"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark;
the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."
<< Robbing Graves and Going to Therapy >>
The trip to the cemetery was quiet, any conversation attempted would immediately die out. Neither Dean nor Dakota felt much like talking, Dean was drowning in the thoughts of losing his daughter. Dakota felt suffocated by her self doubts, they always decided to creep in when she wasn't expecting them.
She constantly felt like she was being jerked back and forth by her own insecurities. She wants to be a hunter, to be like her dad, but she was scared by everything it seemed like. Without Cas there, she didn't know what to do anymore.
By the time the three hunters and Nephilim made it to the cemetery, all of Dakota's nails were bitten down to the beds.
Today was a bad day for her, she didn't feel like herself. She just felt off.
Dakota follows after her dad, each of them carrying a lantern. Sam mutters something to Jack quietly, the Nephilim nods in reply and sends Dakota a small smile. Dean catches a look and his own expression turns sour.
"All right, well, you said you wanted to help, so, uh...dig." Dean orders, throwing the shovel to Jack who catches it swiftly. Dakota sighs softly at her dad's attitude.
Dean storms off with Sam following after, but Dakota decides to stick by Jack--grabbing the spare shovel and helping him.
"Dean, what's up with all the orders?" Sam hisses, Jack and Dakota glance at each other. "You're starting to sound like dad."
"That a bad thing?" Dean questions, Dakota can't help but feel slightly disappointed. When she was younger, Dean would constantly tell her he didn't want to end up like John.
"I'm just saying his--his drill sergeant act with you and Dakota, but it didn't work with me."
Dakota freezes, straightening her posture and glaring at Sam. She followed John's orders, but she wasn't a mindless soldier, not like Sam's making her out to be.
She misses whatever Sam says next, setting her shoulders and returning to digging.
"Look, you wanted the kid here, he's here. All right?" Dean drawls out, glancing at Jack and Dakota. "But I'm not gonna hold his hand and tuck him in at night. Pass. I'm not gonna be his mother, and neither are you."
That sentence grabs Jack's attention, but not in the way Dakota would expect it to.
"Dean's your dad, right?" He asks, making sure he was following along.
"Yeah." Dakota smiles, nodding her head and tossing a glance over her shoulder at Dean, he was watching them dig with a blank expression.
"Where's your mother?" Jack questions, he looks around like he's expecting Dakota's mom to walk out and say hello.
"Oh...uh, she's not here." Dakota shrugs, pushing her shovel into the ground harshly.
"Oh, so she's at the Bunker?"
"No, she left my dad and I when I was born." Dakota says indifferently, her expression turning blank.
Luckily, Jack took the hint and returned his attention back to shoveling. Dakota glances at him and sees his troubled expression. She sighs and racks her brain for something that would cheer him up, not liking the sadness in his eyes. There was one thing that Sam would always do to make Dakota smile.
"What do you call a pile of cats?" Dakota drawls out, shoveling another pile of dirt that just slides back into the hole.
"What?" Jack asks, his mouth gapes open slightly in confusion.
"What do you call a pile of cats?" She repeats, smirking slightly.
"I...I don't know." Jack's brow furrows.
"A meow-ntain." She finishes, laughing at the joke.
Jack couldn't help laugh at it, their laughter rings out in the silent cemetery--giving the place such an eery feeling.
"Hey! We're digging graves, not telling crappy jokes and flirting!" Dean snaps, but his words only make the two laugh harder--but quieter this time.
Jack pulls off his jacket as he begins to sweat, Dakota freezes and her eyes widen. She was grateful for the darkness covering her reddening cheeks. She quickly shovels more dirt.
"What's a bear with no teeth called?" Dakota mumbles, Jack glances at her but ultimately continues his work, quirking an eyebrow to urge her to continue. "A gummy bear."
Dakota pauses and pulls off her sweatshirt, sweating too much to be comfortable.
"Enough with the undressing! It's not needed!" Dean barks out, his eyes narrow in irritation.
