CHAPTER FIFTEEN
My head was spinning as I skimmed through the pages of my chemistry textbook. I groaned, thirty more pages to go. The lines on the notebook blurred together as I scribbled down whatever I felt was important, which seemed like everything. Each definition, equation, and element could be on the exam, and this was my last hurrah. My hand was starting to cramp but I promised myself I would get it done. I had to or else I could kiss my acceptance to social work goodbye, and I didn't want that.
I wasn't about to let the news of my adoption ruin everything, although I couldn't help but get distracted by my thoughts. My pen made a thud as it fell onto the paper. I picked up my phone, the picture that Noah had taken of us flashed on the display. A smile made its way onto my face as I thought about that kiss, my first kiss. If I closed my eyes, I could still feel his lips on mine and hear the words I love you rolling off his tongue.
My phone vibrated in my hand, a message from Cameron popping up on the screen.
Cameron Holden
Come talk?
I sighed. I wasn't ready to message our birth mother and set up a meeting, although I knew that was what he wanted to talk about. I couldn't explain it, but just thinking about it sent panic raging throughout me. Maybe it was the fact that it still felt like a secret, except now we were keeping it from our parents. Or maybe it was because I didn't know what to expect. The people who gave birth to us were nothing more than strangers. We didn't know their intentions, no matter how genuine they sounded.
Cameron Holden
Can't sorry, gotta study. Maybe later.
Guilt washed over me as I pressed send. I didn't want him to feel like I was brushing him off, but I really did have to study. I turned my phone over and tried to bring my attention back to my textbook. A groan slipped through my lips as I glanced over at the clock. It was nearing ten o'clock at night and I still didn't feel like I'd made any progress.
I put my head down on the table, trying to work out where I'd gone wrong. I used to be good at studying, I could study and forget all of my problems, focus on the task at hand.
There was a knock on my door and I turned to see my dad standing in the doorway, already in his pajamas. "Hi honey, we're going to bed. Don't stay up too late, alright?"
"I won't, just going to finish this chapter." I assured him, turning to the next page but instead of leaving he took a seat on my bed.
He sighed, something was on his mind. "How are you doing with everything?"
"Um, okay." I bit my lip. It felt like a lie but how could I say more? I wanted to tell him that we were in contact with our birth parents but I couldn't without Cameron. I wasn't about to go behind his back.
"Okay, I just thought I would check in with you. We haven't talked much lately and I do understand why. Your mom and I are sorry for how it all came out, we really did want to be the ones to tell you and your brother." He got back up, this time making his way over to me. Solemnly, he placed his hands on my shoulders, squeezing them tightly. "I love you Samara."
It was supposed to be easy to tell my father that I loved him, but there was something holding me back. Tears pooled in my eyes."Love you too Dad." I muttered. The words felt foreign coming out of my mouth and I quickly came to the conclusion that I was still angry for all of the secrets.
"Alright, well, goodnight." He left the room, closing the door behind him.
I wiped my eyes and slammed my textbook shut in frustration, as my phone vibrated against the desk. My breath shook as I picked it up, revealing a text from Noah.
Noah Wayland
How is studying going?
Not great
I'll come over tomorrow and we can study.
In the back of my mind a pestering voice protruded, my fear of being a bother evident. I had to remind myself that he loved me and he wanted to help.
Noah Wayland
Thank you, goodnight
Goodnight
I decided it was best to give up studying for the night. I knew I was tired, but also that there was little chance of me falling asleep. Not with the message from our birth mother floating around in my head. I needed answers just as much as I needed sleep, or maybe I needed answers so I could get some sleep.
Mustering up the courage to talk to Cameron, I wandered from my bedroom to his. His door was closed but the light escaped through the cracks, letting me know he was still awake. I knocked lightly and then again louder when I got no response.
I opened the door and peeked in, slipping my head through the crack. He was staring up at the ceiling, watching the fan spin in circles, passing by the little glow in the dark stars that had been there since he was five. His fingers tapped on his chest. I could tell he was deep in thought, probably wondering about our birth parents just like I was.
The window was open, creating a draft. As the breeze hit my nose, I got a whiff of weed. Cameron wasn't one to smoke often, but I wasn't surprised. I guess we both needed a break. While I turned to Noah, he turned to marijuana.
