“Kenny.” She called her manager. “I’m just going to have dinner with Phillip, is that okay with you?”
“Phoebs. Come here!” Kendall said. “We need to discuss something.”
“Yes?” Phoebe asked. “What’s the matter?”
“Our conversation a while ago, are we continuing with that?” He asked her. “Have you talked to Phillip’s manager and publicist?”
“Is PP in the know already?” She asked them. “Coz he asked me to have dinner with him.”
“Go ahead, Jay. I’m taking care of it.” Phoebe answered.
“Oh so he knows.”
She got frustrated. She thought he asked her because he really wanted to be with her but apparently, it was all just for publicity purposes.
“Have fun. Put on a good show! We need this to be big.” Kendall said. “Jay, this is a show not reality, okay?”
“Yup! I know.”
“You better.”
She had to drag herself back to Phillip. After her conversation with Kendall and Phoebe, she did not feel like eating dinner with him anymore. What a user. They both needed each other though, so she had no choice but to act the part.
Phillip tried to ease the tension by telling jokes but she was not having any of it. She knew his intentions. This was part of the game so she played along.
“You ready?” He asked.
The hell I am. “As long as you are.” She replied. She tried to be as sweet as possible.
His hands were big and strong. She loved the texture too. But she felt sick to her stomach because she knew they were both just faking the emotions. Why can there never be anything real between them? Why can’t they just be together?
As expected, a huge crowd of paparazzi was waiting for them to exit. The flashing lights blinded her but Phillip was quick to hold her and help her escape the maddening sounds of cameras flashing and men shouting.
He led her to his car. His old Ford was gone; he was now driving a shiny chrome-colored BMW. She was surprised.
“Nice car.” She said.
“It was a gift from my record label. Nice, huh?” Phillip said, smiling.
“Yeah, and it suits you too. The car is sexy!” She was not lying, it really suited him. What a way to step up his game. And celebrity profile.
“Sexy?” He raised an eyebrow. “Like me?”
As if! “Definitely like you, cutie.” She replied. She smiled sweetly.
Phillip laughed and put his arm around her shoulder. “Get in already will ya? The paps will start hounding us again!”
They drove away immediately from the hotel parking. Phillip went through a secret exit so they weren’t spotted by the paparazzi.
“Alone at last.” Phillip said. He held her hand.
“Phillip - ” She started.
“Where do you want to eat? A lot of people should see us together.” He said.
“Yeah I’m sure you’d want that.” She said. The more people, the more attention. That was what he was tasked to do by his manager and staff anyway.
“Of course I’d want that. I want the whole world to know we’re together.” He laughed. “It’s so funny that this is happening, right? I can’t believe it.” He made a left turn.
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah it is. Crazy weird. But what can we do, right?”
“Exactly! How will we explain it to people? Especially to our mutual friends?” He asked excitedly. “I’m sure they’d be surprised!” He laughed again.
Why was he laughing? She knew this was all just a joke to him but he should have been more respectful. This setup hurt her a lot. Phillip has always been her “what if.” But that question might never be answered after all. Why should everything just be “pretend” with them?
“We don’t explain. We just do us, Phillip. They don’t need to get it, as long as we get what we’re doing.” She responded. It was true. What the hell can they do about this setup, people will never understand.
“Yeah that’s true, Jess. I’m just happy you agreed to do this.” He looked at her. “Thank you so much.”
She looked at him and tried to fake the sweetest, most innocent smile. It worked. “Of course, PP. Anything for you. You know I’m just always here.” She held his arm. “I hope this works out well for us.”
“It will, Jess. I promise I’ll make this work.” He kissed her on her forehead.
---
He was never the aggressive type. When he asked Hannah on a date, he nearly fainted. He thought he grew stronger with age, but he turned pale again when he asked her out. She even needed to force it out of him. Why was he this timid?
This time, however, he was prepared. He spent a long time researching about restaurants and dessert places around Hollywood. He wanted to show her a great time and prove to her that she made the right decision of giving him another chance. Of course, he was not sure Jessica would even agree to have dinner with him but he wished and prepared for the best. Good thing he did.
“Where are we going?” Jessica asked. She seemed tired.
He just smiled and continued driving.
“PP, where are we going?” She asked again.
“We’re almost there.” He replied.
“Wow, you prepared this time.” She joked.
