Summary: Inspired by an actual scrapped B-Plot from Gravity Falls, Grunkle Stan tries to teach Wendy the art of being a small time crook. But when she takes things too far, both of them learn a valuable lesson.
"Wendy, we gotta talk," said Stan as he gestured her to come into his office.
Wendy walked in nervously as she put her hands in her pocket.
"Have a seat," he said.
"Uh, is everything okay Mr. Pines?" she asked.
"I'll cut to the chase. I saw you on my surveillance system, shoplifting a few chocolate bars...and a snow globe from the giftshop."
Wendy's heart sank. She knew it looked bad on her side, but she had a legitimate reason to do it. Earlier in the day she had gotten into a heated argument with her dad, Manly Dan. He was mad at her for constantly getting into trouble and hanging out with friends who he felt were bad influences on her. He had threatened to ground her if she got into trouble again. In her frustration over it, she grabbed those items from the gift shop to try and take her mind off of it. Now she felt that her job was in jeopardy too.
She put her head down in shame, "I'm so sorry Mr. Pines. I know...I'm in a boat load of trouble. Are...are you gonna fire me?"
"Far from it," he replied.
Wendy looked up.
"You've got a real gift there, Corduroy. You're the best thief I've ever seen!"
What?" she said, confused.
"The way you effortlessly snatched those chocolate bars off the shelf and the way you took that snow globe. It takes a seasoned thief like me to see one in the making."
"Uh...thank you?"
"Think about it, Wendy. You and me! I've been waiting my whole life to discover someone who's as good a pickpocket as I am."
"Really?"
"Really! You and me, we could go out there and...knock down a bank or something."
Wendy still had some doubts, but it made her feel proud to hear someone actually acknowledging her talents instead of being mad at her."
"Really, Mr. Pines?"
"Not yet," said Stan, "You're not ready...yet."
Stan took Wendy out into town to prepare her and teach her how to be a small-time crook. The two start off with simple things like knocking over hot dog carts and setting off car alarms. Soon though, as Wendy got better and better, Stan upped the antics. They then began minor shoplifting. A bag of potato chips here, a candy bar there, Stan even managed to steal two Brolex watches (which would later turn out to be fakes). By that afternoon, the two had racked up a considerable amount of crimes.
"I gotta admit Mr. Pines," said Wendy, "I had my doubts at first, but this was actually pretty fun."
"See," said Stan, "You have a real gift when it comes to thievery. Reminds me of me when I was your age."
Wendy laughed, "Must've been a long time ago."
Stan rolled his eyes.
"You know Mr. Pines; this stuff is pretty small time compared to the things you've done."
"You gotta start off small and work your way to the big jobs, Wendy."
"I feel like we could do a big job," she said, "And I got just the idea. Tonight! You and me. We're gonna steal the diamond from the Gravity Falls History Museum!"
Stan spit out his drink, "What?!"
"Think about it," said Wendy, "We could split it into pieces and wear it around our necks...we'd look like ballers!"
Stan looked on at his protégé, surprised, "Woah, you're starting to scare me a little bit Wendy. Even I've never stolen a diamond before. Are you crazy? Also, isn't that a bit cliché?"
"Yeah, I'm crazy!" yelled Wendy, "And screw being cliché! I know you'd do it if you had the chance! What do you say Stan, do you wanna do it?
"Let's do it!" he yelled.
----
That night, Wendy and Stan pulled up to the Gravity Falls History Museum and got ready. First, Wendy, who had borrowed Mabel's grappling hook, fired it at the window they planned to enter from. Then she pulled herself up into it. Then helped Stan up.
"Next time, you climb up first and pull me up," said Wendy.
"Probably," said Stan, "Ahhh my back."
"Don't tell me you threw your back out again?"
"I...I think I did, while climbing through that window."
"Great, can this night go anymore wrong!" yelled Wendy.
"Hey, who's there!" yelled a voice.
"Great, security," said Wendy.
"Wendy, you gotta steal that diamond! I'll stall the guard somehow," said Stan.
"Nice idea," she replied, "Or I could just do this."
Wendy touched one of the exhibits which triggered an alarm.
"See you on the other side Stan."
Stan watched as Wendy raced through the halls, dodging exhibits and even knocking two guards down.
