Camila's POV
So my party was everything I didn't ask for. It definitely wasn't small, I can tell you that. It looked like Lauren's party, actually it was even worse. I literately only knew 5 out of the 500 people here. Apart from it being HUGE, it was nice. Ally had decorated it very nicely, Mani clearly did her job, Siope fulfilled his promise, and Ariana had managed to bring all the food and hire a great DJ. It was going great, until I heard the door bell ring on my way to get a cup of water from the kitchen. I thought that it was odd that the person behind the door didn't just barge in. Because I mean, there was a party going on after all. None the less though, I approached the door. And to my surprise, behind it stood Lauren.
When her eyes met mine suddenly everything disappeared. Her mouth dropped as she analyzed me. And as much as I tried to control myself, my jaw dropped too. Again, Lauren had not failed to impress me. She was wearing a white Let it roll crop top, black leather shorts and black opened toed strap heels. On her face, she wore minimal make up and her cherry pigmented chap stick. Her eyes pierced through mine thoughtfully. I could tell that she wanted to say something but her body was not responding and neither was mine.
"..."
We stared at each other for what seemed a long time, until she finally broke the impending silence, "Hi."
"Uh...hi."
"Happy birthday..." Lauren congratulated me with a small smile.
"Thanks...but um... if you don't mind me asking, why are you here?"
"I heard you were having a party and I just wanted to check up on my favorite nerd to see how everything was going."
"Why would you need to check up on me?"
"I mean I would imagine that this is your first party right?"
"Yeah..."
"That's why. You're very inexperienced Camz, and I just wanted to make sure that you're okay."
"Well thank you for you're concern Lauren, but I'm fine."
She nodded her head, uncertain of what to say next. "You look great by the way..."
I shook my head at her cute attempt to continue the conversation, "Thank you Lauren. Do you want to come in?"
"Well, I was planning on coming in anyways, but now that you offered, sure." Lauren quipped.
I shook my head lightly and stepped aside to let her in.
When I closed the door behind me, I realized she was gone. She must of been doing her thing already, after all she was Lauren Jauregui. I did find it weird that she showed up though. I mean I understood that my "small" party had become an open party but she was the last person that I thought would show up. It both scared and overwhelmed me. When I opened the door and met her captivating eyes, it brought back so many memories. Not just of Siope's party, but everything. Its hard looking into the eyes you fell in love with because no matter how much you refuse too, you see everything that was left behind. You see all the things that only live on as memories and nothing else. In that moment, I felt like it was right on my part to let her in. It was a way to show myself that I could live without her, even when she was under the same roof as me. I guess you could call it practicing but it was a good way of testing my self control. So far I had done a pretty good job of forgetting about her. That is until she showed up today. Something about the look in her eyes was different, something about her intentions, smile, the words that escaped her mouth... was different. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there was something different about Lauren Jauregui. And...it was bringing me back to her again.
"Mila?" I heard Ariana say, bringing me out of my daze.
I shook my head lightly and turned to meet her gaze, " What's up?"
"You're missing your party. Why are you standing here?" She asked referring towards the doorway.
Shit.
"I thought I heard the bell."
She chuckled and shook her head lightly, "No one rings the bells at parties Mila... god you're cute."
I laughed nervously and scratched the nape of my neck before she grasped my hand and pulled me outside into the huge crowd of people. At first the sudden change in movement made me feel uncomfortable. It was weird feeling a bunch of bodies brush against yours, but I sucked it up and started dancing along with my friends who surrounded me. Again, the music was kind of tacky so I did my signature move and accompanied it by many more lame moves. It was when Dreaming by Small Pools started playing when I didn't know what to do. Ariana tried to guide me but I failed miserably every time. Dancing was something that never came naturally to me. It just wasn't in my blood, so I wasn't surprised when I failed to learn from Ariana's instruction. I honestly kind of felt bad. Like if maybe I was embarrassing her. So I told her that she could go dance with her friends who have been eyeing her the whole night. She refused at first, but I could genuinely see that her friends were missing her. Especially since lately, she's been with me 24/7. So I managed to convince her to go, even if it was just for a while. I continued to dance terribly with my friends until they too got casted away from the constant movement of the crowd. It was now just me, Ally and Dar. We made sure to stay close so that we would remain together. But that didn't last long. I suddenly felt someone's stare. It was almost as if it was penetrating through me. The force behind it, attracted me and caused me to look for the source. I looked around until I was met by a pair of green eyes. I instantly knew who those eyes belonged too. She was staring at me from the distance, while some guy was trying to pull a move on her. It was as if he was irrelevant and only I mattered. She stared right through him and watched me dance. I saw a smile curl up on her face when she realized that I had been doing the same thing. At that second I reminded myself, You have a girlfriend camila, Yes a girlfriend.
