Tuesday, October 4th, 2018
12:21 p.m. Washington D.C.
Meredith Gray
The streets of D.C. bustled with the afternoon lunch rush, and the crisp autumn air was filled with CO2 emission. As a forceful breeze pushed crumpled newspapers and trash across the street, skipping over the curb and blowing up onto the sidewalk, Meredith pulled the collar of her coat higher to fight the chill.
A black vehicle was waiting at a red light in front of her, it's bass thumping so strongly the car seemed to rattle. Meredith could only imagine the people inside, banging their heads to the beat of the music. But she couldn't see past the heavily tinted windows, and soon enough the light turned colors and the SUV slowly drove past her as she walked.
She turned around the corner of a building and stepped onto the platform of her favorite café. A rush of tepid air greeted her when she pulled open the door, and she felt the familiar tingling sensation of her fingers warming.
Meredith glanced around the room for the distinctive European look of Luc. His poof of black hair and olive skin stuck out like a sore thumb. Most people were pale, white office workers, their skin ghostly light, deprived of nature's light. But there he was, sitting in their usual spot-a table by the fireplace. He leaned back in his chair, his leather gloves casually thrown across the table and a dark green coat hung off his chair.
Her soy chai was steaming when she sat down. "Thanks for ordering drinks already."
Luc gave her a lazy smile. "Of course." He leaned over the table, his eyes squinting as he focused on her. "Why did you want to meet?"
Meredith took off her own pair of leather gloves and wrapped her cold fingers around the hot mug. "I'm leaving for work." She blew lightly on the hot tea, her eyes glancing up to meet his. "I'm going to be gone for awhile."
Luc's smile grew condescendingly, his sneer showing off the front of his pearly white teeth. "You want me to take Diana. If only you had given her to me during the divorce, we wouldn't have to be doing this."
Meredith scoffed at his antics. "Don't be an ass, Luc. If you could have kept it in your pants, we wouldn't be here at all." She sent a harsh glare towards her ex-husband. "I could have sent her to my parents, but I thought this would be the best for her."
Luc raised his hands in defense. "Sorry Meredith, but if we just stayed together, everything would have been easier." The accusing edge in his voice picked at her composure.
A sarcastic laugh escaped through her lips. "Easier? You had an affair. I'm not like your mother, I won't turn a blind eye to my husband's infidelity." Meredith huffed, a childish instinct made her want to cross her arms and turn her cheek.
He ignored her last comment completely, "And I apologized for that, you know how I was-"
"I don't care that it's a different culture in France, Luc, not every French man unzips for a pretty girl. That's just a cheap cop-out and you know it."
"It was a mistake." His eyes grew pleading, desperately trying to calm her and make her understand.
"A year is not a mistake."
Luc's eyes broke away from hers. Stirring his coffee, he chewed on her words. Meredith looked down at her own drink, the white puffs of steam swirling up and disappearing.
"Look, I don't want to fight. I'm trying to make our relationship as co-parents work. We need to do this for Diana."
Luc nodded, a scolded look scarring his charming face as he looked down at his lap.
"How long will you be gone this time?" His voice was soft, almost longing.
Meredith took a small sip from her tea, burning her mouth. She hissed under her breath, puckering her lips in an attempt to soothe the pain. "I'm not sure, to be honest. Maybe a month?"
Luc's eyes widened and his mouth went agape. "A month? Meredith, that's too long to be away from our daughter."
"I know, but I won't be going dark. I can Skype her every night." She looked out the window, watching the people of D.C. walk by, the guilt to be a good mother was creeping in like usual; Meredith was the type of woman who craved perfection but rarely ever achieved it. Her life was a mess, and it was only getting messier.
Luc gazed at his watch and then back at her. "I have to go."
Meredith nodded, her brows furrowed. "Will you pick her up tonight then?" Her fingertips tapped anxiously against her mug, their soft sound filled the empty silence between them.
"So you're leaving tomorrow." His words an accusing statement, not a question.
"Yes."
Luc stood with a heavy sigh and grabbed his thick coat off the chair, shrugging it on. He raised his eyebrows as if there was nothing else to say, nothing else that could be done. "I'll be there around six." He said, his words sounding slightly exasperated.