"You wanna do this, old man!" Dakota retorts, matching his annoyance.
Jack's shovel his something hard, he looks at Dakota with confusion.
"Well, looks like we found it for you!" Dakota calls out, her and Jack work on uncovering the casket.
"Kota." Dean says, holding his hand out to help her out.
Dean easily pulls Dakota out of the grave by her hands. Jack cracks the casket open, coughing from the horrid smell that comes out.
"Should've warned you about that, sorry." Dakota apologizes sheepishly.
"All right, I guess we're back to ghost." Dean sighs, Dakota hums and nods.
"Yeah." Sam agrees, but notices Jack's confused expression. "So a body rules out revenant."
"I don't get it." Dakota groans out, as Dean gets lighter fluid.
"I mean, a ghost that doesn't show up on EMF?" Sam continues, Dakota reaches out and helps Jack out of the whole. "Doesn't make any sense."
"Yeah, well, what does these days?" Dean muses as he pours salt onto the body, Dakota picks up the lighter fluid and starts to add some to the grave. "You know, I mean--we've got portals to apocalyptic worlds. We've got, uh, shape-shifting demons. Dealing with a whole new set of tiddlywinks."
"Your way with words just fascinates me." Dakota teases with a smile.
"I say we just...do what we do." Dean finishes, smirking over at Dakota. "You're damn right it does."
Dakota chuckles at him, nudging him with her shoulder.
"My mother--could she be a ghost? Dakota's too?"
"Jack, my mother isn't dead." Dakota states, her brow pinched together in confusion. "And no, we burned her body."
"That's right, and what gets burned...stays dead." Dean says as he tosses in a row of matches.
They all watch the body burn for bit, waiting until the flames die down. Dakota claps, the sound echoing throughout the empty cemetery.
"Alright, well, I'm hungry and tired, so I say we head out. Good days work." She tells them, patting Sam on the shoulder before walking to the Impala.
Dean casts a look over to his brother, who gives him a nod towards Dakota. The older Winchester presses his lips and turns to follow his daughter.
"Hey, Kota, wait up." Dean calls out, Dakota pauses and waits for him to catch up.
Sam waits until their out of ear shot before turning to Jack, the Nephilim looks up at him in confusion.
"How'd you know about Dakota's mom?" Sam questions, Jack blinks a couple times, baffled by his words.
"I asked about her." He answers slowly.
Sam's eyes widen briefly, shocked that Dakota would mention Marley in a causal conversation. Dakota, for the most part, avoids ever bringing Marley up--she refuses to acknowledge the woman.
"And she told you?"
"Dakota said that she wasn't around, that she left her and Dean."
"Sammy! If you make me wait any longer for food, I'm going to eat your secret stash!" Dakota threatens, shouting from her place against the Impala.
"Wait, Sam has a secret stash of food?" Dean questions, glancing over at his daughter.
Dakota scoffs, laughing slightly. "Hell yeah he does, when we get home--I'll show you."
Dean holds up his fist, to which Dakota bumps her against. Both of them sharing a smile.
In the morning, Sam was called about another victim, which leads to Jack and Dakota sitting in the back of the Impala. Sam and Dean were talking to the cops about what happened.
"I don't know if I ever told you this, Jack, but I'm sorry that you didn't get to meet your mom. She was a really great woman." Dakota tells him softly, glancing over at him.
"I did get to meet her, in a way at least." Jack explains, he goes on to tell about how it felt when he channeled Kelly.
"She would be proud of you." Dakota informs him, her voice holding the same soft tone it always seemed to have with him. "You're going against every stereotype and choosing your path."
"I don't know what to do." Jack says quietly.
"My dad would kick my ass if he heard me say this," Dakota whispers to herself, she shifts so she's facing Jack. "Jack, I know that Sammy and my dad are pushing you to do and act a certain way, but you're the only one who get's to choose who you are and what you do."
"I don't want to be evil, I've heard stories...about my father, Lucifer, and I don't want to be like him." Jack admits, his tone growing gentle.
