Chapter 45
~Lucie’s POV~
Casey’s expression scared me. The corners of Casey’s lips were turned downward, his expression a mixture of hopelessness and anxiety. What frightened me most was the picture that laid on his lap. I recognized the picture immediately. I was sitting on the roof of a tower, the sun setting behind me as I unknowingly posed for the picture that Beau had taken off me. In it, I had an expression that had scant been captured on film, at least in regards to me. I had been truly happy that day, one of the few that I could easily call back to memory. It had actually been the first time I had freely spoken about the ZKL to someone other than Beau. That was the day I realized we were truly not oddities in the world. It had been the day that I had met Fane Marandici. His words had inspired me like no others, exciting me to divulge in possibilities I hadn’t dreamed possible until that day. It was a picture that I stuffed in a locket above my bed back home, one that I had yet to unpack from my bag next to our bed.
“You don’t know the story behind the picture, mate,” I spoke the words softly, wrapping my hands around Casey’s. I waited until our eyes met until I spoke.
“The picture has less to do with the name on the back and more to do with what had happened before that picture was taken. That was the day I met the other person who escaped the ZKL’s clutches. That picture was actually taken of me sitting on his roof. He’s a paranoid recluse who lives in the back hills of Romania. The only reason Beau’s name is written on the back of it was because he’s the one that took the picture. Nothing more, nothing less.” Casey had begun smiling halfway through my explanation. By the time I had finished speaking, the smile was nearly impossible to look at. I hadn’t seen Casey ever smile like that before and it caused a feeling to flood through me, one that I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Bashfulness.
“No need to hide your face, love,” my cheeks were a deep fire engine red as I blushed, trying my best to let my eyes linger anywhere else in the room but on him. The last thing I needed on my mind right now was Casey, not with the ZKL still standing at our borders.
“What’s being done with them?” I forced my tone to harden, an attempt to sound impassive despite the raging fears surging within me.
“Othello is being lead onto pack lands. We still have them surrounded. A couple of hours ago we shackled and cuffed them. They aren’t attempting to fight us, which most of my men still are suspicious of, even after I had explained the situation to them.”
“How’d you explain it? Even I don’t fully understand why they’re here.”
“I told them they were sent to aid us by someone who truly believed they would help us. It’s a true statement, but that doesn’t mean it’s the entire truth… the men are starting to ask question’s I’m not ready to answer.” Casey let out a sigh, sitting on the bed beside us. I instinctively sat next to him, angling my body towards his.
“There’s an easy way to fix that,” I didn’t even attempt to mask the pain in my voice as I spoke. I had forced my eyes away from Casey’s instead letting them linger on the hem of his plaid shirt.
“Lucie, I don’t think that you’re ready for that yet,” I knew he was right, I wasn’t ready to face them. Fear was still constantly flowing through my veins, even though the ZKL were miles away from my current location. The closer I was to them the harder it was to block out the memories of everything they’d done to me. Every one of my senses were on high alert, my heart being a thousand miles per minute. It was like I was stuck in a perpetual panic attack, the alertness and fear never dwindling no matter space between us. Just knowing they were in the general vicinity of me was enough to set me on edge. Facing them was a nearly incomprehensible notion, one that caused my heart nearly flutter out of my chest in fear. The only reason I could even consider facing them now was because the threat of not knowing, the thought of living a second longer in this torturous state of not knowing... was worse than what I was currently experiencing.
“I need to do this Casey, I’ll go insane if I don’t,” it was the first time I had dared to look into his eyes since the topic of the ZKL had arisen. Casey must have seen something in them because he nodded, causing a sign of relief to escape me. Confused, I felt my eyebrow’s furrowing. I turned to Casey and gave him a perplexed stare.
“Why does it feel like half the weight just lifted from my chest?”
“That’s the mating bond, love. Approval and reassurance are everything. It’s actually a two way street, believe it or not.” Color once again flooded my face as I stared into Casey’s eyes, mixed emotions tumbling through me.
“I really have that much power over you?”