And with that I managed to get myself together. I quickly averted her gaze and pretended as if I never saw her. After a few seconds though, curiosity got the best of me and I looked back. To my surprise she was gone. It honestly relieved me to know that I wouldn't have to power through her gaze again, but once again I was wrong. I felt someone's warm breath hit against my neck before they whispered, "You're doing it wrong Cabello."
Before I could turn to meet the husky voice I had been trying to avoid all night, she grasped my wrist and casted me away into the deep bowels of the crowd. When we stopped, I shot her a glare. "What the hell Lauren."
"I'm sorry I just couldn't stand watching whatever that was."
I rolled my eyes at her.
"It was cute, but..." She said uncertain of what she should say, " never mind, here just follow my lead." She said before she began to sway her hips to the beat of the music.
"I can't-."
"Yes you can. Just shut up and try."
I stubbornly agreed. I tried to copy her movement but it didn't feel right. "God you're stiff." She said before she placed her hands on my hips. She began to move my hips for me until I eventually got used to the movement and became familiar with it. She did the same with my arms and clearly explained what to do with my feet. Oddly enough, I sort of got it. I mean I think I figured it out since it seemed like I was in sync with her.
After a while I had realized where her hands were placed and that she had been restraining her self from placing them on her favorite spot. She noticed my uneasiness and she too realized what she had been doing.
"Shit." She muttered to herself.
"It's okay Lauren. You didn't mean to-"
"-I did. Thats the thing Camz."
"..."
"You should go back to your friends. I'm sure they're looking for you."
I nodded before I turned on my heel and left her in between the crowd of dancing teenagers.
I didn't understand why this was so hard for Lauren. Why it was so hard for her to restrain herself. Why she couldn't avoid me. But more importantly, why she couldn't just forget about me.
As I made my way out of the crowd and into the clearing where my friends sat at a table, the answer became clear. The reason why Lauren still wanted me is because she couldn't have me. I already belonged to someone else and that made me her guilty pleasure.
"Hey Mila, where were you?" Ariana asked with a hint of concern evident in her voice.
"I...was catching up with an old friend." I lied.
"Old friend?" Ariana asked cocking her brow.
"Yes, just a friend."
"Alright. I'm glad your back." Ariana said before she pecked my lips.
I smiled and redirected my attention to my friends after I pulled away from our kiss.
"Drink?" Siope said handing me a red cup.
"Sure..." I agreed and got it from him.
In the corner of my eye I noticed Darren snickering to himself. I didn't know why he was doing that but something about me being gone amused him.
"So Mila, how do you like your party so far?"Dinah suddenly asked.
"Well, clearly..." I said trying to find the right words to say. "It's not small."
Mani laughed nervously, "Sorry about that. I couldn't resist."
"I know." I said giving her a look.
"But besides that, what do you think?" Ally asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and took a seat beside Ariana, "It's great." I simply said.
Dinah rolled her eyes cockily, "Well I mean, y'all had the best supervisor in the business so I mean..."
Ariana slapped her arm playfully, "You swear you were the brains behind this whole operation."
"Um because I was. Ima boss. I know everything about my best friend. What she likes. What she doesn't like. Everything. So believe it or not y'all needed me."
I rolled my eyes playfully at Dinah for being Dinah, while everyone else chuckled heartily.
"Anyways..." Dinah said through the group's laughter. "I don't know when it would be an appropriate time to do this but now seems like a good time." She paused before she pulled out an small box. "Mila, it's your 18th birthday. And you've been my best friend since the whom and I can't thank you enough for it. I love you for being you but more importantly for putting up with me and being ny friend. Love you Chancho, happy birthday." She said before handing me the box.
It was covered in 1D wrapping paper and a blue bow. Well that isn't obvious.
I smiled and set the box down before I engulfed Dinah into a huge hug, "Thanks Chee Chee. I love you too."
I heard Dinah smile before I pulled out of our embrace and unwrapped the box. I opened it and there in the box sat an Ed Sheeran autographed Cd.
"Plot twist. The 1D wrapping paper was a decoy for the real surprise."
I felt my jaw drop as I picked up the Cd in my hands. "Is...is this real?!"
"Of course it's real. It cost me way too much not to be."
