TW: mentions of rape.
When I woke up I didn't see Brendon next to me. Figures since it's 8am and he's probably at work. I'll go have breakfast there.
I had so many emotions going through me I wasn't sure which to follow. Last night was so unexpected and amazing. I loved it. He was so great and beautiful. Yes, beautiful. He's the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on. He's so amazing and breathtaking. Gosh. I should get going.
—
I walked into the diner and saw a few people inside. Some elders having their coffee. I spotted Brendon by the counter with a customer. I walked over and let him finish. Once the person left I smiled at him.
"Hey."
"Hi." He said and grabbed the jar of coffee before leaving. I narrowed my eyes and watch him pour more coffee into an old lady's mug. I realized he has a little limp. He came back and put the jar down.
"Sorry, about the um, the limp." I said and bit my lip grinning a little but he didn't find it amusing.
"Did you come here to eat?" He asked.
"Yeah." I nodded and he put a menu in front of me. The same one from the first time.
"What would you like to drink?"
"Is everything alright?" I asked and he blinked. "Seriously, if what happened between us ruined something then let me know. I made sure I had your consent on it. We enjoyed it, right?" I asked and he sighed.
"Not when I'm working." He said and I raised my brow. I got up and grabbed his arm seeing the hickey I left him before pulling him to the kitchen where Michael and Kyle were. We kept walking and stepped outside through the back door.
"What's up?" I asked and he tried to go back in but I got in his way.
"Ryan, I'm working."
"No! Right now you're not. You're going to tell me what's wrong because I don't see a problem but clearly something's got you upset." I explained and he rubbed his face.
"I don't have time, Ryan I –"
"Tell me." I said and he pursed his lips.
"We shouldn't have had sex."
"So you regret it?" I asked and him nodding broke me inside.
"I was tired and didn't know what I was doing. You came onto me." He said and I gaped narrowing my eyes.
"Are you saying I raped you?"
"Maybe you did, I would've never agreed to have sex with a guy!" He said. That sure hurt.
"Do you know how fucking ridiculous you sound? I didn't –" I stopped and scoffed. "Fuck, fuck this. Fuck you for being an ass over this. I never raped you, I made sure you were fine with what we were doing. After all the shit I've done for you, you know me, I would never do something like that. If you're saying this shit because of your religion and you feel like you've hit rock bottom then you're making a mistake picking that over me." I explained showing my wrath. He didn't respond and I figured that was enough.
I walked away and went to my car. I raped him? That's fucking stupid and attention seeking.
I thought he was different.
—
"That's real fucked up." Spencer said as he laid upside down on my couch. I sure missed him being around. Brendon really cut off a lot of the time he and I spend together.
"Fuck him, man. You deserve better." He said eating some peanuts and watching some show on Netflix I don't quite understand. Black Mirror I think. I took a sip of my beer and sighed.
"Would things be different if I would've just waited longer?"
"I don't know. If this is a religious thing then I wouldn't say so." He said and I nodded.
"Is it okay for you to be upside down?"
"Not sure but I feel fine."
"Still on the pain killers?"
"Yup." I chuckled and heard a knock on the door. It's so late, why is someone here?
"Must be Jon, I told him to come." Spencer said and I nodded unlocking the door. I opened it and there he was. Jon Walker.
"I've always wanted to have a sleepover." He said coming in with his blankets and pijamas.
"You fucking child." I chuckled and closed the door. It's not the first time we've had a sleepover but it's been a while.
"Enough with that show Spencer, put something else." He said sitting down on my spot.
"You assholes aren't finishing my food so I hope you don't eat anything."
"Oh! Reminds me, I have some stuff I brought in the car." Jon said and got up. I chuckled and grabbed my beer.
"I still think you should bill him." Spencer said sitting up straight. "Oh fuck, that did not go well with my brain." He said and shook his head.
"No, I can't do that."
"Why not? He claims you raped him." He said and I didn't respond. I was in deep thought. "You can't seriously think you raped him?" Spencer said and I blinked.
"The kiss wasn't consensual but he kissed back. Before I prepped him I asked if it was okay and he said yes."
"See, you didn't rape him. Stop thinking so much about this, he just wants to seem like the victim." He explained and exited from the show.
"You're right." I shrugged and didn't think of it much. I'm having a sleepover with my pals, I shouldn't be stressing over this.
—
I ended up asleep on the floor for some reason. Spencer was on the couch and Jon had his blanket and pillow on the floor as well but I didn't have anything. I got up and got on the opposite couch from Spencer's and laid down. I sighed and checked the time. It was 1am. We're a bunch of losers who can't handle all-nighters. We should be watching movies and eating buckets of ice cream right now. It's what Brendon and I would be doing. I shook my head and tried to forget before going to sleep.
If I remember this correctly I got on the couch in the middle of the night so why did I wake up on the floor again and Jon on the couch? That asshole. I got up and stretched feeling some bones crack. Spencer was still sound asleep.
