JULES POINT OF VIEW
***Five years ago**
"Will? What are you doing? We're going to be late!"
"Coming!"
He called back from upstairs. I waited impatiently at the door. After about two minutes, will came rushing down the stairs. And then of course, he's clusmy so he fell. I rolled my eyes and went over to help him up. He took my hand.
"Thanks."
I nodded. "Yeah yeah. Come on. We're late."
I opened the door and walked out, leaving him to close and lock the door. He met me at the car and opened the door. I climbed in and secured myself into the seatbelts. He walked over to his side and started the car. We had pulled of the driveway and onto the road. Will had put on our favorite song and we had jammed all the way to the doctors office. You see, me and will want a family of our own. And we had tried for one and I think it worked. We took the test but received no result. So just to be sure, we're getting a professional opinion.
We arrived not long after 1:30. Just in time for our appointment. We climbed out of the car and walked into the office. They sat us down after checking in and we waited somewhat patiently. We had waited about ten minutes before they called our names. We stood and followed the nurse into the room where the doctor would meet us.
When we got into the room, the nurse said that the doctor would be with us shortly and that she'd help me get into the robe. And she did. She looked under the cabinet, grabbed a robe that would fit me and had me undress and slip in. Will was no help there all he did was look at my butt when I turned around. I rolled my eyes. Damn he's embarrassing. When we had finished, the nurse had me sit and wait on the chair laying on my back.
The tension of waiting for the doctor is stressing and nerve wrecking. I turned to will for support.
"I'm scared." He nodded.
"It's okay. We got this."
He held out his hand and let us intertwine our fingers. I looked at him. He smiled. His presence warm and comforting. I thought about all the happy times we've had together and I try to imagine a little mini us running around. The thought gave my butterflies. I clutched my stomach, my hands shaking as I do so. Will looked at the hand on my stomach and squeezed the one he was holding as reassurance.
Then, the doctor came in. The doctor was a tall male with dark hair, blue eyes and pale skin. His jawline was sharp and his hair fell perfectly over his eyes. In conclusion, he was hot and I wanted him.
The doctor walked over to us and shook my hand then Wills. He introduced himself.
"Good afternoon, My name is doctor Ethan Romoray. How are you?"
"Good." Will and I both said.
The doctor smiled. That perfect smiled. "You must be Jules. Nice to meet you." I was speechless. All I could do was nod. He chuckled then turned back to the screen.
"Okay Jules, this is going to be simple, I'm going to put some gel on your stomach, it might be cold. Okay?"
I nodded again. Will looked at me worriedly. But he let it go. I think.
The doctor lifted up the robe, showing my underwear and my stomach. Will raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't she be wearing regular clothes?" He said skeptically to the doctor. The doctor shook his head.
"We don't want the regular clothes to get ruined by the gel or interfere with the ultrasound."
Will narrowed his eyes. Not really buying what the doctor was selling. I looked at him.
"Chill out." I whispered as the doctor turned away to get the jell. Will rolled his eyes. Not wanting to argue.
The doctor turned back with gel in his hands. He walked over to his little stool, sat down and opened the jell. He squeezed the bottle and almost instantly I felt a cold sensation touch my stomach. I reached out for someone's hand. When I touched someone's hand, I looked over and saw that I was holding Will's hand. I squeezed it. And as if squeezing the gel on my stomach wasn't enough, the doctor smoothed the gel out with a little knob connected to the computer.
"Okay, Jules. All I'm going to do is use the knob to locate your child. I'll check in the lower abdomen first before moving up. Tell me if I am pushing on your stomach too hard. Okay?" He asked putting his thumb up.
I nodded. He turned back to the computer tapped a few buttons then scooted over to me with his tiny spiny chair. He looked up at me.
"Ready?" I nodded, still holding will's hand. The doctor put the knob on my stomach and started moving his hand around my stomach in search for the baby. And then just as he was moving up from the lower abdomen, I saw something. I had him moved the knob back until I saw it again. He kept the knob in that area. I looked at will, smiling. He smiled back at me. "Are you ready for this?" I sucked in a breath as if it was my last. "Yeah...I'm ready." Will moved closer like he was leaning in to kiss me. But he stopped midway and cleared his throat. Discretely pointing to the doctor. I turned my attention back to him. Kind of almost forgot that he was there.