“I don’t want the same outcome as before so I had to change my game plan.” He said. “Plus you did not deserve that kind of treatment, Jess. I’m really sorry.”
She smiled at him. “Stop it, PP. I might think you’re serious.”
He laughed. “Do I look like I’m joking?” He held her hand again. “You have soft hands.”
“Such a shame I can’t say the same for you.”
“Come on, I know you like my hands.” He joked.
She giggled. “Whatever.” She let go. “I do not.”
“We’re here.”
He turned right and searched for a parking slot. The place was packed.
“Oh my god.” Jessica said, surprised. “How did you get invites to the launch?”
He just smiled. Mission accomplished.
“Phillip. Oh my god. Are you being serious right now!?!” She could not believe it. “How did you get tickets to Chef Johan’s launch?
“Doesn’t matter how I got it, what matters is we’re here now.” He answered.
She hugged him tight. “I love you for bringing me! Thank you, PP!”
“Told you I was prepared.”
“This makes up for everything you’ve done wrong!” She giggled. “You have no idea how happy I am right now!” She was now pulling and pushing him back and forth. “How did you know? I was contacting everyone for an invite!”
He just smiled. “I just know. I hope you’re hungry.”
“I AM NOW!” Jessica shouted. “I AM SO HUNGRY!”
---
A large group of women welcomed them at the entrance of the new restaurant. A red carpet was laid out and people from the media were going crazy over the VIP invitees walking inside the venue.
“Baby Jay!” A voice called out. She immediately knew who it was.
“Momma!” She responded quickly. It was Beyoncé.
“Hey boo! I’m so glad to see you here, an invite to Chef Johan is difficult to get. I’m happy you got one. We were just lucky to be given the last minute!” She said excitedly.
“Actually I did not know I was going to be attending, momma. I was just dragged along.”
“Dragged along? You?” She sounded confused.
“Yeah, Phillip surprised me. I thought we were just going to have a casual dinner. Just look at me! I feel underdressed!” She said.
She suddenly felt embarrassed. Beyoncé was wearing a beautiful long golden gown with a huge slit on the side. And she was just wearing a cute top and leggings! Good thing she was in heels.
“Everyone is wearing casual to semi-formal. I’m the one who is overdressed. Look at my husband, wearing his usual white cotton shirt. Honestly, it’s like he’s not even trying anymore!” She complained.
“Don’t worry, momma. Jay-Z has always rocked that style. You look gorj!”
“Thanks baby. Anyway, it’s sweet that Phillip brought you along. Now I approve of the boy!” She winked. “Look, our men are even getting along. “ She pointed at Phillip and Jay-Z, who were involved in a deep conversation beside the salad bar. “That’s a good sign! Be sure to sit on our table, okay?”
“We will.”
She stared at Phillip. He looked cute with his button down polo and navy blue pants. He was really holding his own in terms of fashion now. The way he talked to Jay-Z was very casual, as if they had known each other for ages. She was proud to be his date for the evening. She decided to flirt with him without any ill feelings. They were pretending to date anyway, so might as well enjoy the thrill. She approached them.
“Hey Jay-Z!” She said.
“Hey Jay! Wuz hap’nin’?” Jay-Z greeted.
“Nothing really, just enjoying the night. I’m excited for the food!”
“So am I! Aren’t we all waiting for that?”
“We sure are. Hey, poppa! Mind if I have my man back already?” She said teasingly. She wrapped her hands around Phillip’s arms.
“He’s all yours! Enjoy the night, kids! Now where is my wife?” He asked as he walked away.
Phillip took out her hands from his arms and held one with his. “This will be a great evening.”
“It sure it will. I’m glad I’m spending it with you, PP.” She said. “But you could’ve informed me beforehand though so I could’ve changed into a more appropriate outfit.”
“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing? I think you look stunning.” He kissed her forehead. “You always look beautiful.”
Wow, Phillip was really flirting back. She never expected him to be this good of an actor. A little flirting wouldn’t hurt, would it? They were both enjoying this, she was sure. Kendall and Robert would be proud. They were very believable.
“Phillip, Jessica, pose for the camera!” A man shouted.
Phillip nodded then grabbed her on her waist. He was smiling from ear to ear. There was still that familiar touch, classic Phillip Phillips. She felt a sudden shock travel deep down her body. Behave, Jessica. Freakin’ behave.