"You aren't, Jack, there's nothing about you that's like Lucifer. Trust me, Lucifer is evil and sadistic, he doesn't care about people--you're not like that, I've seen it." Dakota places her hand on Jack's shoulder.
Dean narrows his eyes when he sees how close Dakota and Jack are. He growls under his breath and storm over to the Impala, hitting his hand against the roof, Dakota jumps and tears herself away from Jack.
"Dad! Why the hell would you do that!?" Dakota complains, placing her hand on her chest and breathing.
"Another ghost, no EMF." Dean reveals tersely, raising a brow at Dakota. She winces at his expression and scoots further away from Jack meekly.
"What're we thinkin'?" Dakota asks, pressing her lips together with a pinched brow.
"So far? Nothing. We're gonna check for any connections between the vics, but we got nothing." Dean updates, losing the hard expression.
"We going to the police station?" She questions, leaning forward and placing her elbows on the back of the front seat, cocking her head to the side.
Dean blinks, surprised by Dakota displaying Castiel's mannerisms. He shakes his head to himself, clearing it of his depressed thoughts.
"Uh, yeah, we're heading there in a bit." Dean scratches the back of his head.
"You okay, dad?" Dakota presses softly, reaching out and catching Dean's hand.
"Yeah, I'm good." Dean assures, forcing a brief smile, squeezing her head and climbing into the Impala.
Dakota stares at him for a few seconds before accepting his words, leaning back in her seat with her arms crossed over her chest. They wait for a couple minutes before Sam gets in, the car is filled with silence as they head over to the precinct.
<><><><><><><><><><><>
Dakota curls up in the backseat of the Impala, having finally fallen asleep as they wait outside the police station for Sam. Dean leans against the Impala, he sent Jack to get them some food from the truck across the street.
"Where's Jack and Kota?" Sam asks Dean as he walks over with the files.
"Kid's across the street. Food run. Dakota's asleep." Dean answers, scrolling through his phone after he gestures to Dakota.
Sam looks across the street, Jack waiting patiently yet awkwardly in the food line.
"Dean, he's not our intern." Sam spits at his brother. "I asked you to keep an eye on him."
"I can see him." Dean informs. "Besides he's not my responsibility, Dakota is. He keeps staring at me."
"Yes, he wants you to like him." Sam explains, his tone short and annoyed. "All right, whatever. Here, take a look."
"Wait." Dean holds on a hand.
He goes around to the back of the car, leaning in through the window and shaking Dakota's shoulder. Dakota hums and cracks an eye open, peering at Dean through her lashes.
"Hey, kiddo." Dean says softly, a loving smile curling at his lips. "Sammy found something."
"Mmkay." Dakota mumbles, slowly climbing out of the Impala and following Dean.
"All right, so what is this? Her diary?" Dean questions, taking the files into his hands and flipping through them, Dakota watching over his shoulder.
"It's a grief journal." Sam corrects. "Cops found on at the first crime scene also. Wes and Gloria were both seeing the same grief counselor--Mia Vallens. And apparently, she gives homework."
"Hmm. Shrinks. Snake oil for the mind." Dean muses, quirking an eyebrow.
"Or how healthy people deal." Sam states.
Dakota couldn't help the scoff that leaves her lips. A bitter smirk covering her lips.
"That so?" She raises an eyebrow at Sam, almost challenging him to argue with her.
"All right, let's see how good, uh, Gloria was dealing." Dean cuts in, glancing at Dakota--who glares at Sam through narrowed eyes. "Here you go. 'And now that I've achieved catharsis, I can truly see the program works'. 'The program'? C'mon, man."
"It sounds like brainwashing. I mean, she's one Kool-Aid away from Jonestown." Dakota snarks.
Dean sighs as he watch Sam look off to the side, ignoring Dakota's words.
"What'd Wes' "journal" say?" Dean questions, flipping through more of Gloria's entries.
"More of the same." Sam admits. "Um, he was really into the whole catharsis thing."