The doctor was cleaning up his equipment. When he turned back around and handed me a paper towel to remove the gooop from off my stomach. To took it and wiped my stomach thoroughly with the ragged paper towel. When I finished, the doctor handed me my clothes and said he'll be right back. He left the room, leaving me enough time to get dressed and situated. But as I was just finishing, Will broke the silence.
"Soo...Doctor Ethan Romoray." He said mockingly . I furrowed my brows.
"What about him? And why are you saying his name like that?" I asked confused. Will got up and be began to start walking around.
"I mean don't you find it weird that how they just so happen to stop making you keep your clothes on for an ultrasound because they don't want your clothes to be ruined. Bullshit."
I raised and eyebrow. "Are you jealous?"
"No." He said too fast. He was pacing around the room. I stood and stopped him mid stride.
"Hey, look at me. It's nothing to worry about. You're fine. You're the one I want and the one I married. I love you. I chose you."
He smiled. And pushed the hair out of his eyes. I walked up and wrapped my arms around him. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back. We stayed there for a few seconds before the doctor walked in.
He stopped at the door and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but here's a file of your next appointment and your paperwork. There's also tips and advice about morning sickness, and other pregnancy symptoms." I detached from Will and walked over and took the file. I thanked him. He nodded. I turned back to Will.
"We're good to go. Come on." I reached for his hand and lead him outside of the room.
When we walked out the door of the clinic, Will asked.
"Why'd you rush out of there?"
I shrugged. "Didn't like the vibe in there anymore."
Will had let it go and moved on. Accepting my answer.
We had walked to the car in silence. We had climbed in and shut the door. Five seconds later he turned on the car. And just as he was about to pull off, I stopped him.
"Wait, I need my hoodie. I'll be right back." I opened the door, hopped out the car and jogged back into the clinic.
Inside, I told the nurse what was wrong and walked back to the room I was in.
When I opened the door, I saw doctor Romoray. I stopped dead in my tracks. My cheeks growing a hot pink as I continued to stare. The doctor had been turned to the wall since I had gotten there. And truth be told, I couldn't find the words to speak. And I kind of didn't want to. My view was quite enjoyable.
Then to my surprise, he turned around and my breath caught. He saw me and smiled. "Did you forget something?"
I couldn't speak. "I-uh-"
He chuckled at my flusterness. Brandishing that beautiful smile.
I was in my head imagining him taking my hand and taking me far away. Not having to worry about anything...not even will. But he brought me back to reality when he cleared his throat.
"Can I help you with something?"
I blinked a few times trying to get my thoughts-and feelings-under control. "Yeah...yeah. I just came here for my hoodie."
The doctor nodded. "Ah, Yes."
He went over and grabbed the grey hoodie off the coat rack. And walked back over to me. He handed it to me and smiled. "Can't forget this now can we?"
I chuckled. Feeling my heart flutter again. I checked the time, and realized I still had Will waiting for me outside. Feeling a little rushed, I put the hoodie on and thanked the doctor. And turned to leave. He stopped me at the door. I gave him my full attention, because why not?
"Um, I put my number inside that folder in case you don't understand something on the papers or you just need to talk to someone. Okay?"
I nodded. Feeling myself smile inside. I have his number. Without realizing it, I started staring into his wonderfully beautiful blue eyes.
He stared back at me and smiled. All before saying, "It would make sense for you to give me your number so that I know who it is."
My heart nearly jumped out my chest. The hot doc wants my number. I'm not gonna lie, what I did after that was really fucked up.
I walked out of the clinic after about five minutes and I walked straight to the car. When I got in and closed the door, Will asked.
"Hey, what took so long?"
Of course I couldn't tell him the truth. So...
"I had gotten held up at the front desk. I guess there was more paperwork I had to sign. But it's all taken care of." I said as I turned to face Will. Plastering a fake smile on my lips, praying he believes me. And to my surprise, it worked.
"Oh well, that's good. Ready to go home?"
He asked turning his attention back to the starting wheel as he put the car in reverse. I nodded, and looked out the window. Letting a deep breath escape.