I felt my mouth curl up into a huge smile. I set the cd down and engulfed Dinah into a huge hug again. "Thanks D. I love it!"
"No problem Mila." Dinah said as she stroked my hair.
"Eheem." Darren cleared his throat. " You know, she's not the only one who got you something."
"Yeah... I mean you do have 5 other people who simply adore you." Ally noted.
"5?"
"Us plus the jocks." Mani clarified.
"Oh that's right." I said scratching the nape of my neck.
"Well. Dinah stole my speech so here you go Mila. Love you." Darren said handing me a box.
"Same." Ally and Mani simultaneously said before they handed me their gift.
"Guys-" I began to say before Ariana cut me off.
"Well, she didn't take mine. I haven't known you that long Mila, but I really like you, like a lot. And I know you well enough to get you this." Ariana said retrieving a huge box from under the table.
I looked at the box in wonder. "What is it?"
"Open it." She simply replied back.
I did what she said and inside the box was a mic,laptop adaptor, and other essential things you would find in a recording studio.
"I fell for you when I heard your voice for the first time. So I wanted to get you this kit because I know how much you love to sing and how much I love to hear you sing and-"
"I love it." I interrupted her rambling.
"Really?"
"Yes. I do. Thank you babe."
"Your welcome." Ariana gently smiled.
I returned her smile before I pecked her lips quickly as a token of my gratitude.
"Eheem." Darren interrupted again.
"Right." I said shaking my head lightly. I unwrapped his box and inside it was a 1D's new Cd. It wasn't even out yet. How-, I wondered shaking my head lightly.
"Don't act like your not fan girling inside."
I smiled like an idiot and shook my head again because I couldn't believe it, "Thanks Dar, but like... how did you get it?"
"Let's just say I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows this guys cousin, who works for Syco records."
"You're lying."
"Nope. I met him at a club a few weeks ago. Not the Syco records guy, the guy who knows a guy-"
"I get it." I interrupted him.
He chuckled to himself before he said, "Happy Birthday Mila."
"Thanks Dar. Love you."
"So you finally forgive me for the present thing?"
"I've already forgiven you. You idiot."
"Okay good, just checking. Love you too Mila."
"So, Ally and I..." Mani began, "We both pitched in to get you something that we think you'll love."
"Yeah, Happy birthday Mila." Ally said before she pushed their gift closer to me.
I smiled at them and opened the box, Inside was a $100 dollar gift card for 1D merch.
"You guys know me so well." I said ripping the card out of it's case.
"Your welcome Mila, we love you. Happy birthday." Ally smiled.
I smiled like an idiot. "I love you guys too. Thank you!"
"No problem." Mani smiled back.
I looked at the card anxiously.
"Chill there tiger. The merch will still be there tomorrow."Darren said.
"Seriously Mila, you look like your about to cash that thing out." Dinah noted.
"You're right. Why did you guys give me this? Haven't you heard? You shouldn't let this type of power fall into the wrong hands." I joked.
"That's true." Siope said giving the girls a meaningful look.
"Hey. The important thing is that she loved it." Mani defended.
We all laughed heartily until my peace was disturbed by the sound of a familiar voice that walked past our table.
I turned and saw Lauren walking with a college girl. She was using her charm to flirt with her. She had to of been because the girl was giggling and smiling like an idiot. I didn't realize but Ariana had put her hand over mine to calm me down. My fists had been clenched together so tight that I had failed to notice. After Lauren was completely lost into the crowd of drunk teenagers, Ariana asked if she could talk to me. And I agreed. We excused ourselves from the group and went over to the side to talk.
"Are you okay?" Ariana asked concerned.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know. It's just when Lauren passed by with that girl...you suddenly got angry."
"..."
"You did get angry didn't you? Or did I misinterpret that?"
"No you're right. I did."
"And are you okay now?"
"Does it look like I'm okay now?" I snapped at her.
"Mila..."
"Sorry. You know I didn't mean that."
"I know. Don't worry about it. I just hate how she can get under your skin like that."
"Me too."
"Why is she even here?"
"I don't know." I honestly replied.
"You don't?"
"No I don't. She just showed up."
"Wait you knew she was here?"
Shit.
"Yeah. I saw her-"
"-When?"
"When... You know...I told you that I thought someone rang the doorbell. It turned out that...someone actually did and it happened to be her."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because...I didn't want to make it a big deal."
"But it is a big deal. You can't have someone like her around on your special day to make you feel like crap. It's your day Mila. You don't need that type of negative energy around."