"Wendy!" yelled Stan.
Wendy managed to make it to the room the diamond was in. Her distraction had worked, as all the guards ran past her towards where Stan was. She crept up to the diamond, and gently lifted it off its display.
"Success," she said.
At that moment, Wendy felt a hand grab her shoulder. She looked up to see another security guard looking down at her.
"Miss Corduroy," he said in a deep voice, "Come with me."
The next thing Wendy knew, she was sitting in a cell at the Gravity Falls police station.
Sherriff Blubs approached her, "I let you off with a warning when you stole my patrol car. I had hoped you'd learn your lesson," he said, "Looks like you did the exact opposite."
Wendy had no words to fight back with. She had wound up in here on her own terms.
"Well, given the severity of your crimes this time and given you're not eighteen...despite the fake ID's in your pockets saying otherwise...I'm afraid we'll have to call your dad up in the morning to come by and talk this over with us."
"My dad!" she yelled, "Please, you can't tell him I got arrested! He'll kill me!"
"Rules, are rules Wendy," said Blubs, "If you can't handle the consequences, then don't break the rules in the first place."
Blubs walked over to his office, leaving a very distraught Wendy alone. She had let herself get carried away and now it had caught up to her. She feared what lay ahead. She was scared at how mad her father would be about this. What would her consequences be? Would she ever be allowed to see her friends again? Would anyone ever trust her again?
It was times like this that made her miss her mother. The one person in her life who had truly been there for her through it all. She had felt a strong connection to her in the time she knew her. But those days were long gone. She was now all alone. Alone and left to face whatever lay ahead on her own.
Wendy's contemplations were cut short as Blubs returned. This time, Stan was with him.
"Alright Wendy, you're free to go," he said as he opened her cell.
"What?" asked Wendy.
"Yeah, you heard me. You can go."
Wendy walked out of the cell and watched as Blubs escorted Stan into it. Before she could speak, Blubs turned around.
"And, we won't be calling your dad about this anymore. You are, incredibly lucky young lady."
Once Blubs walked away, Wendy turned to Stan.
"Uh, what just happened?" she asked.
"Simple, I took the blame," said Stan.
"What?"
"Yeah. I managed to get out of the museum before the cops caught me. I saw them haul you away so I knew I had to get you. So, I took the blame for the crime. I told them that I was the one who planned to steal the diamond and got you caught up in this. They then took one look at my record and bought the whole story. They also erased this off your record so you don't have to worry about your dad finding out you almost robbed a diamond from a museum."
Wendy was shocked and also speechless. Stan had straight up sacrificed his freedom for her.
"But...but why did you do that for me?" she asked, "You're gonna have to spend the next few days here. Why didn't you just not bail me out."
Stan sighed, Well, firstly, the bail on you was like five hundred dollars. I wasn't ready to pay that much and it would still have been on your record. And secondly, I realized...I'm old. I've already had a life. And it's a life in which I've made many mistakes which I'm not proud of. Getting you involved into this is one of them. Wendy, you still have a life ahead of you. Don't waste it by making the same mistakes I did. Make the choice to not be an idiot like me."
Wendy began to tear up slightly upon hearing that. In a way, it was the first form of moral and motivational support she had heard ever since she lost her mother.
"Wow...thanks Mr. Pines. That...that really means a lot to me."
Stan reached out through the cell bars and gave Wendy a pat on her shoulders.
"You've got a real gift Wendy. Those quick fingers of yours. Don't use them for stealing. Maybe...learn to play an instrument or something. Use them for something that's good...and also legal, or else you'll end up in here like me."
"I will. Thanks Mr. Pines."
"Eh, don't sweat it kid. Now get out of here. You kids shouldn't be in a police station for this long unless it's for one of those school trips or something."
As Wendy walked out, she turned back one more time, "You sure you'll be okay in here?"
"Trust me, I've been to worse prisons in other countries," said Stan, "Compared to them this is like a five-star hotel. But tell Dipper and Mabel to swing by here in the morning with my "bail money," okay?"
Wendy nodded as she left the police station, feeling like a changed person. It was time for her to use her skills for something more and something better than stealing. The world was waiting for her. All she needed to do now was find her place within it.
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