A sympathetic smile worked its way on her lips. Luc was cold because he still loved her in his own morphed way, and even after his betrayal, she found herself getting upset that he was still loving her, she felt responsible but knew logically it wasn't her fault. It was his actions that took her love of him away, not her own. "Thank you, Luc. I know we do not see eye to eye anymore, but I can always count on you to be there for Diana. And that's all I ask."
Luc smiled awkwardly, "I will see you tonight."
And then he was gone.
She watched him move toward the door, her eyes following as he walked by the large windows until he was out of sight. Looking back at his cup, she noticed it was half full with a twenty dollar bill stuck under it. So Luc was still trying to take care of her.
A waitress walked up from behind her, startling her out of a daze. "Miss, would you like to order now?"
Meredith gestured to her full mug of tea, "No, but may I get this as a cup to go?"
The waitress smiled brightly, "Sure, would your friend like his to go, too?"
Meredith shook her head, "No, you can dump that."
"Okay, I'll be back soon with your tea." The waitress took their drinks away, and all there was left of him was the twenty.
She glanced back out the large glass windows, watching people until the waitress came back. "Here you go, Ma'am." She set a styrofoam cup in front of Meredith, a small smiley face and a 'thank you for coming' we're on the side in black marker.
"Thank you." She slid over the bill. "Keep the change."
.............................................
Tuesday, October 4th, 2018
5:27 p.m. Washington D.C.
Meredith Gray
Meredith shoved clothes after clothes into her two suitcases: warm clothes, dress clothes, fitness clothes, and much more. She squeezed them into vacuum bags to conserve space and then threw in two pairs of heels, a pair of tennis shoes and boots.
Gazing around the room, Meredith thought about what she could be missing. She moved to her dresser, her fingers gliding across the wood surface. She stopped at her jewelry box, and when she opened the hatch, her eyes fell on the glittering ring Luc had used to propose.
Her eyes moved, settling on a gold necklace with the letter L imprinted on a small, dangling circle. With a heavy heart, she took the necklace off the hook, holding it close to her.
"Mommy?" Diana's soft voice called from the bed. "When is Papa coming?"
Meredith quickly shoved the necklace into her front jeans pocket. "Soon, baby." She smiled brightly down at her daughter.
She moved towards the bed, and it dipped when she sat on the corner. She brushed the curly, black locks off her daughter's face. "Would you like me to read you a story?"
The little girl shook her head up and down vigorously. "Hm-mm, French story, Mama. French story."
Meredith sighed deeply. Though she knew French, she was starting to get annoyed reading a French bedtime story to her three-year-old daughter. Meredith only kept a few French books at her apartment, and she needed to get more. It was all Diana wanted to be read.
"Okay. Which book?" Meredith smiled sweetly down at her daughter. She looked so much like Luc, tanned skin, black curls, and Luc's green eyes.
Diana squealed and sprang off the bed, her little body flying through the air. "Le Petit Prince!" she shouted joyfully as she bounced back onto the bed, book in hand.
"Sweetie, we won't be able to finish before Daddy comes." Diana's excitement withered accordingly, her little face forming a pout. "How about I take it with me and read it to you before bed?"
"Okay." The little girl smiled brightly.
"Come on, I'll tell you a story." Diana crawled into her mother's lap, snuggling up close. "Once, when I was little, my Dad gave me the most beautiful present. It was a silver necklace, with a little, yellow heart. He told me that it was for when he was gone for work, and when I missed him, I could hold tightly to the necklace and in my dreams that night he would come to visit me."
Diana looked up at her mom with wide eyes. "Did he, Mama?"
Meredith stroked her daughter's head, twirling the hair loosely around her fingers. "He did. He would sing to me." She smiled at the memory. "Your Grandpa had the most beautiful voice, and it made me feel happy whenever I was sad."
Diana snuggled deeper. "I'll miss you, Mama."
Meredith kissed the top of her daughter's head. "I'll miss you too, sweetie." As the two girls cuddled on the bed, Diana talked to her about the events of daycare, her little voice never stopping.
Diana was quite advanced for her age, she was only turning four in a couple of months, but she could have intelligible conversations. Whether it was about Paw Patrol or something she saw that day. She was able to comprehend many things children her age couldn't. And boy she was not a shy little girl, she would strike up a conversation with anybody if they let her.
