Charlie trusts me to make the right decisions and right now I don't know what those decisions are. I want to imprint, but i don't know what that means nor what it fully entails...
Charlie and i lye in the bed together as we begin to talk. "You know... I never have even been close enough to someone to talk about shit like this... I've been bottling up everything from my life because there was never anyone I could talk to about it..." I told him.
"Well, it's good to get it out. I like learning about you. It's nice. You've had a pretty... tough life..."
"It only gets worse... so when I was 15 my parents split up, but neither of them wanted to keep me. So they both just left me alone one night. I just woke up and nobody was home and anything that my parents wanted to keep was gone. There was still some stuff left, but not much. I managed to sell whatever was left to make money to eat, and when it finally got close enough to the end of the money that I had, I got a shitty job working in a warehouse. It was a shit job, but it made money. I got student loans so I could go to college, but I never had a plan... I was taking general education just to get something going, but I never felt like I was accomplishing anything... I did take a number of music classes and can pretty much play whatever instrument you put in front of me, as long as it has strings."
"What's your favorite to play?"
"Guitar. Love playing guitar. I even like the violin a bit." I told him.
"You play violin?"
"It's one of my favorites."
"I play violin too! I have one with me as well, I don't play it as much anymore, though. I taught Chastopher how to play the violin. He is taking a class for it."
"Lucky boy. He must be having fun with that."
"You like my brother?"
"He's a good kid. I'd scare him though if I ever tried to talk to him. Maybe one day we'll talk, but for now, eh. Not something that I'm too interested in doing. Scaring a kid." I said.
"I feel that's fair. Did you ever have siblings?"
"No. My mother had me as an accident and after that she never made the same mistake again." I said.
"I can see a pattern here."
"What's that?"
"Your life has been growing up with people who didn't want you around. You never had a roll model. That I'm sure has effected your behavior a little. Just enough to spike anxiety that enhances the feelings you have to others. And if anyone shows any kind of anger to you, it's enhanced by both of you and then you perceive it as them hating you. And then they hate you. Because you've decided to hate them because you think they hate you."
"Hey that's a pretty deep dig you did there~" I said, flipping over, half on top of him and half not. I touch my nose to his. "One day Im gonna be just as good as you at picking at backgrounds to learn things about them they didn't even know." I joke.
Charlie laughs and sinks down into the bed. "I took a psychology class so I guess I'm obviously an expert." He said, sarcastically.
"Charlie, don't ever change." I said, kissing his nose then flopping over onto my side, half hugging him.
"I haven't got much to change about myself right now, Cooth." He said, patting my back.
We sit like this for a while, it's calming and peaceful.
"Cooth?"
"Hm."
"What did you look like before... you had to give up your color?" He asks.
I realize now that I haven't seen myself with any kind of color or detail in.... months... like... six of them. And that I only really have a vague sense of what I use to look like. "Well... I might be inaccurate answering this question for ya. I haven't looked at myself with color in a long time. But... i feel like I use to be this sort of... string bean goth boy." I sit up. "I had black hair. It kinda just does what it wants, I don't try to contain it or mess with it. You already know I have this weird yellow-hazel color eyes. I have gage's, these solid black 7.5mm ones." I touch my ear, able to feel them but knowing Charlie can't see them. "Along with two more peicings on the outer edge of my ear. One a stud, the other a ring. These are on both ears. Uh." I notice Charlie staring at me in curiosity. "What?"
"Can you feel it?" He asked.
"Well, yeah. I can." I said. "I'm sure you can't see it, but it's there."
"Huh..." He seemed a little restless.
"What?"
"Can I feel it? I know it's weird, but I wanna see if I can get a sense of what you look like by touch." He said.
"Uhhhh, sure." I said.
He sits up in front of me on his knees. He squints his eyes, trying to see anything. "Yeah there's just no detail at all.... I can't make anything out throughout the shadow..." he said.
"We knew this." I laughed.
Charlie laughed too. "I don't know, I thought that maybe if I looked closer I'd be able to see something." He gently touches my cheek and closes his eyes. He's shocked when he actually feels skin. "Oh. I can feel it." He said.
"You're adorable." I laughed.
"Whatever!" He trails his hands around my face a bit. He stops when he feels the two snake bite piercings I have under my bottom lip. "Are these more piercings?"
"Yeah. Snake bites. I like them."
"Why do you have so many piercings?" He asks, chuckling.
"Got one on my nose too." I said. "I don't know, I like them."
"What kind is on your nose?" He asks.
"Just a basic bull ring." I told him. "They make me feel... I dunno. Cooler?" I said.
"I'm sure." He said, his hands now trailing up to my hair. "You have soft hair!" He said.
"Yeah. It's very fine and hasn't had any color treatments done to it. I don't think it would take even if I tried to color it. It's not very porous." He said.
"But it's so soft~" he said. His hands trail down my neck to my shoulders. He stops, feeling my jacket. "What are these?" He said, poking the embellishments. "Studs. The little pointy metal ones."
"You said you liked the gothic style, you just hated their attitude, yeah?"
"Yeah. We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed." I said.
"Thats not true! What about like... cancer! Or heart disease?"
"How did you get the heart disease? Probably from not eating healthy. You've killed yourself. Cancer, you get that passed to you. You got killed."
"That's a very loose statement." He said, chuckling. "But whatever. That's fair." His hands continue to trail around my clothing. "The coat is leather?" He asked.
"Synthetic leather. I'm too poor for the real shit. Thrift shop, ya know?" I said. "Black leather."
He finds where my coat opens up and traces his hands around the fabric of my shirt. "There's something on this shirt... the plasticky inscription, What is it?"
I chuckle. "It's a red cotton shirt with a sort of target-ish logo on it in black." I said.
"What does it mean?"
"I don't know. Thrift shop item. Was cheap."
"Ah." He trails his hands down my torso and I'm very aware of how low he's going. I can feel my fire starting to flair up a bit.
"Why does this happen?" He said.
"What?"
"The shadow around you goes wild a bit, what is going on?"
"I think it's kind of like a blush... something that indicates a sudden pick up in what would be a heartbeat if I was alive." I said.
"Soooo... it means you like it?" Charlie asked.
I laugh. "I'm sure!" I said, not actually sure.
Charlie chuckles. His hands continue down till he reaches my belt. "Also studded?"
"Makes for a fantastic weapon for self defense. That could really leave a welt in you if you hit it just right." I said.
"I wouldn't doubt it." He said. His hands had paused on my hips, his eyes closing again.
"You okay?"
"Figuring our the fabric of your pants... they're like... a stretchy fabric, but thicker than yoga pants and more... formal... but also comfortable. Like a polyester mix." He said. "I am uncomfortable because I can't actually figure out what that fabric is..." he chuckles.
I look up and into his eyes, wondering about my luck. In life it was shit, but now that im dead it almost seems like karma is paying me back.
Charlie looks back up into my eyes and lets out a small soft sigh, and i can see a little gentle smile form on his face. That sweet and beautiful look... and then the most odd thing happened... his eyes began to glow.
Charlie must have seen my eyes do the same cuz he looked surprised. "Cooth-"
"Dont move." I said softly, touching his cheek. "Dont move... this feels... right." I told him. It did. It felt perfect, and the glow tells me this is at least doing something.
Charlie losing his focus a bit dimmed his glow, but it came back when we locked eyes again. "You would let me imprint right now on you if i could... right?" I asked him softly.
"Without a second thought..." he mumbled, smiling.
And then i felt it. Like a click, something magical occurred and almost like a warmth radiated from charlie, and he felt it too, something connecting. A bond.
That was an imprint. I imprinted on him.