You can tell me. Anything you write in this notebook would only before for our eyes. Let me help you.
Every time I got a message from Albus, my notebook cover would change from black to blue and wouldn't change back to its original color until I read the message. Not that I needed a reason to read his messages. I couldn't help myself but I had the strength not to write back. I had to stay strong. I couldn't waver.
He's relentless, however. For the past month, he's gone out of his way to be around me and whenever we're alone he'll ask again and again what was really going on. I knew he was trying to wear me down and I'm afraid it might work.
I'd given up trying to avoid meals because it was ridiculous and my stomach couldn't handle it. I go to breakfast early, though, because I knew that Al sleeps in as long as he can. I was in the Great Hall now, eating the fresh pastries with only a few dozen students milling about. A note landed on my plate from one of the owls flying above. It was a blank envelope. Curious, I opened it.
You're not trying hard enough. If Albus doesn't back down then I'll make him.
My heart lurched. This can't be happening. I had broken up with him just like they asked! I can't make him back down since he still doesn't believe me. But how can I make him believe me?
"Hey, Scorp," Cath sat down next to me, bringing me out of my thoughts.
The only way to get to believe me was if I move on...
"Hey, Cath. I have something I've been meaning to ask you..."
Albus's POV
Annabelle had to be lying to me.
"What?" I asked for the third time.
Anna sighed. "I heard it straight from Cath and confirmed it with Scorpius. They're going out on a date this weekend."
I suddenly felt really sick and angry. "You told me to give him time and space!"
"Which as far as I can tell you've been doing neither," she snapped back.
"This is unbelievable! You said that he was traumatized! If he was so traumatized then why is he moving on so quickly?!"
"Look, I get your upset but yelling at me will not make you feel any better!" Anna said then placed her hand on my shoulder. "I still stand by what I said about him being put under a lot of pressure. Maybe him moving on so quickly is him overcompensating. He's going back to a heterosexual relationship to make him seem 'normal.' Which is a feeling that he lacked in his relationship with you."
"You really think that his feelings are that complicated?
She shrugged. "It's the only explanation that makes sense to me."
I sighed, my eyes filling up with tears. "Well, I guess it's really over then."
"Al—"
"I just want to be alone if you don't mind," I said, wiping away the tears.
She nodded. "Okay. I'm really sorry."
Once she left the common room I went up to my room. I didn't want to sob in a place that anyone could walk in at any moment. It's like my heart broke again. Not only did he break up with me, but he's also seeing someone else as if our time together didn't mean as much to him as it did to me. I slumped down on my bed and pulled the currents around my bed closed. I buried my face in my pillow and curled in on myself.
I kept rethinking all the times we were together. All the shared kisses and longing looks across the room. All the times we held each other in each other arms. All the times we'd laugh and joke around with each other because we were best friends too. Spending time with him was like returning to a childhood home. I love him more than I can express. I wasn't just losing a boyfriend; I was losing a best mate. And it was tearing me apart.
Scorpius's POV
Albus wasn't at breakfast or any of our classes. I guess he heard the news. When I asked Cath to go out with me, she agreed almost immediately. I felt bad about it. She was excited to go out with me and I was just using her to get Al to back down. I liked Cath as a friend but no more than that. No one compared to Albus. I hoped that this will be enough to get the person threatening Al off my back.
I could tell Anna and Rose were upset with me. Rightfully so, I think. I broke Al's heart and started someone a month lately. It makes me look like a complete ass. It didn't help that the full moon was to be tonight. I wouldn't be surprised that after the news of me going out with Cath that Al wouldn't show up at our spot tonight.
I was heading there now. I had just finished dinner and had packed some food for Albus in case he came since I knew he hadn't eaten today. I sat down on the sand and pulled my cloak tighter against me. I watched the sunset over the Black Lake, something that had always been a small comfort to me. It was one of my favorite things to watch with Al. The red rays casting the last light of the day on the lake. It was always beautiful.
"Scorpius?"
I jumped and turned to see Albus standing a few feet away. I stumbled to my feet.
"Albus" I breathed, shocked and relieved that he was here. "I'm surprised that you're here."
Al dropped his bag and took a seat on the sand. "I made a promise to you that I don't intend on breaking."
I sat down next to him and handed him my bag. "You weren't at any of the meals today so I figured you'd be hungry."
He took my bag and pulled out a sandwich. A small smile formed on his lips. "Thank you."
I nodded and let him eat. I felt uneasy sitting next to him. Part of me feared that I would get another threat by just being alone with Al and the other part just wanted to pull him into my arms and explain everything.
"So...you and Cath," Al trailed off and I tensed.
"Yeah," that's all I could say.
"Rose and Anna have been bouncing off theories with me on why you broke up with me. They seem to think that our relationship was doomed due to all the stress and strain that was put on it. They think that you were traumatized because of the change and the fact that my dad is being an idiot and believing rumors about who your father is. We've been to the Hospital Wing too often and we have gone through a lot. They convinced me that you needed time to adjust and adapt and I did. Now you're going out with another person, a girl at that. And Anna seems to think that you're overcompensating from the trauma." Al didn't look at me, just kept gazing at the lake. "I thought that it was because of a threat of some sort at first. But what sort of threat makes you break up with me and date someone else? None of this adds up. So, Scorp, which is it?"
His green eyes trained on mine and I swallowed. Tears formed in my eyes thinking about all the shit I've made him go through. All the hurt and hope crushed. I could see some of that hope in his eyes. Hope that was fading. I didn't want his hope to fade.
"I'm so sorry," I said then kissed him.
I grabbed his hips and pulled him against me and it didn't take long for Albus to respond. He wove his arms around my neck and pushed his fingers through my hair. I pulled Al so close to me that we ended up falling onto the sand with him above me. All the pent-up passion of the last month surged through me and I couldn't get enough of his lips on mine. I didn't ever want to let him go. Eventually, we did pull apart and Albus was grinning.
"I knew I was right," he said.
I brushed a stray hair out of his eye. "Yes. The last month has been hard because it killed me knowing that you thought that you meant less than the world to me. But I stand by my decision. We can't be together as long as someone is threatening you. We've got to keep up this charade, no one can know that you know that I still love you."
"But—"
"Please, Al. That bludger incident wasn't an accident and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you because of me. Can you do this for me?"
He sighed. "All right but why didn't you tell me in the first place?"
"It needed to look convincing but in the end, it wasn't enough anyway."
"What happened?"
"I got another threatening letter this morning and that's why I asked Cath out. It had to seem like we were really over and it still has to seem that way."
"I like the word 'seem'" he said, brushing his lips over mine.
I smiled. "We've got to be smart about this."
He hummed as he brushed kisses along my jawline. "I'm sure we can manage."
"You can't look this happy, though, it'll be suspicious."
He nuzzled his nose along my neck. "It'll be hard but I'll do it."
"Yes, because we did so well when we were secretly dating the first time." I pulled away and made him look me in the eyes. "I can't lose you, Al. If I'm the reason you get hurt again—"
Albus cupped my cheeks. "I won't. We'll figure this out and get through this. I promise."
"I still have to date Cath too. No one can know that we're back together."
He sighed. "Okay. I guess seeming unhappy won't be too hard then."
I kissed him. "I love you. This won't be forever."
He smiled. "I know. I love you too."