london was ... london felt like coming home after a long holiday.
i must be one of the only people in the world who thinks london is beautiful. to the normal person it's scary and fast and ugly and rough. but to me, to me london is perfect.
i'd spent the last two days sorting my flat out and making sure everything was in order. matty had swung by to help me set up my dismantlement bed, shift gemma's sofa and put the cot pieces together.
my parents were babysitting rose tonight and i was about to call matty to ask him to come over when i realised i still hadn't told george i was back. i mean, he knew because of matty but it wasn't the same. i couldn't fix what me and matty had been he caused it and not even talk to george.
i decided i was going to call george,call matty, drop rose off at my mums and prepare the rest of the flat for tonight. i just really wanted us to be okay now. i was strong enough to have let him back into my life, i wanted it to stay that way.
i also needed to tell gemma about matty, of course we had spoke since everything but i just hadn't told her yet. i didn't want to lie to her but i also didn't want her to think i was being sucked back in. i was strong enough to tackle everything this time around and i just wanted to make sure she knew this before she knew the truth.
first to tackle was george
*phone to george*
"who is this?" i heard a gruff voice at the other end
"uh its ... it's grace"
"grace?" he said in almost disbelief, the surprise hurt me
"yeah uhm hey?"
"grace im- are you free?"
"uh?" i answered
"sorry ... too forward?" he asked sounded worried
"no! uh no, give me like 2 hours?"
"the old coffee shop?" george asked
"i didn't think you remembered"
"how could i not?" he laughed
"see you soon" i said
"okay!" he chuckled ending the call
it was easier than i thought, i mean i hadn't seen him in about 8 months now, that's a long time to go without speaking to someone. i was afraid it would be skewed but at the same time he agreed to meet? surely there was hope
matty was next on my call list,
he picked up after the first ring which warmed my heart, i didn't have to worry anymore, we were each others
*phone to matty*
"hey" he said
"my mums babysitting rose tonight" i told matty over the phone
"oh yeah?"
"i have a bottle of red with your name on it"
"i'll be right round gracey"
"give me like a couple hours" i said
"why?"
"i'm seeing george! and i have to tell gemma about us and then drop rose off"
"you're seeing george?" he asked surprised
"it makes no sense to forgive you and not him"
"i'm proud of you baby, do you want me to drop rose off?"
"would you?@
"of course! i'll be round in an hour"
"thankyou"
"no problem grace" he said ending the call
i knew i had to calm gemma but i also had to clean the flat and see george so i decided i'd multi task. facetime her WHILE cleaning.
*face time to gem*
"hey fav baby is back huh" she said as the call started up
"hey gems!" i beamed
"you okay?"
"yeah! london is .. i missed it"
"uh oh"
"what?"
"you have something to tell me don't you" she said reading my mind
i abalones eye contact with her for a second before looking back at my phone screen and and nodding
"go on" she said
"me and matty we ... kinda back together? it's not what you think though, it's on my terms i promise"
she looked sad for a minute until i told her it was on my terms,
"oh, i mean i didn't see this coming but if you're sure then, you just spent so much time getting away from him"
"i know and i was reluctant at first but he opened up and didn't make excuses, since rehab he is different and i know you see that"
"he is" she admitted
"and i know i'm stupid and-"
"no, you're not grace, you're strong for doing this, i know you want rose to have the best home life and i know you just want a happy ending"
"i love you so much gem" i said looking st my hands
"i love you"
"when are you coming back?" i asked
"i've not been gone long"
"i miss you so much" i admitted
"i miss you but i promise i'll be back soon yeah?"
"promise?" i asked
"promise"
"what's in other news then?" i asked her
"nothing for me, you?"
"i'm seeing george!"
"good, george is a good guy" she said
"i just don't have anyone here now i don't have you"
"carly?" she asked
"she's too involved with gabby and i don't want that"
"you'll find your footing okay? i better go though"
"okay gem, love you"
"love you"
as soon as the call ended i already missed her, what i said was true. i didn't have any friends here apart from matty and maybe george. i'd cut everyone off from the band. i had my brother and lewis but they weren't so much my friend more family. it just wasn't the same and i wished i had more friends. i wished i had gemma.
1 hour later
the flat was tidy and matty was at the door for rose. i was still in grey sweatpants and a white crop top so i needed to change to see george. i let matty in and be completely disregarded the awful way i looked. i really loved him for this.
"want me to wait until your ready to go?" he asked while i walked to my room to change
"would you?"
"of course" he said
i chose a black skirt, tan tights and burgundy cropped jumper. i paired them with ankle high boots. i brushed my hair and left it straight and for makeup i just used powder and brow pencil.
i looked in the mirror, i looked like me. i mean i always looked like me but now i looked like me before rose, i looked younger and more carefree and i liked it. i was 19 after all.
"ready!" i called coming into the living room where matty was sat with rose already in her travel seat
"wanna lift?" he asked
"uh yeah actually i can uber back"
"don't be silly i'll wait" he laughed
we walked to his black range rover and i sat in the passenger side while he sorted out rose. once we had dropped her at my my mums with her overnight bag packed with the essentials. my mum was happy to see me and matty together but she gave me a look like she was confused. you and everyone else mum. i was having a family meal with them all next week so i guessed id just explain it all then.
we set off to the old coffee shop, matty kept looking at me, i think he's worried i'm not okay
"i'm fine you know!" i laughed
"i just know you went through a lot and it took a long time to forgive me"
"i just want to put it all behind me and i can't really do that if i'm still holding grudges"
"you're very strong grace" he said
i wanted to cry, i really did and everything to be okay now. i'd been through so much and i just wanted it to be easy sailing from here
"matty?" i said as we pulled up and he turned off the car
"yes gracey?"
"i love you" i said looking into his dark eyes, the bags underneath them didn't make in look old or tired anymore, he looked younger, more relaxed and now just like a dad
"i love you"
"i don't think i ever really stopped even though what you did broke me"
"i am sorry" he said
"it's okay, we are okay"
"have a good time yeah?" he said
"see ya"
"seeya soon darling" he said starting the car up again as i shut the door and walked towards the glass door of the coffee shop.
me and george went here a lot especially with lia. the whole place was so rustic and it had old decorations hanging from the felling. it was more of an expirnece than a coffee shop but it made me feel so safe, i was in love with the place.
i saw george straight away, he was sat on the sofas in the corner of the room with two coffees at either side of the table, one for him and one for me. my heart melted.
he saw me instantly and stood up to greet me, i saw tears in his eyes and i felt the exact same way, i fell into his arms instantly and began to cry like a baby
"i'm sorry" he whispered into my hair
"no i am" i said as i cried more into his chest
"we are too emotional" he laughed wiping his eyes, i did the same with the napkin from the table
"i've missed you so much georgie i should have picked the phone up and called-"
"no grace, i lied to you, you had every right to be mad"
"you were my best friend i just"
"i hate that i lied grace u just didn't think you could take anymore pain"
"i couldn't" i agreed
"i just wished you told me"
his eyes didn't meet mine
"but we have months to account for now"
"tell me everything" he asked
"where do i start?"
"the beginning" he said with a cheeky smile