“I wouldn’t say power as much as influence-,” he stopped mid thought, raising his hands in surrender.
“Alright, alright. You have power over me. Jeez, stop with the look!” I couldn’t resist laughing at that. I hadn’t even realized that I had been giving him a look.
“Stop it,” he grumbled, leaning away from me with a small smirk. I stood up a second later, trying to prepare myself for what I was about to do. Wiping my palms on my jeans, I turned towards Casey. Casey copied my actions and then glanced down at me, his expression unsure.
“I’ll be fine Casey. Plus you’ll be there if I need help.” I teased, hitting my shoulder against his in an attempt to appear unaffected. From his expression I knew he didn’t buy it, however I shrugged it off, choosing to focus on the thoughts ranging inside my head instead. My feet traveled almost on autopilot as I followed my senses to where the ZKL were located. Casey didn’t attempt to talk to me on our way over, and for that I was grateful. I wasn’t entirely sure if I would’ve been able to answer him if he’d tried.
The journey was over far sooner than I would have liked, my heart and mind still racing as we approached the clearing. The first thing that I noticed was how many people were standing around the group. There were at least thirty people in total boxed around the ZKL, each with their own varying looks of concern. I picked out a few key faces from the crowd, ones that I knew my history with the ZKL. From the crowd, I was able to pick out the faces of Nicu, Norrix, and Sascha Leventis, who was the guy in charge of the training arena. Then there were the people I knew personally from the pack, like Alayah, Piran and my brother. When my eyes landed on him I knew what needed to be done. I knew that I couldn’t have him here, not after everything that they had done to me.
“Roman, can I talk to you alone for a second,” I watched as Roman’s back stiffened. He turned slowly, both embarrassment and annoyance shinning in his eyes.
“I told him he could be here, Luce.”
“You had no right making that decision without consulting me first, Piran.”
“Are you saying that he gets to receive special treatment being the Luna’s sister?” Piran challenged.
“You received special treatment. If Casey hadn’t let his personal biases get in the way, you would be nothing more than what Roman is now, brother to an official of the pack. Now Piran as much as I appreciate you stepping on my toes in front of our prisoners, one’s that I have a particularly nasty history with, would it be okay if I talked with my brother alone?” I don’t think I would have reacted this way if the ZKL hadn’t been so close to me. I was trying everything in my power to remain in control of myself when all I wanted nothing more than to default to my two main survival modes, run or kill. I couldn’t safely do either at the moment, having to remain unaffected by the presence of the people most responsible for causing me pain than another other person still left alive on this earth.
“Yes, Luna,” Piran bowed his head in submission, quickly catching on to my ever wavering emotions. My eyes met with my brother’s and I sent him a silent plea to follow me. After a couple of seconds of deliberation he followed, bowing his head in both a sign of submission and respect.
Once we were a safe distance from the group I let out a strangled sigh of relief. I wanted to crumple to the ground, the walls that I had built up for so long finally showing signs of tumbling down.
“You really don’t want to be here, do you?” I snapped my head up at the sound of shock in his voice, realizing he could have very easily been watching me this whole time.
“I don’t. I don’t want any of you within a thousand miles of these people. Hell, I don’t want to be on the same continent as these people, let alone worry about my big brother being less than ten feet away from these monsters.” My voice came out uneven as I tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill at the mere thought of these people.
“Oh Lucie,” I was in his arms within a second, him squeezing me tight against him. I felt the rest of my walls falling down around me as he held me close to his chest. I held onto him for dear life as I cried, finally surrendering to the terror pulsing inside of me. I wasn’t ready for this. I knew that. I had to be… I had to be strong. I had always had to be strong. I felt myself cry harder at the thoughts, wanting nothing more than to remain in my big brother’s arms for the rest of my life.
“What am I supposed to do, Roe? I can’t be a Luna. I’m not even strong enough to be within a hundred feet of those monsters without bursting out into tears. How am I supposed to lead anyone if I can’t even contain myself?” At my words he quickly held me tighter against him.