The buzzing of the intercom jarred Meredith out of her relaxed state. She scooted Diana off her lap and made her way into the living room. Pressing the button, she called out, "Hello?"
"I'm here to pick up Diana." Luc's voice came, the slight static distorting his words.
Meredith pressed another button, opening the front door to allow Luc to come up. Turning away, Meredith moved back into her room, stopping over at the jewelry box to take out a necklace.
The yellow gem glittered against her palm and Meredith remembered the months away from her father, and how she dreamed of him when he was deployed overseas.
"Diana, I have a gift for you." She held up the heart necklace.
Diana squealed. "Mommy, it's so pretty!"
Meredith motioned for her daughter to turn around, and when she did, she parted Diana's hair in the back and clasped the necklace.
"Now sweetie you need to be very careful with this, okay? You let Daddy help you. Do you understand?"
Diana nodded, her dark, obsidian curls bobbing along with her movement. "Yes, Mama."
Meredith kissed her daughter's cheek. "Good girl."
She swung Diana's body in the air and helped her crawl onto her back, carrying her into the living room just as the doorbell rang.
Meredith yanked open the door, and Diana sprung into her Father's arms.
"Papa!" she shrieked.
Luc's eyes widened as he caught her just in time and swung his daughter around. "Comment-va ma petite étoile?"
"Très bien, Papa," Diana replied with slurred French.
He set Diana on her feet and rubbed the top of her head.
"Sweetie, why don't you go grab your bag and Mr. Pig?" Meredith smiled down at her.
When the little girl was gone, Meredith said, "I gave her a necklace, just make sure she doesn't lose it."
Luc nodded stiffly, scratching the back of his neck. "Sure. Um. . . just text me when you get there."
Meredith nodded too, "Of course."
Diana came bounding back into the room. "Ready, Papa." She thrust her small suitcase into Luc's hand and skipped over to her mother.
Meredith lifted Diana and hugged her closely. "I love you, baby."
"I love you too, Mama." And then, they kissed goodbye.
Meredith waved as they walked to the elevator. When the doors closed, Meredith walked back and headed to her room, grabbing the book off her bed and tucking it in her suitcase. She grabbed the gold necklace out of her pocket and slipped it inside a small pocket in her bag as well.
After stripping and changing into her silky pajamas, she slipped into bed, a mystery novel in hand, and shuddered at the feel of the cool sheets. The memories of the past haunting her.
"I can't believe I have to dance with you right now." Meredith sighed into his chest, her eyes rolling in exasperation.
The man she was dancing with let out a breathy laugh. "I think there's more to that you're not saying."
He spun her once, her hair flowing behind her in its chocolatey wake, and she settled back into his arms as they swayed back into the rhythm of the soft music.
"More that I'm not saying? What are you, a psychiatrist?" Meredith's eyebrow popping up in accusation.
"How about this, after we do what we came to do, we head back to our room and be real lovers." His breath brushed her neck, creeping a blush up to her cheeks. She let him lead her across the dance room-her body may be constrained in his embrace but her mind was soaring across the room, his proposal swelling in her mind. "You're free to experience anything you want. And I know you want this."
They glided around the room, no words spoken between them. When the song came into an abrupt end, he whispered in her ear, "I wanted you the moment I first laid eyes on you. The top two buttons off your shirt undone was killing me. And now, you in this dress. . ." His fingertips traced the bare skin of her spine, ". . . It's too much."
Meredith quivered under his touch, her breath coming out as a small, soft stutter. Her brown eyes moved up his arm, looking briefly at his lips, and toward his mesmerizing gray eyes. And when they looked upon each other's eyes, he knew what she wanted, and she knew he knew it, too.
Meredith recalled this moment when they first danced right over the line and moved beyond anything of reason. She thought about it over and over when she was alone, when no one could judge her for remembering that part of him. No one knew, but she still felt the accusations, even when there were none. She obsessed about understanding him, as the thought of him filled her every empty moment.
Like now, as she lay alone in bed, her long-forgotten book atop her stomach. The only companion she had, Diana gone. She laid there and stared through the wall as if her gaze could pierce it, wondering about him and how things could have been. What she had dreamed for their future together. Gone forever.
Author's Note:
I'd like to thank my fabulous editor @solitarypathways for everything she does. And you guys for sticking around another chapter. Thanks!!
-Anna