Sunday, June thirtieth 2019
"Good morning," Shawn greeted him with his infamous smile, looking Corbyn's way as the teen stretched under his covers. "Morning," He mumbled out, turning his back to the sun and closing his eyes once more. "Corbs, you have to get up, breakfast is only, until ten and it's already nine-fifteen," The blond only hummed, hearing Shawn's footsteps nearing closer.
"You have to get up, honey," The brunet picked Corbyn up, setting him down in his lap and holding the tired teen tightly as he whined. "I don't want to, i'm tired," Corbyn once more mumbled, his arms around Shawn's neck as his head leaned against his shoulder. "You have to. They're going to check us after breakfast and if you're not there, there could be punishments," Corbyn's eyes widened and he looked up at Shawn, who looked down at him.
"What type of punishments?" He asked, his voice shaking, the movies he had seen and books he had read were honestly scaring him to death right now. "No, no, nothing bad, i promise. It's just that you can't leave your room and get an earlier bedtime, that's all," An unknowing breath left Corbyn's lips, closing his eyes with a smile as he breathed in the cologne Shawn was wearing; an item they weren't allowed to own, but still Noah walked in every morning letting Shawn use it and giving him a kiss on the cheek before leaving again.
"Come on, honey, you need to get ready," Corbyn nodded, holding onto Shawn tightly so he wouldn't let go of him. "Okay then, fine," Corbyn giggles once Shawn stood to his feet; his hands tightly under the blond's thighs so there was no way for him to slip out of his grip.
"Noah brought you new clothes this morning and a new towel, i suggest you hold them and i walk you to the showers, what about it, huh?" Corbyn nodded, a smile resting on his face as he was held tightly against Shawn's chest; he had missed this comfort while he was sleeping— he missed Jonah and Daniel's arms tightly around his figure as they slept at night.
"Take a quick shower, it's almost nine-thirty, we need to be there by nine-forty-five at least. I will wait for you here," With a small 'okay', Corbyn was let down from Shawn's hold and he walked into one of the stalls; where he changed out of his daywear, put a towel around his waist and walked into one of the shower stalls.
Corbyn unwrapped the towel from his waist, hanging it on the hook and turning to the shower. The warm droplets of water immediately hit his face and chest, the warmth consuming his thoughts and his hands rising to shake around the blond hairs on his head; making sure his hair was wet and the shampoo would do its work.
As he took a step forward he hissed, feeling the crimson blood leave the open skin on his foot. Corbyn stepped back to see the razor blade on the ground; his blood on the sharp corners. He leaned down, taking the small, harming blade between his index finger and thumb.
"Corbs? Honey, you okay?" Shawn's voice entered his ears, Corbyn's head rising as he watched the water droplets fall from the shower, the steam around him warming him up. "Y-yeah," He stuttered, hiding the blade in the corner of the stall. "I'm fine, Shawn, i promise," The brunet at the other side of the stall only hummed, his forehead leaned against the door.
"Okay, i need Shawn Mendes and Corbyn Besson from ward 3A, room number 05," Noah said through the speaker, his voice being heard in the cafeteria, where both Shawn and Corbyn sat; only now done with their breakfast. "Let's go, honey, i know where to go," Corbyn took Shawn's hand, it being held out for him with a smile.
They walked through the many halls, finally turning the corner to see one door straight ahead at the end of the hallway. "Is this where they check up on us?" Corbyn asked, his grip slightly tightening on Shawn's hand as the hallway lights flickered. "Yeah, don't worry about the lights though, there's something wrong with the electricity cord that usually makes them work normally," The blond nodded with a small frown, holding onto Shawn's veiny arm as they continued their walk to the room; Corbyn was honestly frightened of how dark it was in this hallway— he never liked the dark.
"Ah, there you guys are," Noah smiled at them, gesturing for them to sit on the small bed against the wall. "So, what we are gonna do now, Corbyn, is let you undress and make sure there has been no more self harm in the past day," The teen bit down on his bottom lip, a sign of anxiousness that radiated off of his body quite easily.
"It's nothing to be scared of, honey. You're beautiful in every way," Shawn pecked his cheek with a smile, seeing Corbyn let go of his bottom lip, having drawn the littlest of blood, a shy smile forming with his lips. "I will go first if you want to, so you can see everything that occurs," Corbyn nodded and Shawn stood up with a smile, he had done this at least a thousand times, if not more, he didn't actually know how long he had been in the facility and how much longer his stay was going to be.