She had to breathe hard to regain control of her body. It suddenly felt hot in the venue. She caught Phillip’s eyes, he was signaling for her to smile. She obliged. As they posed for the cameras, he felt his fingers play on her waist. It was unbearable! Every touch made her body unstable. It felt sinfully good.
Her thoughts were going further than she expected. Not good.
Phillip accompanied her to their table. His hands were still stuck around her waist. It was killing her, it was the excruciating feeling of wanting and despising at the same time. What was he doing to her?
“Jessica,” he whispered in her ear, “I love holding you.”
His breath sent another round of shivers down her veins. His lips were a millimeter away from her ears. She wanted him to whisper more then travel down for his lips to touch hers. She was going crazy! This was all just supposed to be an act but her body is rebelling, it was still vulnerable around his presence. She wanted Phillip. Bad.
However, she did not want to surrender. Her mind was still superior to her body, to her heart. She sat down in silence. She did not respond to him. If this was just role-playing to him then so be it. Two can play this game. She was stronger now and tonight was the best way to prove it to everyone… even to herself.
---
He stared at her the whole time they were eating. He examined every detail of her face, of her body, her simple gestures, the way she looked away when his stares were starting to overwhelm her… he was noticing everything about her now. She was perfect. Why didn’t he realize this before?
He should have realized this four years ago, if he did, then who knows where they could have been now? Would they be married? Would they have had children by now? Why was getting he getting this serious? He had to stop thinking.
“So,” Beyoncé interrupted his thoughts, “how long have you two been going out? I’ve been dying to ask!”
“It’s true. She really wants to know.” Jay-Z added.
“It’s a bit complicated, momma.” Jessica answered.
“I’m sure it is! I’ve read a million things about the two of you.” She said excitedly.
“Well, Phillip can’t you explain?” Jessica asked.
“What?” He asked back.
Jessica simply nodded.
“Well, it is complicated, you see,” he started, “we can’t really call it anything right now because we still need to discuss where we stand right now? What we are right now? Am I right? I’m sorry I think I’m mumbling. I’m getting embarrassed.”
Jay smiled but he noticed her roll her eyes a bit.
“You’re so cute, Phillip! Well, bringing her along for Chef Johan’s dinner launch means you’re serious about her if you ask me! Come on, boy! Man up!” Beyoncé teased.
The rest of the evening went by smoothly with the four of them joking around and discussing heavy issues that revolved around the music industry. His three companions belonged to the same genre so he gathered a lot of information about the on-goings in the Hip-Hop/R&B world. He, in turn, explained to them how southern rock functions. It was a good conversation; he enjoyed talking to musicians so much. He was intellectually and musically satisfied.
The lights suddenly went off. There were shrieks and screams. He felt Jessica’s hands grip his heavily. He wrapped his arm around her.
“What is going on?” Jessica said.
“I’m not sure.” He replied.
Before panic overwhelmed the whole floor, dancers wearing glow in the dark paint suddenly showed up. The shrieks turned into applause and cheers. It was part of a production number after all.
He did not put down his arms. He felt her snuggle beside him and rest her head on his shoulders. It was a good moment. He kissed her forehead, then played with her hair. From his peripheral view, he saw her lips form a smile.
The place was still dim because of the performance. They were now holding hands, twirling their fingers with each other’s. His other arm was still resting around her shoulders. She was so close to him now, he could smell her hair and feel her breath on his neck. He felt something different, something he has not felt in many years…
Jessica looked at him. Her gaze was heavy, as if trying to say something… the place was noisy, they both knew they wouldn’t be able to talk inside. She held his hand and stood up. He followed her lead.
He followed her to the balcony. She waited for him to reach her then she faced him. “What is this, Phillip?”
He held her hand. “What do you mean?”
“THIS! What is this?”
“Jessica, what’s wrong?” Don’t tell me she’s switching moods again.
“I don’t understand you anymore.”
“Jess, what did I do?” He was genuinely confused.
“You bring me to this dinner launch, you cuddle with me, you act all prince-like around me… I don’t get it.” She raised her arms in the air. “What’s up?”
“Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? How I’m supposed to be?”
She shook her head. “I guess so.” She turned her back on him. “I keep forgetting. It just seems too real, you know. I’m sorry.”
