets you know that'll hurt her when she finds out. You need to believe she's strong enough to handle anything."
"Okay" Abdul nods
"Now I want both of you to think about what I told you and try to implement that, and you need to be there for each other. You can't go to the UK still mad at one another with no support, you'll need one another more than ever. Do you have any questions?"
They both shook their heads, so Anne ended the session for that day.
———
Abdul arrived at katsina around noon and went to greet the king first before going to see his grandmother. She looked grumpy and barely replied to Abdul's greeting.
"Abdul ka manta da alkawarinka ne? (Have you forgotten the promise you made?)" Inna asked
"Promise?"
"Yes na auran ka the Maryam (your promise to marry Maryam) it's high time we start preparing, I know the reason you stopped coming to see me is to avoid talking about it."
"Inna it's not a good time, Ahlam and I just lost our child and she's not in a good place now..."
"Shut up" she cuts him off "the moment I start talking about the wedding you mention Ahlam as if she has anything to do with it. I'm not saying you're getting married right now but if we don't start preparing when do you want us to? This girl is not getting any younger"
"I'm not ready, they should give me more time," Abdul says
"If you're not careful we'll just do the Fatiha and let you know later on"
Abdul switched his weight on his other leg in his sitting position on the carpet "Inna my mind is still not at peace with this marriage maybe you should think about it again.."
"Kaci Gidan ku" she insults him in their native language "you should be lucky that you're marrying the King's daughter, a royal not some ordinary person like your wife" she makes a face with her nose flared
Abdul scowled at his grandma "My wife is not ordinary" he says with clenched teeth
"Okay tell me what's special about her? That she's not Nigerian and she's adopted? Is that what makes her special?" Inna folds her arms "Is she royalty? Is she a billionaires daughter? Is she a politician's daughter? NO! What has she contributed to this marriage? Nothing! No cooking, No housewife duties, No child..."
"Enough!" Abdul raises his voice at his grandma for the first time "I will not sit here and listen to you insult my wife like she's one of your servants. She's special in my eyes and my parent's eyes and Allah made her special. And no she's not royalty, she's none of what you mentioned but she's a loyal servant of Allah, a loving, devoting and caring wife, the perfect daughter-in-law, the best sister-in-law and she's a millionaire co-owning one of the largest drug-producing companies in Nigeria. She is the wife of Abdulrahim Shema, MY WIFE, she doesn't have to be special in your eyes because she's already blessed, Tabarakallah Masha Allah" He starts to walk out of the room but she stops him
"Are you disrespecting me because of her?" Abdul didn't say a word, he knew he shouldn't have spoken to his grandmother that way but she was crossing the line. She never says anything good about Ahlam. "Toh Wallahi kabi ahankali da ni (Be careful with me) or else I'll be the reason you'll no longer be married to her. Abunda mu muka daura ai bazaiyi wiyan kwance wa ba (what we tied by ourselves won't be hard for us to lose)" Abdul was looking at her with his side-eye as she continues threatening to end his marriage with Ahlam.
"Dan banza, mijin Hajiya kawai (Stupid boy, Hajiya's husband)" she hissed "After you come back from abroad come directly to me, we're going to sit with your father and finalize everything before you approach the king and set the date. You must marry this girl I promise you." She taps her index finger on her tongue and raises it, showing him that she swears with the Almighty he must marry her.
He came out of the palace pissed and his phone started ringing.
"What?" He snapped at whoever it was
"Sorry for disturbing you sir but we have a lead on who ordered the robbery in your house" Nathaniel informed
"Who is it?"
"Someone that goes by Rolls Royce, we're yet to find out the persons real name"
"No need, I know who it is" he cuts off the call and threw his phone to the wall while screaming on the inside.
Toh (well)
Tashi Ta Kare (he's done for)
Who is this Rolls Royce? Any guesses?
My thoughts; Innar mage should just fall and die😂😂 cos Ahlam has suffered enough abeg, she can't deal with this right now
Let me know your thoughts in the comments section, please
Don't forget to vote(like), comment and share
Thank you for being patient with me
Stay safe♥️
Khadijah 👑❣️