The car ride was silent. I was tired and it was Will's turn to make dinner so he had to think about what to make. And while he thought, I thought. I thought about the handsome doctor, our little chat in the ultrasound room, and the secrets that I was hiding.
**A few hours later***
It's six o'clock. Dinner is damn there ready and I just woke up from a nap with craps. I swear I feel like I'm about to die! While I slept, I let my phone charge and when I woke up, I wanted to see if I had any notifications. I had one. A text message. Guess who it's from....the hot doctor.
"Hey ;)"
I looked at the message. Contemplating everything. If I reply, that would technically be cheating...right? But if don't reply...wouldn't that be rude?
"Hi." I pressed send and looked up. What the hell am I doing? This is wrong.
"How are you feeling?" My breath caught.
Do I tell him about the cramps, the tiredness?
"My stomach is killing me and I'm tired-" I start to typed. But then I reconsidered. I then erase the message entirely. I think of something else.
"I'm in a little pain, but it's nothing I can't handle."
I look over the message again. The longer I look at it, the more annoyed I am with it. I clear it out of the box again. I sit on the bed for a couple of seconds trying to think of something to say. He probably thinks I've fallen asleep. And I'm just pressing buttons. Or...maybe he thinks that I'm so indecisive and immature that I can't think of a single reply. Most likely the second one.
I had left him on read for about two minutes while I calibrated a response. I sat there on my bed thinking until finally.
"I've been better. I have a few cramps and I'm kind of tired."
His response didn't take nearly as long as mine.
"Oh I'm sorry. You should get a heating pad for the cramps and there's not really nothing I can do about the tiredness other than advise you to take it easy. Intense stress can come from tiredness and ultimately harm your child."
That was more helpful than I had expected his advice to be.
"Thanks. That was fast." I pressed send, smiling to myself.
A minute later, a GIF came through with a person shrugging. I smiled. Why? I don't know.
After about twenty minutes of smiling and flirting and going back and forth with Ethan, I finally put the phone down, and walked out into the hallway to check on dinner.
When I walked into the kitchen, I was instantly overwhelmed with the beautiful aroma of fresh, savory meatballs and creamy mozzarella cheese. I walked up the the stove where Will was hard at work. I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and smiled.
"Smells nice."
He chuckled softly. "I bet it does."
I laid my head on his shoulders as he cooked. He was practically finished so it wasn't that much of a disturbance.
When dinner was finally finished we sat down at the table and said grace. Then, we dug in. My fist bite felt like heaven. And I tore up every bite after that making sure I had gotten the same reaction. I did. With each and every bite I felt an explosion of flavor burst.
We had finished eating around eight thirty. We cleaned up the dishes. And went upstairs to fool around for a bit.
Our time was quick yet passionate. And we enjoyed every moment. That was until I had to pee.
I stood from the bed, my silk nightgown flowing down to its full length after I stood from the bed. I walked over the bathroom door and did my business.
When I finished, I dried my hands off and walked out before stopping dead in my tracks.
"Will, what are you doing?"
On my side of the bed, hunched over my phone was Will.
He stood, turned to face me and held up the phone with my conversation with Ethan on screen. My heart stopped for real. The anxiety is finally taking its course.
"I don't know Jules. What were you doing talking to Ethan? Who's Ethan at that?"
His tone was serious and demanding. And it scared and upset me that I didn't want to answer him. He waited for my response. I however, kept him waiting, not saying anything. Then, I assumed he had lost his patience.
"Jules?" He called my name, startling me.
"Who is this guy and what the hell is he doing texting you?"
Welp, I don't think there's any more reasons to lie. I took a deep breath and told him everything. Pausing occasionally and holding my breath as he reacted and put in his input. Which was mostly yelling.
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS JULES?! I knew there was something wrong with that man the moment he came into the room. You had started acting all lovey dovey, acting as if you aren't married! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
I tried to explain myself. I tried to explain how, it was a moment of weakness and that it was a mistake. But he wouldn't hear a word of it. He walked over to the door and kept his back to me as he talked.
"I'm sleeping downstairs. I need some space." His voice was hoarse with all the screaming he did. Then without giving me anytime to talk, he walked out the door.
I sat on the bed with the light out. Just stating. I managed to damage my entire relationship in just one day. That's a record.