"I don't mind Ariana. Lauren's not doing anything-"
"You're defending her now?"
"I'm not-"
"How can you defend her after what she did?"
"You're not listening!"
"No, you're not listening to yourself. You let her in Mila. And as long as you let her come into your life, you'll never be able to shake her."
"That's not true-"
"-and another thing is..." Ariana began to raise her voice, "that you lied to me again. I need you to be completely honest with me. We can't have Lauren controlling you like that-"
"-You don't even know what you're talking about. Just please-"
"Stop? I will. I'll leave you to think about it for a while. When you're ready to talk and tell me everything, you can find me with my friends. Don't hesitate to come to me when your ready. Have fun babe. Enjoy the rest of your party." She said and suppressed a smile before she kissed my lips.
After that, she left. She left me in a bitter sweet way. And it was because of Lauren. I don't know why I lied to Ariana but I just did. I didn't feel comfortable with her knowing that Lauren was here and that I let her in. And I knew that it was my fault that she was mad at me for it. And honestly I felt terrible. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and I really didn't want to do this right now. Not at my birthday party. I wiped a few of my tears away with the back of my hand, then from the corner of my eye, I noticed that I had not been the only one who witnessed our fight. Off in the distance someone's stare was penetrating through me. I didn't have to look to know who it was but I did anyway. When I did, I meet the green eyes responsible for my tears. When our eyes met, she looked concerned and excused herself from that college girl. She started to make her way towards me but she was honesty the last person I wanted to talk to right now. So I quickly made my way up to my room before she could get to me.
When I opened the door I wasted no time in closing it and slumping onto my bed. I let the tears roll down my cheeks effortlessly. But after a while of crying, I got tired and eventually stopped. I was stuck staring at my blank wall for the remainder of the time, until I heard the door open behind me.
I didn't bother to look up because I really didn't care who it was. But I automatically figured it out when I heard their husky voice say, "Camz?"
Fear got the best of me and caused me to jump and sit up in response to her sudden presence, "Shit. You scared me." I said holding onto my chest as I regained my composure.
"Sorry. I was just...worried. I saw you outside crying and-"
"-It's nothing."
"It couldn't of been nothing if you were crying. Tell me what happened."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because... it's your fault."
She looked shocked, "What did I do?"
"You came. That's what you did."
"I'm sorry Camz. I didn't know that you didn't want me here. You should've told me."
"That's the thing Lauren. I did want you here. Actually I didn't mind at all."
"Then what's the problem?"
"My girlfriend. She kind of got mad that I let you come in and didn't tell her."
"Wait why would she get mad?"
Shit.
"I sort of told her what happened." I revealed.
"You what?!"
"I told her what happened with us."
"Why did you do that?"
"Because she was starting to figure it herself and I couldn't lie to her anymore."
Lauren shook her head and muttered, "Fuck."
"She's not going to say anything. She promised."
Lauren sighed, "Let's just hope she keeps that promise."
"She will..."
"Okay... but that still doesn't explain why you didn't tell her that I was here."
"It was because...I don't know." I said trying to figure it out myself.
Lauren smirked.
"Why are you smiling like that?"
"Because I'm still your secret."
"What?"
"You're still hiding me from her. You feel like you have to lie about me. Like you have to lie about us."
"No-" I started to protest.
Lauren chuckled to herself, "Whatever, listen that's irrelevant. I didn't come here just for the hell of it."
"What do you mean?"
Lauren hesitated.
"Why did you come here Lauren?"
"Because... I wanted to see if I could stay away from you for the night, but clearly I'm here now so I'm fucking failing right now. But more importantly, it's your birthday....and I got you something."
"Failing? And you didn't have to Lauren."
"Long story. But yes I did, here." She said handing me a gift wrapped in blue wrapping paper that she had been holding in her hands and that I had failed to notice. It was a medium sized box that was very light. I handed it back to her because I couldn't accept it.
"Lauren... thank you but-"
"No buts. Open it."
"Lauren..." I began to protest.
"I can't return it so either you accept it or you let my money go to waste."
I flared out my nostrils in frustration and stubbornly opened it. She smiled in response to her victory. I opened the box and inside of it was a book.
"I know I'm a brain Lauren but a book is a little too-"
"Look at the title Camz." Lauren interrupted me.
I read it and it was Staying Strong by Demi Lovato. I smiled and then noticed something sticking out of the book. A book mark maybe. I flipped through the pages until I got to a page where an object was resting in the crease of the book. I picked it up and pratically dropped the book when I read what the piece of paper had written on it. It was a VIP meet & greet for the concert tickets that Lauren and I had won.