"Yeah, sure. Who wouldn't be?" Dean asks sarcastically, Dakota chuckles. "I mean, it's like another word for 'happy ending'."
Dean and Dakota hold the same believe about therapists, thinking that they're just people who are paid to tell us what we want to hear. They believe that shrinks are useless.
"Hi, J." Dakota greets as the Nephilim walks over to them.
"What took you so long?" Dean raises his eyebrow, unknowingly pulling out his 'dad' look. Sam gives him a dead-face, pressing his lips together.
"The man in front of me wanted extra kraut, but the hot dog man didn't have any." Jack explains, holding the tray out to Dakota so she could grab her drink. "He was really angry."
Dean, taking a large bite of his hot dog, glances at Jack. "Mmm. That's a cool story." He deadpans, earning a sharp elbow in the side from Dakota.
"How I come from you...just escapes my understanding." Dakota drawls, watching Dean spit out some of the wrapper that stuck to his lip. She proceeds to take a giant bite from her hot dog.
"Yeah, it really shouldn't." Sam states, amusement lined in his eyes. "You're exactly like him."
Dean smirks at her. "So let's say that Hannibal chick is, um, a medium, right?" Sam nods in agreement, urging Dean to continue. "She's talkin' to spirits, she's pissing them off somehow. A ghost shows up, notches a kill, and takes off."
"Yeah, but then, what?" Dakota's brow furrows as she questions Dean's explanation. "Once it's gone, no EMF?"
"This woman can talk to ghosts?" Jack asks as Dean shrugs to Dakota's question.
"If she's the real deal, mediums can do all kinds of freaky crap." Dean answers him, his mouth full of food.
"All right, say you're right. Can't go in as FBI, not with doctor/patient confidentiality." Sam informs.
"All right. So we have to go in as something else." Dean states.
<><><><><><><><><><><>
Dean parks in front of the family therapy office. They each get out, some more reluctant than others.
"This is a dumb idea." Dean and Dakota hiss at the same time.
Sam sighs at their attitude. "Just follow my lead."
"Yeah, doctor's gonna eat our liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti." Dean snarks.
"Wait, why do we only have one liver among us? Yours already shot?" Dakota questions sarcastically.
Dakota grabs Jack's hand when he starts to fall behind, looking at everything around him.
"Hello." A customer says as he files out of the door, Dean and Sam part as the man walks between them.
The Winchesters each ignore the guy, knowing he wasn't really wanting to start a conversation. Although, Jack didn't understand that, so he stops--which causes Dakota to pause.
"Hello." Jack greets, holding up his free hand in a wave.
The guy forces a polite smile, all the Winchesters staring at Jack oddly. Dakota finally pulls him away from the man, mumbling a 'c'mon' to Jack as they catch up with her family.
Dean opens the door, ushering everyone in, pulling Dakota's hand from Jack's swiftly in the process.
"Hello?" Sam calls out.
"Can I help you?" The receptionist questions.
"Yeah, we're, uh...hoping to see the doctor." Sam drawls out, exchanging looks with both Dean and Dakota.
"Oh, I'm sorry." The receptionist apologizes. "You caught us right at the end of our day. Maybe tomorrow."
"No, today's good." Dean states.
"Like right now." Dakota continues, sharing the same annoyance as her dad.
"They--uh, we just need a moment of her time." Sam says awkwardly, embarrassed by his family's attitude.
"You've lost someone recently?" A voice questions behind them, they each quickly turn around.
a woman stands on the staircase, analyzing the Winchesters and Jack closely.
"No."
"I don't see how that's your business."
"My mother."
Dean and Dakota glance at Jack as the three of them speak at the same time. Dakota being more defensively than Dean's abrupt denial.
"Um, our mother." Sam says, gesturing to himself, Jack, and Dean. "We're having a difficult time."
The woman gives them a sad smile, walking up and shaking Dean's hand. "Mia Vallens." She introduces.
"Hi. Dean."
