"Kept your beauty whole
Don't need my help to grow
But I can show that you, babe
Slow down"
"Slow Down" - Jesper Munk
Bucky had no idea how Ophelia could sleep.
Okoye, T'Challa and Shuri were up at the front of the Wakandan ship, while Bucky and Ophelia sat in the comfortable and spacious back. After having finally come to terms with the fact Steve was gone, and O was back, Bucky introduced Ophelia to the others. Of course, she had known T'Challa, but had not seen his shift in attitude towards Bucky. Ophelia had already been near deaths door when T'Challa had a change of heart.
But all of that was in the past now.
A smile traced his lips as he looked at Ophelia, curled up on her side on the bench-seat. There were televisions on the futuristic jet, but none of them were on. The news would be ravaged with good things, for the first time ever. People brought back, half the universe brought back. He hoped that serenity would last, he hoped that the world would have a new appreciation for one another, that he would not have to face another fight again.
He wouldn't. Not now that he had Ophelia back.
When Bucky introduced O to T'Challa, she had been skeptical. The last memory she had of him was him walking away in Siberia, not willing to lay his life on the line to protect the people she loved. To protect her. But if anyone was forgiving, it was Ophelia. She had no idea what Wakanda was really like, though she had been there, she had never seen the place, experienced its beauty.
Bucky ran his hand over his face- he needed to shave. But that was the least of his worries. A paranoia built up in his chest that none of this was real. When he had been in a cryogenic chamber, he had seen Ophelia in his dreams every day. He remembered reliving the pain of losing her when he woke up from that chamber. He remembered longing to sleep just to see her face, and yet it was never real. He looked at Ophelia, asleep before him, and remembered taking control of his dreams and telling her goodbye.
He had sent her away so that he could live in real life, not in his dreams.
It was a silly thing to feel guilty about, and yet, he did.
Glad that she wouldn't ever get into his head and see everything, the warzone that was his brain, he breathed out in relief. Bucky rose from his seat and went to the bench that Ophelia was resting on. Carefully, he sat down beside her, and lifted her head into his lap. His hand rested on her shoulder; he just needed the physical contact to believe that any of this was real.
She had haunted him in his dreams, and when Thanos arrived in Wakanda, he abused that.
He made Bucky think he had lived a year with Ophelia in Wakanda -that she had woken up from her comatose state, that she had survived the head injury caused by Tony Stark in Siberia. The whole time, he knew it couldn't have been real, and yet he clutched onto it. It was the last thing he remembered before he turned to dust -a false life with Ophelia.
Now his head battled what was real and what was fake. He was terrified to open up, to let her in, knowing that she might disappear again.
He wondered, was this how she felt when they were prisoners in Siberia? When she saw him over the years knowing who he was and wondering if The Winter Soldier would ever be Bucky again? She suffered through it, and never made a fuss about it. Why couldn't he come to terms with the fact he was given yet another chance to live his life with her?
Refusing to take his eyes off of her, Bucky wondered if he would ever sleep again.
"We are here, Sergeant Barnes," T'Challa said from the front.
Bucky looked down at Ophelia again, gentle fingertips caressing her cheek. He wanted her to see this place, so he shook her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open, big green eyes studying the jet before her, then looking up and smiling at Bucky.
He could barely speak, but managed to squeeze out the words, "I think you'd like to see this."
She rose slowly, not bothering to suppress the yawn that overtook her. Bucky got to his feet and together they looked out the windows. Before them was the vast forest, then they broke through the barrier that hid Wakanda from the world. Soaring over the massive, roaring river, and between caverns and mountains, Okoye flew the ship with expertise. Ophelia looked at the wilderness, something she had seen very little of in her life. Other than the mountains in Siberia, she had never seen anything quite like this.
While Ophelia watched Wakanda appear before her, from beautiful landscapes to a city that was equally as gorgeous, Bucky watched Ophelia's face light up.
A reminder that she was real, that this was real.
They landed the ship and filed out, Ophelia still craning her neck to look at everything.
"Everything is how we left it," T'Challa said to Bucky. "Your home and land are still where they were. But tonight, you can stay in a room here. Shuri would like to do some tests on Ophelia, not tonight, but soon."
"Tests?" Bucky inquired protectively.
"Your enhancement," Shuri said to Ophelia. "I'm fascinated, and to ensure that there is nothing in there that should not be. HYDRA programming, brain damage from another time..."
Ophelia nodded. "I've never had someone look inside my head, except Wanda."
"But tonight," T'Challa intervened, "we will let them get their rest."
Shuri glanced at her brother and rolled her eyes, only Ophelia caught it, and a smile inched onto her lips. Then, she showed them to their room where they could stay for a few nights until they were settled in. Then Bucky could show Ophelia where he lived for some time after waking from cryo.
***
When they were alone at last, Bucky felt his knees go weak.
The room was massive, the entrance stepped down into a living room with a far-from modest couch. There was a bedroom to the right, and a full-sized kitchen as well. Not once in his life had he had a luxury like this.
Ophelia slid her petite hands around his wrists, bringing both of his hands up to her lips. She kissed his real knuckles, then the ones on his new vibranium arm. Bucky slipped his hands over her cheeks, then around to the back of her head, fingertips in her hair. She moaned ever so slightly, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch.
"There is so much I want to know," she said.
"There is so much I want to tell you, and I don't know where to start," Bucky replied in a whisper.
"Start with what is troubling you." She looked up at him, right into his eyes.
"No." He shook his head. "Not that. I may not have been alive for the past five years, but I was awake for some time without you -every day hurt. Now that I have you back, I'm not going to sour it with what's troubling me. The fact is, you're here, and nothing should be troubling me."
"And yet..."
He placed his finger on her lips. "Not tonight. Please."
It was what Ophelia had said to him back in the motel, when he was torn between The Winter Soldier and Bucky, trapped in his own head. He had demanded she create the mental bridge in his head, to flush out the memories so that he could remember who he was. She had told him no, it was too much for her. Now, it was too much for him to explain that he was having a hard time accepting the one thing he had wanted for so long: having her back.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep, but if I do, I want to wake up next to you. I think... That will be the first step to wrapping my head around the fact that you're really here," Bucky said.
She smiled, turning away from him yet still holding onto one of his hands. She guided him through the living room towards the bedroom. The frosted glass doors opened as they neared them, sensing their presence, and revealed a king bed with silky-looking sheets.
"Well, it's no mattress on the floor in our apartment in Bucharest, but it'll do," she said with a smile.