“Sometimes even the strongest people have to shed a tear every once and a while. You need to remember that leaders can’t always be strong for others, they just need to be strong enough for themselves. Don’t try to carry the weight of the world on your shoulder’s Luce. There are other people here to help carry your load. You’re not alone in this, you never will be.” I wanted to cry harder at this words, this time from happiness instead of fear.
“When did you get so smart?”
“I’ve always been smart, you just haven’t been around to see it,”
“It wasn’t my fault you know,”
“I know,” with that I turned back in the direct of the crowd. It was time to face my fears and prove to myself that I could be the leader I knew I could be.
~☾~
Crimson Cove wasn’t what I expected it to be. Its exterior was made of black stone, red stones used to accent its already imposing façade. There was a fountain in the center, leading into a nicely kept flower bed and garden. This was Nicu’s domain, everything beyond this point handled exclusively by him, none of the other pack members ever daring to step a foot inside.
“No one expects you to do this, Lucie,” Roman was standing at my side, his hand tightly grasped around mine. Casey was already inside, along with many other of the higher up pack members. I wanted nothing more than to head Roman’s word’s and return home with him, maybe having both Roman and Sonny sleep in the same room with me tonight. But I knew I couldn’t do that, at least not yet. There was still too much that remained unknown.
“I have to do this, Roman. I have to know why they never came after me.”
“That’s not what Casey’s trying to figure out.”
“He doesn’t need to worry about it. He has enough on his plate. Beau and I both need to get some answers… maybe even some closer.” Roman nodded, having been given the full story before by Casey. I hadn’t had the heart to tell Roman myself, the details still remaining locked away in my mind, untouched for nearly the entire year I had had them.
“Casey’s your mate Lucie. You need to talk to him about things like this. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard from all of you lucky wolves with mates out there.” Roman lightly teased, running his fingers through his midnight black hair.
“One day, Roe. Don’t fret. She or he is out there somewhere.”
“Oh come on! I’m not gay like Sonny!”
“Sonny said he wasn’t gay either and look where that got him.”
“Well everyone knew Sonny was gay, despite what he says. It was clear as day to anyone who spent more than five minutes with the guy.”
“I don’t know, designer clothes, styled hair are you sure you’re straight instead of homosexual?” I was playing into a stereotype and I knew it, but I couldn’t resist the chance at annoying Roe, not when the opportunity presented itself.
“You know what Lucie? Have fun with the monsters, because I’m leaving you without a flashlight!” Roman called, trotting off into the distance leaving me to stand alone in front of the gloomy stone entrance.
“I’ll walk you in if you’d like,” my knife was whipped out of its holster in seconds, it’s blade glittering in the soft moonlight. Nicu stepped out of the shadows, his face becoming slowly illuminated by the pale light around us.
“Be careful with who you decide to wield that blade upon. One day your blade alone may not be enough to best your opponent.” His words rattled me, his words sounding eerily familiar to me, yet not at the same time.
“You do not remember me,” pain flashed in his eyes his eyes surveyed me. I knew that I did recognize him. I just didn’t know when and where I had first seen him.
“It’s like I have a memory of you… but at the same time it’s locked away. Part of me want’s to believe that it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. But from your expression I can see that it’s something a lot more than that.”
“It’s an issue for another time,” Nicu dismissed, stepping aside for me to walk past him. I nodded, slipping my blade back into its holster. My fingers remained on the hilt, not daring to move away as I entered a building that caused more emotions to run through me than I would have liked.
“So you don’t get many visitors here?”
“You were the first one,” his words surprised me, as I read between his words to grasp the true meanings of his statement.
“You don’t mean-,”
“As I said, it’s an issue for another time.”
“As you wish,”
“As you wished,”
~
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Hey everyone! Just wanted to add a little A/N to say that this chapter wasn't edited as well as I would have hoped... I still have to pack for the trip I'm taking in less than 7 hours. Just thought I would get it out before I leave! I hope that I will have internet access sometime on my trip, but if not I will be back either sometime Sunday or Monday night...
Make sure to comment, vote and follow me if you enjoyed!
Peace and Chocolate,
~Kali