I looked at her in disbelief, "How?!Why?!" I stammered.
"I knew that the concert was sold out so I asked one of my mom's friends to do me a solid and get it for you. And the reason why I got it for you is because you love Demi. And I'm sure you would love to thank her for everything she's done for you."
"Lauren..." I breathed as the ticket jerked around in my trembling hands.
"Happy Birthday Camz."
"I can't accept this."
"You've already have."
I shook my head in disbelief again. "Thank you Lauren. Thank you so much."
She smiled gently, "Anything for my favorite nerd."
I returned her smile and set the ticket back into the crease of the book and slipped it under my pillow.
She grabbed the box that was sitting on top of my comforter and handed it back to me, "I don't think you looked well enough."
"There's more?"
"I don't know check."
I took the box from her and inside it was a Harry Styles plush. I pulled it out and looked at her in confusion. "Why did you get me this?"
"Because...when you were drunk, you bargained your body for a stupid bet that supposedly guaranteed you a Harry Styles. And I remember that I saved you from those college jerks and you were complaining afterwords about how angry you were at me because you really wanted a Harry styles. And well here it is." She said tapping the plushes head.
"Oh my god. I really don't any of that." I said shaking my head lightly. "So is this supposed to be a joke?" I said holding up the plush.
"Sort of. I just thought that I'd get you one since you complained so much about it."
"Ha ha ha well arn't you charming."
"I am. And very."
I smiled and rolled my eyes playfully.
"There it is."
"There's what?"
"Your smile. I missed it."
"Lauren..." I began to scold her.
"I know, sorry. I just can't help it sometimes."
"I don't understand why you can't though. Has it ever crossed your mind why it's so hard for you?"
"Why what's so hard for me?"
"I don't know if it's a figure of my imagination but I notice how hard it is for you to stay away from me."
"Its not your imagination. And because of it, I ask myself that question everyday."
"..."
" I think you already know that it's your fault Camz. I don't know why I can't just forget about you. But I can't and I can't do anything about it."
"Yes you can. You've done it before, just do it again."
"It's not that simple Camz. You're not like any of those other girls. You're different. And you're interesting. And I like that."
"Lauren-"
"You never gave me the chance to figure things out on my own. But all I know now is that I want you Camz." She said grasping my hands.
"Lauren I already told you. That's not enough."
"Yes it is. Don't you understand? I've never loved anyone because I don't know how. But I really want you. Isn't that enough for a person like me?"
"No. Because people like you only want me because you can't have me."
"That's not true. I've wanted you since the day I saved you. I was just waiting for the right chance to have you."
I furrowed my brows in confusion.
"You were the only one who saw me differently. You saw things about me that weren't supposed to be noticed. I've gone through my life thinking that those things were my flaws, but you didn't. You actually loved me for them. And since that day, believe it or not its been the thing that's been bringing me back to you. It wasn't the thing that made me want you though. The more I saw and got to know you, the more beautiful you became and that made you my strange desire."
All this new information was starting to make every atom in my body forgive her. But I knew that I couldn't. I knew that it would be wrong for me to forgive her. There was already someone else in my life that beat her to it. And I wasn't going to let Ariana go because I couldn't lose her. I might of have not loved Ariana but I knew that she was the safe choice. And I wasn't going to ruin that because I knew that sometimes the safe choice wasn't always the right choice, but in this case it was, especially in regards to Lauren Jauregui.
I took a deep breath before I spoke again, "The thing that sucks about time is that sometimes it doesn't work in your favor. And now your too late Lauren. I'm happy with Ariana. She wants me for who I am and loves me for it. Being wanted isn't enough for me, even for a person like you."
"Bullshit."
"What?"
"You can't say that when you still look at me like I'm the love of your life. You fucking love me and I fucking want you Camz. That's fucking enough. You're just scared. You're scared that I'll hurt you again. But the thing that's stopping you the most isn't self pain, it's inflicting pain on others. You don't want to hurt Ariana because you feel like she's doing you a favor. Like you don't deserve someone like her because she's given up so much to be with you. But you know what?!"
"What?!" I said as tears streamed down my cheeks from hearing the truth.
"Fuck your girlfriend." Lauren said before she cupped my cheeks and aggressively latched her lips onto mine.
--
Sorry for the delay something came up. But here it is. I'll update later this week.
Love you guys,
hoplessromantic143