"That's our little brother Jack, and I'm Sam." Sam smiles.
Mia glances questioning at Dakota, who just stares blankly.
"This is my daughter, Dakota." Dean forces out unwillingly.
"I see. Please, this way." Mia states.
Sam and Dakota follow Mia, but Dean places his hand on Jack's shoulder to keep him behind.
"Listen, Mr. Spock, you speak when I tell you to speak, okay?" Dean orders.
"Yes." Jack answers slowly.
"Good." Dean walks away, following after his daughter.
Mia shows them to a white room with white couches. Dakota instantly hates the room, it was too bland and white for her taste.
"Your mother--she recently passed?" Mia asks Sam, him being the first one to walk in after MIa.
"Uh, yeah." Sam agrees awkwardly.
Dean and Dakota exchange a look, Dean telling Jack to shut the door behind him.
"Mm. Most of the people I see are in the same boat." Mia informs. "No warning, no goodbye, no closure."
Dakota sits in between Sam and Dean, Jack sitting in the chair across from them.
"Right, yeah. Pretty much the same for us." Sam takes over answering, knowing that Dean and Dakota weren't going to. "So how does this usually work? You know, with your patients?"
"Usually, they just start talking about the person they've lost." Mia responds.
"All right, well, mom was great, now she's dead." Dean sums up.
"What's the deal with catharsis?" Dakota chimes in, the same irritation in her voice as Dean.
"I'm sorry?" Mia asks, not understanding.
"Uh, we--we were wondering what that is." Sam tries to fix the situation. "Um, a patient of yours, Gloria Simon, she referred us. She's a family friend." He shoots a scolding look to Dakota, who simply shrugs.
"I don't talk about my patients," Mia informs, "and Gloria wasn't supposed to talk about me."
"Sure. Um, got it." Sam drawls awkwardly. "But your process--"
"My program is a range of things." Mia states. "Talk therapy, meditation. You ever journal?"
"Our dad did." Sam admits.
"Dean? Dakota? You journal?" Mia questions, noticing the two Winchesters looking uninterested.
"Oh, sure." Dakota smiles sarcastically.
"Ever since I was a little girl." Dean's voice is dripping with similar sarcasm.
"You two think this shrink stuff is a load of crap. Am I right?"
Dean and Dakota both smile bitterly at the woman, holding the same expression as each other. Sam looks between them, almost startled by how similar they look in that moment.
"How'd you guess?" The two ask at the same time.
"Then why are you here?" Mia questions them.
"Because, uh, we all agreed we'd give it a shot, right?" Sam once again steps in, elbow Dakota sharply while giving Dean a look.
Jack nods in agreement before looking between Dakota and Dean.
"Right?" Sam presses.
Dean and Dakota look up at Sam. They glance at Mia, Dean raises his eyebrows while shrugging, Dakota simply hums and looks down at her feet.
"My brother, uh, he's not processing his grief. Dakota learned from him." Sam explains, Dean looks offended by Sam's assumption about Dakota.
"Really?" Dean hisses, chuckling sharply. "No, I'm...I'm good, actually. With death, closure, whole freakin' bottle of Jack."
"Are you?" Sam questions, his eyes red and slightly teary.
"Yeah." Dean snaps. "Because I know that mom's dead, and I know that she's not coming back." Dean stares his brother down, forcing him to hear his words.
Dakota sucks in a sharp breath, playing with her fingers, but choosing to stay quiet.
"Okay, I hear what you're saying. I just wish..."
"You wish he'd be more open to therapy?" Mia finishes.
"Sure. Exactly." Sam agrees.
"All right, this is a safe place, right, doc?" Dean leans forward, Mia gestures for him to continue. "Okay. My brother's delusional."
"Dean." Sam snaps.
"You said you wanted to give this a shot, right? Here we go." Dean spits out. "He won't even admit that mom's dead. Won't even admit it."
"Stop." Sam bites.
"Because if he admits it, then it's real. If it's real, then he has to deal with it, and he can't handle that."
