Sai
I walked back into Keon's apartment to start getting ready. I would have to go by the house after dinner since I ran out of time. Plus it's two hours from the time we're supposed to get there and I haven't even showered.
"Key? You here?" I shouted. I heard some footsteps and assumed it was him.
"Nah, why?" I rolled my eyes and walked to the bedroom.
Sliding off my Birkenstocks, I plopped on the bed. "I'm so tired, honestly I don't feel like going."
"Mhm," he started to scroll through his phone. "I was running all over Atlanta, then I had to drive to Buckhead to pick up the dresses that needed altering. I drove to my old place with Ada and walked in on her and Kai fucking.. chile."
"Yep," he responded. Keon grabbed the remote off of the edge of the bed and turned the television on. While I was talking he turned the volume on extra high.
"You really doing this lil' boy?" I side eyed him.
"I mean, I asked you the same shit this morning but you'n seem to have an answer," he shrugged his shoulders.
"Uh huh but I'm tryna talk to you."
He looked at me pouting and turned his eyes back to whatever was on the screen. "You wanna watch Friday or Friday After Next?" I grabbed the remote and turned the TV down.
It's time for me to grow up and say how I feel.
I rolled over and straddled him, completely blocking his view of the television.
"I'm sorry okay?" He blankly stared back at me. "What that mean?" His nonchalant attitude was causing me to shut down even more, but I know how lack of communication can ruin a relationship.
I tried to peck his lips but he pulled back. "Nah we gon' get through this without kissing. Your ass addictive," he smirked and ran his hands through my hair.
"I wanna be with you, and only you."
"Then why do I feel like I side piece?" Keon spat back. He was angry and had every right to be. I searched for the words that represented how I felt.
"It's crazy how you pulled me out of something I never even thought I would make it out of. He told me that he loved me and he would do anything for me. He was the first person that ever made me feel any more special than I already was. And for him to lie to my face. No, for both of them to lie to my face. For her to even start being my friend..."
I took a deep breath; my voice was starting to sound shaky.
"Then to hop into another loveless, toxic relationship. To a point where I hated myself and who I was. There were days where I no longer desired to live," I sniffled and grabbed his hand. "But then there was you. And I know shit sound sweet as fuck but I'm being forreal. You changed me for the better. I can't be sure that I would be here today if you ain't ask me to chill with you after work. Or if you never asked me on that first real date. One thing I do know is that I'm not ready to give this up."
"So I said all that romantic shit to say that you're the only person in my life. I put that to rest today. There's no one else besides you. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were second place. I wanted to wait for the wedding to pass but then I realized that time not going to stop for me."
I wanted so badly to say I love you. But I know that I always rush things, and I want this time to be well-deserved. I can't sit here lying to him and telling him how much I loved him. That would make me just as bad as Elijah or Desmond.
He kissed my lips softly and ran his thumb across my cheeks. "My bad ma I ain't mean to make you cry or nothin'. That meant a lot to a nigga though. You finally letting someone in," I rolled my eyes and wiped my face some more.
"So beautiful," he looked at me and leaned in slowly for a kiss, this one more passionate than the ones before it. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he flipped us over. He traced a trail of kisses down to my neck, causing me to drip. His hands massaged my thighs as I pulled him closer to me.
"Fifiteen minutes."
"Okay, first the newlyweds are going to dance into the reception hall. Y'all said y'all were gonna dance in to Mo Money Mo Problems?" Neisha and Shawn nodded.
"I had to give my nigga Biggie a spot in the wedding cause I know his ass wanted to be here for his favorite nephew wedding," Shawn made us all laugh.
"You swear saying that was your uncle but none of your family backing that up. Damn they not even defending your delusional ass," Ada chimed in.
"Look, that's because Unc not really even dead. See what had happened was-"
"Unt unt, do not get this one started on his conspiracy stories. He say he related to any Black celebrity in one way or another," Neisha smiled at him and rolled her eyes.
"Ight but you still marrying, me right?" She got on her tippy-toes kissed his cheek.
"Yeah whatever. Don't be too happy."
I chuckled envisioning them having kids and growing old. It honestly seemed like they were meant to be together. It gave me hope; one day I'm going to find someone that is perfect for me. And it doesn't matter if that's right now because everyone goes at their own pace.
"The MC is gonna cue y'all in and the music will play. After the couple walks in, everyone else will join; the bridal train will come in from that door, and the niggas coming in from that one." I pointed at each door respectively.
