Sorry this isn't very funny :/
"Hey, Paul!" A familiar voice said to me. I turned to see John.
"Hey, John." I said as I put on the kettle. Wait! John‽ What the hell‽
"John? You're supposed to be dead y'know."
"Well Satan let me visit you."
"Oh you're in hell." I said I enthusiastically.
"Don't worry you're going too."
"Well fuck." I'd be lying if I said I didn't already know that.
"Don't worry it's quite nice there." He reassured.
"Why are you here, John?"
"I just wanted to visit you."
I took a deep breath. I heard the front door open. Shit I must be Nancy. I quickly shoved John into a nearby closet.
"I think I'm gonna go on a walk in the woods."
"Alright." She went upstairs.
I pulled John out of the closet and quickly went out the back door. We wandered through the woods.
"Who was that?" He asked motioning back to the house.
"Oh that was Nancy."
"What happened to Linda?"
"She died."
"Oh, sorry Paul."
"It's alright."
It was quite for a few minutes because neither of us knew what to say. I'm sure John had some motivation for coming here. I'm sure they wouldn't just let him come here for no reason.
"Paul, you're gonna die in a few minutes."
"What‽"
"Also I love you."
"Explain!"
"Well we've been friends for a long time and-" He said in a panic.
"Not that! The I'm gonna die thing!" I yelled at him on a panic.
"Oh, so Death was gonna take you this morning but I said I'd do it."
"But I have things to do!" I was panicking.
"Well you're coming with me."
"Please god no! I don't wanna die!" I was frantically running around.
"Y'know I was fucking with you when I said you're going to hell right?" He said trying to reassure me.
"I don't care I just don't wanna die!"
John was tired of listening to me whine. He grabbed me by my arm and flew upwards.
"Ow! John!" John didn't do anything.
I was dropped on a cloud. I looked up to see golden gates. Holy shit!
"John! Take me back!" I pleaded.
"Come on it won't be that bad, I'll be with you." He said with a smile.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the ground. He held my hand while we walked through the gates. Maybe this won't be that bad.