I went to the kitchen and prepared some coffee. I grabbed my phone and checked the time. 8:45am. I had some good sleep. I set my mug down and didn't have milk. Damn. I heard someone groan and saw Spencer was waking up.
"Ow." He said and I stood up.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I forgot to take my pain killers. Just, pass them to me." He said and I grabbed the pills from the table and a bottle of water from the fridge.
"Here." I said and he sat up to take the pill. He swallowed it and sighed.
"These pills are no joke." He said and I chuckled.
"Yup."
"Are you still upset over Brendon?"
"I'll get over it." I shrugged and sat down on the table before grabbing his water and drinking it.
"It's a sleepover. Let's paint on Jon's face." Spencer chuckled.
"Aren't we a bit too old for– I'll go get the markers." I smirked and Spencer chuckled. I went up to my room and saw the bed wasn't made. I opened my drawer and didn't find the markers. I rolled over on the bed to get to the other side and caught Brendon's scent immediately.
I fell off the bed and groaned. I sat up quickly and grabbed the blanket before smelling it. It had his scent. His fucking scent is on these sheets. That's just what I needed. I stopped for a while and forgot what I was doing. I narrowed my eyes and remembered. The markers.
I opened the drawer and moved aside the lube. Not here. I opened the bottom drawer and there they were. I went back to the living room and Jon was awake.
"You took too long!" Spencer said and Jon narrowed his eyes and looked at the markers in my hand before laughing.
"Dumbasses."
"Sorry, I got caught up." I said and put the markers on the table.
"With what? The door?" Spencer joked and I looked down.
"Yeah." I chuckled and sat at the table.
"Let's go eat, I heard of this new place called Urie's Diner. Cassie told me it was good and they have karaoke at night." Jon said getting up.
"No, why can't we just order pizza?" Spencer said knowing it's best I don't go in there.
"Pizza? This early?" Jon said looking at me for an opinion and I nodded.
"Pizza." I said.
"Fine, but later we're going. They have karaoke." He said and we didn't respond. Jon isn't a third wheel but I'm just closer to Spencer. I'll let him know about Brendon, later.
—
It's been two weeks. I haven't heard from Brendon or been to the diner. What we had was nothing I guess, but I still think about him everyday. A shirt of mine still has his scent and I smell it every morning.
I just wonder if he thinks about me? What we did, was it really a mistake? I don't think it was. I loved it and I would do it again.
"Ry, give me the remote." Spencer said and I grabbed it from the table that was inches from him.
"You could've gotten it yourself, Beyoncé."
"I'm trying to live my celebrity life. Now go bring me some chips."
"Shut up." I chuckled and flipped him off.
"You're fired!" He said with a chuckle.
"This is my house, so you're fired."
"Touché."
"I was thinking," I started and he nodded. "Maybe, just a thought, we could go to Urie's Diner." I said and he raised his brow.
"Why would you want to go?" He asked.
"Just to see the place, how it's going. I helped built it up, I want to see it." I explained.
"You do know Brendon works there, right?"
"He might be, I'm willing to take my chances."
"Do you really want to?"
"Yeah." I nodded and he sighed.
"Okay then, let's go. I'm famished anyway."
—
I parked my car across the street and sighed.
"You sure about this? Not too late to back down." Spencer said and I nodded.
"I'm sure."
We got out of the car and walked towards the diner. It looked the same from the outside. Once we walked in it was the same inside too. It was a bit full but two tables weren't taken.
I saw Brendon walk out of the kitchen and he looked at me. He gaped and dropped the utensils in his hands. He looked down and picked them up apologizing to the table next to him.
"That's embarrassing." Spencer whispered and I nodded. Brendon finished and went back to the kitchen. We sat ourselves down and waited for Brendon. He was the only waiter here. He can't keep the customers waiting for long.
"Is it still the same menu?" Spencer asked and I nodded.
"The place looks busier, you did something right." I nodded again and was shaking my leg waiting for Brendon to show up at any second. I sighed and Spencer looked around. "It all looks the same."
"I doubt he was going to change it."
"The colors, I figured he'd paint the place white." Spencer chuckled and I shook my head.
"It's what makes it look more alive." I said and seconds later I see menus being put on the table.
"Welcome to Urie's Diner, what would you like to drink?" Brendon asked.
"Hi, I want a sprite." I said and Spencer hummed.
"I'll take an iced tea." He said and Brendon took time to get over me before writing it down.
"Actually, I want a sprite." Spencer said and he wrote that down. "No, wait, a Pepsi." Brendon sighed and wrote it down. "Nah, I'll take the iced tea." Spencer finally decided and smiled. Brendon left before he could change his mind again.
"Go easy on him." I said and Spencer raised his brow.
"Are you kidding? He's an asshole and my server? I'm having fun."
"No, he's obviously tired. He has bags under his eyes and his clothes is dirty."
"He works in a diner, of course it's dirty."