"Aye aye aye, why we gotta be niggas and y'all get to be the bRidAL tRaiN? If that's the case Sai, you shoulda said 'the bitch-"
Ada stared Kaiden down and crossed her arms. "Finish your sentence, I dare you." He put his hands up and shut his mouth.
"We see who wears the pants in the relationship," Elijah said. I mentally rolled my eyes and tried my best to ignore him.
Though I was not fond of him, he was one of Shawn's closest friends. And this was going to be the most important day of his life so far. Of course he wanted to celebrate with his bros. I had no right to be mad that his ass was here.
Tomorrow at the wedding I'm ignoring both him and Tia trifling ass. Being cordial doesn't mean being on speaking terms.
We all laughed and moved on to the next part of the agenda.
"We are going to sit at the high tables while the newlyweds share their first dance. Then father-daughter dance, and all that good shit." I checked that off my list too.
"Before we go on are y'all cool with the seating arrangement?" A few people went to inspect the name cards on each seat to make sure they were right. I also told them to check out the whole arrangement so they know where everyone else will sit.
No one complained so I walked over to the bar while they were looking around. Some Henny would do the trick right now.
I got my glass and walked back to the rehearsal dinner. "Sai. Come here girl," Bree called me over to where she and A were standing.
I took a couple sips of the drink on my way there. "Anything you wanna tell us?" I shook my head no, confused. "Bitch you not even walking straight quit fucking lyin'," Ada hit my arm.
"Can you really tell or are you dumb hoes just fooling with me?" My cheeks got hot. Keon did a lot with the short amount of time he had. "You getting screwed left and right girl and I can tell. Desmond doing damage?" Bree asked.
"My bitch out here alliterating, she motherfucking Dr.Seuss." Ada gave Bree some dap and they started laughing.
"I'm finna go tell they ass at the bar to stop serving y'all extra tipsy asses. Plus, y'all gon meet ole dude tomorrow. Just wait." I winked at them.
Keon was my plus one for the wedding. He wasn't a groom or nothing so he didn't have to come to this rehearsal. Neisha hired his studio to take the pictures for the wedding but he told them he wasn't working it.
After we finished up the run-through I decided to run by the house like I planned on.
keon ♥️
alright babe imma see you tm mornig
morning*
why you can't just come to my place 😶
bc i gotta do some things first and the girls staying at the hotel with Neisha tonight
keon ♥️goodnight then.. and be safe>keon ♥️- "You loved the message" night night. don't be mad at me 🥺
Read 10:04
I turned my phone off and started heading to Desmond's place.
I'm hoping and praying he is still gone so I can just get my shit and go. I plan on just disappearing out of his life. Fuck an explanation I don't owe him shit.
I calmed my nerves and pulled into the driveway of the one-story house. I didn't see his car around so I guess my prayer was answered.
Amen.
I took my key out and slowly unlocked the door, just to be sure. It was completely dark and I was too afraid to flip the lights on. I got my phone out and turned on the flashlight. Even through the low light of my phone, I could see that the place was completely trashed. There were food wrappers everywhere, flies, clothes, bottles, just shit scattered. The air was damp and musty; the whole environment made me want to get this done as fast as possible.
I leave for three days and the whole places goes to shit.
Walking closer to our bedroom door I was almost positive that no one was here. I heard something clank in front of me, making my body go cold.
The lights flickered on, leaving me standing face to face with Desmond.
"And where the fuck you been?" He had a bottle of liquor in his hand and took a swig out of it. He smelled like ass and the club and looked like shit. I can't believe I ever fell for someone like this. I let my standards get too low.
Though I was terrified, I continued to our room. Through the bathroom was my closet, which was barely full. When I first moved in, I had no intentions of leaving all my things boxed up. But then I saw who he really was and I realized I wouldn't be here for long.
I grabbed my half-full suitcase and shoveled all my things that were hanging up into it. Shoes, dresses, jackets, everything went in. I couldn't hear Dez or what was going on outside of the room, so I focused on getting out of here as quickly as possible.
I wheeled the heavy suitcase out of the closet and grabbed a few things from the bathroom and the dresser. I looked in my old drawer and stuffed everything I owned into a backpack.
Dragging all my stuff, I walked out to the living room. The lights were now on, showing how filthy the living room truly was. There was no time to sit and stare in disgust. I turned on my heels and hustled over to the door.
Out of the corner of my eye, something moved.