The brunet felt the tingles in his stomach, he knew Noah would be mad at him. Shawn lifted his shirt over his head, it sliding down his arms as Noah took it from him, already frowning at the new lines he saw. "Pants down, too," He spoke without many emotion, following the many, just carved, lines on Shawn's arms; it had to have been done yesterday night, or this morning.
Noah took the file from his desk, seeing how many lines there were in the last 'gone wrong' checkup. "That's sixteen more," Noah sighed softly when he counted, his hand cupping Shawn's cheek softly. "No leaving your room, until i say so," The brunet nodded, looking down at his feet; he knew Noah would be mad, if not disappointed, with him, but still he let the blade carve through his skin— it relieving the pain he felt, but only for seconds.
"Come on, muffin," Noah spoke gently, gesturing for Shawn to stand on the scale to weigh him. "You're hundred-eighty-four centimeters, so eighty kilograms is good. Good job on that," Shawn smiled, at least he did something right. "Okay, then i'm done with checking on you, but we need to talk after this. Now, Corbyn, do you want him to stay, or go?" The blond looked up at the mention of his name, seeing Shawn start to dress himself again. "I want him to stay," The small voice was heard loud enough, even though it was said just above a whisper. Noah nodded, holding his hand out for Corbyn to take.
"It's okay, lovely, we're not going to judge you," Corbyn hesitantly rose the warm sweater, that hung loosely around his figure, over his head. "Since this is your first check, we're going to have to count the lines. Is that okay with you?" The blond looked down, shrugging, he didn't have anything to say. He slid the sweatpants off of his legs, more lines visible to their eyes. "That's thirteen scars and eight recently carved," Noah mumbled to himself, writing the information down in Corbyn's file.
"Come on, we have to weigh you now," Noah smiled, even though he could see the outline of Corbyn's ribs clearly through the skin. "You're height is hundred-seventy-three centimeters and you weigh forty-eight kilograms. You're underweight," He let those words sink in, before he continued, but all Corbyn wanted was his clothes covering his body again. "And that's why we will have someone, most likely me, get you enough food and have you eat every meal, until there's nothing left on your plate," Corbyn nodded at him, turning to quickly get his shirt and pants on again. He slid on the shirt, it covering himself to the middle of his thighs, before he pulled the sweatpants up his legs with an inaudible sigh.
"You can wait outside for a minute, Corbyn, i have to talk to Shawn and then you can leave together," "Okay," The reply went almost unheard, but both Shawn and Noah smiled at him when the door closed.
"How did your talk with Noah go?" Corbyn questioned, curious to the answer in the silence that caused his boredom; both him and Shawn had been in their room all day— Corbyn was not going to leave him. "Okay, i guess. He didn't say it, but i know he's disappointed. I can't help it, though. He doesn't know the feeling, but you do. And you get me in a way he doesn't," The blond nodded at the words, hearing the loud bell ring, indicating it was time to go to their rooms and get ready for bed; but both boys had already been ready an hour ago.
"So you just stay in your room all day, now?" Corbyn questioned, turning his head on his pillow to look at Shawn's figure; he tried to hide it, but his obvious tears were visible to Corbyn— even with the distance between the two beds. "Yeah, he said for a week and go to therapy everyday. He just doesn't get it, Corbs. This is not 'healing' us, it's just more opportunity to close ourselves from the outside world," With a knock their conversation was disturbed, the door opening and Noah being in their sight.
"Hey, i got the book you really wanted," He spoke silently, walking towards the blond and setting his journal down on the bed with a pen. "Thank you," "Goodnight, you guys," Noah walked over to Shawn, placing a kiss on his forehead. "I'm sorry, it's the rules, muffin. I love you," Shawn turned around without a sound, hearing Noah's sigh and his footsteps when he walked out of the room, closing the door softly.
"Goodnight, honey," Corbyn smiled, taking his journal in his hands as he said his goodnight back to Shawn, pen in hand. "Goodnight, Shawn,"
Sunday, June thirtieth 2019
Dear diary,
It's been a few days. Honestly, i don't like it here. I want to go outside, but they're not allowing us to, because they think we will try to escape. I just want to go home. I miss Daniel's bed. I miss their huge ass garden. I miss mr. Seavey, even though he put me here. But most of all, i miss Daniel and Jonah. I want to go home and lay in their arms. It's lonely at night.
Corbyn Matthew
wc: 1821.