"Hey," I muttered. Cameron jumped, startled, but relaxed when he saw it was me.
"Oh it's just you, I swear you sounded like mom for a second there." He chuckled lightly, seemingly in a better mood than when I saw him earlier. I couldn't help but think that with one misstep we would be back to fighting.
"Uh thanks?" I rolled my eyes, trying to shake it off. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah," he nodded and sat up, making room on the bed for me. "What's up?" He patted his red and blue plaid comforter and I joined him.
"Did Dad come and talk to you?" I asked, simply because I was curious how it went. To say that he had been hostile towards our parents lately was an understatement.
He rolled his eyes, which I took as a yes.
"How did it go?" I was playing with fire, pressing for more information from him.
"Oh you know, just the usual," he trailed off, another way of saying he didn't want to talk about it. "So what do you want to do about that message?"
I took a deep breath, "I just need to push past it and meet her even though I'm scared. So you can set up a meeting and I'll come with you."
Cameron furrowed his brows and shook his head. "I don't want to do that. It's gotta be us together, making the decisions. That's what we decided, otherwise it's going to get messy."
"It's already messy Cammy." I put my head in my hands, trying to will my legs to stop shaking. He sighed heavily and squeezed my shoulder.
"Yeah, well it's the hand we've been dealt so," he trailed off, shaking his head. "If you're not ready we can wait, I can wait."
"That's not it. It just sends my anxiety through the roof just thinking about it." I stood up, beginning to pace the room. My stomach had twisted itself into knots and my chest grew tight. "What difference does it make?"
He sighed, staring down at his hands. "I just want you to feel comfortable."
"I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable, I've just got to push through it and do it anyway. That's what I'm trying to say." My hands grasped at the hem of my shirt, trying to ease my mind by fidgeting. "I want to meet her, I do."
"Let's talk about it okay?" He offered.
"Okay." The room got quiet, neither of us sure where to start. There was no guide for us to follow, no right way to go about meeting our birth parents. We just had to dive into the unknown and cross our fingers, hope that we didn't drown. "Screw it." I picked Cameron's phone up off the bed and began typing. For a minute I suppressed every thought and feeling that told me to stop while I was ahead.
Thank you that means a lot. We would like to meet you sooner rather than later if that's possible, maybe for coffee. Weekends work best for us. Let us know what works for you and we can go from there.
Cameron watched over my shoulder, nodding with each letter I typed. "That sounds good." He muttered. My thumb hovered over the send button. A countdown started in my head as I tried to psych myself up. I felt like I was tempting fate, begging for everything to change.
I heard Noah's voice in my head, change doesn't always have to be bad. A perfect example was our relationship. I was so happy with how that turned out.
I knew I should have felt content, but I couldn't help but fear that it was too good to be true. There was so much at stake now that I loved him. I was even more scared to lose him.
I pressed send and watched the message float up in a little blue box.
I handed Cameron his phone back. "There, sent."
"Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" He gaped at me, trying to lighten the mood.
I shrugged, "I told you, I am trying."
"She read it," his eyes widened, showing me the three little dots that appeared signifying that she was typing. My knees buckled, and I sat back down on his bed. Anxiety fluttered in my stomach, anticipation making me nauseous. My nails pressed into my palms, trying to distract myself. "She said: We can meet next weekend if that works, I'll come to you."
I nodded and gulped down the lump in my throat. "Wow, that was almost easy."
Cameron was busy typing a reply, his tongue peeking out between his lips. Concentration obvious on his face, lines crossing his forehead. "How does this sound?"
Yeah, next weekend works for us. How about we meet at the Simply Cafe on Olympia at 2pm?
"Yeah," I said meekly while wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. "That's... good." I cursed under my breath at the way my voice hitched, giving away my wavering thoughts. I forced a smile and looked up at Cameron, but he didn't even seem to notice. He pressed send and waltzed into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
He seemed unfazed, like usual while I was left to worry for the both of us.
Thanks for reading!
I hope that you've enjoyed this chapter of The Truth About Us! Let me know in the comments down below your thoughts about the story so far. Who is your favorite character? What do you think will happen next? Will Samara and Cameron meet their birth mother?
xx Allie