Hours began to pass and I slowly drifted off to sleep only to have a horrible dream. The dream scared me so badly, I woke up drenched in sweat. I was breathing heavily, which wasn't good for my asthma. My entire back was saturated in sweat. And just when I thought nothing could get any worse, I felt something leak out from my...area. It felt weird and to be honest, I was scared and I didn't want it to be what I feared most.
I stood and ran into the bathroom, turned on the light and checked my underwear. Red. My heart stopped.
"No. It-it can't be. Please!"
I muttered to myself in vain. It's too late. The tears weld up and my throat closed. I called for Will.
"WILL! WILL, PLEASE! Hurry!"
My screams were loud enough for him to hear all the way downstairs. And surely, I could here his footsteps pounding against the floor boards. I didn't stop calling his name until he burst through the door and met me in the bathroom.
"What-What's wrong?" He asked, his voice still hoarse with worry. "Is it the baby?"
I didn't answer. I was too busy sobbing. He walked up to me and finally gotten a better look at my underwear. His tone instantly changed to remorse.
"Oh...baby-I'm so sorry. Is...is there anything I can do?"
I shook my head.
"No. Just take me to the hospital so I can get this thing fully removed." I said dryly. The tears still falling down my face.
He nodded. "Okay. Come on. Put on a pair of jeans, I'll get the car ready."
I didn't say anything. I just nodded and walked past him. Feeling like my entire life was just destroyed. I guess karma really is a Bitch.
Later that night, I was taken to the hospital to have the 'baby' removed. They released me the next day. I went home that afternoon and stayed in my room. But talking to no one. Not eating, not sleeping. Just breathing. Sometimes I wondered what was the point of that too.
Days began to pass. I would eat occasionally. And my dumbass would always eat enough so that I wouldn't starve. As the days somehow seemed to grow longer and start to mash together, and start to become a repeat of the day before, time never ceased. It kept going. And I didn't keep track of it. Eventually months began to fly by. Five to be exact.
Somehow, Will had managed to persuade me to go out on a date with him being as though we haven't been on one for almost a year. I didn't really give an answer. I just was kind of dragged out.
Unfortunately for him, he didn't know what I was about to. It would be devastating in his eyes, while for me-it would be alleviating. I would finally be free and there would be no going back.
** A few hours later***
We were just sat down at the table and we were looking at the menu. Will had just ordered us some drinks. I already had my plan ready. And after we had gotten the food, I put it action.
I wiped my face with my napkin. I had just finished eating a stake.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." The longest sentence I said in the past five months. Will looked up and nodded. I stood, pushed in my chair and leaving the note for Will on the table for later.
Once I left the table, I shot straight for the ladies room. Luckily there was nobody in the stalls. I walked over to the last stall. I shuffled inside and checked once more to see if there was anyone watching.
Once positive, I climbed onto the toilet seat, turned slightly to face the window. I reached for the latch, pulled it opened and climbed up and out of the window.
I admit it was a little difficult, but I got through and once I set foot on the ground outside, I started walking away and didn't look back once.
**WILLIAM'S POINT OF VIEW***
Jules has been in the bathroom for a while. I want to go check on her but I don't know if she's doing some serious business or what. But regardless, it's the woman's bathroom, I can't go in there. But I tried my hardest and I actually found someone who was willing to check under the stalls for shoes and call her name. But when they had came back empty handed, I started panicking.
I went back to the table and found a note in her seat. I picked it up and read it in my head.
"Dear Will,
I know this may sound weird, your wife just climbed out of the window on your first date in a year. But... it's true. By the time you start reading this letter, I'll be long gone. I'm so sorry for not explaining this in person. But I just couldn't bare to face the hurt and anguish I would be causing you. But Will, there is something I want to express to you. My leaving was not you're fault. I loved you with all my heart but, I couldn't keep living that lifestyle and keep pretending like everything was fine because it wasn't. Im so so sorry for the pain I may have caused you, but I had to set myself free or I wouldn't have survived this year. Again, I'm so sorry for the pain I may have caused. I loved you and a part of me always will. Thank you, for these amazing last three years.
Sincerely, Jules."
And with that, my entire world crashed down before me.