“Huh? What are you talking about, Jess?” He embraced her from behind. “This feels nice, right? I’m enjoying every minute with you.”
She was unresponsive.
“Jessica, what do you want me to do? I’m trying to open up to you. Why won’t you let me?” He was still wrapped around her. “Please.”
“I don’t want to, PP. It will just hurt.”
“I won’t hurt you, Jess.”
“It already hurts now.”
“Face me.”
“No.”
“Face me, Jessica.”
“No!”
“Face me. Please.”
She finally turned around. He expected tears to have fallen from her eyes with the amount of emotion she just poured out, but they were dry. They were hiding something though.
“Tell me what I did wrong.”
He held her hands once again.
“You’re doing everything right, that’s the problem. The boundaries are being blurred.” She looked down.
He traced the outline of her face with his fingers. “Why won’t you just let me make you happy?”
“What?”
His hand rested on her soft cheeks. “I want to make you happy, let me make you happy.”
She sighed. “I want you, Phillip.”
“I want you, Jess.”
He leaned towards her slowly, gently, making sure his moves were accurate. He saw her close her eyes, anticipating the inevitable. Finally, he was going to taste her sweet lips. After four years of tension, the moment has finally arrived.
The gap between them was slowly inching away. Both their lips would finally touch for the first time…
“PHILLIP! JESSICA!”
They were brought back to reality. Hard. Jessica pushed him away. They both looked for the people who shouted their names.
“Hollie! Josh!” Jessica shouted.
He was frustrated. Every moment that built to what was interrupted suddenly seemed wasted. They ruined the perfect first kiss.
The three of them hugged. Joshua’s voice reverberated around the hall. He was still boisterous as ever!
“Oh my god, girl! Did we interrupt something?” Hollie asked. “We are so sorry! We were just too excited to see you both!”
“No, of course not! We were just talking!” Jessica answered.
Yeah, sure we were.
He went near the three buddies and greeted Hollie and Joshua.
“Phillip, you look good!” Joshua praised. “You got style now I see!”
“And you look... loud.” He pointed at the colors on his jacket.
“That’s the style now in Britain. Deal with it, brother.”
He laughed. Joshua was still Joshua.
“So guys, tell us, are you really an item? It’s all over the news!” Hollie said.
“It’s a little complicated, girl.” Jessica answered.
“Pictures are pictures, and they are juicy as hell!” Joshua added.
“So why are you guys here, I thought you were in Britain.” He asked. He realized his question sounded snotty. “Not that we don’t want you here, okay? It’s just that it’s a long travel if without a purpose.”
“We are here for the reunion, you poops!” Hollie said. “You guys are going, right?”
“Reunion?” They both asked.
“Yeah. Skylar called us, she told us she and Colton were planning a reunion… OHMYGOD, boo boo!” Joshua shouted. He panicked. “We weren’t supposed to tell them!” He tried to whisper to Hollie but of course, he failed. “What will we tell Sky and Colton!?”
“Well the bubble has burst. You need to give us the deets, guys.” Jessica said. “But before that, how did you scored tickets to the launch? I heard it was extremely difficult.”
“Jay, Jay, Jay. How ignorant of you.” Joshua said. “You think we’re small time artists in Britain? Hello.”
“Uh, we’re not. We’re really big.” Hollie joked.
“Uh yeah. Chef Johan personally invited us to attend his U.S. launch tonight. So aside from the reunion we are here for this event, we are VVIP guests.”
“You heard it, not a mistake. VVIP. Yes, double V for very, very!” Hollie added.
The four of them burst out laughing. It was amazing how distance and time did not at all create a gap in their friendship. They could still laugh at the smallest things, at the most minor jokes. They definitely needed a reunion.
They could tell the guys about their relationship there as well. It would be perfect.
“Let’s all go inside, shall we? It’s starting to rain.” Joshua said.
Josh and Hollie were the first ones to walk inside the restaurant.
He stopped Jessica. “Wait, so, what now? That’s it?”
“What?” She asked.
“You’re just gonna leave me hanging? Just like that, Jess?”
She smiled. “I’m not that easy you know. You gotta earn your moment again, Mr. Phillips.”
He couldn’t suppress a frustrated smile. “What, but that was already perfect!”
“Not perfect enough.” She smiled innocently. “Better luck next time.”
She quickly ran towards Joshua and Hollie. He was left alone.
Damn it.