"Right, because this is so easy for you?" Sam questions, his eye growing more teary as he fight back tears.
"No, it's not easy." Dean scoffs.
"Yeah, but at least you had a relationship with mom." Sam shouts. "I mean, who would she always call? Who did she look to for everything?"
"Okay." Dean denies, looking away.
"You had something with her I never had!" Sam yells, Dakota shrinks away from him, pressing into Dean's side. "And now I'm just supposed to accept that I never will have it?"
Jack glances awkwardly between the two brothers. Sam stands up and storms out of the room. Dean raises his eyebrows and presses his lips together, nodding his head. Mia stares at Dean, who takes a long drink from his flask, Dakota inching away to sit back in her spot.
"Problem?" Dean asks, noticing Mia's stare.
"You just upset your brother so much, he had to leave the room. And Jack? Look at him. He's terrified of you."
"Nah. No, we're simpatico. Right, kid?" Dean says.
"We're simpatico." Jack agrees flatly.
Dean smiles and gestures toward Jack, almost like he was proving his point to Mia.
"Convincing." Mia deadpans. "Dakota, you've been quiet."
Dakota quirks an eyebrow, scoffing as she looks away. She crosses her legs and presses her lips together.
"We've been talking about your grandmother, but what about your mother?"
"Stop." Dakota snaps, glaring at Mia. "You don't what you're talking about."
Mia holds out her hand. "Why don't you tell me then?"
Dean watches several emotions flicker across Dakota's face, covered mainly by her anger.
"There's nothin' to tell." Dean answers for her, shrugging as Mia looks over to him.
"There's always a story behind a child, Dean."
Dakota cracks her neck nervously, biting her lip and clenching her fists together.
"Stop." Dakota forces out.
"You're angry." Mia points out.
"You think?" Dakota hisses.
"At your mother?"
Dakota grows quiet, fidgeting with her hands. Dean watches with a blank yet confused look. He wants to know the answer to that, but he wasn't going to push Dakota, not like Mia was doing.
"Nah. My mother's my best friend." Dakota drawls, smirking. Her attitude flipping from angry to sarcastic in a matter of seconds.
"Are you mad at your mom, Kota?" Dean asks, his tone soft.
The room is filled with tense silence, everyone waiting for Dakota to answers. Dakota plays with a loose thread from the couch, pulling at it gently and wrapping it around her finger.
"Can't really be angry at someone who's not around, you know?" Dakota finally says.
"Your mother passed away?" Mia questions.
Dakota shakes her head. "She didn't want me."
Jack's face softens as he watches Dakota, a strange feeling settles in his stomach, he didn't like seeing her sad. He felt the need to go over and comfort her, to protect her from whatever was hurting her.
Dean told her when she was little that Marley ran because she wasn't ready for a kid. Now that Dakota's older, she realized that Marley just didn't want her. She had Milo, she stayed and raised him, she just didn't want Dakota or Dean.
"How does that make you feel?" Mia asks gently.
Dakota glances at her.
"Like I wasn't good enough, feels pretty sh--"
Dean clears his throat loudly, giving Dakota a lood. Almost daring her to continue with her sentence.
"--crappy." She corrects herself sheepishly, before her face grows somber. "I wasn't good enough, but Milo was. She didn't even give me a chance, just decided I wasn't good enough for her to stick around."
"Do you still feel that way? That you're not good enough?" Mia presses gently, Dakota shifts awkwardly.
"People are still leaving, I'm always left behind, so yeah--I'm not good enough, right?"
Dean quickly opens his mouth to assure Dakota that she was good enough, but Sam bursts through the door with his gun raised.
"She's a shape-shifter!"
Hey guys!
This chapter took a couple days, mainly because I now have a job and I'm working almost every day. Also because I hit a bit of writer's block ):
Here we get to see what Dakota actually thinks about Marley leaving.
I also added a few Dakota and Jack moments.
Someone want to come up with a ship name for them?
I hope you guys have a great day!
Love, Kaz.