"But his hair was also messed up and dry. It's like he hasn't showered in forever." I explained seeing Brendon drop his pen. He picked it up and went to the kitchen.
"He really let himself go."
"I'm curious." I said and saw him walk out and over to us.
"Ready to order?" He asked and Spencer looked through the menu.
"Are you okay?" I asked and he nodded.
"Yeah, I'm fine. So, are you ready to order?"
"Brendon, seriously." I said and he pursed his lips.
"I'll be back when you're ready." He said and left.
"He's obviously not telling you anything."
"I'll make him." I said and got up walking into the kitchen. I saw Brendon sitting down with his eyes closed. I didn't see Michael but I saw Kyle, the guy I hired temporarily.
"Hey." I said and he flinched sitting up.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked. He got up and shook his head.
"Nothing, I should get back to work." He said and I stopped him.
"Really?"
"Yeah." He nodded and his eyes got watery. He looked down so I wouldn't notice but too late. I pulled him out the back door and he sighed rubbing his eyes. "Don't make me tell you my problems because it's embarrassing."
"I don't care."
"Ryan, please." He said and covered his face. "I can't look at you, I'm sorry. It's not – none of this is your fault. It's mine."
"What happened?" I asked and tried to remove his hands from his face but he stepped back.
"No." He said and I sighed.
"I only have so much patience." I said and he didn't move. I felt bad for some reason. He's going through something but doesn't want to tell me.
"You might think I hate you but I don't. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what's going on." I said and walked over to him. I put my hand on his waist and pulled him close. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he leaned in to my chest wrapping his arms around me. I heard him sniff and shook his head pulling away but I kept my arms around his waist so he wouldn't leave.
"Hey, stop, talk to me."
"I don't want you to feel pity for me so no."
"I already do." I said and he frowned. I wiped the tears on his cheeks and waited.
"My grandma knows what I did." He started and I nodded.
"What'd you do?"
"Had sex with you. I was mad at Julian and he called me out on my hickey and said I had sex with you as a joke so I admitted it and it didn't end well. My grandma kicked me out of the house so I've been staying here at the diner and Michael tries to help but my grandma threatened to kick him out too." He explained before sniffing.
"Your grandma is a bitch." I said and he nodded.
"I miss my mom."
"It's okay, I'll help you. Your grandma can't threaten me." I chuckled and he shook his head.
"No, I accused you of something so horrible, I don't deserve your help."
"I don't care, I'm giving it to you." I said and he narrowed his eyes.
"Why do you care so much for me?"
"I ask myself that everyday." I said and caressed his cheek. He cupped my cheeks and admired my face.
"I don't get it." He said and I hummed. "You've given me so much already and I return the favor by accusing you of something so horrible and you're still – you're still here wanting to help me."
"God forbid I help a pretty face like yours, huh?" I chuckled.
"You still like me?"
"Don't get so flattered." I said and let go of him. He smiled and grabbed my hand.
"I don't understand how I feel but I know that you're a good person and I wouldn't want to do anything to upset you. I'm sorry for what I said, I was only feeling insecure and sinful. I wasn't going to tell you this but when I woke up that morning, my ass was in so much pain." He explained and I nodded. That would happen, especially since it was his first time.
"And when I got up I couldn't walk correctly. I started crying and locked myself in the bathroom, I hated myself but that was only then. I think about it now and I liked it. It was good." He explained looking down at my chest instead of my eyes. I lifted his chin and he smiled a little.
"That's alright, I understand. You're new to this and that was a bit fast considering it was also your first kiss with a man." I said hoping I was right.
"Yeah." He chuckled. Thank fuck.
"I should get back to work now." He said and I nodded.
"Hey, I want you back at my place tonight." He smiled and nodded. I opened the back door and he grabbed my arm. I turned around and he kissed my cheek.
"Thank you."
"No problem, but don't do something like that again. Don't ever feel embarrassed or ashamed around me. Don't run away and don't accuse me of something I didn't do. Understood?" I said and he slowly nodded.
"Yes, understood."
"Okay, now go serve us because we're famished." I said and he stopped me from moving.
"Have you and Spencer had sex?"
"Yeah."
"I know you have but like recently, after we – we um...?"
"No, we haven't. It was only that one time. I doubt it'll happen again." I assured and he nodded a smile growing on his face.
"It seemed like you were jealous."
"I'm not, just –"
"Brendon, no one is serving out there." Kyle said and he nodded.
"Right, sorry, I'm sorry." He said and left the kitchen.
"Remind me to hire some waiters and new chefs, I know you're sick of being here."
"It's fun but doesn't pay much."
"Don't test me Kyle, I will pay you more."
"Woah, watch out." He chuckled and I nodded. "The guy is tired. Has been for a few days now. He deserves a break. I say you hire some people now."
"Thanks for the heads up." I said and walked out of the kitchen. I'll start today.
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wow this was a turn of events huh ??
this is also probs the longest chapter.