Chapter seventy-one.
February.
Sister. 10/2-1978.
Doomed are the souls that live for freedom.
Doomed are the weak that believe in love.
Doomed are the ones who deny his power.
With the letter came the dreams. Dreams as dark as the magic they so eagerly learned to defend themselves from. Dreams filled with blood coloured orbs, waiting in the dark and as soon as she turned her back they would follow close behind. Her name spoken in a foreign language, hissing whispers against her neck as she fumbled around in a veil of darkness. Pale fingers stroking her naked shoulders as she desperately searched for the light, that to her despair she never found until she woke up in her bed, breath stuck in her throat and pearls of sweat forming in the back of her neck.
She was afraid to admit it, but with the dreams came the fear and with the fear came pain. A strong agony that was slowly taking the best of her, and slowly Alissa realised what the purpose of her sister's letter had been. It was to break her, turn her into a slave to the fear and as she laid herself down at night she had the courage to admit that it was working.
"No fucking way, Padfoot. I'm not doing that," James protested as he smacked his friend over the head, "Tell him, Lily!"
"He's right, Sirius. I won't let him strip naked in front of all these innocent children. I've got a responsibility, after all, so does he," pointing at the red pin on the side of his cloak, "However,...our dorm is empty?"
"Marlene would die of disgust if she happened to walk in on a naked James, man, PENIS," Peter said, biting back a laugh as he eyed James from the top of his head to his sock-clad feet.
"Oy, dick head. As it happens I do have a beautiful penis, tell'em Sirius," James turned to his friend, who sat with his arms around Alissa, whose attention was drawn somewhere else. Her eyes were set on the night outside the window, at the stars that shone above them. Was the nights always this dark?
"He does," Sirius said, shooting a wink towards Lily who pretended not to notice before giving Alissa's forehead a light peck.
"It was a joke, a bad one at that," she said, but couldn't help but smile as she eyed the boy who was by now more of a man polishing his glasses with the sleeve of his shirt.
It was a Friday night, a night that was supposed to be filled with cheers and joy, but not to all. Not to Remus. Alissa caught his eye as he stepped inside the room, and they looked at her with emptiness. He stopped for a second as if he considered to join them but then he moved across the room, leaving them all silenced as his steps in the stairs faded.
"You guys have to tell me what in Merlin's name's going on with Remus? He's been acting like this for days," Lily said, her eyes jumping between the three friends. Alissa could sense Sirius arm growing stiff around her as Lily's eyes pierced him. Yes, something had definitely happened with Remus, but she knew they wouldn't spill it.
"It's nothing Lily," James said as the floor leader for them all, as always. But there was something, Alissa was sure of it. The last couple of days, since the first letter arrived, a darkness had trickled its way inside the castle walls, and it wasn't just affecting her.
"If you say so," Lily gave in, but sent a distrustful look to each one of the three, "Well then, I'm going to bed."
"Already?" James pouted, reaching for her hand but she had already stood up.
"I'll see you all tomorrow," Lily greeted them all good night and left up the stairs. Leaving the gathering that now only consisted of the three boys and Alissa who hid a yawn behind the back of her hand.
Sirius stroked her cheek, "Tiered, love?" he asked, looking at her with so much warmth she almost succeeded to smile. She leaned closer towards him, resting her head against his shoulder, the familiar scent of cigarette smoke hitting her in the chest. It didn't matter how dark her inside was, that smell would always remain sacred to her.
"Very," she said, fiddling with zipper on Sirius leather clad arm, "I think it's time for me to get back to my dorm."
"Need to borrow the cloak?" James offered, and a gasp escaped Sirius.
"Did you just offer her to borrow your most valuable possession? Are you flirting with her? Is that what this is? Because if you do i'll shop that silly willy off without hesitation," Sirius said, slamming his fist against the table.
James just blew a kiss his way before digging down into his quidditch trunk beside his armchair, "Here you go Alissa," he said, throwing the cloak her way.
She grabbed it, "Thank you, James," and made her way up from the couch, turning to Sirius, "I'll see you tomorrow then."
"I'll follow you out, if that's okay?" He asked, eyes glowering as he grabbed her hand in his, hugging it hard as they walked outside the common room, James and Peter waving their goodbyes behind them.
Outside Sirius stopped her, his hands holding tight around her shoulders as his eyes looked deep into hers, "Hi," he said with a silly smile and a smile broke out on her lips, "there she is, I haven't seen your smile for days, I've missed it," he said and traced his thumb across her cupid's bow.
He was right, she couldn't remember the last time she smiled. Her sisters words taking up all of her happy and joyful thoughts.
"I'm sorry, I've had a lot on my mind," She said, wishing it would be enough for him.
"Is there something I've done?" Sirius said, his shoulder sloping in a worried sense, "Have I pressured you? I know I've been all lovey-dovey since that night by the lake and I get if it became to much for you too fast. I'll contain myself, I promise, it's just that I- fuck, I'm so glad I finally have you, you know." He spoke fast, eyes darting across her face, down to his feet and up again.
Alissa's cheeks grew warm, "It's nothing you've done, silly," she grabbed him by his collar, locking his eyes with hers, "I'm sorry if I've made you feel like it is. I've been stressed over exams, and,...my family," she lowered her voice as she said the last part, "I promise it's nothing you've done. You are honestly the only good thing in my life right now, okay?"
"You're not lying to me now are you?" Sirius asked, pouting, his hands moving down to the small of her back.
"Never," Alissa breathed against his lips as she leaned closer, tasting his breath, "Never stop being lovey-dovey with me. I may act all cool, but on the inside I'm melting with every touch, every word you say." It wasn't a lie, she had everything she had wanted for the last six months right here in her arms. He was hers, she was his, so why did it feel like she was slowly drowning?
She pushed the memory of the letter away, as she pressed her lips against his, drowning inside Sirius touch instead of her sisters obscure words. His hot breath sending chills down her spine as their lips stroke each other lightly as a brush against delicate paper.
"Alissa?" Sirius said after a while, breath stuck in his throat as the kiss had deepened.
"Yes?" She answered against his lips, eyes still closed, begging to get more but Sirius stepped back, forcing her to open her eyes.
He cleared his throat, his cheeks glowing pink after their kiss, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you. I wanted to do something more spectacular than this, but since that's what I always do and this time the question actually means something,...I'm totally overthinking this," he shook his head, "Look what you've made of me! I'm a mess, a love-sick-nervous mess."
"I'm sorry love." She laughed and stroke his blushing cheek, "What is it that you want to ask me?"
"Alright, here we go," he sighed, "DoyouwanttogototheValentinesballwithme?"
Alissa frowned, "I'm sorry, babe, I didn't catch that."
"I said; do you want to go to the Valentines Ball with me?" he repeated himself, flipping his hair backwards in played confidence.
"Oh," Alissa let out, "I thought you wouldn't ask, so I agreed to go with Oliver Rickett,...I'm sorry."
"You,...what!?" Sirius gasped, throwing his hands up, grabbing his hair before casting a glimpse of Alissa's grinning face, "Oh you- that's mean, that's so fucking mean."
Alissa stepped closer, resting her hand against his cheek, "I'm your girlfriend now, I'm allowed to be a little mean."
"Girlfriend, huh?" Sirius said, trying to contain his smile.
"Yes, I'm your girlfriend and of course I'll go to the Ball with you." Alissa said, giving him another kiss and for the first time in days she felt warmth in her heart.