𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄
chapter thirty; Paved With Good Intentions
" But Regulus doesn't not love you, you idiot! "
IN MADELINE'S BURST of emotion, she, for whatever reason, had gone straight to the pitch. Not even opting for the stands, she was sitting in the center of the bright green grass. Her fingers were busy with a cigarette, and the orange ember on the ground by the toe of her boot showed it was not her first.
"Maddie, he's just looking out for you," Sirius said softly, approaching the brunette.
"Yeah, well he can fuck off," Madeline snapped angrily, "I don't need him, he suffocates me!"
"Hey, he's trying to be a good brother."
"Yeah, well he's shitty at it!"
"Maybe you're a shitty sister," He barked. "He's a good brother."
"What, wanting my own life makes me a shitty sister?"
"No, hating your brother does!"
"I'm bloody allowed to hate him when he ruins my life!"
"You don't know how good you've got it," Sirius yelled, his voice filling the empty air around her.
"I get that you have a rough life," Madeline shouted, matching his range, "But Regulus doesn't not love you, you idiot! He's scared! Of your parents and doing what you did, we're not all bloody brave!"
Sirius was shocked into silence, the girl flicked the ash off her cigarette harshly before continuing.
"I don't know what it's like to be you. But you don't know what it's like when someone tries to control every aspect of your life, and actually manages to do it. People listen to James, alright? They stay away from me if he tells them to," She paused to take a drag of her cigarette, nicotine burning the back of her throat. She knew it was bad, but that didn't stop her.
A trend in Madeline Potter's life.
"Just because my life is shitty in a different way than yours, doesn't mean it's not shitty. I'm allowed to be pissed off because my brother suffocates me. The last thing I need is another person telling me what to do."
"I wasn't trying to do that," Sirius admitted in defeat, sitting on the ground beside the girl.
"Yeah, well, you did."
"I'm sorry," He said, "Mads, I'm sorry."
Madeline turned to face Sirius, her expression bored as she took the last long hit of her cigarette, blowing the smoke to the side before crushing the cigarette beneath her foot.
"I might. . . love you," Sirius admitted quietly, looking down and allowing his hair to fall into his face. "And, I'm sorry about that, too."
"Merlin, I hate it when you do that," Madeline mumbled, making Sirius look up. Her features had softened, almost in defeat. "I really care about you, Sirius."
"Enough to stay with me?"
Madeline honestly was at a loss. Half of her wanted to say yes. Scream it, loud enough for the entire school to hear, that she was with Sirius Black and loved it. The feeling, the thrill, the laugh attacks in the middle of scandalous nights in bed, the hidden smiles in passing, all of it.
But the other half was the reason she couldn't. Because as much as she wanted to let herself love Sirius, Madeline cared about her brother. Despite their spats, their fights, and shouts, the constant name-calling, and heinous insults, James was her brother. Her twin. The only one she had, the only one she ever would, and she'd known silence between them all too well and didn't like it.
Madeline never wanted to experience that discomfort again.
But she couldn't shove Sirius away just yet, so she greedily pulled him into a kiss. Madeline's hand on the back of his neck, tucking the black hair against the pale skin, her body curving into his just slightly. And Sirius Black relished in it, because he wasn't sure if it was a goodbye or not.
The taste of nicotine, the coldness of her cheek he felt as he brought a hand to it, the deep curve in her waist he had embedded into his memory, and the warmth radiating from the heated kiss.
All to be broken by the one thing that could wreck it all.
"Maddie?"
The girl pulled away, snapping her head to the source of the betrayal ridden voice. James Potter stood in the middle of the dark pitch, his uniform ruffled as if from running. His breathing had picked up slightly, brows furrowed as he stared at the couple.
That was frozen.
Madeline's hands were still tucked into Sirius' tresses, his pressing into her waist.
"Sirius?"
Madeline stood first, slipping out of Sirius' hold to approach her brother. "James, I—"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" James shouted, more so directed at Sirius. The boy winced slightly, though this didn't stop James, "My sister?"
"James, look at me," Madeline snapped, stepping between James and Sirius. She had a wave of fear, when James' burning gaze switched to her, but it went as soon as it came. "Don't be angry at him, okay, this was me— it was all me."
"How long?"
"It's not important—"
"How long, Madeline?" James repeated louder.
". . . Since the summer he moved in."
James let out a noise of shock, followed by a bitter laugh as he looked to Sirius. "You've been screwing my sister for a whole year?"
"James," Madeline said in hurt, not knowing what else to say.
"You think you can just mess with her?" James questioned, almost threateningly.
"I'm not messing with her, mate," Sirius said strong, despite his voice wavering. "I care about her."
"Oh, oh you care about her?" James laughed again, "You don't care about girls, Sirius!"
"Maddie's not just a girl!"
"I know, she's my sister!"
"I'm a person!" Madeline shouted, interrupting the two, "I don't know why you think it's okay— or some weird heroic thing to keep ruining my life!"
"I'm being a big brother!"
"No, you're not! You're being a twat! It's the reason I couldn't tell you I had feelings for Sirius, the reason Lily hated you for six years, it's why Remus has to talk to me about not feeling good enough, and people only like you when you're doing things for them!" She shouted, so loud, so harsh it made James recoil, "You're selfish, you're an arrogant, horrible person, no better than the people you claim to be bullies! You're no better than Keeler or Hughes or Snape!"
"I just want to be a good brother."
"Yeah, well then maybe you should actually listen to what I want!" Madeline shouted, tears pricking in her eyes, "You're an arsehole, James, and I hope after we graduate I never have to see you again!"
And for a brief moment, it was just James and Sirius watching Madeline stomp off the green grass. Just the boys-turned-brothers beneath the pale, half moonlight, somehow both broken by the teen leaving them.
"I can't believe you," James said after a moment, lacking any fire, "I told you she was off limits, Sirius."
"I'm not going to hurt her," Sirius defended quietly, "At this point, you're the only one doing that."
James moved his lips to form words, but every syllable died on his lips. Sirius faltered for a moment, shoving his hands into his leather jacket, and stalking off after the Ravenclaw.
Leaving James Potter all on his lonesome, and despite a lapse of guilt, he felt very little other than anger.
( AUTHOR'S NOTE. )
you guys have been WAITING\
for James to find out. . . so,
what do we think? Is he trying
to be a good brother and it
just went too far? Are his actions justified
despite the moral 'good or bad' of
them?? I want to hear what everyone thinks,
CONVERSE!